How did you deal with the criticism

I

Irishgal

New member
Just want to ask all CF mom's out there this question. My husband & I have been thinking about starting a family for the past 2 years. CF wise, my health was always VERY stable until a year & a half ago when I had to have 3 tune-ups in a year. My PFT's are good, I have been running 20-25 miles a week for the past 10 years, etc. I did quit my job as a full time nurse manager a year & a half ago when I got sick.

Now, I am feeling so much better & gonna go back as a part time nurse. So, I am wanting to give it a few months, see how, I feel, & maybe we will start trying for kids.

My sister & brother have expressed that they do not think I can be a mom. In other words, handle my treatments & a baby. I know how hard it is to have a baby. It is a serious matter. Which is why I haven't jumped the gun in the last 2 years & just gone for it!! My husband & I really feel that it can be done. I used to take naps everyday for the past year & a half, but I no longer need to. Of course, I have my days if its raining, allergies are, bad, etc-we all do, CF or not!

My question is: How did you deal with people telling you not to have kids? At what point do you stop listening to them & start listening to yourself & what your body feels? I am afraid to start trying for a baby-what if I get sick again & feel like I did last year? OR What if I need a nap everyday again? At the same time, I feel so good right now, so is this the time to try? Or, are my siblings right?
I've asked 4 CF docs & they have all been very confidant & encouraging me to go for it. I am just so confused! When did you know it was the right time & how did you deal with family telling you not to?
 
I

Irishgal

New member
Just want to ask all CF mom's out there this question. My husband & I have been thinking about starting a family for the past 2 years. CF wise, my health was always VERY stable until a year & a half ago when I had to have 3 tune-ups in a year. My PFT's are good, I have been running 20-25 miles a week for the past 10 years, etc. I did quit my job as a full time nurse manager a year & a half ago when I got sick.

Now, I am feeling so much better & gonna go back as a part time nurse. So, I am wanting to give it a few months, see how, I feel, & maybe we will start trying for kids.

My sister & brother have expressed that they do not think I can be a mom. In other words, handle my treatments & a baby. I know how hard it is to have a baby. It is a serious matter. Which is why I haven't jumped the gun in the last 2 years & just gone for it!! My husband & I really feel that it can be done. I used to take naps everyday for the past year & a half, but I no longer need to. Of course, I have my days if its raining, allergies are, bad, etc-we all do, CF or not!

My question is: How did you deal with people telling you not to have kids? At what point do you stop listening to them & start listening to yourself & what your body feels? I am afraid to start trying for a baby-what if I get sick again & feel like I did last year? OR What if I need a nap everyday again? At the same time, I feel so good right now, so is this the time to try? Or, are my siblings right?
I've asked 4 CF docs & they have all been very confidant & encouraging me to go for it. I am just so confused! When did you know it was the right time & how did you deal with family telling you not to?
 
I

Irishgal

New member
Just want to ask all CF mom's out there this question. My husband & I have been thinking about starting a family for the past 2 years. CF wise, my health was always VERY stable until a year & a half ago when I had to have 3 tune-ups in a year. My PFT's are good, I have been running 20-25 miles a week for the past 10 years, etc. I did quit my job as a full time nurse manager a year & a half ago when I got sick.

Now, I am feeling so much better & gonna go back as a part time nurse. So, I am wanting to give it a few months, see how, I feel, & maybe we will start trying for kids.

My sister & brother have expressed that they do not think I can be a mom. In other words, handle my treatments & a baby. I know how hard it is to have a baby. It is a serious matter. Which is why I haven't jumped the gun in the last 2 years & just gone for it!! My husband & I really feel that it can be done. I used to take naps everyday for the past year & a half, but I no longer need to. Of course, I have my days if its raining, allergies are, bad, etc-we all do, CF or not!

My question is: How did you deal with people telling you not to have kids? At what point do you stop listening to them & start listening to yourself & what your body feels? I am afraid to start trying for a baby-what if I get sick again & feel like I did last year? OR What if I need a nap everyday again? At the same time, I feel so good right now, so is this the time to try? Or, are my siblings right?
I've asked 4 CF docs & they have all been very confidant & encouraging me to go for it. I am just so confused! When did you know it was the right time & how did you deal with family telling you not to?
 
I

Irishgal

New member
Just want to ask all CF mom's out there this question. My husband & I have been thinking about starting a family for the past 2 years. CF wise, my health was always VERY stable until a year & a half ago when I had to have 3 tune-ups in a year. My PFT's are good, I have been running 20-25 miles a week for the past 10 years, etc. I did quit my job as a full time nurse manager a year & a half ago when I got sick.

Now, I am feeling so much better & gonna go back as a part time nurse. So, I am wanting to give it a few months, see how, I feel, & maybe we will start trying for kids.

My sister & brother have expressed that they do not think I can be a mom. In other words, handle my treatments & a baby. I know how hard it is to have a baby. It is a serious matter. Which is why I haven't jumped the gun in the last 2 years & just gone for it!! My husband & I really feel that it can be done. I used to take naps everyday for the past year & a half, but I no longer need to. Of course, I have my days if its raining, allergies are, bad, etc-we all do, CF or not!

My question is: How did you deal with people telling you not to have kids? At what point do you stop listening to them & start listening to yourself & what your body feels? I am afraid to start trying for a baby-what if I get sick again & feel like I did last year? OR What if I need a nap everyday again? At the same time, I feel so good right now, so is this the time to try? Or, are my siblings right?
I've asked 4 CF docs & they have all been very confidant & encouraging me to go for it. I am just so confused! When did you know it was the right time & how did you deal with family telling you not to?
 
I

Irishgal

New member
Just want to ask all CF mom's out there this question. My husband & I have been thinking about starting a family for the past 2 years. CF wise, my health was always VERY stable until a year & a half ago when I had to have 3 tune-ups in a year. My PFT's are good, I have been running 20-25 miles a week for the past 10 years, etc. I did quit my job as a full time nurse manager a year & a half ago when I got sick.

Now, I am feeling so much better & gonna go back as a part time nurse. So, I am wanting to give it a few months, see how, I feel, & maybe we will start trying for kids.

My sister & brother have expressed that they do not think I can be a mom. In other words, handle my treatments & a baby. I know how hard it is to have a baby. It is a serious matter. Which is why I haven't jumped the gun in the last 2 years & just gone for it!! My husband & I really feel that it can be done. I used to take naps everyday for the past year & a half, but I no longer need to. Of course, I have my days if its raining, allergies are, bad, etc-we all do, CF or not!

My question is: How did you deal with people telling you not to have kids? At what point do you stop listening to them & start listening to yourself & what your body feels? I am afraid to start trying for a baby-what if I get sick again & feel like I did last year? OR What if I need a nap everyday again? At the same time, I feel so good right now, so is this the time to try? Or, are my siblings right?
I've asked 4 CF docs & they have all been very confidant & encouraging me to go for it. I am just so confused! When did you know it was the right time & how did you deal with family telling you not to?
 
M

Melly527

Guest
Well....I can't answer your question. But I <i>can </i>tell you that my husband and I are going through the same dilema. We both think we want a child, but at the same time, we don't have the burning desire - like we <i>have</i> to have one. We can't help but worry about what the future may hold (healthwise) and how hard things may be if we do have a child. My PFT's are also good, but my health has been all over the place the past few years, which has thrown us for a loop.

There are so many factors to take into consideration, we've both been feeling a little overwhelmed. I guess we just have to keep weighing the pros & cons...

Melanie
27 w/ CF
 
M

Melly527

Guest
Well....I can't answer your question. But I <i>can </i>tell you that my husband and I are going through the same dilema. We both think we want a child, but at the same time, we don't have the burning desire - like we <i>have</i> to have one. We can't help but worry about what the future may hold (healthwise) and how hard things may be if we do have a child. My PFT's are also good, but my health has been all over the place the past few years, which has thrown us for a loop.

There are so many factors to take into consideration, we've both been feeling a little overwhelmed. I guess we just have to keep weighing the pros & cons...

Melanie
27 w/ CF
 
M

Melly527

Guest
Well....I can't answer your question. But I <i>can </i>tell you that my husband and I are going through the same dilema. We both think we want a child, but at the same time, we don't have the burning desire - like we <i>have</i> to have one. We can't help but worry about what the future may hold (healthwise) and how hard things may be if we do have a child. My PFT's are also good, but my health has been all over the place the past few years, which has thrown us for a loop.

There are so many factors to take into consideration, we've both been feeling a little overwhelmed. I guess we just have to keep weighing the pros & cons...

Melanie
27 w/ CF
 
M

Melly527

Guest
Well....I can't answer your question. But I <i>can </i>tell you that my husband and I are going through the same dilema. We both think we want a child, but at the same time, we don't have the burning desire - like we <i>have</i> to have one. We can't help but worry about what the future may hold (healthwise) and how hard things may be if we do have a child. My PFT's are also good, but my health has been all over the place the past few years, which has thrown us for a loop.

There are so many factors to take into consideration, we've both been feeling a little overwhelmed. I guess we just have to keep weighing the pros & cons...

Melanie
27 w/ CF
 
M

Melly527

Guest
Well....I can't answer your question. But I <i>can </i>tell you that my husband and I are going through the same dilema. We both think we want a child, but at the same time, we don't have the burning desire - like we <i>have</i> to have one. We can't help but worry about what the future may hold (healthwise) and how hard things may be if we do have a child. My PFT's are also good, but my health has been all over the place the past few years, which has thrown us for a loop.

There are so many factors to take into consideration, we've both been feeling a little overwhelmed. I guess we just have to keep weighing the pros & cons...

Melanie
27 w/ CF
 
K

Keepercjr

Guest
Irisgal

We didn't get any criticism from anyone - all we got was encouragement. What factored in our decision was that we have both of our families here in town so we have access to lots of help (my parents live around the corner!). I'm sorry that people feel it is ok to express their negative opinions onto you - thats just plain rude - sorry.

There are lots of "what ifs" that will never go away. I knew I always wanted 2 kids yet the thought of caring for 2 and myself scares the crap outta me. But I can't let my fears dictate what I want in life. For a long time after I had my son I was scared to get pregnant again because I didn't want to end up in the hospital for a pregnancy complication (of which I have no history of having) and have to be away from him. It was completely irrational yet that is what I was worried about. I say just make an informed decision - have something in mind for backup if you are too sick or need to rest (for us - grandma or grandpa (both sets) will come over or my son will go to their house for a few hours). My mom comes over as much as she can and now that she's retired (official since Jan 2)she's here a lot during the day while DH is at work - cleaning, cooking, playing with my son, whatever I need. She doesn't dote on me but she identifies things that need to be done and will do them. This is especially helpful right now in the early stages of pregnancy since I have literally no energy or desire to do anything. Now that my energy is picking up more, there is less for my mom to help with and instead she plays with her grandson. And when the new baby arrives she'll probably cook and clean for us for a while till we get everything under control.

I'm sure that you will make the right decision for you.
 
K

Keepercjr

Guest
Irisgal

We didn't get any criticism from anyone - all we got was encouragement. What factored in our decision was that we have both of our families here in town so we have access to lots of help (my parents live around the corner!). I'm sorry that people feel it is ok to express their negative opinions onto you - thats just plain rude - sorry.

There are lots of "what ifs" that will never go away. I knew I always wanted 2 kids yet the thought of caring for 2 and myself scares the crap outta me. But I can't let my fears dictate what I want in life. For a long time after I had my son I was scared to get pregnant again because I didn't want to end up in the hospital for a pregnancy complication (of which I have no history of having) and have to be away from him. It was completely irrational yet that is what I was worried about. I say just make an informed decision - have something in mind for backup if you are too sick or need to rest (for us - grandma or grandpa (both sets) will come over or my son will go to their house for a few hours). My mom comes over as much as she can and now that she's retired (official since Jan 2)she's here a lot during the day while DH is at work - cleaning, cooking, playing with my son, whatever I need. She doesn't dote on me but she identifies things that need to be done and will do them. This is especially helpful right now in the early stages of pregnancy since I have literally no energy or desire to do anything. Now that my energy is picking up more, there is less for my mom to help with and instead she plays with her grandson. And when the new baby arrives she'll probably cook and clean for us for a while till we get everything under control.

I'm sure that you will make the right decision for you.
 
K

Keepercjr

Guest
Irisgal

We didn't get any criticism from anyone - all we got was encouragement. What factored in our decision was that we have both of our families here in town so we have access to lots of help (my parents live around the corner!). I'm sorry that people feel it is ok to express their negative opinions onto you - thats just plain rude - sorry.

There are lots of "what ifs" that will never go away. I knew I always wanted 2 kids yet the thought of caring for 2 and myself scares the crap outta me. But I can't let my fears dictate what I want in life. For a long time after I had my son I was scared to get pregnant again because I didn't want to end up in the hospital for a pregnancy complication (of which I have no history of having) and have to be away from him. It was completely irrational yet that is what I was worried about. I say just make an informed decision - have something in mind for backup if you are too sick or need to rest (for us - grandma or grandpa (both sets) will come over or my son will go to their house for a few hours). My mom comes over as much as she can and now that she's retired (official since Jan 2)she's here a lot during the day while DH is at work - cleaning, cooking, playing with my son, whatever I need. She doesn't dote on me but she identifies things that need to be done and will do them. This is especially helpful right now in the early stages of pregnancy since I have literally no energy or desire to do anything. Now that my energy is picking up more, there is less for my mom to help with and instead she plays with her grandson. And when the new baby arrives she'll probably cook and clean for us for a while till we get everything under control.

I'm sure that you will make the right decision for you.
 
K

Keepercjr

Guest
Irisgal

We didn't get any criticism from anyone - all we got was encouragement. What factored in our decision was that we have both of our families here in town so we have access to lots of help (my parents live around the corner!). I'm sorry that people feel it is ok to express their negative opinions onto you - thats just plain rude - sorry.

There are lots of "what ifs" that will never go away. I knew I always wanted 2 kids yet the thought of caring for 2 and myself scares the crap outta me. But I can't let my fears dictate what I want in life. For a long time after I had my son I was scared to get pregnant again because I didn't want to end up in the hospital for a pregnancy complication (of which I have no history of having) and have to be away from him. It was completely irrational yet that is what I was worried about. I say just make an informed decision - have something in mind for backup if you are too sick or need to rest (for us - grandma or grandpa (both sets) will come over or my son will go to their house for a few hours). My mom comes over as much as she can and now that she's retired (official since Jan 2)she's here a lot during the day while DH is at work - cleaning, cooking, playing with my son, whatever I need. She doesn't dote on me but she identifies things that need to be done and will do them. This is especially helpful right now in the early stages of pregnancy since I have literally no energy or desire to do anything. Now that my energy is picking up more, there is less for my mom to help with and instead she plays with her grandson. And when the new baby arrives she'll probably cook and clean for us for a while till we get everything under control.

I'm sure that you will make the right decision for you.
 
K

Keepercjr

Guest
Irisgal

We didn't get any criticism from anyone - all we got was encouragement. What factored in our decision was that we have both of our families here in town so we have access to lots of help (my parents live around the corner!). I'm sorry that people feel it is ok to express their negative opinions onto you - thats just plain rude - sorry.

There are lots of "what ifs" that will never go away. I knew I always wanted 2 kids yet the thought of caring for 2 and myself scares the crap outta me. But I can't let my fears dictate what I want in life. For a long time after I had my son I was scared to get pregnant again because I didn't want to end up in the hospital for a pregnancy complication (of which I have no history of having) and have to be away from him. It was completely irrational yet that is what I was worried about. I say just make an informed decision - have something in mind for backup if you are too sick or need to rest (for us - grandma or grandpa (both sets) will come over or my son will go to their house for a few hours). My mom comes over as much as she can and now that she's retired (official since Jan 2)she's here a lot during the day while DH is at work - cleaning, cooking, playing with my son, whatever I need. She doesn't dote on me but she identifies things that need to be done and will do them. This is especially helpful right now in the early stages of pregnancy since I have literally no energy or desire to do anything. Now that my energy is picking up more, there is less for my mom to help with and instead she plays with her grandson. And when the new baby arrives she'll probably cook and clean for us for a while till we get everything under control.

I'm sure that you will make the right decision for you.
 
J

JazzysMom

New member
When I told my Mom that I was pregnant, she had one of my feet in the grave & the other on the banana peel. She also had my husband leaving me & her raising my kid......

We didnt talk thru most of my pregnancy, she wasnt there for my c section & my daughter was one month old before I finally broke down & brought her over.

I had my husband (god bless him & his ability to not give a flying f--k what others thing) and my sisters. All my family (except Mom) were behind me once they heard what my CF doctor had to say.

Its difficult, but as long as you & your husband are on the same page that is the most important....then what is the doctors thought? Family should be involved whether you are healthy or not IMHO, but sadly thats not always true. I am fortunate to have sisters who adore Jazmine & my Mom has come around.

I still take naps. Maybe not every day, but Jazz takes them with me if she is home. She always has. Its part of our "bonding". My hubby takes naps too. WE LOVE NAPS LOL~

I went thru what you are going thru when the ?? about having another child .... we chose not to because <b>my husband & I</b> felt it just wasnt right. We dismissed input my family & just went with the doctors thoughts medically & our thoughts mentally/emotionally/financially etc.

Good Luck!

HUGS
 
J

JazzysMom

New member
When I told my Mom that I was pregnant, she had one of my feet in the grave & the other on the banana peel. She also had my husband leaving me & her raising my kid......

We didnt talk thru most of my pregnancy, she wasnt there for my c section & my daughter was one month old before I finally broke down & brought her over.

I had my husband (god bless him & his ability to not give a flying f--k what others thing) and my sisters. All my family (except Mom) were behind me once they heard what my CF doctor had to say.

Its difficult, but as long as you & your husband are on the same page that is the most important....then what is the doctors thought? Family should be involved whether you are healthy or not IMHO, but sadly thats not always true. I am fortunate to have sisters who adore Jazmine & my Mom has come around.

I still take naps. Maybe not every day, but Jazz takes them with me if she is home. She always has. Its part of our "bonding". My hubby takes naps too. WE LOVE NAPS LOL~

I went thru what you are going thru when the ?? about having another child .... we chose not to because <b>my husband & I</b> felt it just wasnt right. We dismissed input my family & just went with the doctors thoughts medically & our thoughts mentally/emotionally/financially etc.

Good Luck!

HUGS
 
J

JazzysMom

New member
When I told my Mom that I was pregnant, she had one of my feet in the grave & the other on the banana peel. She also had my husband leaving me & her raising my kid......

We didnt talk thru most of my pregnancy, she wasnt there for my c section & my daughter was one month old before I finally broke down & brought her over.

I had my husband (god bless him & his ability to not give a flying f--k what others thing) and my sisters. All my family (except Mom) were behind me once they heard what my CF doctor had to say.

Its difficult, but as long as you & your husband are on the same page that is the most important....then what is the doctors thought? Family should be involved whether you are healthy or not IMHO, but sadly thats not always true. I am fortunate to have sisters who adore Jazmine & my Mom has come around.

I still take naps. Maybe not every day, but Jazz takes them with me if she is home. She always has. Its part of our "bonding". My hubby takes naps too. WE LOVE NAPS LOL~

I went thru what you are going thru when the ?? about having another child .... we chose not to because <b>my husband & I</b> felt it just wasnt right. We dismissed input my family & just went with the doctors thoughts medically & our thoughts mentally/emotionally/financially etc.

Good Luck!

HUGS
 
J

JazzysMom

New member
When I told my Mom that I was pregnant, she had one of my feet in the grave & the other on the banana peel. She also had my husband leaving me & her raising my kid......

We didnt talk thru most of my pregnancy, she wasnt there for my c section & my daughter was one month old before I finally broke down & brought her over.

I had my husband (god bless him & his ability to not give a flying f--k what others thing) and my sisters. All my family (except Mom) were behind me once they heard what my CF doctor had to say.

Its difficult, but as long as you & your husband are on the same page that is the most important....then what is the doctors thought? Family should be involved whether you are healthy or not IMHO, but sadly thats not always true. I am fortunate to have sisters who adore Jazmine & my Mom has come around.

I still take naps. Maybe not every day, but Jazz takes them with me if she is home. She always has. Its part of our "bonding". My hubby takes naps too. WE LOVE NAPS LOL~

I went thru what you are going thru when the ?? about having another child .... we chose not to because <b>my husband & I</b> felt it just wasnt right. We dismissed input my family & just went with the doctors thoughts medically & our thoughts mentally/emotionally/financially etc.

Good Luck!

HUGS
 
J

JazzysMom

New member
When I told my Mom that I was pregnant, she had one of my feet in the grave & the other on the banana peel. She also had my husband leaving me & her raising my kid......

We didnt talk thru most of my pregnancy, she wasnt there for my c section & my daughter was one month old before I finally broke down & brought her over.

I had my husband (god bless him & his ability to not give a flying f--k what others thing) and my sisters. All my family (except Mom) were behind me once they heard what my CF doctor had to say.

Its difficult, but as long as you & your husband are on the same page that is the most important....then what is the doctors thought? Family should be involved whether you are healthy or not IMHO, but sadly thats not always true. I am fortunate to have sisters who adore Jazmine & my Mom has come around.

I still take naps. Maybe not every day, but Jazz takes them with me if she is home. She always has. Its part of our "bonding". My hubby takes naps too. WE LOVE NAPS LOL~

I went thru what you are going thru when the ?? about having another child .... we chose not to because <b>my husband & I</b> felt it just wasnt right. We dismissed input my family & just went with the doctors thoughts medically & our thoughts mentally/emotionally/financially etc.

Good Luck!

HUGS
 
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