Holidays and Dealing with Family Members

[Ratatosk]

I know I've brought this topic up before. I'm not a clean freak, germaphobe by any means, but I'm having a tough time dealing with relatives, inlaws who show up to family events sick because they just don't want to miss out.

What brought this to mind was MY family this past weekend. My parents were visiting and my brother & nephew showed up to see them and my nephew sounded AWFUL. Like he had tons of junk in his lungs. He didn't seem sick and I was beside myself with worry. I was thinking -- geez, I'm ready to protest holidays and tell people they just aren't welcome in our home anymore to stay. Last month my niece has pnemonia, aunts and cousins at previous holiday events.

I briefly mentioned my concerns to my husband. And he reassured me that DS will be okay. That he probably won't get sick from being around my nephew because -- my 15 year old nephew has a SMOKER'S cough. The kid apparently smoked like a chimney, outside the entire time he vistied.

Anyway, end of rant. Still worried about ds btw. But how do others deal with inconsiderate family members

 

[Ratatosk]

I know I've brought this topic up before. I'm not a clean freak, germaphobe by any means, but I'm having a tough time dealing with relatives, inlaws who show up to family events sick because they just don't want to miss out.

What brought this to mind was MY family this past weekend. My parents were visiting and my brother & nephew showed up to see them and my nephew sounded AWFUL. Like he had tons of junk in his lungs. He didn't seem sick and I was beside myself with worry. I was thinking -- geez, I'm ready to protest holidays and tell people they just aren't welcome in our home anymore to stay. Last month my niece has pnemonia, aunts and cousins at previous holiday events.

I briefly mentioned my concerns to my husband. And he reassured me that DS will be okay. That he probably won't get sick from being around my nephew because -- my 15 year old nephew has a SMOKER'S cough. The kid apparently smoked like a chimney, outside the entire time he vistied.

Anyway, end of rant. Still worried about ds btw. But how do others deal with inconsiderate family members

 

[Ratatosk]

I know I've brought this topic up before. I'm not a clean freak, germaphobe by any means, but I'm having a tough time dealing with relatives, inlaws who show up to family events sick because they just don't want to miss out.

What brought this to mind was MY family this past weekend. My parents were visiting and my brother & nephew showed up to see them and my nephew sounded AWFUL. Like he had tons of junk in his lungs. He didn't seem sick and I was beside myself with worry. I was thinking -- geez, I'm ready to protest holidays and tell people they just aren't welcome in our home anymore to stay. Last month my niece has pnemonia, aunts and cousins at previous holiday events.

I briefly mentioned my concerns to my husband. And he reassured me that DS will be okay. That he probably won't get sick from being around my nephew because -- my 15 year old nephew has a SMOKER'S cough. The kid apparently smoked like a chimney, outside the entire time he vistied.

Anyway, end of rant. Still worried about ds btw. But how do others deal with inconsiderate family members

 

[ktsmom]

This will be our first trial - in fact coming up this weekend we will go to a niece's birthday party. And it just keeps going from here on out.

We've got one married-into person who has had a chronic cough for the last two years; and one who is in ESRD. I kind of worry about contamination FROM Katy TO them. Her last culture was clean but you never know.

My DH and me seem to be opposite of you guys; my DH is TOTALLY OPPOSED to interacting with any of them (and it is his family!) and I'm kind of rolling with it. But, as I said, I'm new to this and Katy has been pretty healthy.

My Dad is supposed to come up next week and he has developed shingles. My Dad called Katy's doc ON HIS OWN to discuss whether he should still come up. The consensus was that he shouldn't, unless he is clear. These are interesting times indeed!

Dana
Mom to Katy (3, cf) and Kyra (6, no cf)

 

[ktsmom]

This will be our first trial - in fact coming up this weekend we will go to a niece's birthday party. And it just keeps going from here on out.

We've got one married-into person who has had a chronic cough for the last two years; and one who is in ESRD. I kind of worry about contamination FROM Katy TO them. Her last culture was clean but you never know.

My DH and me seem to be opposite of you guys; my DH is TOTALLY OPPOSED to interacting with any of them (and it is his family!) and I'm kind of rolling with it. But, as I said, I'm new to this and Katy has been pretty healthy.

My Dad is supposed to come up next week and he has developed shingles. My Dad called Katy's doc ON HIS OWN to discuss whether he should still come up. The consensus was that he shouldn't, unless he is clear. These are interesting times indeed!

Dana
Mom to Katy (3, cf) and Kyra (6, no cf)

 

[ktsmom]

This will be our first trial - in fact coming up this weekend we will go to a niece's birthday party. And it just keeps going from here on out.

We've got one married-into person who has had a chronic cough for the last two years; and one who is in ESRD. I kind of worry about contamination FROM Katy TO them. Her last culture was clean but you never know.

My DH and me seem to be opposite of you guys; my DH is TOTALLY OPPOSED to interacting with any of them (and it is his family!) and I'm kind of rolling with it. But, as I said, I'm new to this and Katy has been pretty healthy.

My Dad is supposed to come up next week and he has developed shingles. My Dad called Katy's doc ON HIS OWN to discuss whether he should still come up. The consensus was that he shouldn't, unless he is clear. These are interesting times indeed!

Dana
Mom to Katy (3, cf) and Kyra (6, no cf)

 

[DEES4]

Well all of our family members know how we feel about our son being around anyone who is sick. I find out before we go to any family get together if anyone is sick. If they are my husband or I will stay home with our son. This has only happened a couple of times though. My brother and his wife have also stayed at home instead of coming when one of their kids have been sick. It is really hard though....especially through Thanksgiving and Christmas when it seems like so many people are sick.One Christmas my brothers little girl was coughing and I just tried like heck to keep my son away as much as possible. I really don't expect anyone to miss out on having Thanksgiving or Christmas with the family. But as far as birthday parties and things like that I would just rather not go then expose my son to any sick germs. I really don't know what I would do though if I had inconsiderate family members. I would probably get really upset with them and let them know it. Family members of all people should care the most about your son staying healthy. It could be that maybe they just dont realize how sick a simple cold could make your son. I hope things work out for you guys through the holidays!! Good luck!
Carrie
Mom to: Daniel (no cf), Emily (no cf), Ethan (no cf), Sawyer (cf)

 

[DEES4]

Well all of our family members know how we feel about our son being around anyone who is sick. I find out before we go to any family get together if anyone is sick. If they are my husband or I will stay home with our son. This has only happened a couple of times though. My brother and his wife have also stayed at home instead of coming when one of their kids have been sick. It is really hard though....especially through Thanksgiving and Christmas when it seems like so many people are sick.One Christmas my brothers little girl was coughing and I just tried like heck to keep my son away as much as possible. I really don't expect anyone to miss out on having Thanksgiving or Christmas with the family. But as far as birthday parties and things like that I would just rather not go then expose my son to any sick germs. I really don't know what I would do though if I had inconsiderate family members. I would probably get really upset with them and let them know it. Family members of all people should care the most about your son staying healthy. It could be that maybe they just dont realize how sick a simple cold could make your son. I hope things work out for you guys through the holidays!! Good luck!
Carrie
Mom to: Daniel (no cf), Emily (no cf), Ethan (no cf), Sawyer (cf)

 

[DEES4]

Well all of our family members know how we feel about our son being around anyone who is sick. I find out before we go to any family get together if anyone is sick. If they are my husband or I will stay home with our son. This has only happened a couple of times though. My brother and his wife have also stayed at home instead of coming when one of their kids have been sick. It is really hard though....especially through Thanksgiving and Christmas when it seems like so many people are sick.One Christmas my brothers little girl was coughing and I just tried like heck to keep my son away as much as possible. I really don't expect anyone to miss out on having Thanksgiving or Christmas with the family. But as far as birthday parties and things like that I would just rather not go then expose my son to any sick germs. I really don't know what I would do though if I had inconsiderate family members. I would probably get really upset with them and let them know it. Family members of all people should care the most about your son staying healthy. It could be that maybe they just dont realize how sick a simple cold could make your son. I hope things work out for you guys through the holidays!! Good luck!
Carrie
Mom to: Daniel (no cf), Emily (no cf), Ethan (no cf), Sawyer (cf)

 

[anonymous]

Our family periodically deals with this as well. This year it may be a non-issue as Maggie keeps getting sick and it is likely we will go nowhere for the holidays :>( In general our family is pretty good about the germ issue but in the winter there is bound to be one relative who is sick or has a cold. I do get the"but she goes to playgroups, dance class, nursery school, with other children and you don't know what germs they have" alot. We take chances alot and Maggie has been sick alot this fall, my guess due to the new exposure to nursery school kids(which she loves nursery school). I feel like whatever I choose i can't win. We stay home, she misses out. We're active and busy, she gets sick, then we're staying home. What to do. Usually I'm quite positive but I have a sinking feeling we'll be having a holiday in the hospital. Hopefully, I'm wrong. Geez, I feel like Debbie downer lately(Sat night Live)

 

[anonymous]

Our family periodically deals with this as well. This year it may be a non-issue as Maggie keeps getting sick and it is likely we will go nowhere for the holidays :>( In general our family is pretty good about the germ issue but in the winter there is bound to be one relative who is sick or has a cold. I do get the"but she goes to playgroups, dance class, nursery school, with other children and you don't know what germs they have" alot. We take chances alot and Maggie has been sick alot this fall, my guess due to the new exposure to nursery school kids(which she loves nursery school). I feel like whatever I choose i can't win. We stay home, she misses out. We're active and busy, she gets sick, then we're staying home. What to do. Usually I'm quite positive but I have a sinking feeling we'll be having a holiday in the hospital. Hopefully, I'm wrong. Geez, I feel like Debbie downer lately(Sat night Live)

 

[anonymous]

Our family periodically deals with this as well. This year it may be a non-issue as Maggie keeps getting sick and it is likely we will go nowhere for the holidays :>( In general our family is pretty good about the germ issue but in the winter there is bound to be one relative who is sick or has a cold. I do get the"but she goes to playgroups, dance class, nursery school, with other children and you don't know what germs they have" alot. We take chances alot and Maggie has been sick alot this fall, my guess due to the new exposure to nursery school kids(which she loves nursery school). I feel like whatever I choose i can't win. We stay home, she misses out. We're active and busy, she gets sick, then we're staying home. What to do. Usually I'm quite positive but I have a sinking feeling we'll be having a holiday in the hospital. Hopefully, I'm wrong. Geez, I feel like Debbie downer lately(Sat night Live)

 

[Augustmom0003]

I have the same issues. Although EVERYONE KNOWS what SHOULD be done (either don't come if you're sick, or tell us and we will stay home) there's usually one or two that either "risk it" or just comes and doesn't really care (or think about it). So, I don't know. I don't want him missing out AT ALL...some of the best memories of my life are Christmas with my family...but...then again...with certain people not "playing by my rules" (LOL!!! Kidding...but it still feels like they just don't care)...then it becomes a little tough. Do we go then if anyone is sick, leave? Do we call ahead of time (which I've found doesn't really help)? I'm not a HUGE germaphobe...but I don't want my son (or any of us for that matter) directly around sickies (lol!) Last year we had a close call with a car full of sick cousins waiting on us at the house (we go to dinner then someone's house)....we were late so they left. (the same cousin cultured PA in her ears and she doesn't have CF...so I'm very leary about that whole issue).

I don't know.....

Debbie Downer...LOL! HILARIOUS!

 

[Augustmom0003]

I have the same issues. Although EVERYONE KNOWS what SHOULD be done (either don't come if you're sick, or tell us and we will stay home) there's usually one or two that either "risk it" or just comes and doesn't really care (or think about it). So, I don't know. I don't want him missing out AT ALL...some of the best memories of my life are Christmas with my family...but...then again...with certain people not "playing by my rules" (LOL!!! Kidding...but it still feels like they just don't care)...then it becomes a little tough. Do we go then if anyone is sick, leave? Do we call ahead of time (which I've found doesn't really help)? I'm not a HUGE germaphobe...but I don't want my son (or any of us for that matter) directly around sickies (lol!) Last year we had a close call with a car full of sick cousins waiting on us at the house (we go to dinner then someone's house)....we were late so they left. (the same cousin cultured PA in her ears and she doesn't have CF...so I'm very leary about that whole issue).

I don't know.....

Debbie Downer...LOL! HILARIOUS!

 

[Augustmom0003]

I have the same issues. Although EVERYONE KNOWS what SHOULD be done (either don't come if you're sick, or tell us and we will stay home) there's usually one or two that either "risk it" or just comes and doesn't really care (or think about it). So, I don't know. I don't want him missing out AT ALL...some of the best memories of my life are Christmas with my family...but...then again...with certain people not "playing by my rules" (LOL!!! Kidding...but it still feels like they just don't care)...then it becomes a little tough. Do we go then if anyone is sick, leave? Do we call ahead of time (which I've found doesn't really help)? I'm not a HUGE germaphobe...but I don't want my son (or any of us for that matter) directly around sickies (lol!) Last year we had a close call with a car full of sick cousins waiting on us at the house (we go to dinner then someone's house)....we were late so they left. (the same cousin cultured PA in her ears and she doesn't have CF...so I'm very leary about that whole issue).

I don't know.....

Debbie Downer...LOL! HILARIOUS!

 

[cfmomma]

My husband to foot his foot down when it came to his sister and her kids. If they are sick, they don't come over. Their excuse is "it's only allergies", even when green nastiness is pouring out of their noses. We have already decided not to allow certain people to visit this new baby until we have a definite diagnosis. There is no way anyone will be touching my newborn if there is even a remote chance of them being ill. I am pretty relaxed with my six-year old and try not to worry if he's exposed to everyday germs, he gets sick much less often than classmates. I won't know if this baby has CF until a few weeks after birth and I will claw the eyes out of someone who is more interested in "holding" the baby than the health of it!!!!

 

[cfmomma]

My husband to foot his foot down when it came to his sister and her kids. If they are sick, they don't come over. Their excuse is "it's only allergies", even when green nastiness is pouring out of their noses. We have already decided not to allow certain people to visit this new baby until we have a definite diagnosis. There is no way anyone will be touching my newborn if there is even a remote chance of them being ill. I am pretty relaxed with my six-year old and try not to worry if he's exposed to everyday germs, he gets sick much less often than classmates. I won't know if this baby has CF until a few weeks after birth and I will claw the eyes out of someone who is more interested in "holding" the baby than the health of it!!!!

 

[cfmomma]

My husband to foot his foot down when it came to his sister and her kids. If they are sick, they don't come over. Their excuse is "it's only allergies", even when green nastiness is pouring out of their noses. We have already decided not to allow certain people to visit this new baby until we have a definite diagnosis. There is no way anyone will be touching my newborn if there is even a remote chance of them being ill. I am pretty relaxed with my six-year old and try not to worry if he's exposed to everyday germs, he gets sick much less often than classmates. I won't know if this baby has CF until a few weeks after birth and I will claw the eyes out of someone who is more interested in "holding" the baby than the health of it!!!!

 

[Ratatosk]

My MIL is a retired nurse, retired nursing instructor. But when it comes to social events -- her brain seems to leave the building. She's more concerned about what "others might think", whether it's someone lighting up a cigarrette in front of her grandson or people coming to events sick. And I'm not talking a head cold or the sniffles. She'll later claim "it was just a cold" or plead ignorance, but there have been 3 incidents with different people having pneumonia --- being miserable, yet just didn't want to miss dinner.

I about had a bird at a baby shower last spring when her great-niece had bronchitis and was holding her cousins newborn. I was so worried about DS being a germy toddler, that I wouldn't even take him to visit her for the first 6 months.

 

[Ratatosk]

My MIL is a retired nurse, retired nursing instructor. But when it comes to social events -- her brain seems to leave the building. She's more concerned about what "others might think", whether it's someone lighting up a cigarrette in front of her grandson or people coming to events sick. And I'm not talking a head cold or the sniffles. She'll later claim "it was just a cold" or plead ignorance, but there have been 3 incidents with different people having pneumonia --- being miserable, yet just didn't want to miss dinner.

I about had a bird at a baby shower last spring when her great-niece had bronchitis and was holding her cousins newborn. I was so worried about DS being a germy toddler, that I wouldn't even take him to visit her for the first 6 months.