If you don't mind me asking, what kind of pills were you trying to pick up?
And when you say you've run out of pills that help you escape that don't negatively affect your health, are you talking about psychological escape or escape from costs and hassle related to paying for medications out of your own pocket? There are a few different ways to interpret what you said.
As far as having to pay for medications, apply for state benefits like medicaid. I have medicaid and I don't have to pay hardly anything.
If you're looking for a psychological escape that isn't harmful to your health there aren't many options. Sure, there are a whole lot of chemicals that will provide temporary psychological escape, but not without the severe risk of dependency whether it be physiological or psychological. People with chronic conditions tend to unconsciously seek out these types of drugs and can very easily become dependent. Happened to me, happened to my sister and she paid the ultimate price for it. Of course there is legal, government-regulated pharmacological escape which come in the form of alcoholic beverages. And there are anti-depressants (SSRIs), anti-anxiety (benzodiazepines), anti-psychotic medicines that might take the edge off and give you the ability to focus on other things besides the negatives in your life (that or dumb you down to the point where you can't focus on ANYTHING). I have taken Zoloft for almost 2 years but I wish I never started. It has absolutely zero effectiveness as far as being an 'anti-depressant,' at least for me. The only affect it has on me is that when I stop taking it I go into a seriously unpleasant and intense withdrawal. Pharmaceutical ball and chain. For me, harder to kick than opiates because of the withdrawal's longevity.
Anyway, the least harmful class of drugs is probably opiates. They're metabolically benign in most people (unless you are using a non-phenanthrene or fully synthetic opiate like meperidine or fentanyl). The human body makes morphine endogenously and knows exactly what to do with it. But as benign as they are they carry a huge risk of psychological and physiological dependence. Psychological dependence persists, often for a person's entire life, even after physiological dependence goes away. Up until the late 1950s when tricyclic antidepressants were invented opiates were routinely prescribed for depression because they WORK. I think most anyone who has been in the hospital in some kind of pain and given morphine or hydromorphone will attest to the pain relieving, both psychological and physical, effects of opiates.
Sorry for a long rant about opiates... I recently broke my back and was prescribed Oxycontin and Oxy IR. It was the best few weeks I can remember. I had energy, my lungs felt better, my back didn't hurt, I wasn't depressed. Morphine was called "God's Own Medicine" for a reason.
But, hah, all that said... good luck getting a doctor to prescribe it
