I understand your thoughts a bit better, but my response is the same. Maybe this sounds a bit conceded, but I assure them that any issues from my CF that arise is worth the effort whether its a long term relationship or a few dates. <b><i>I</b></i> am worth the challenge. No question about it!
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Just curious
- Thread starter perky79
- Start date
I was thinking about this a bit more.
I think as we all grow early (especially early 20s) and our lives change so much (in school our whole lives and then BAM! it's time to be an adult and work and live our lives independently and look for a spouse maybe) we all go through this self-reflection.
I think almost all of us have said "Gee, there are so many smart, interesting, wonderful people out there. With all of those people, why would someone chose to be with ME, with CF????" For many of us it might just a passing thought, or for some this feeling might last a while - while we find ourselves as adults.
I'll give you an example that really helped me. My boyfriend is from overseas. This doesn't make me see him any differently - he's still really smart, motivated, funny, caring, cute, and a great overall person. But we have encountered a few stumbling blocks because he is foreign (cultural differences, language barriers, and his ability to stay in the US). He asked me once why I bother? I could date someone who is from the US and not deal with these issues.
It took me by suprise because for me, I don't care that he's from overseas. Sure, we have some issues but it doesn't change how much I care for him. And all of our troubles are well worth it.
He has lickened my CF to this. Sure, there are issues but it's only a tiny part of who I am. And he'd never not consider dating me because of that. Granted the examples aren't exactly equivalent (he's not going to die early because he's foreign), but the general idea is.
This really helped me gain perspective on why peopel are wiilling to date/marry those with CF. It's not who we are. It's just a part of what/who we are.
Hope this helps.
I think as we all grow early (especially early 20s) and our lives change so much (in school our whole lives and then BAM! it's time to be an adult and work and live our lives independently and look for a spouse maybe) we all go through this self-reflection.
I think almost all of us have said "Gee, there are so many smart, interesting, wonderful people out there. With all of those people, why would someone chose to be with ME, with CF????" For many of us it might just a passing thought, or for some this feeling might last a while - while we find ourselves as adults.
I'll give you an example that really helped me. My boyfriend is from overseas. This doesn't make me see him any differently - he's still really smart, motivated, funny, caring, cute, and a great overall person. But we have encountered a few stumbling blocks because he is foreign (cultural differences, language barriers, and his ability to stay in the US). He asked me once why I bother? I could date someone who is from the US and not deal with these issues.
It took me by suprise because for me, I don't care that he's from overseas. Sure, we have some issues but it doesn't change how much I care for him. And all of our troubles are well worth it.
He has lickened my CF to this. Sure, there are issues but it's only a tiny part of who I am. And he'd never not consider dating me because of that. Granted the examples aren't exactly equivalent (he's not going to die early because he's foreign), but the general idea is.
This really helped me gain perspective on why peopel are wiilling to date/marry those with CF. It's not who we are. It's just a part of what/who we are.
Hope this helps.
I was thinking about this a bit more.
I think as we all grow early (especially early 20s) and our lives change so much (in school our whole lives and then BAM! it's time to be an adult and work and live our lives independently and look for a spouse maybe) we all go through this self-reflection.
I think almost all of us have said "Gee, there are so many smart, interesting, wonderful people out there. With all of those people, why would someone chose to be with ME, with CF????" For many of us it might just a passing thought, or for some this feeling might last a while - while we find ourselves as adults.
I'll give you an example that really helped me. My boyfriend is from overseas. This doesn't make me see him any differently - he's still really smart, motivated, funny, caring, cute, and a great overall person. But we have encountered a few stumbling blocks because he is foreign (cultural differences, language barriers, and his ability to stay in the US). He asked me once why I bother? I could date someone who is from the US and not deal with these issues.
It took me by suprise because for me, I don't care that he's from overseas. Sure, we have some issues but it doesn't change how much I care for him. And all of our troubles are well worth it.
He has lickened my CF to this. Sure, there are issues but it's only a tiny part of who I am. And he'd never not consider dating me because of that. Granted the examples aren't exactly equivalent (he's not going to die early because he's foreign), but the general idea is.
This really helped me gain perspective on why peopel are wiilling to date/marry those with CF. It's not who we are. It's just a part of what/who we are.
Hope this helps.
I think as we all grow early (especially early 20s) and our lives change so much (in school our whole lives and then BAM! it's time to be an adult and work and live our lives independently and look for a spouse maybe) we all go through this self-reflection.
I think almost all of us have said "Gee, there are so many smart, interesting, wonderful people out there. With all of those people, why would someone chose to be with ME, with CF????" For many of us it might just a passing thought, or for some this feeling might last a while - while we find ourselves as adults.
I'll give you an example that really helped me. My boyfriend is from overseas. This doesn't make me see him any differently - he's still really smart, motivated, funny, caring, cute, and a great overall person. But we have encountered a few stumbling blocks because he is foreign (cultural differences, language barriers, and his ability to stay in the US). He asked me once why I bother? I could date someone who is from the US and not deal with these issues.
It took me by suprise because for me, I don't care that he's from overseas. Sure, we have some issues but it doesn't change how much I care for him. And all of our troubles are well worth it.
He has lickened my CF to this. Sure, there are issues but it's only a tiny part of who I am. And he'd never not consider dating me because of that. Granted the examples aren't exactly equivalent (he's not going to die early because he's foreign), but the general idea is.
This really helped me gain perspective on why peopel are wiilling to date/marry those with CF. It's not who we are. It's just a part of what/who we are.
Hope this helps.
I was thinking about this a bit more.
I think as we all grow early (especially early 20s) and our lives change so much (in school our whole lives and then BAM! it's time to be an adult and work and live our lives independently and look for a spouse maybe) we all go through this self-reflection.
I think almost all of us have said "Gee, there are so many smart, interesting, wonderful people out there. With all of those people, why would someone chose to be with ME, with CF????" For many of us it might just a passing thought, or for some this feeling might last a while - while we find ourselves as adults.
I'll give you an example that really helped me. My boyfriend is from overseas. This doesn't make me see him any differently - he's still really smart, motivated, funny, caring, cute, and a great overall person. But we have encountered a few stumbling blocks because he is foreign (cultural differences, language barriers, and his ability to stay in the US). He asked me once why I bother? I could date someone who is from the US and not deal with these issues.
It took me by suprise because for me, I don't care that he's from overseas. Sure, we have some issues but it doesn't change how much I care for him. And all of our troubles are well worth it.
He has lickened my CF to this. Sure, there are issues but it's only a tiny part of who I am. And he'd never not consider dating me because of that. Granted the examples aren't exactly equivalent (he's not going to die early because he's foreign), but the general idea is.
This really helped me gain perspective on why peopel are wiilling to date/marry those with CF. It's not who we are. It's just a part of what/who we are.
Hope this helps.
I think as we all grow early (especially early 20s) and our lives change so much (in school our whole lives and then BAM! it's time to be an adult and work and live our lives independently and look for a spouse maybe) we all go through this self-reflection.
I think almost all of us have said "Gee, there are so many smart, interesting, wonderful people out there. With all of those people, why would someone chose to be with ME, with CF????" For many of us it might just a passing thought, or for some this feeling might last a while - while we find ourselves as adults.
I'll give you an example that really helped me. My boyfriend is from overseas. This doesn't make me see him any differently - he's still really smart, motivated, funny, caring, cute, and a great overall person. But we have encountered a few stumbling blocks because he is foreign (cultural differences, language barriers, and his ability to stay in the US). He asked me once why I bother? I could date someone who is from the US and not deal with these issues.
It took me by suprise because for me, I don't care that he's from overseas. Sure, we have some issues but it doesn't change how much I care for him. And all of our troubles are well worth it.
He has lickened my CF to this. Sure, there are issues but it's only a tiny part of who I am. And he'd never not consider dating me because of that. Granted the examples aren't exactly equivalent (he's not going to die early because he's foreign), but the general idea is.
This really helped me gain perspective on why peopel are wiilling to date/marry those with CF. It's not who we are. It's just a part of what/who we are.
Hope this helps.
mom2lillian
New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>sakasuka</b></i>
Can't relate.... I tell anyone and everyone about my CF. it's not my identity, but it's part of who I am and I'm not ashamed to educate others.
My boyfriend, boyfriend's family, boss, co-worker, VP of my company, people in the groccery store line with me, classmates, customers. No one is uncomfortable with it because I'm not. People don't treat it like a big deal because I don't present it as a big deal.
It is what it is....</end quote></div>
verbatim here, I like to educate others and encourage them to ask questions--I have even brought in my flutter which I dont normally use for some of the guys at wokr to see what I am talking abotu and let them try it (cleaned of course) and I find some really think seeing the port is very cool--one asked if it was like bieng bionic woman !LOL
It is what it is
Can't relate.... I tell anyone and everyone about my CF. it's not my identity, but it's part of who I am and I'm not ashamed to educate others.
My boyfriend, boyfriend's family, boss, co-worker, VP of my company, people in the groccery store line with me, classmates, customers. No one is uncomfortable with it because I'm not. People don't treat it like a big deal because I don't present it as a big deal.
It is what it is....</end quote></div>
verbatim here, I like to educate others and encourage them to ask questions--I have even brought in my flutter which I dont normally use for some of the guys at wokr to see what I am talking abotu and let them try it (cleaned of course) and I find some really think seeing the port is very cool--one asked if it was like bieng bionic woman !LOL
It is what it is
mom2lillian
New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>sakasuka</b></i>
Can't relate.... I tell anyone and everyone about my CF. it's not my identity, but it's part of who I am and I'm not ashamed to educate others.
My boyfriend, boyfriend's family, boss, co-worker, VP of my company, people in the groccery store line with me, classmates, customers. No one is uncomfortable with it because I'm not. People don't treat it like a big deal because I don't present it as a big deal.
It is what it is....</end quote></div>
verbatim here, I like to educate others and encourage them to ask questions--I have even brought in my flutter which I dont normally use for some of the guys at wokr to see what I am talking abotu and let them try it (cleaned of course) and I find some really think seeing the port is very cool--one asked if it was like bieng bionic woman !LOL
It is what it is
Can't relate.... I tell anyone and everyone about my CF. it's not my identity, but it's part of who I am and I'm not ashamed to educate others.
My boyfriend, boyfriend's family, boss, co-worker, VP of my company, people in the groccery store line with me, classmates, customers. No one is uncomfortable with it because I'm not. People don't treat it like a big deal because I don't present it as a big deal.
It is what it is....</end quote></div>
verbatim here, I like to educate others and encourage them to ask questions--I have even brought in my flutter which I dont normally use for some of the guys at wokr to see what I am talking abotu and let them try it (cleaned of course) and I find some really think seeing the port is very cool--one asked if it was like bieng bionic woman !LOL
It is what it is
mom2lillian
New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>sakasuka</b></i>
Can't relate.... I tell anyone and everyone about my CF. it's not my identity, but it's part of who I am and I'm not ashamed to educate others.
My boyfriend, boyfriend's family, boss, co-worker, VP of my company, people in the groccery store line with me, classmates, customers. No one is uncomfortable with it because I'm not. People don't treat it like a big deal because I don't present it as a big deal.
It is what it is....</end quote></div>
verbatim here, I like to educate others and encourage them to ask questions--I have even brought in my flutter which I dont normally use for some of the guys at wokr to see what I am talking abotu and let them try it (cleaned of course) and I find some really think seeing the port is very cool--one asked if it was like bieng bionic woman !LOL
It is what it is
Can't relate.... I tell anyone and everyone about my CF. it's not my identity, but it's part of who I am and I'm not ashamed to educate others.
My boyfriend, boyfriend's family, boss, co-worker, VP of my company, people in the groccery store line with me, classmates, customers. No one is uncomfortable with it because I'm not. People don't treat it like a big deal because I don't present it as a big deal.
It is what it is....</end quote></div>
verbatim here, I like to educate others and encourage them to ask questions--I have even brought in my flutter which I dont normally use for some of the guys at wokr to see what I am talking abotu and let them try it (cleaned of course) and I find some really think seeing the port is very cool--one asked if it was like bieng bionic woman !LOL
It is what it is
mom2lillian
New member
oh didnt read the clarification on the intent of the thread.
I guess its different since I was dating my husband when I was dx but if it helps this is what he says (yes I tried to get him to flee when I foudn out).
He says a short time with the right person is better than a lifetime with the wrong one--who can argues with that?
I guess its different since I was dating my husband when I was dx but if it helps this is what he says (yes I tried to get him to flee when I foudn out).
He says a short time with the right person is better than a lifetime with the wrong one--who can argues with that?
mom2lillian
New member
oh didnt read the clarification on the intent of the thread.
I guess its different since I was dating my husband when I was dx but if it helps this is what he says (yes I tried to get him to flee when I foudn out).
He says a short time with the right person is better than a lifetime with the wrong one--who can argues with that?
I guess its different since I was dating my husband when I was dx but if it helps this is what he says (yes I tried to get him to flee when I foudn out).
He says a short time with the right person is better than a lifetime with the wrong one--who can argues with that?
mom2lillian
New member
oh didnt read the clarification on the intent of the thread.
I guess its different since I was dating my husband when I was dx but if it helps this is what he says (yes I tried to get him to flee when I foudn out).
He says a short time with the right person is better than a lifetime with the wrong one--who can argues with that?
I guess its different since I was dating my husband when I was dx but if it helps this is what he says (yes I tried to get him to flee when I foudn out).
He says a short time with the right person is better than a lifetime with the wrong one--who can argues with that?
mom2lillian
New member
Yes he is a good guy but really back to what Amy was saying it is more of a deal for us to accept someone being willing to accept us with CF then it is for them I think. For the other person (assuming they are a good person) they accept us as a whole package. For instance my husband is so accepting of it I made us go to counseling because I though no way could someone accept it but that is when he started to explain his logic.
I think the key here is loving ourselves and accepting our disease otherwise no one else stands a chance of loving and accepting us.
I think the key here is loving ourselves and accepting our disease otherwise no one else stands a chance of loving and accepting us.
mom2lillian
New member
Yes he is a good guy but really back to what Amy was saying it is more of a deal for us to accept someone being willing to accept us with CF then it is for them I think. For the other person (assuming they are a good person) they accept us as a whole package. For instance my husband is so accepting of it I made us go to counseling because I though no way could someone accept it but that is when he started to explain his logic.
I think the key here is loving ourselves and accepting our disease otherwise no one else stands a chance of loving and accepting us.
I think the key here is loving ourselves and accepting our disease otherwise no one else stands a chance of loving and accepting us.
mom2lillian
New member
Yes he is a good guy but really back to what Amy was saying it is more of a deal for us to accept someone being willing to accept us with CF then it is for them I think. For the other person (assuming they are a good person) they accept us as a whole package. For instance my husband is so accepting of it I made us go to counseling because I though no way could someone accept it but that is when he started to explain his logic.
I think the key here is loving ourselves and accepting our disease otherwise no one else stands a chance of loving and accepting us.
I think the key here is loving ourselves and accepting our disease otherwise no one else stands a chance of loving and accepting us.
This is a great thread; after all, who with CF hasn't thought this through and dealt with it? I so admire all of you who feels comfortable in telling anyone about your cf. I went through a phase in my 20's where I tried that, and didn't always get the positive responses you all experienced -- perhaps it was my delivery. I've always told myself, cf is part of my life, take me or leave me. Now, I only tell those I feel close with and who deserve to know. As far as relationships, when I was getting close with someone, I would leave them before they could leave me... it was my way of preventing a big heartache.
Barbara
40 w/CF & CFRD
Barbara
40 w/CF & CFRD
This is a great thread; after all, who with CF hasn't thought this through and dealt with it? I so admire all of you who feels comfortable in telling anyone about your cf. I went through a phase in my 20's where I tried that, and didn't always get the positive responses you all experienced -- perhaps it was my delivery. I've always told myself, cf is part of my life, take me or leave me. Now, I only tell those I feel close with and who deserve to know. As far as relationships, when I was getting close with someone, I would leave them before they could leave me... it was my way of preventing a big heartache.
Barbara
40 w/CF & CFRD
Barbara
40 w/CF & CFRD
This is a great thread; after all, who with CF hasn't thought this through and dealt with it? I so admire all of you who feels comfortable in telling anyone about your cf. I went through a phase in my 20's where I tried that, and didn't always get the positive responses you all experienced -- perhaps it was my delivery. I've always told myself, cf is part of my life, take me or leave me. Now, I only tell those I feel close with and who deserve to know. As far as relationships, when I was getting close with someone, I would leave them before they could leave me... it was my way of preventing a big heartache.
Barbara
40 w/CF & CFRD
Barbara
40 w/CF & CFRD
Emily65Roses
New member
I've fought with it. I tried to push Mike away for a year or so... on and off. But his response eventually stopped me. It was always the same. 1. I'm a big boy, I can make my own decisions. 2. I'd rather have less time with you than none at all. 3. I love you. 4. Shut up.
Hah.
I also tell everyone about the CF, I couldn't care less. Though I know that wasn't the question at hand. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
Hah.
I also tell everyone about the CF, I couldn't care less. Though I know that wasn't the question at hand. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">