Holidays and Dealing with Family Members

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Ratatosk

Administrator
Staff member
My MIL is a retired nurse, retired nursing instructor. But when it comes to social events -- her brain seems to leave the building. She's more concerned about what "others might think", whether it's someone lighting up a cigarrette in front of her grandson or people coming to events sick. And I'm not talking a head cold or the sniffles. She'll later claim "it was just a cold" or plead ignorance, but there have been 3 incidents with different people having pneumonia --- being miserable, yet just didn't want to miss dinner.

I about had a bird at a baby shower last spring when her great-niece had bronchitis and was holding her cousins newborn. I was so worried about DS being a germy toddler, that I wouldn't even take him to visit her for the first 6 months.
 
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folione

New member
The way we more or less deal with sickos is this: if we host a gathering at our house we get to make the rules: We tell people they can't come if they're sick and have to use hand sanitizer and not smoke near the house. This has its limits, of course, since people sometimes show up saying "it's just a cold...hackhack..". When somebody else invites us over, we'll keep our distance or leave early if there seem to be too many germs flying about the place - and we take our own hand sanitizer and keep our son w/CF swabbed down as much as possible.
 
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folione

New member
The way we more or less deal with sickos is this: if we host a gathering at our house we get to make the rules: We tell people they can't come if they're sick and have to use hand sanitizer and not smoke near the house. This has its limits, of course, since people sometimes show up saying "it's just a cold...hackhack..". When somebody else invites us over, we'll keep our distance or leave early if there seem to be too many germs flying about the place - and we take our own hand sanitizer and keep our son w/CF swabbed down as much as possible.
 
F

folione

New member
The way we more or less deal with sickos is this: if we host a gathering at our house we get to make the rules: We tell people they can't come if they're sick and have to use hand sanitizer and not smoke near the house. This has its limits, of course, since people sometimes show up saying "it's just a cold...hackhack..". When somebody else invites us over, we'll keep our distance or leave early if there seem to be too many germs flying about the place - and we take our own hand sanitizer and keep our son w/CF swabbed down as much as possible.
 
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sweetwhite30

New member
I have to say what i have done this year when i mailed out turkey day invites i asked if you or your kids are sick please stay home for the courtesy of all the guests who will be atending whom wont be sick . I know it is straight forward but i am tired of my son getting sick from people and family whom do not show respect by staying home so i just said what needed saying and yes i had one family member call upset but i explained my son can not afford to be sick due to his condition and she agreed. It makes everyone feel better when it is all put out in the open instead of manifesting anger and discust inside..... blunt but honest.....

mom to isaiah 4 yr old with c.f

happy turkey day to all
 
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sweetwhite30

New member
I have to say what i have done this year when i mailed out turkey day invites i asked if you or your kids are sick please stay home for the courtesy of all the guests who will be atending whom wont be sick . I know it is straight forward but i am tired of my son getting sick from people and family whom do not show respect by staying home so i just said what needed saying and yes i had one family member call upset but i explained my son can not afford to be sick due to his condition and she agreed. It makes everyone feel better when it is all put out in the open instead of manifesting anger and discust inside..... blunt but honest.....

mom to isaiah 4 yr old with c.f

happy turkey day to all
 
S

sweetwhite30

New member
I have to say what i have done this year when i mailed out turkey day invites i asked if you or your kids are sick please stay home for the courtesy of all the guests who will be atending whom wont be sick . I know it is straight forward but i am tired of my son getting sick from people and family whom do not show respect by staying home so i just said what needed saying and yes i had one family member call upset but i explained my son can not afford to be sick due to his condition and she agreed. It makes everyone feel better when it is all put out in the open instead of manifesting anger and discust inside..... blunt but honest.....

mom to isaiah 4 yr old with c.f

happy turkey day to all
 
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Mommafirst

Guest
This is such a tough tough issue. So far our family has been pretty good, quite afraid that it will be their fault if my daughter winds up hospitalized. But so many people in our family won't get educated on the basic CF information, so of course they don't understand why we are so afraid of a "little cold".

Anyone ever consider putting a mask on your CFer during this kind of exposure? Kind of makes them stand out and not in a good way, so I'm hesitant to do so, but it would be nice if she could see all the cousins but have a barrier between them. I'm already purelling and lysoling (are those actually verbs? I suppose in the CF dictionary they are -- LOL) everywhere.
 
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Mommafirst

Guest
This is such a tough tough issue. So far our family has been pretty good, quite afraid that it will be their fault if my daughter winds up hospitalized. But so many people in our family won't get educated on the basic CF information, so of course they don't understand why we are so afraid of a "little cold".

Anyone ever consider putting a mask on your CFer during this kind of exposure? Kind of makes them stand out and not in a good way, so I'm hesitant to do so, but it would be nice if she could see all the cousins but have a barrier between them. I'm already purelling and lysoling (are those actually verbs? I suppose in the CF dictionary they are -- LOL) everywhere.
 
M

Mommafirst

Guest
This is such a tough tough issue. So far our family has been pretty good, quite afraid that it will be their fault if my daughter winds up hospitalized. But so many people in our family won't get educated on the basic CF information, so of course they don't understand why we are so afraid of a "little cold".

Anyone ever consider putting a mask on your CFer during this kind of exposure? Kind of makes them stand out and not in a good way, so I'm hesitant to do so, but it would be nice if she could see all the cousins but have a barrier between them. I'm already purelling and lysoling (are those actually verbs? I suppose in the CF dictionary they are -- LOL) everywhere.
 
R

Ratatosk

Administrator
Staff member
From day one we had the "wash your hands or use antibacterial foam" prior to holding the baby. Drilled into us all after spending 6 weeks in the nicu. Some of our friends, relatives laugh at us when they offer to let us hold their babies and we run off to wash our hands.

The ones that drive me bonkers are the ones who show up announcing they're sick, don't know what it is (or say it's a cold) and that they'll keep their distance. And a little while later they're playing with the kids, holding the babies, are feeding them, letting them eat off their plates or drink out of their glasses. Then a few days later, we'll hear from my MIL -- cousin had pneumonia or bronchitis. Or "we were so lucky the grandkids and our other son were able to visit 'cuz a few days before thanksgiving, they all had strep throat, influenza A, mono..... That one peeves me to NO end because of the prior knowledge of an illness and not disclosing it to us as parents for fear we wouldn't show up. DH and I have decided early on that we WILL leave if that happens. So now they're sneaky and hide it from us. Guess it'll take us leaving or not showing up before they take us seriously.

This past weekend I was worried sick because of my nephews nasty smokers cough and now DS has started getting a stuffy nose. I'm hoping it's just his normal tobi boogery nose...
 
R

Ratatosk

Administrator
Staff member
From day one we had the "wash your hands or use antibacterial foam" prior to holding the baby. Drilled into us all after spending 6 weeks in the nicu. Some of our friends, relatives laugh at us when they offer to let us hold their babies and we run off to wash our hands.

The ones that drive me bonkers are the ones who show up announcing they're sick, don't know what it is (or say it's a cold) and that they'll keep their distance. And a little while later they're playing with the kids, holding the babies, are feeding them, letting them eat off their plates or drink out of their glasses. Then a few days later, we'll hear from my MIL -- cousin had pneumonia or bronchitis. Or "we were so lucky the grandkids and our other son were able to visit 'cuz a few days before thanksgiving, they all had strep throat, influenza A, mono..... That one peeves me to NO end because of the prior knowledge of an illness and not disclosing it to us as parents for fear we wouldn't show up. DH and I have decided early on that we WILL leave if that happens. So now they're sneaky and hide it from us. Guess it'll take us leaving or not showing up before they take us seriously.

This past weekend I was worried sick because of my nephews nasty smokers cough and now DS has started getting a stuffy nose. I'm hoping it's just his normal tobi boogery nose...
 
R

Ratatosk

Administrator
Staff member
From day one we had the "wash your hands or use antibacterial foam" prior to holding the baby. Drilled into us all after spending 6 weeks in the nicu. Some of our friends, relatives laugh at us when they offer to let us hold their babies and we run off to wash our hands.

The ones that drive me bonkers are the ones who show up announcing they're sick, don't know what it is (or say it's a cold) and that they'll keep their distance. And a little while later they're playing with the kids, holding the babies, are feeding them, letting them eat off their plates or drink out of their glasses. Then a few days later, we'll hear from my MIL -- cousin had pneumonia or bronchitis. Or "we were so lucky the grandkids and our other son were able to visit 'cuz a few days before thanksgiving, they all had strep throat, influenza A, mono..... That one peeves me to NO end because of the prior knowledge of an illness and not disclosing it to us as parents for fear we wouldn't show up. DH and I have decided early on that we WILL leave if that happens. So now they're sneaky and hide it from us. Guess it'll take us leaving or not showing up before they take us seriously.

This past weekend I was worried sick because of my nephews nasty smokers cough and now DS has started getting a stuffy nose. I'm hoping it's just his normal tobi boogery nose...
 
M

mummisaurus

Guest
The Problem is that many family members just dont understand CF. Unfortunately the kids look healthy and cute and I think the impression is that there is a cure around the corner. When my son Bill was born December 19th and I knew right away he had it
(he was salty) all our relatives decended on our house at Christmas to pass the new baby around. I now know what mother bears feel like.
I think you have to go with your instinct ; protect your child, educate those people tell them to stay away if they are infectious.
Every time those kids get a viral infection it sets them off. You cant live in a glass bubble but do the best you can

Mummisaurus mom to Christine wcf 25 Bill would have been 21 cf
 
M

mummisaurus

Guest
The Problem is that many family members just dont understand CF. Unfortunately the kids look healthy and cute and I think the impression is that there is a cure around the corner. When my son Bill was born December 19th and I knew right away he had it
(he was salty) all our relatives decended on our house at Christmas to pass the new baby around. I now know what mother bears feel like.
I think you have to go with your instinct ; protect your child, educate those people tell them to stay away if they are infectious.
Every time those kids get a viral infection it sets them off. You cant live in a glass bubble but do the best you can

Mummisaurus mom to Christine wcf 25 Bill would have been 21 cf
 
M

mummisaurus

Guest
The Problem is that many family members just dont understand CF. Unfortunately the kids look healthy and cute and I think the impression is that there is a cure around the corner. When my son Bill was born December 19th and I knew right away he had it
(he was salty) all our relatives decended on our house at Christmas to pass the new baby around. I now know what mother bears feel like.
I think you have to go with your instinct ; protect your child, educate those people tell them to stay away if they are infectious.
Every time those kids get a viral infection it sets them off. You cant live in a glass bubble but do the best you can

Mummisaurus mom to Christine wcf 25 Bill would have been 21 cf
 
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charl72

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>mummisaurus</b></i>

The Problem is that many family members just dont understand CF. Unfortunately the kids look healthy and cute and I think the impression is that there is a cure around the corner. When my son Bill was born December 19th and I knew right away he had it

(he was salty) all our relatives decended on our house at Christmas to pass the new baby around. I now know what mother bears feel like.

I think you have to go with your instinct ; protect your child, educate those people tell them to stay away if they are infectious.

Every time those kids get a viral infection it sets them off. You cant live in a glass bubble but do the best you can



Mummisaurus mom to Christine wcf 25 Bill would have been 21 cf</end quote></div>



Yeah, I agree definitely go with your instinct. One memory I have is my own mother (ha!) simply forgetting to tell me that my aunty had a cold when she was visiting at her house. Come on - forgot. Sure, you can't live in a glass bubble, but when you can avoid situations, then avoid them. People just don't understand, but I definitely do.<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0">
 
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charl72

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>mummisaurus</b></i>

The Problem is that many family members just dont understand CF. Unfortunately the kids look healthy and cute and I think the impression is that there is a cure around the corner. When my son Bill was born December 19th and I knew right away he had it

(he was salty) all our relatives decended on our house at Christmas to pass the new baby around. I now know what mother bears feel like.

I think you have to go with your instinct ; protect your child, educate those people tell them to stay away if they are infectious.

Every time those kids get a viral infection it sets them off. You cant live in a glass bubble but do the best you can



Mummisaurus mom to Christine wcf 25 Bill would have been 21 cf</end quote></div>



Yeah, I agree definitely go with your instinct. One memory I have is my own mother (ha!) simply forgetting to tell me that my aunty had a cold when she was visiting at her house. Come on - forgot. Sure, you can't live in a glass bubble, but when you can avoid situations, then avoid them. People just don't understand, but I definitely do.<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0">
 
C

charl72

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>mummisaurus</b></i>

The Problem is that many family members just dont understand CF. Unfortunately the kids look healthy and cute and I think the impression is that there is a cure around the corner. When my son Bill was born December 19th and I knew right away he had it

(he was salty) all our relatives decended on our house at Christmas to pass the new baby around. I now know what mother bears feel like.

I think you have to go with your instinct ; protect your child, educate those people tell them to stay away if they are infectious.

Every time those kids get a viral infection it sets them off. You cant live in a glass bubble but do the best you can



Mummisaurus mom to Christine wcf 25 Bill would have been 21 cf</end quote></div>



Yeah, I agree definitely go with your instinct. One memory I have is my own mother (ha!) simply forgetting to tell me that my aunty had a cold when she was visiting at her house. Come on - forgot. Sure, you can't live in a glass bubble, but when you can avoid situations, then avoid them. People just don't understand, but I definitely do.<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0">
 
C

charl72

New member
PS my daughter was only about 2 years old at the time, so we just left! I thought there is no way we are staying. At the end of the day, you've just got to do what you feel is right and don't care about hurting anyone's feelings. At the end of the day, you're protecting your kids, who don't understand and can't speak for themselves. I felt better anyway.<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-shocked.gif" border="0">
 
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