C
cindylou
Guest
I know that not all CF women experience infertility as a result of CF, but I know a few in here have been or were TTCing for a long time, so maybe some of you will understand!<div><br></div><div>As I mentioned in the vitex thread, my last cycle was 41 days with a 4 day luteal phase. This cycle is so far on day 47 and DAY 21 of the luteal phase... and nope, definitely not pregnant! I had a gut feeling all along that I wasn't pregnant, but today after getting the negative blood test at the doctor's office I came home and cried for an hour. It's just so frustrating! At this point, although I desperately want a baby more than anything, I don't even care about being pregnant - I just want my body to do SOMETHING right for ONCE!!!</div><div><br></div><div>To add insult to injury, my hubby brought home a virus from work the other day. For most people it's a 24-36 hour cold, nothing major (he had about a day and a half of sniffles and aches), but I am now on day 4 of fever, aches, sore throat, and severe post-nasal drip. I got a cold exactly like this in December and it took me 4 or 5 months and 3 weeks of IVs to recover from it because of the lung infection that resulted. I just barely squeaked out of my last clinic visit (3 weeks ago) without a hospitalization - I do NOT want to have to go back!</div><div><br></div><div>So, sort of frustrated by my body on all counts today.</div><div><br></div><div>I feel like I work so hard, do everything right, take care of myself so carefully, and yet still everything goes wrong. My lung function is good, which I am SO grateful about, but my overall health has never been good - I have a lot of other issues in addition to CF, and my body is sort of always at the physical limit - and now I'm realizing how enormous my infertility issues are as well, probably because of CF. I never had regular cycles as a teen (I went 9 months without a period at one point, and the most "regular" I ever was was probably 2-3 months between periods) but I guess I never realized until I came off of birth control and started TTC that cycles that irregular were not actually normal!</div><div><br></div><div>We have only been officially TTC for 3 months (which has only been 2 cycles, dangit) but we have wanted a baby for over two years now, we were just waiting for my health to be a little more stable (which it is now...hopefully this virus doesn't mess that up!). It feels like we have been waiting forever. I have never wanted anything more than to be a mother. I KNOW it is what I am meant to do with my life. It's tough to watch all of my friends easily get pregnant (and be able to care for their infants without worrying about the exhaustion leading to a hospitalization!) and to have my arms still be empty.</div><div><br></div><div>Anyway, sorry for the novel!!! Just had to get my thoughts out somewhere.....</div>