Is this tacky???

[65rosessamurai]

I guess throughout the years in Japan, I lost the meaning to the word 'tacky'. Anyway, I thought CFHockeyMom had a good suggestion, which was to at least try and give back the money donations in the same or another form, but for such other tangible 'donations' like diapers, I would see that more as a "gift", something that would only be recieved in the way of the show of appreciation. (Sending a personally written thank you card can do a lot of good, in my opinion.)
I personally would love to do something to help, but like Mark and you, I am in a similar financial situation, excluding the babies. (Still jobless due to an unexpected layoff, and the wife is the only one working as part time right now.)
I hope that there is something helpful I can do in the future, sending money would be a problem, though. For the main reason, it would cost me more to exchange the currency, before getting into the fees for transaction, etc.
I don't blame you for using all of your resources in order to survive for the sake of your family.
Nobody can really predict what the future will bring, especially those who are family planning. And as a CF'r who's ex-wife wanted to go AIV and would tell me horror stories about the couples who spent millions of dollars for a success, but failed, were in worse financial condition, so it is the case in which the desire for a family precedes the cost for having one.

 

[anonymous]

I do not think this is tacky at all. Since Aidan was DXed with CF, people have wanted to donate money to us. Honestly, at this point we are fine so we never accepted and the money we raise goes to his Great Strides team. So far his team alone has raised $50,000 for the CFF.

People always want to donate to high interest stories and I think this is a GREAT story. You and your husband have overcome great odds to become parents and I think that is amazing. Yes, you chose In Vitro but there are not many other options, I think it was a very courageous thing to do. I know that caring for Aidan is such a tremendous expense so I imagine your husband has those same medical costs plus now three babies. I think you deserve help and should not be afraid to ask for it.

Having said that, I have some clothes and stuff from Aidan, would you be interested in any? As you know, we are looking to have more though IVF/PGD but I can lend you some?

MEgan

 

[rcq925]

Julie,

Here is something that will help a little on the Huggies website and I will keep looking for you!

Do you have any type of program for multiple births?

We offer a one-time gift of coupons to parents of twins, triplets, etc. To receive this gift, please send a copy of the birth certificates to:

U.S. Requests:
Kimberly-Clark Corporation
Department QMB
P.O. Box 2020
Neenah, WI 54957-2020


Not sure what coupons they send but every little bit helps!! I do not think it is tacky either to ask for help! These babies are a blessing and it is a miracle that modern science could help someone with CF have a child of their own!!! Good luck!!

 

[rcq925]

Julie,

Pampers does it too, here's the information:

Congratulations on your bundles of joy! We have a special offer for multiple births of twins or more. Participants receive a one-time gift of valuable coupons for Pampers OR Luvs baby care products. Just send us your complete name and postal address, along with photocopies of the babies' official government birth certificates, and which brand you prefer to:

Pampers Multiple Birth Offer
The Procter & Gamble Company
P.O. Box 599
Cincinnati, OH 45201

OR

Luvs Multiple Birth Offer
The Procter & Gamble Company
P.O. Box 599
Cincinnati, OH 45201

If the birth certificates contain sensitive personal information, such as social security numbers, please black this information out before sending.

 

[LisaV]

As far as your elderly churchmembers go. They might be able to offer what grandparents on social security could in this situation - that is, time not money. Not to give you something else to worry about, but my daughter was a preemie (a big one at 5lbs - but with a weak "suck") and in the beginning she spent 1/3 of her time eating. I was supposed to feed her every 3 hours (even if it meant waking her) and then it took her about an hour to get her several ounces of formula down (too weak a suck for breastfeeding). If you multiply that x3 you have babies feeding 24 hours a day.

Grandparents make GREAT baby nursers and snugglers. The volunteer list for the preemie nursery in the hospital is always oversubscribed. Your church members might be interested in signing up (maybe in ones or twos all day long) to come over help.

Also, I found that I couldn't do the come home and cook dinner thing every night once I had a baby (nor could I when I was a single parent). I bet your church members would be good for casseroles and stuff at first. Later you could do a big cooking thing on Saturday (and maybe 1 or 2 could) help and cook up and freeze 14-21 individual adult servings of things. (I used to do the whole week's dinner cooking on the weekends.) Stuff like meatballs or sausages and sauce, a whole turkey or chicken (cheap and good for lots of meat and homemade pot pie). And then there are the slow cooker things for other nights too. Just start it in the morning and stir it once in a while (adding water if necessary). Rip used to love to cook things that way and it gave him a great smelling pot to snack from all day too.

 

[EnergyGal]

Hi Julie

Glad you like the idea of affiliate programs. You can make an additional page on your website and have many affiliate programs and hopefully with your website you can bring in some extra money over time. The idea is to get your website out there so many people can see it. I hope you can get coverage for your story. You will see everything will fall into place. I would try and enjoy the moments as these are the times to cherish. Every step of the way and when the babies are born many people will want to help you. I am sure your families will be their with open arms.

 

[anonymous]

I don't think it's tacky and think it is worth a try. I am sure that you will appreciate any help you can get.

Someone suggested taking your story to the media. While we find your story interesting, I don't really think it's all that unique for the media. As a couple, you suffered infertility, you had IVF and you got pregnant with triplets. You got pregnant on your first try with IVF. Yes, unique to all of us, but not all that unique when you look at all the other triplet moms out there. I dunno. I just don't see it as being a big story. IVF helps many couples with many different forms of infertility. Some of those couples have multiple births. Some on the first try and some after many many tries. I just don't see the draw for a news story?

 

[EnergyGal]

Maybe if the focus of your story is on your Husband and how he now has Triplets when that is so unsual for a CF male but with IVF etc..... then mention the change in your lives and how much of a change it will be for your husbands CF because he will be taking care of all of you plus his time consumming day will be focusing on keeping his health # 1

CF is always a good story and even though it is discussed many times a new twist is always refreshing. Then you all can do a follow up story a year later. I think the fact that your Husband looks so healthy interviewing him at the gym taking a picture of him there plus holding all of his kids might be impressive picture.

 

[EnergyGal]

I meant to add you Julie in the picture too. If he can hold you and the babies that will be extremely impressive lol
you know I am kidding. If possible he could go down in CF history as the strongest male

 

[julie]

Thanks for the ideas everyone. Mark's grandparents (his grandfather is an elder at the church) asked what else we needed. We said pretty much diapers, wipes and when the babies arrive meals are going to be really tough to do so meals would be great too. The only problem is we drive 50 minutes to church every week. And that's an issue in itself. I was raised christian but spent many years not going to church, and the same with Mark. When we moved back up here I wanted to go to church but he didn't, then his grandparents invited us and we started going regularly. The thing is, some of the things this church practices, I don't believe in and neither does he. We do very much enjoy the preacher, and spending time with his grandparents but that's about it. I'm very conflicted driving that far, for a church we don't necessairly believe it, plus this church has always got some fight and drama going on. We spend as much time every sunday working out problems between individuals (something that doesn't need to be dealt with by the church... yet) than we do worshiping. So you combine the almost 1 hour drive (each way) with 90% elderly people and a good deal of them who live on the San Juan Islands and take the ferry every Sunday for church and there's not much help from the church. His grandparets and my parents and possibly his mom... yes, they will be there to help and such.

Megan, Thank you so much for the offer of clothes. As it is right now, we've recieved a LOT of hand me down clothes for the boys, so I think we are set for quite a while! Plus, I fear that borrowing clothes and using them for 2 boys might render them useless by the time they get back to you <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">. But I really really appreciate the offer. That is also very impressive about the money you have raised. All we've ever raised for the CFF is about $2,000 but we try and try....THank you so much for your offer though, that is so kind of you!!!!

Thanks for that info on Pampers and Huggies Becky. I've just addressed the envelopes so all I have to do is include my letter and the birth certificate when the babies arrive. I appreciate you looking that up for me!!!

Someone else had mentioned a multiples club. Yes, we joined one and that's actually how I've gotten a lot of supplies (that and garage sales). We got 2 swings that way, 1 baby bathtub, 3 bouncy seats, a whole bunch of bottles, a crock pot (to use as a bottle warmer because bottle warmers only fir 1 or 2 bottles), some baby clothes, blankets.... and a few other items. It helps to talk to other moms too. I went to a mom meeting a month ago and it was great. So that has been helpful, both for the advice and availability to buy things we need that are used but we can buy them in multiples.

Thanks to everyone.

I decided to go ahead and put the donations page on the website, but I added it at the bottom of the navigation bar and didn't put anything to make it stand out. I have a paypal button and then Walmart and Target where we are registered. I used the giftcard option at target and Walmart too because some suggested people, if they wanted to help, might be more open to gift cards than cash. And for the life of me, I could not attach diapers or wipes to my baby registry (doesn't make sense to me but oh well!) so I decided on the gift card option. And for the paypal, if people donate monetairly, it will first be used to pay the expense of keeping the CF infertilty website running. Because if things keep up the way they are, that's the next thing to go in our budget. We only still have internet because Mark needs it for school and we calculated out the drive to the library daily to and from, M-F and it's cheaper with the cost of gas for us to keep the internet.

Thanks to everyone for the honest opinions. I really appreciate you sharing that!!!

 

[CFHockeyMom]

Nice job on the web page; not tacky at all.

 

[Seana30]

Julie,

Nicely done!! No flashing signs or big words, just a spot to donation if you want.

I personally do not think it is tacky at all. You do what ever you need to do to raise those precious babies!

I was thinking of you on the drive home from WalMart today. Do they have preemie size disposable diapers? If so can you get them at WalMart, Target, etc?

Take care

Seana

 

[julie]

Thanks Claudette and Seana, I tried to just put it there and if someone sees it and wants to... then they will. I don't want to take away from the purpose of the website at all.

I haven't been to walmart in a while or Target, (frankly, I haven't been anywhere but the doctors for the last 2 weeks <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">) but I am pretty sure they both carry preemie sizes, I know both huggies and pampers makes preemie sizes, not sure about the walmart/target brand but I'm sure they would too. And all I find online for them are diaper bags and changing tables and such. I am sure they would carry preemie size though. If not, another mom told me the newborn size works ok too and you just fold the top down for a few weeks.

Also a lot of triplet moms have recommended 1800 diapers as well. I was just on their webpage (<a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.1800diapers.com/prdList.aspx?c=1)">http://www.1800diapers.com/prdList.aspx?c=1)</a> and they have preemie sizes and diapers/wipes on their site.

I haven't ever shopped at walmart/target/costco for diapers so I'm not sure what the price comparison is (yet) I've only ever seen them at the grocery store. But from what I see on this 1800diapers website, their prices are really really low compared to what I'm use to seeing at the grocery store (but of course there is more expensive anyways).

Hope this answers the question. My posts seem to get longer and longer every time I write (sorry) <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">, can you tell I'm bored???

 

[lovemygirl]

Hi,
My daughter has CF and before she was born I wanted to work part-time. We didn't think it was financially possible and then she was diagnosed. We decided I would go back part-time and we did it for 5 years. It is amazing what you can do when you think you can't. Do what you need to do to take care of your babies!

In the event that you need to cut costs here is an amazing "recipe" I used when my daughter was in diapers:
<u><b>Baby Wipes</b></u>
2 cups water (adjust to wetness you want)
2 tablespoons baby shampoo or baby wash
2 tablespoons baby oil
Bounty Paper Towel (cut each roll in 1/2) and remove cardboard center
1 Tupperware container that will hold 1/2 roll of paper towel (with lid)

Mix these ingredients, and let the paper towel soak. Wipes are ready in about 20-30 minutes. For travel put them in a ziploc bag or any container sold for wipes. To remove wipes, pull from center.

This wil cost you about $0.50-$1 per week (per baby) instead of $5+/week with store bought. It is also better and doesn't irritate their skin. I did it because Ashley had bad diaper rash from the enzymes and it was the only thing that didn't burn her already irritated bottom (no alcohol).
A lot of people say they don't have time to make the wipes but honestly it takes seconds and would take longer to go to the store and buy some (plus the savings on gas getting there and the hassle of dressing 3 babies to go shopping).
Trust me on the Bounty paper towel, it seems to be the only towel strong enough to do the job properly. Look for coupons or get them on sale. You may want to write to the company explain your situation and let them know about this "recipe". Maybe they will help you out.
I organize fundraisers all the time to raise money for CF research. You would be amazed what people will give you if you just ask.
Good luck with everything and I am sure it will all work out.

 

[JazzysMom]

When you decide what products you prefer go to the website of the companies & brag about the product &/or tell of your story. They will send if nothing else some coupons for products. Maybe even more if you share the story!

I do that with basic items including food!

 

[julie]

That's a good idea Mel, I definately have my favorite products... never thought of that.

Lovemygirl, thanks SO much for that recipe. I had atually seen it posted here before for sore bums for CF babies and was telling Mark about it a few weeks ago. I though it could save a lot! I meant to ask about it but never got around to it, thanks so much!!!!!!

 

[cfmomma]

Somebody gave a batch of the papertowel baby wipes when my son was born. I loved them, they worked so much better than store bought ones. My son never got a diaper rash while using them.

As far as baby food goes, make it yourself. It's easy to puree food and it is a lot cheaper than baby food jars. If I think of any more money-saving tips I will let you know. Hang in there

 

[damiensmom]

Giving makes the world a better place. I belive it will all fall together. (opinion) Respect your husbands privacy. The diaper party great idea.And as a mother of a son with cf,I hope that if he wants children hes wife ,girlfriend whatever will be willing and wanting to persevere the endevers to make it happen. When your hearts in it. Its a beauuuutiiifull thing. Helping people always made me feel good. Cant wait to see those little treasures.

 

[kayleesgrandma]

When my first child was born it was the whole back-to-earth, all natural, only breastfeed, make your own baby food--movement. I pureed all my babyfood and froze it in icecube trays. Then I could just pop out a "cube" of food, put in an empty babyfood jar, and heat up in water on stove. The microwave hadn't come on the scene yet, or at least, we couldn't afford it. Was great when we had to go somewhere. Just make sure to have some empty baby food jars and a couple of icecube trayson hand. Saved money--I hadn't thought of it until Sheli mentioned it--it was 28 years ago!

 

[Momtana]

Julie, I was concerned about the synthetics and chemicals in the baby wipes, so used a wet wash cloth on my babies' bottoms. We did use the wipes when we traveled. Adds to the laundry, I know, but no extra, un-needed chemical exposures. (Turns out, years later, I developed chemical sensitivity).