How do you deal with Anger

A

anonymous

New member
My answer is almost identical to MyNewfy in that I was angry and used to turn it back on myself and try to self destruct - i too thought i was gonna die so i needed to a) numb the pain and b) enjoy what little life I felt i had left so I drank too much, smoked and took loads of substances I should never have touched. I also was a real brat to my partners, all 7 of the long term relationships i'd had were with good men who i basically drove away with my attitude and angry outbursts - i demanded perfection from them and blamed them for my unhappiness. One day it dawned on me how damned arrogant i was being and i realised that i needed to get my act together, stop feeling sorry for myself and get over my negativity. I too went into therapy once a week for two years before I felt I'd beaten my demons. I'm proud to say i am now a very happy, contented and empathetic person, although every now and again my 'arrogant' attitude sneaks back in, but in general i'm a much less angry person, i now rarely if ever have outbursts, i've trained my mind to think more rationally. Unfortunately not ALL of my bad habits have disappeared.....there is one i can't seem to kick but i'm working on it. I also take anti-depressants which really helps me to stay emotionally stable. I think some anger is to be expected for all of us, we've been dealt a rough hand and it's natural to want to blame somebody somewhere......but an angry, destructive or negative attitude is only going to cause additional health problems which is the last thing we want - i now try to remain calm and stress free and my body is definitely thanking me for it!!! Best of luck!

Kat (37 with CF, NZ)
 
A

anonymous

New member
My answer is almost identical to MyNewfy in that I was angry and used to turn it back on myself and try to self destruct - i too thought i was gonna die so i needed to a) numb the pain and b) enjoy what little life I felt i had left so I drank too much, smoked and took loads of substances I should never have touched. I also was a real brat to my partners, all 7 of the long term relationships i'd had were with good men who i basically drove away with my attitude and angry outbursts - i demanded perfection from them and blamed them for my unhappiness. One day it dawned on me how damned arrogant i was being and i realised that i needed to get my act together, stop feeling sorry for myself and get over my negativity. I too went into therapy once a week for two years before I felt I'd beaten my demons. I'm proud to say i am now a very happy, contented and empathetic person, although every now and again my 'arrogant' attitude sneaks back in, but in general i'm a much less angry person, i now rarely if ever have outbursts, i've trained my mind to think more rationally. Unfortunately not ALL of my bad habits have disappeared.....there is one i can't seem to kick but i'm working on it. I also take anti-depressants which really helps me to stay emotionally stable. I think some anger is to be expected for all of us, we've been dealt a rough hand and it's natural to want to blame somebody somewhere......but an angry, destructive or negative attitude is only going to cause additional health problems which is the last thing we want - i now try to remain calm and stress free and my body is definitely thanking me for it!!! Best of luck!

Kat (37 with CF, NZ)
 
A

anonymous

New member
What emotion do you think drives your anger? IS it worry, fear, self blame, critical folks or self criticism, others criticising you, people who are verbally abusive and people who are negative in general. I think I experienced all of these but the biggest one that hurts me is not forgiving myself and others as easily as I could. I have learned to forgive and let go and oh what a relief it is.

From what I gather from all these reply's many of us have learned invaluable lessons and have come a long way.

Feel free to contribute more
Thanks
Risa
 
A

anonymous

New member
What emotion do you think drives your anger? IS it worry, fear, self blame, critical folks or self criticism, others criticising you, people who are verbally abusive and people who are negative in general. I think I experienced all of these but the biggest one that hurts me is not forgiving myself and others as easily as I could. I have learned to forgive and let go and oh what a relief it is.

From what I gather from all these reply's many of us have learned invaluable lessons and have come a long way.

Feel free to contribute more
Thanks
Risa
 
A

anonymous

New member
Deep breaths, bubble baths, sad movies, and cups of hot tea, followed by long prayers.

Seriously, that's about it. It doesn't always work. Then I have to get up and realize I have to do the work myself.

Christian
 
A

anonymous

New member
Deep breaths, bubble baths, sad movies, and cups of hot tea, followed by long prayers.

Seriously, that's about it. It doesn't always work. Then I have to get up and realize I have to do the work myself.

Christian
 
F

Faust

New member
<blockquote>Quote<br><hr><i>Originally posted by: <b>Anonymous</b></i><br>What emotion do you think drives your anger? IS it worry, fear, self blame, critical folks or self criticism, others criticising you, people who are verbally abusive and people who are negative in general. I think I experienced all of these but the biggest one that hurts me is not forgiving myself and others as easily as I could. I have learned to forgive and let go and oh what a relief it is.



From what I gather from all these reply's many of us have learned invaluable lessons and have come a long way.



Feel free to contribute more

Thanks

Risa<hr></blockquote>


Aside from extremely stupid people, and people who abuse things that are defenseless, the only other thing that really makes me angry is how our society treats those of us in the gray area of CF, and basically sequestors us to holes where it's hard to get out of. If you read my original rant asking for advice, that's what i'm talking about. It's a good thing i'm not a psycho/serial killer and don't have it in me, I would have probably whacked a ton of people by now due to my frustrations in general.
 
F

Faust

New member
<blockquote>Quote<br><hr><i>Originally posted by: <b>Anonymous</b></i><br>What emotion do you think drives your anger? IS it worry, fear, self blame, critical folks or self criticism, others criticising you, people who are verbally abusive and people who are negative in general. I think I experienced all of these but the biggest one that hurts me is not forgiving myself and others as easily as I could. I have learned to forgive and let go and oh what a relief it is.



From what I gather from all these reply's many of us have learned invaluable lessons and have come a long way.



Feel free to contribute more

Thanks

Risa<hr></blockquote>


Aside from extremely stupid people, and people who abuse things that are defenseless, the only other thing that really makes me angry is how our society treats those of us in the gray area of CF, and basically sequestors us to holes where it's hard to get out of. If you read my original rant asking for advice, that's what i'm talking about. It's a good thing i'm not a psycho/serial killer and don't have it in me, I would have probably whacked a ton of people by now due to my frustrations in general.
 
A

Allie

New member
" Have you ever noticed that when one is angry, there is always something else there too? Disgust, pain, even amusement? It is not a very pure emotion." - Rene Steinke

That was one of the first things I thought of when you asked about why you get angry. For me, I get angry at everyone at some point. But for different reasons, not all of them terribly mature. Sadness, disappointment, jealousy, hurt, are the ones that usually make me mad.

As to how I deal with, usually I scream at someone who will lsiten haha. I'm really not very good at dealing with those sorts of strong emotions, I kind of suck at it. I usually bottle it up until I go insane. Sometimes if I write it down in helps a lot.
 
A

Allie

New member
" Have you ever noticed that when one is angry, there is always something else there too? Disgust, pain, even amusement? It is not a very pure emotion." - Rene Steinke

That was one of the first things I thought of when you asked about why you get angry. For me, I get angry at everyone at some point. But for different reasons, not all of them terribly mature. Sadness, disappointment, jealousy, hurt, are the ones that usually make me mad.

As to how I deal with, usually I scream at someone who will lsiten haha. I'm really not very good at dealing with those sorts of strong emotions, I kind of suck at it. I usually bottle it up until I go insane. Sometimes if I write it down in helps a lot.
 
E

EnergyGal

New member
Thank you for all those of you who are writing about your feelings that trigger your Anger. Thank you Eileen for your very kind comments about the articles that I wrote years ago. I am not writing a book but perhaps in the future I will write a follow up to my transplant story for my website transplantbuddies.org I am a procrastinator at times but eventually get it all done.

Yes I believe there are different stages of anger and the last one would be gaining control and focusing our anger in a constructive way. When I exercise beyond forty five minutes anything that was bothering me turns to dust and I can longer even think about what was bothering me. I think it is wonderful how we can let go of the crazy things that disturb us.

I experienced anger after my transplant when I was on a lot of the pain killers. Once I was taken off of the meds I was back to normal. I do remember feeling angry and realize that the anger I had worked against me until I fought against the anger and became positively driven.

My best strategy was being nice to everyone who came in to take care of me even if I did not like them. When someone appeared nasty I became super nice and I ended up liking them and they felt the same way about me. i did not tell them my trick. Fake it to you make it.

Thanks
Risa
 
E

EnergyGal

New member
Thank you for all those of you who are writing about your feelings that trigger your Anger. Thank you Eileen for your very kind comments about the articles that I wrote years ago. I am not writing a book but perhaps in the future I will write a follow up to my transplant story for my website transplantbuddies.org I am a procrastinator at times but eventually get it all done.

Yes I believe there are different stages of anger and the last one would be gaining control and focusing our anger in a constructive way. When I exercise beyond forty five minutes anything that was bothering me turns to dust and I can longer even think about what was bothering me. I think it is wonderful how we can let go of the crazy things that disturb us.

I experienced anger after my transplant when I was on a lot of the pain killers. Once I was taken off of the meds I was back to normal. I do remember feeling angry and realize that the anger I had worked against me until I fought against the anger and became positively driven.

My best strategy was being nice to everyone who came in to take care of me even if I did not like them. When someone appeared nasty I became super nice and I ended up liking them and they felt the same way about me. i did not tell them my trick. Fake it to you make it.

Thanks
Risa
 
B

Beccad5498

New member
My husband was the CF, double lung, single lung, and was preparing for his kidney transplant to take place a week prior to his death. His rule of thumb was to never be angry as all it did was upset youself and the ones that loved you. If frustration is an issue, he would converse with both of his best friends and vent about issues that concerned him. He also looked to the bible for reasons for his issues. If you don't want to talk to someone close to you - call you transplant team, your physc team, anyone who will listen - heck call your pastor. If you really want to vent and that doesn't work for you email me and I will talk with you about the pain & stages of fear that you are going through. I'm am only the survior of a very special person who took every day as a gift and always said that this was the challegne that God had intended for him.
You will find you path and what works for you. Take the radio in the bathroom, play it loud, sing loud and enjoy a relaxing bath or shower.
 
B

Beccad5498

New member
My husband was the CF, double lung, single lung, and was preparing for his kidney transplant to take place a week prior to his death. His rule of thumb was to never be angry as all it did was upset youself and the ones that loved you. If frustration is an issue, he would converse with both of his best friends and vent about issues that concerned him. He also looked to the bible for reasons for his issues. If you don't want to talk to someone close to you - call you transplant team, your physc team, anyone who will listen - heck call your pastor. If you really want to vent and that doesn't work for you email me and I will talk with you about the pain & stages of fear that you are going through. I'm am only the survior of a very special person who took every day as a gift and always said that this was the challegne that God had intended for him.
You will find you path and what works for you. Take the radio in the bathroom, play it loud, sing loud and enjoy a relaxing bath or shower.
 
A

anonymous

New member
Hi Becca

Thank you for sharing yourself and your Husband. I do not believe we have chatted before. I would be interested in learning about your Husband. If you have a story that you wrote or he wrote I would love to read it. You are very proud of his and your accomplishments together. What state do you live in? I live in Florida

God Bless All
Risa
 
A

anonymous

New member
Hi Becca

Thank you for sharing yourself and your Husband. I do not believe we have chatted before. I would be interested in learning about your Husband. If you have a story that you wrote or he wrote I would love to read it. You are very proud of his and your accomplishments together. What state do you live in? I live in Florida

God Bless All
Risa
 
J

JBUCCA

New member
for me anger, depression, anxiety, panic attacks all came at once, i seen a shrenk everything, but my problem was i was am still scared of the outcome of my cf... when will i die. everytime i get sick i go into all the same modes, for me effexor and xanax do the trick!!!!
 
J

JBUCCA

New member
for me anger, depression, anxiety, panic attacks all came at once, i seen a shrenk everything, but my problem was i was am still scared of the outcome of my cf... when will i die. everytime i get sick i go into all the same modes, for me effexor and xanax do the trick!!!!
 
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