Life with cf can really suck, I feel your pain there. I also understand greatly going through pain everyday, my digestive issues, dios, the surgeries and problems associated with, constant severe joint pain and swelling. This can all be overwhelming. Add to that your recent losses, and it has to be trying. Just remember that many people care for you and it is the choices you make-how you respond to these stresses, that will dictate your path. I dealt with severe depression for a period of time as well, went through a relationship that went sour, a job that added insult to injury, a bankruptcy, and almost had my car repo-d, along with numerous lawsuits for medical bills. For some time I responded to this stress in a self-reckless manner. It took me some time, but eventually I started looking at things differently. I started reflecting on what really is important. Unfortunately, to me, there is not too much. I did, however, put all these negatives aside, as I cannot change them no matter how much I do. I am just glad it is not worse, as many people have not been fortunate to come along this far in life. All I can really do is wish you well and let you know that despite never meeting, or anyone else in these forums, I will think of you and your struggles, and I genuinely hope you can find a way to deal with all this stress. I look for diversions myself, computers, cars, just coming here to see what others have to say and feel. Life is tough, it is much tougher for people in situations like yours. Keep in mind though, only you can make the move to a better life.
Wishing you well.