Julie,
Most of the scars you saw pictured in those web sites were only weeks or days after tx.... they will lessen. I have to struggle to see my scars.... but it makes perfect sense to be concerned and self conscious about them.
Yes, I do know one woman who had plastic surgery post tx. I think it was not looked at as " the ideal thing to do" as the possible infection rate was higher for her.
You are wonderful not to get on your husband about the scars. It could be with time he will resolve the issue, or come up with a solution on how he wants to deal with it. From the guys I know, they love their scars.
I attend the transplant games every 2 years and the local team of transplant athletes meet for months ahead of the events, to practice our sports and raise money. One of the biggest, best, most exciting events is when everyone shows off their scars!!! All the guys are trying to outdo the next. I am always asked if I am going to show my scar ( I have been the only woman lung recipient on the team) and I always give a look of disgust. I said you are all single and married men and that is not appropriate to do.... LOL. They know where my scar is, as I have described it to them. I also tell them the only look the get is when I play volleyball and play with a sports bra. I guess that is enough for them. It is all in fun.
Maybe, what might help your husband is once he is more comfortable about lung tx, if he told a sibling, or relative about the scar, and he hears from them "cool". Then when he tells some friends about the scar and again hears "cool". he might be much more at ease.
Good luck and glad the pictures were helpful.
Joanne Schum