How do you handle people's comments?

[MargaritaChic]

Today is Father's Day, so we went to my dad's house for a small get togehter. My stepmom's mother and grandmother came too because they have not seen Emma since she was first born and they want to see her.

My stepmom's mother knows that Emma has CF. I am not sure what she knows about CF, but I am not close to her and I don't feel comfortable sharing alot of information with her.


Well she made some comments today that made me upset/uncomfortable and I did not know how to handle it.

I asked her to put some sanitizer on before she held Emma. I could see she was not happy about me asking her this, so I explained briefly to her that we need to protect Emma from Germs and bacteria. She said:

"Just wait until she is putting dirt in her mouth. Sanitizing your hands will not seem so important then."

"You can tell this is her first one, they are always like this with the first one, once the 2nd one comes along they calm down."

"If you don't expose her to germs, how is she going to build up immunity?"

And some other things I can't remember now but that seemed really inappropriate to me. She also went on and on about how no one ever carried a diaper bag when she had children. "Look at all the stuff you have in that bag, I never carried any kind of special bag" ....blah blah blah.

I should say that this is the same woman that cooks for her dog and carries a 'special bag' full of stuff for her dog!

So maybe I am just being sensitive. Or maybe I should just do what my husband says and "not care what other people think."

Grrrrrrrrr

 

[MargaritaChic]

Today is Father's Day, so we went to my dad's house for a small get togehter. My stepmom's mother and grandmother came too because they have not seen Emma since she was first born and they want to see her.

My stepmom's mother knows that Emma has CF. I am not sure what she knows about CF, but I am not close to her and I don't feel comfortable sharing alot of information with her.


Well she made some comments today that made me upset/uncomfortable and I did not know how to handle it.

I asked her to put some sanitizer on before she held Emma. I could see she was not happy about me asking her this, so I explained briefly to her that we need to protect Emma from Germs and bacteria. She said:

"Just wait until she is putting dirt in her mouth. Sanitizing your hands will not seem so important then."

"You can tell this is her first one, they are always like this with the first one, once the 2nd one comes along they calm down."

"If you don't expose her to germs, how is she going to build up immunity?"

And some other things I can't remember now but that seemed really inappropriate to me. She also went on and on about how no one ever carried a diaper bag when she had children. "Look at all the stuff you have in that bag, I never carried any kind of special bag" ....blah blah blah.

I should say that this is the same woman that cooks for her dog and carries a 'special bag' full of stuff for her dog!

So maybe I am just being sensitive. Or maybe I should just do what my husband says and "not care what other people think."

Grrrrrrrrr

 

[MargaritaChic]

Today is Father's Day, so we went to my dad's house for a small get togehter. My stepmom's mother and grandmother came too because they have not seen Emma since she was first born and they want to see her.

My stepmom's mother knows that Emma has CF. I am not sure what she knows about CF, but I am not close to her and I don't feel comfortable sharing alot of information with her.


Well she made some comments today that made me upset/uncomfortable and I did not know how to handle it.

I asked her to put some sanitizer on before she held Emma. I could see she was not happy about me asking her this, so I explained briefly to her that we need to protect Emma from Germs and bacteria. She said:

"Just wait until she is putting dirt in her mouth. Sanitizing your hands will not seem so important then."

"You can tell this is her first one, they are always like this with the first one, once the 2nd one comes along they calm down."

"If you don't expose her to germs, how is she going to build up immunity?"

And some other things I can't remember now but that seemed really inappropriate to me. She also went on and on about how no one ever carried a diaper bag when she had children. "Look at all the stuff you have in that bag, I never carried any kind of special bag" ....blah blah blah.

I should say that this is the same woman that cooks for her dog and carries a 'special bag' full of stuff for her dog!

So maybe I am just being sensitive. Or maybe I should just do what my husband says and "not care what other people think."

Grrrrrrrrr

 

[MargaritaChic]

Today is Father's Day, so we went to my dad's house for a small get togehter. My stepmom's mother and grandmother came too because they have not seen Emma since she was first born and they want to see her.

My stepmom's mother knows that Emma has CF. I am not sure what she knows about CF, but I am not close to her and I don't feel comfortable sharing alot of information with her.


Well she made some comments today that made me upset/uncomfortable and I did not know how to handle it.

I asked her to put some sanitizer on before she held Emma. I could see she was not happy about me asking her this, so I explained briefly to her that we need to protect Emma from Germs and bacteria. She said:

"Just wait until she is putting dirt in her mouth. Sanitizing your hands will not seem so important then."

"You can tell this is her first one, they are always like this with the first one, once the 2nd one comes along they calm down."

"If you don't expose her to germs, how is she going to build up immunity?"

And some other things I can't remember now but that seemed really inappropriate to me. She also went on and on about how no one ever carried a diaper bag when she had children. "Look at all the stuff you have in that bag, I never carried any kind of special bag" ....blah blah blah.

I should say that this is the same woman that cooks for her dog and carries a 'special bag' full of stuff for her dog!

So maybe I am just being sensitive. Or maybe I should just do what my husband says and "not care what other people think."

Grrrrrrrrr

 

[MargaritaChic]

Today is Father's Day, so we went to my dad's house for a small get togehter. My stepmom's mother and grandmother came too because they have not seen Emma since she was first born and they want to see her.
<br />
<br />My stepmom's mother knows that Emma has CF. I am not sure what she knows about CF, but I am not close to her and I don't feel comfortable sharing alot of information with her.
<br />
<br />
<br />Well she made some comments today that made me upset/uncomfortable and I did not know how to handle it.
<br />
<br />I asked her to put some sanitizer on before she held Emma. I could see she was not happy about me asking her this, so I explained briefly to her that we need to protect Emma from Germs and bacteria. She said:
<br />
<br />"Just wait until she is putting dirt in her mouth. Sanitizing your hands will not seem so important then."
<br />
<br />"You can tell this is her first one, they are always like this with the first one, once the 2nd one comes along they calm down."
<br />
<br />"If you don't expose her to germs, how is she going to build up immunity?"
<br />
<br />And some other things I can't remember now but that seemed really inappropriate to me. She also went on and on about how no one ever carried a diaper bag when she had children. "Look at all the stuff you have in that bag, I never carried any kind of special bag" ....blah blah blah.
<br />
<br />I should say that this is the same woman that cooks for her dog and carries a 'special bag' full of stuff for her dog!
<br />
<br />So maybe I am just being sensitive. Or maybe I should just do what my husband says and "not care what other people think."
<br />
<br />Grrrrrrrrr
<br />
<br />

 

[pjspiegle]

Its hard sometimes. After 14 1/2 years you would think that I would be use to people being so harsh in their commemts and judgements, but I'm not. I do try to consider the source and then realize that they have no idea what they are talking about it, it is so easy to judge and say what you would and wouldn't do when you aren't the one dealing with whatever issue. You have to realize that some people are just ignorant and try and let it go. I usually come here to tell whatever is going on and almost always find comfort from those who do know and understand because they are in my shoes with me.

If it makes you feel better, she was wrong. I was very careful with my first one, who does not have CF, and almost always took everything with me, my husband would tell you Including the Kitchen Sink. I did relax a little with the second one, who also does not have CF, but not as much as one would think. Then Nathan came along, the 3rd one with CF, and I became more annal then I was with even my first not to mention the 2nd. Then the 4th came and I was still as annal even though she did not have CF.

I really cannot emphasize enough to new moms, especially the ones with CFers, that you have to ignore everyones judgements and follow your instincts. God gave moms instincts for a reason and it is very rare that those instincts will lead you astray. I am sure that you will relax a little more as your child grows and you learn your child and what you can relax on and be ok and what you cannot. Its your child, your responsibility, and you have to do what you think is in your childs best interest despite what "well or not" intended people say. Every mother of a baby should be requiring people to wash their hands before touching or holding a baby regardless of whether the child is a normal healthy baby or a baby with a disease.

It is very hard not to be over sensitive when you are a mother of a CFer because it seems that we get judged very harshly more often than any other mother for some reason. Just know you aren't alone.

Patty

 

[pjspiegle]

Its hard sometimes. After 14 1/2 years you would think that I would be use to people being so harsh in their commemts and judgements, but I'm not. I do try to consider the source and then realize that they have no idea what they are talking about it, it is so easy to judge and say what you would and wouldn't do when you aren't the one dealing with whatever issue. You have to realize that some people are just ignorant and try and let it go. I usually come here to tell whatever is going on and almost always find comfort from those who do know and understand because they are in my shoes with me.

If it makes you feel better, she was wrong. I was very careful with my first one, who does not have CF, and almost always took everything with me, my husband would tell you Including the Kitchen Sink. I did relax a little with the second one, who also does not have CF, but not as much as one would think. Then Nathan came along, the 3rd one with CF, and I became more annal then I was with even my first not to mention the 2nd. Then the 4th came and I was still as annal even though she did not have CF.

I really cannot emphasize enough to new moms, especially the ones with CFers, that you have to ignore everyones judgements and follow your instincts. God gave moms instincts for a reason and it is very rare that those instincts will lead you astray. I am sure that you will relax a little more as your child grows and you learn your child and what you can relax on and be ok and what you cannot. Its your child, your responsibility, and you have to do what you think is in your childs best interest despite what "well or not" intended people say. Every mother of a baby should be requiring people to wash their hands before touching or holding a baby regardless of whether the child is a normal healthy baby or a baby with a disease.

It is very hard not to be over sensitive when you are a mother of a CFer because it seems that we get judged very harshly more often than any other mother for some reason. Just know you aren't alone.

Patty

 

[pjspiegle]

Its hard sometimes. After 14 1/2 years you would think that I would be use to people being so harsh in their commemts and judgements, but I'm not. I do try to consider the source and then realize that they have no idea what they are talking about it, it is so easy to judge and say what you would and wouldn't do when you aren't the one dealing with whatever issue. You have to realize that some people are just ignorant and try and let it go. I usually come here to tell whatever is going on and almost always find comfort from those who do know and understand because they are in my shoes with me.

If it makes you feel better, she was wrong. I was very careful with my first one, who does not have CF, and almost always took everything with me, my husband would tell you Including the Kitchen Sink. I did relax a little with the second one, who also does not have CF, but not as much as one would think. Then Nathan came along, the 3rd one with CF, and I became more annal then I was with even my first not to mention the 2nd. Then the 4th came and I was still as annal even though she did not have CF.

I really cannot emphasize enough to new moms, especially the ones with CFers, that you have to ignore everyones judgements and follow your instincts. God gave moms instincts for a reason and it is very rare that those instincts will lead you astray. I am sure that you will relax a little more as your child grows and you learn your child and what you can relax on and be ok and what you cannot. Its your child, your responsibility, and you have to do what you think is in your childs best interest despite what "well or not" intended people say. Every mother of a baby should be requiring people to wash their hands before touching or holding a baby regardless of whether the child is a normal healthy baby or a baby with a disease.

It is very hard not to be over sensitive when you are a mother of a CFer because it seems that we get judged very harshly more often than any other mother for some reason. Just know you aren't alone.

Patty

 

[pjspiegle]

Its hard sometimes. After 14 1/2 years you would think that I would be use to people being so harsh in their commemts and judgements, but I'm not. I do try to consider the source and then realize that they have no idea what they are talking about it, it is so easy to judge and say what you would and wouldn't do when you aren't the one dealing with whatever issue. You have to realize that some people are just ignorant and try and let it go. I usually come here to tell whatever is going on and almost always find comfort from those who do know and understand because they are in my shoes with me.

If it makes you feel better, she was wrong. I was very careful with my first one, who does not have CF, and almost always took everything with me, my husband would tell you Including the Kitchen Sink. I did relax a little with the second one, who also does not have CF, but not as much as one would think. Then Nathan came along, the 3rd one with CF, and I became more annal then I was with even my first not to mention the 2nd. Then the 4th came and I was still as annal even though she did not have CF.

I really cannot emphasize enough to new moms, especially the ones with CFers, that you have to ignore everyones judgements and follow your instincts. God gave moms instincts for a reason and it is very rare that those instincts will lead you astray. I am sure that you will relax a little more as your child grows and you learn your child and what you can relax on and be ok and what you cannot. Its your child, your responsibility, and you have to do what you think is in your childs best interest despite what "well or not" intended people say. Every mother of a baby should be requiring people to wash their hands before touching or holding a baby regardless of whether the child is a normal healthy baby or a baby with a disease.

It is very hard not to be over sensitive when you are a mother of a CFer because it seems that we get judged very harshly more often than any other mother for some reason. Just know you aren't alone.

Patty

 

[pjspiegle]

Its hard sometimes. After 14 1/2 years you would think that I would be use to people being so harsh in their commemts and judgements, but I'm not. I do try to consider the source and then realize that they have no idea what they are talking about it, it is so easy to judge and say what you would and wouldn't do when you aren't the one dealing with whatever issue. You have to realize that some people are just ignorant and try and let it go. I usually come here to tell whatever is going on and almost always find comfort from those who do know and understand because they are in my shoes with me.
<br />
<br />If it makes you feel better, she was wrong. I was very careful with my first one, who does not have CF, and almost always took everything with me, my husband would tell you Including the Kitchen Sink. I did relax a little with the second one, who also does not have CF, but not as much as one would think. Then Nathan came along, the 3rd one with CF, and I became more annal then I was with even my first not to mention the 2nd. Then the 4th came and I was still as annal even though she did not have CF.
<br />
<br />I really cannot emphasize enough to new moms, especially the ones with CFers, that you have to ignore everyones judgements and follow your instincts. God gave moms instincts for a reason and it is very rare that those instincts will lead you astray. I am sure that you will relax a little more as your child grows and you learn your child and what you can relax on and be ok and what you cannot. Its your child, your responsibility, and you have to do what you think is in your childs best interest despite what "well or not" intended people say. Every mother of a baby should be requiring people to wash their hands before touching or holding a baby regardless of whether the child is a normal healthy baby or a baby with a disease.
<br />
<br />It is very hard not to be over sensitive when you are a mother of a CFer because it seems that we get judged very harshly more often than any other mother for some reason. Just know you aren't alone.
<br />
<br />Patty

 

[thefrogprincess]

I have zero patience for this type of thing. If I was in your shoes I probably would have gotten snippy and said something like "my kid, my rules".

But for a more diplomatic approach you could always say "That may be true for other kids, but a cold could very easily turn to pneumonia for her, so we need to be extra careful." If she still has a problem with using sanatizer then she doesn't get to hold her. Period.

 

[thefrogprincess]

I have zero patience for this type of thing. If I was in your shoes I probably would have gotten snippy and said something like "my kid, my rules".

But for a more diplomatic approach you could always say "That may be true for other kids, but a cold could very easily turn to pneumonia for her, so we need to be extra careful." If she still has a problem with using sanatizer then she doesn't get to hold her. Period.

 

[thefrogprincess]

I have zero patience for this type of thing. If I was in your shoes I probably would have gotten snippy and said something like "my kid, my rules".

But for a more diplomatic approach you could always say "That may be true for other kids, but a cold could very easily turn to pneumonia for her, so we need to be extra careful." If she still has a problem with using sanatizer then she doesn't get to hold her. Period.

 

[thefrogprincess]

I have zero patience for this type of thing. If I was in your shoes I probably would have gotten snippy and said something like "my kid, my rules".

But for a more diplomatic approach you could always say "That may be true for other kids, but a cold could very easily turn to pneumonia for her, so we need to be extra careful." If she still has a problem with using sanatizer then she doesn't get to hold her. Period.

 

[thefrogprincess]

I have zero patience for this type of thing. If I was in your shoes I probably would have gotten snippy and said something like "my kid, my rules".
<br />
<br />But for a more diplomatic approach you could always say "That may be true for other kids, but a cold could very easily turn to pneumonia for her, so we need to be extra careful." If she still has a problem with using sanatizer then she doesn't get to hold her. Period.

 

[Emily65Roses]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>MargaritaChic</b></i>
"Just wait until she is putting dirt in her mouth. Sanitizing your hands will not seem so important then."

"You can tell this is her first one, they are always like this with the first one, once the 2nd one comes along they calm down."

"If you don't expose her to germs, how is she going to build up immunity?"
</end quote></div>

I actually agree with this (especially the first and last -- I played with dirt and I was exposed to germs like a normal kid), but that's me. I wouldn't say it's necessarily inappropriate. It sounds like she doesn't understand how you handle CF and shouldn't be commenting if she doesn't know the ins and outs. But if she DID know and said that stuff, I'd say she had a right. If that makes sense? Like if she's saying it for the right reasons, okay. If she's saying it out of ignorance... shut up, woman. <i>(Unsure if this part is clear... I mean shut up woman to HER, not you).</i>

Having said that, how you raise your kid is how you raise your kid. It's not her problem. Tell her off next time, or ignore her entirely. Or tell her off, then ignore her. Ha.

 

[Emily65Roses]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>MargaritaChic</b></i>
"Just wait until she is putting dirt in her mouth. Sanitizing your hands will not seem so important then."

"You can tell this is her first one, they are always like this with the first one, once the 2nd one comes along they calm down."

"If you don't expose her to germs, how is she going to build up immunity?"
</end quote></div>

I actually agree with this (especially the first and last -- I played with dirt and I was exposed to germs like a normal kid), but that's me. I wouldn't say it's necessarily inappropriate. It sounds like she doesn't understand how you handle CF and shouldn't be commenting if she doesn't know the ins and outs. But if she DID know and said that stuff, I'd say she had a right. If that makes sense? Like if she's saying it for the right reasons, okay. If she's saying it out of ignorance... shut up, woman. <i>(Unsure if this part is clear... I mean shut up woman to HER, not you).</i>

Having said that, how you raise your kid is how you raise your kid. It's not her problem. Tell her off next time, or ignore her entirely. Or tell her off, then ignore her. Ha.

 

[Emily65Roses]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>MargaritaChic</b></i>
"Just wait until she is putting dirt in her mouth. Sanitizing your hands will not seem so important then."

"You can tell this is her first one, they are always like this with the first one, once the 2nd one comes along they calm down."

"If you don't expose her to germs, how is she going to build up immunity?"
</end quote></div>

I actually agree with this (especially the first and last -- I played with dirt and I was exposed to germs like a normal kid), but that's me. I wouldn't say it's necessarily inappropriate. It sounds like she doesn't understand how you handle CF and shouldn't be commenting if she doesn't know the ins and outs. But if she DID know and said that stuff, I'd say she had a right. If that makes sense? Like if she's saying it for the right reasons, okay. If she's saying it out of ignorance... shut up, woman. <i>(Unsure if this part is clear... I mean shut up woman to HER, not you).</i>

Having said that, how you raise your kid is how you raise your kid. It's not her problem. Tell her off next time, or ignore her entirely. Or tell her off, then ignore her. Ha.

 

[Emily65Roses]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>MargaritaChic</b></i>
"Just wait until she is putting dirt in her mouth. Sanitizing your hands will not seem so important then."

"You can tell this is her first one, they are always like this with the first one, once the 2nd one comes along they calm down."

"If you don't expose her to germs, how is she going to build up immunity?"
</end quote>

I actually agree with this (especially the first and last -- I played with dirt and I was exposed to germs like a normal kid), but that's me. I wouldn't say it's necessarily inappropriate. It sounds like she doesn't understand how you handle CF and shouldn't be commenting if she doesn't know the ins and outs. But if she DID know and said that stuff, I'd say she had a right. If that makes sense? Like if she's saying it for the right reasons, okay. If she's saying it out of ignorance... shut up, woman. <i>(Unsure if this part is clear... I mean shut up woman to HER, not you).</i>

Having said that, how you raise your kid is how you raise your kid. It's not her problem. Tell her off next time, or ignore her entirely. Or tell her off, then ignore her. Ha.

 

[Emily65Roses]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>MargaritaChic</b></i>
<br />"Just wait until she is putting dirt in her mouth. Sanitizing your hands will not seem so important then."
<br />
<br />"You can tell this is her first one, they are always like this with the first one, once the 2nd one comes along they calm down."
<br />
<br />"If you don't expose her to germs, how is she going to build up immunity?"
<br /></end quote>
<br />
<br />I actually agree with this (especially the first and last -- I played with dirt and I was exposed to germs like a normal kid), but that's me. I wouldn't say it's necessarily inappropriate. It sounds like she doesn't understand how you handle CF and shouldn't be commenting if she doesn't know the ins and outs. But if she DID know and said that stuff, I'd say she had a right. If that makes sense? Like if she's saying it for the right reasons, okay. If she's saying it out of ignorance... shut up, woman. <i>(Unsure if this part is clear... I mean shut up woman to HER, not you).</i>
<br />
<br />Having said that, how you raise your kid is how you raise your kid. It's not her problem. Tell her off next time, or ignore her entirely. Or tell her off, then ignore her. Ha.