I'm glad to read these posts! My boyfriend has CF, and marmarmar has pretty much echoed a lot of my feelings, except that I knew before we ever got together that he had CF. When he was in high school, a girl he was interested in who was interested in him walked away from him when she found out he had CF. Her loss. I've never met anyone like my boyfriend and I love him more than words can say. He has had a lifetime to get used to the idea that his expiry date could be much sooner than most other peoples'. It still bothers me, after a year of being together. I know he's going to die. I know I'M going to die. But the thought of him dying young and my having to live without him breaks my heart and scares me badly. He jokes about not being around in five years, but while I know he needs to have a sense of humour about it, I just can't joke about his death. He is 32 years old, and he could go at any time, really. I try hard to take care of him, because god knows he doesn't try too hard to take care of himself. That also scares me. He's gotten better in the time we've been together but he could do better still. Part of me resents that--aren't I important enough to stick around for? Often I feel so selfish for feeling what I feel. He's often tired and doesn't have the energy to do things. Most of the time, I understand and it doesn't bother me, but I resent his tiredness when I want to be intimate and he'd rather snooze. I know that's selfish, and then I feel guilty on top of it all. I try hard to put his needs ahead of my own, but sometimes I get quiet and withdrawn and he gets angry at me for it. But I don't want to tell him the problem because I don't want him to feel bad, and, well, you get the idea. I feel so bad when he wakes up coughing....I wish I could take on the disease for him, just to give him a break. I admire how strong he is for dealing with his CF and his positive attitude toward it. But sometimes I get angry at him for not taking care of himself, and I probably mother him too much. I don't want to coddle him and make him feel like a little kid, but I want to take care of him. I try to cram in lots of affection while we can, but then he gets annoyed at my clingyness. I just can't seem to find the right balance to suit both of us. I know all couples struggle at times, but the CF can make things worse. I think it takes strong people on both sides--those who have it and those who love them--to make things work. While it's often hard, the reward is tremendous. And while it scares me terribly to know he could die very young, at least we got the time we had, which is more than some people get. Doesn't make things much easier though. Nothing does. But I am glad that others feel what I feel--at least I'm not alone.
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just found out my boyfriend has CF - please help
- Thread starter marmarmar
- Start date
I'm glad to read these posts! My boyfriend has CF, and marmarmar has pretty much echoed a lot of my feelings, except that I knew before we ever got together that he had CF. When he was in high school, a girl he was interested in who was interested in him walked away from him when she found out he had CF. Her loss. I've never met anyone like my boyfriend and I love him more than words can say. He has had a lifetime to get used to the idea that his expiry date could be much sooner than most other peoples'. It still bothers me, after a year of being together. I know he's going to die. I know I'M going to die. But the thought of him dying young and my having to live without him breaks my heart and scares me badly. He jokes about not being around in five years, but while I know he needs to have a sense of humour about it, I just can't joke about his death. He is 32 years old, and he could go at any time, really. I try hard to take care of him, because god knows he doesn't try too hard to take care of himself. That also scares me. He's gotten better in the time we've been together but he could do better still. Part of me resents that--aren't I important enough to stick around for? Often I feel so selfish for feeling what I feel. He's often tired and doesn't have the energy to do things. Most of the time, I understand and it doesn't bother me, but I resent his tiredness when I want to be intimate and he'd rather snooze. I know that's selfish, and then I feel guilty on top of it all. I try hard to put his needs ahead of my own, but sometimes I get quiet and withdrawn and he gets angry at me for it. But I don't want to tell him the problem because I don't want him to feel bad, and, well, you get the idea. I feel so bad when he wakes up coughing....I wish I could take on the disease for him, just to give him a break. I admire how strong he is for dealing with his CF and his positive attitude toward it. But sometimes I get angry at him for not taking care of himself, and I probably mother him too much. I don't want to coddle him and make him feel like a little kid, but I want to take care of him. I try to cram in lots of affection while we can, but then he gets annoyed at my clingyness. I just can't seem to find the right balance to suit both of us. I know all couples struggle at times, but the CF can make things worse. I think it takes strong people on both sides--those who have it and those who love them--to make things work. While it's often hard, the reward is tremendous. And while it scares me terribly to know he could die very young, at least we got the time we had, which is more than some people get. Doesn't make things much easier though. Nothing does. But I am glad that others feel what I feel--at least I'm not alone.
I'm glad to read these posts! My boyfriend has CF, and marmarmar has pretty much echoed a lot of my feelings, except that I knew before we ever got together that he had CF. When he was in high school, a girl he was interested in who was interested in him walked away from him when she found out he had CF. Her loss. I've never met anyone like my boyfriend and I love him more than words can say. He has had a lifetime to get used to the idea that his expiry date could be much sooner than most other peoples'. It still bothers me, after a year of being together. I know he's going to die. I know I'M going to die. But the thought of him dying young and my having to live without him breaks my heart and scares me badly. He jokes about not being around in five years, but while I know he needs to have a sense of humour about it, I just can't joke about his death. He is 32 years old, and he could go at any time, really. I try hard to take care of him, because god knows he doesn't try too hard to take care of himself. That also scares me. He's gotten better in the time we've been together but he could do better still. Part of me resents that--aren't I important enough to stick around for? Often I feel so selfish for feeling what I feel. He's often tired and doesn't have the energy to do things. Most of the time, I understand and it doesn't bother me, but I resent his tiredness when I want to be intimate and he'd rather snooze. I know that's selfish, and then I feel guilty on top of it all. I try hard to put his needs ahead of my own, but sometimes I get quiet and withdrawn and he gets angry at me for it. But I don't want to tell him the problem because I don't want him to feel bad, and, well, you get the idea. I feel so bad when he wakes up coughing....I wish I could take on the disease for him, just to give him a break. I admire how strong he is for dealing with his CF and his positive attitude toward it. But sometimes I get angry at him for not taking care of himself, and I probably mother him too much. I don't want to coddle him and make him feel like a little kid, but I want to take care of him. I try to cram in lots of affection while we can, but then he gets annoyed at my clingyness. I just can't seem to find the right balance to suit both of us. I know all couples struggle at times, but the CF can make things worse. I think it takes strong people on both sides--those who have it and those who love them--to make things work. While it's often hard, the reward is tremendous. And while it scares me terribly to know he could die very young, at least we got the time we had, which is more than some people get. Doesn't make things much easier though. Nothing does. But I am glad that others feel what I feel--at least I'm not alone.
I'm glad to read these posts! My boyfriend has CF, and marmarmar has pretty much echoed a lot of my feelings, except that I knew before we ever got together that he had CF. When he was in high school, a girl he was interested in who was interested in him walked away from him when she found out he had CF. Her loss. I've never met anyone like my boyfriend and I love him more than words can say. He has had a lifetime to get used to the idea that his expiry date could be much sooner than most other peoples'. It still bothers me, after a year of being together. I know he's going to die. I know I'M going to die. But the thought of him dying young and my having to live without him breaks my heart and scares me badly. He jokes about not being around in five years, but while I know he needs to have a sense of humour about it, I just can't joke about his death. He is 32 years old, and he could go at any time, really. I try hard to take care of him, because god knows he doesn't try too hard to take care of himself. That also scares me. He's gotten better in the time we've been together but he could do better still. Part of me resents that--aren't I important enough to stick around for? Often I feel so selfish for feeling what I feel. He's often tired and doesn't have the energy to do things. Most of the time, I understand and it doesn't bother me, but I resent his tiredness when I want to be intimate and he'd rather snooze. I know that's selfish, and then I feel guilty on top of it all. I try hard to put his needs ahead of my own, but sometimes I get quiet and withdrawn and he gets angry at me for it. But I don't want to tell him the problem because I don't want him to feel bad, and, well, you get the idea. I feel so bad when he wakes up coughing....I wish I could take on the disease for him, just to give him a break. I admire how strong he is for dealing with his CF and his positive attitude toward it. But sometimes I get angry at him for not taking care of himself, and I probably mother him too much. I don't want to coddle him and make him feel like a little kid, but I want to take care of him. I try to cram in lots of affection while we can, but then he gets annoyed at my clingyness. I just can't seem to find the right balance to suit both of us. I know all couples struggle at times, but the CF can make things worse. I think it takes strong people on both sides--those who have it and those who love them--to make things work. While it's often hard, the reward is tremendous. And while it scares me terribly to know he could die very young, at least we got the time we had, which is more than some people get. Doesn't make things much easier though. Nothing does. But I am glad that others feel what I feel--at least I'm not alone.
I'm glad to read these posts! My boyfriend has CF, and marmarmar has pretty much echoed a lot of my feelings, except that I knew before we ever got together that he had CF. When he was in high school, a girl he was interested in who was interested in him walked away from him when she found out he had CF. Her loss. I've never met anyone like my boyfriend and I love him more than words can say. He has had a lifetime to get used to the idea that his expiry date could be much sooner than most other peoples'. It still bothers me, after a year of being together. I know he's going to die. I know I'M going to die. But the thought of him dying young and my having to live without him breaks my heart and scares me badly. He jokes about not being around in five years, but while I know he needs to have a sense of humour about it, I just can't joke about his death. He is 32 years old, and he could go at any time, really. I try hard to take care of him, because god knows he doesn't try too hard to take care of himself. That also scares me. He's gotten better in the time we've been together but he could do better still. Part of me resents that--aren't I important enough to stick around for? Often I feel so selfish for feeling what I feel. He's often tired and doesn't have the energy to do things. Most of the time, I understand and it doesn't bother me, but I resent his tiredness when I want to be intimate and he'd rather snooze. I know that's selfish, and then I feel guilty on top of it all. I try hard to put his needs ahead of my own, but sometimes I get quiet and withdrawn and he gets angry at me for it. But I don't want to tell him the problem because I don't want him to feel bad, and, well, you get the idea. I feel so bad when he wakes up coughing....I wish I could take on the disease for him, just to give him a break. I admire how strong he is for dealing with his CF and his positive attitude toward it. But sometimes I get angry at him for not taking care of himself, and I probably mother him too much. I don't want to coddle him and make him feel like a little kid, but I want to take care of him. I try to cram in lots of affection while we can, but then he gets annoyed at my clingyness. I just can't seem to find the right balance to suit both of us. I know all couples struggle at times, but the CF can make things worse. I think it takes strong people on both sides--those who have it and those who love them--to make things work. While it's often hard, the reward is tremendous. And while it scares me terribly to know he could die very young, at least we got the time we had, which is more than some people get. Doesn't make things much easier though. Nothing does. But I am glad that others feel what I feel--at least I'm not alone.
grassisgreener
New member
Obviously this is an emotional time for you as you sort through all of this new info. Once you are ready to learn more about CF, there is a LOT of info on the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation website: www.cff.org you will find info on the latest research (which is very exciting and encouraging) and also info on treatments, fundraising, etc. Also, each year the foundation holds a big conference where trial outcomes are shared, new treatments are discussed, etc etc. It is all very interesting. Here is the link to 3+ hours of video from the 2008 conference which is very exciting (talks about life expectancy among many other topics): <a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.cff.org/research/NACFC/
">http://www.cff.org/research/NACFC/
</a>
Lastly, this may be the mom in me, but please stop smoking and take care of yourself. Even if he didn't have CF there would most likely be times in his life (and you future children should you have them) that he will need you to be in good shape. Just keep in mind how hard he has to work to keep his lungs healthy and try to honor that by not causing damage to yours.
">http://www.cff.org/research/NACFC/
</a>
Lastly, this may be the mom in me, but please stop smoking and take care of yourself. Even if he didn't have CF there would most likely be times in his life (and you future children should you have them) that he will need you to be in good shape. Just keep in mind how hard he has to work to keep his lungs healthy and try to honor that by not causing damage to yours.
grassisgreener
New member
Obviously this is an emotional time for you as you sort through all of this new info. Once you are ready to learn more about CF, there is a LOT of info on the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation website: www.cff.org you will find info on the latest research (which is very exciting and encouraging) and also info on treatments, fundraising, etc. Also, each year the foundation holds a big conference where trial outcomes are shared, new treatments are discussed, etc etc. It is all very interesting. Here is the link to 3+ hours of video from the 2008 conference which is very exciting (talks about life expectancy among many other topics): <a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.cff.org/research/NACFC/
">http://www.cff.org/research/NACFC/
</a>
Lastly, this may be the mom in me, but please stop smoking and take care of yourself. Even if he didn't have CF there would most likely be times in his life (and you future children should you have them) that he will need you to be in good shape. Just keep in mind how hard he has to work to keep his lungs healthy and try to honor that by not causing damage to yours.
">http://www.cff.org/research/NACFC/
</a>
Lastly, this may be the mom in me, but please stop smoking and take care of yourself. Even if he didn't have CF there would most likely be times in his life (and you future children should you have them) that he will need you to be in good shape. Just keep in mind how hard he has to work to keep his lungs healthy and try to honor that by not causing damage to yours.
grassisgreener
New member
Obviously this is an emotional time for you as you sort through all of this new info. Once you are ready to learn more about CF, there is a LOT of info on the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation website: www.cff.org you will find info on the latest research (which is very exciting and encouraging) and also info on treatments, fundraising, etc. Also, each year the foundation holds a big conference where trial outcomes are shared, new treatments are discussed, etc etc. It is all very interesting. Here is the link to 3+ hours of video from the 2008 conference which is very exciting (talks about life expectancy among many other topics): <a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.cff.org/research/NACFC/
">http://www.cff.org/research/NACFC/
</a>
Lastly, this may be the mom in me, but please stop smoking and take care of yourself. Even if he didn't have CF there would most likely be times in his life (and you future children should you have them) that he will need you to be in good shape. Just keep in mind how hard he has to work to keep his lungs healthy and try to honor that by not causing damage to yours.
">http://www.cff.org/research/NACFC/
</a>
Lastly, this may be the mom in me, but please stop smoking and take care of yourself. Even if he didn't have CF there would most likely be times in his life (and you future children should you have them) that he will need you to be in good shape. Just keep in mind how hard he has to work to keep his lungs healthy and try to honor that by not causing damage to yours.
grassisgreener
New member
Obviously this is an emotional time for you as you sort through all of this new info. Once you are ready to learn more about CF, there is a LOT of info on the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation website: www.cff.org you will find info on the latest research (which is very exciting and encouraging) and also info on treatments, fundraising, etc. Also, each year the foundation holds a big conference where trial outcomes are shared, new treatments are discussed, etc etc. It is all very interesting. Here is the link to 3+ hours of video from the 2008 conference which is very exciting (talks about life expectancy among many other topics): <a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.cff.org/research/NACFC/
">http://www.cff.org/research/NACFC/
</a>
Lastly, this may be the mom in me, but please stop smoking and take care of yourself. Even if he didn't have CF there would most likely be times in his life (and you future children should you have them) that he will need you to be in good shape. Just keep in mind how hard he has to work to keep his lungs healthy and try to honor that by not causing damage to yours.
">http://www.cff.org/research/NACFC/
</a>
Lastly, this may be the mom in me, but please stop smoking and take care of yourself. Even if he didn't have CF there would most likely be times in his life (and you future children should you have them) that he will need you to be in good shape. Just keep in mind how hard he has to work to keep his lungs healthy and try to honor that by not causing damage to yours.
grassisgreener
New member
Obviously this is an emotional time for you as you sort through all of this new info. Once you are ready to learn more about CF, there is a LOT of info on the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation website: www.cff.org you will find info on the latest research (which is very exciting and encouraging) and also info on treatments, fundraising, etc. Also, each year the foundation holds a big conference where trial outcomes are shared, new treatments are discussed, etc etc. It is all very interesting. Here is the link to 3+ hours of video from the 2008 conference which is very exciting (talks about life expectancy among many other topics): <a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.cff.org/research/NACFC/
">http://www.cff.org/research/NACFC/
</a><br />
<br />Lastly, this may be the mom in me, but please stop smoking and take care of yourself. Even if he didn't have CF there would most likely be times in his life (and you future children should you have them) that he will need you to be in good shape. Just keep in mind how hard he has to work to keep his lungs healthy and try to honor that by not causing damage to yours.
">http://www.cff.org/research/NACFC/
</a><br />
<br />Lastly, this may be the mom in me, but please stop smoking and take care of yourself. Even if he didn't have CF there would most likely be times in his life (and you future children should you have them) that he will need you to be in good shape. Just keep in mind how hard he has to work to keep his lungs healthy and try to honor that by not causing damage to yours.
Melissa856
New member
MarMarMar-
Just to let you know, I too was in a similiar situation. I have been going out with my boyfriend over four years now. I did not know at the time when we first started going out that he had cystic fibrosis. I have to be honest that I felt the same exact way at first. I also smoked in front of him without knowing at the time, etc.. Same exact situation. I know the feeling of feeling "selfish" that someday he will not be here with me. Prepare yourself for many Dr. visits in the future, my boyfriend likes me to go with him to many of them, (if I can go) Also, I have felt stressed with working full-time and school full-time and worrying about him. I couldn't been more glad that our relationship is good, and we are still together. It's also helps if he is open with you about things, ask alot of questions if you do not know. I ask him something new almost everyday (along with my research on CF)Just a question, but do neb treatments, enzymes yet?
Just to let you know, I too was in a similiar situation. I have been going out with my boyfriend over four years now. I did not know at the time when we first started going out that he had cystic fibrosis. I have to be honest that I felt the same exact way at first. I also smoked in front of him without knowing at the time, etc.. Same exact situation. I know the feeling of feeling "selfish" that someday he will not be here with me. Prepare yourself for many Dr. visits in the future, my boyfriend likes me to go with him to many of them, (if I can go) Also, I have felt stressed with working full-time and school full-time and worrying about him. I couldn't been more glad that our relationship is good, and we are still together. It's also helps if he is open with you about things, ask alot of questions if you do not know. I ask him something new almost everyday (along with my research on CF)Just a question, but do neb treatments, enzymes yet?
Melissa856
New member
MarMarMar-
Just to let you know, I too was in a similiar situation. I have been going out with my boyfriend over four years now. I did not know at the time when we first started going out that he had cystic fibrosis. I have to be honest that I felt the same exact way at first. I also smoked in front of him without knowing at the time, etc.. Same exact situation. I know the feeling of feeling "selfish" that someday he will not be here with me. Prepare yourself for many Dr. visits in the future, my boyfriend likes me to go with him to many of them, (if I can go) Also, I have felt stressed with working full-time and school full-time and worrying about him. I couldn't been more glad that our relationship is good, and we are still together. It's also helps if he is open with you about things, ask alot of questions if you do not know. I ask him something new almost everyday (along with my research on CF)Just a question, but do neb treatments, enzymes yet?
Just to let you know, I too was in a similiar situation. I have been going out with my boyfriend over four years now. I did not know at the time when we first started going out that he had cystic fibrosis. I have to be honest that I felt the same exact way at first. I also smoked in front of him without knowing at the time, etc.. Same exact situation. I know the feeling of feeling "selfish" that someday he will not be here with me. Prepare yourself for many Dr. visits in the future, my boyfriend likes me to go with him to many of them, (if I can go) Also, I have felt stressed with working full-time and school full-time and worrying about him. I couldn't been more glad that our relationship is good, and we are still together. It's also helps if he is open with you about things, ask alot of questions if you do not know. I ask him something new almost everyday (along with my research on CF)Just a question, but do neb treatments, enzymes yet?
Melissa856
New member
MarMarMar-
Just to let you know, I too was in a similiar situation. I have been going out with my boyfriend over four years now. I did not know at the time when we first started going out that he had cystic fibrosis. I have to be honest that I felt the same exact way at first. I also smoked in front of him without knowing at the time, etc.. Same exact situation. I know the feeling of feeling "selfish" that someday he will not be here with me. Prepare yourself for many Dr. visits in the future, my boyfriend likes me to go with him to many of them, (if I can go) Also, I have felt stressed with working full-time and school full-time and worrying about him. I couldn't been more glad that our relationship is good, and we are still together. It's also helps if he is open with you about things, ask alot of questions if you do not know. I ask him something new almost everyday (along with my research on CF)Just a question, but do neb treatments, enzymes yet?
Just to let you know, I too was in a similiar situation. I have been going out with my boyfriend over four years now. I did not know at the time when we first started going out that he had cystic fibrosis. I have to be honest that I felt the same exact way at first. I also smoked in front of him without knowing at the time, etc.. Same exact situation. I know the feeling of feeling "selfish" that someday he will not be here with me. Prepare yourself for many Dr. visits in the future, my boyfriend likes me to go with him to many of them, (if I can go) Also, I have felt stressed with working full-time and school full-time and worrying about him. I couldn't been more glad that our relationship is good, and we are still together. It's also helps if he is open with you about things, ask alot of questions if you do not know. I ask him something new almost everyday (along with my research on CF)Just a question, but do neb treatments, enzymes yet?
Melissa856
New member
MarMarMar-
Just to let you know, I too was in a similiar situation. I have been going out with my boyfriend over four years now. I did not know at the time when we first started going out that he had cystic fibrosis. I have to be honest that I felt the same exact way at first. I also smoked in front of him without knowing at the time, etc.. Same exact situation. I know the feeling of feeling "selfish" that someday he will not be here with me. Prepare yourself for many Dr. visits in the future, my boyfriend likes me to go with him to many of them, (if I can go) Also, I have felt stressed with working full-time and school full-time and worrying about him. I couldn't been more glad that our relationship is good, and we are still together. It's also helps if he is open with you about things, ask alot of questions if you do not know. I ask him something new almost everyday (along with my research on CF)Just a question, but do neb treatments, enzymes yet?
Just to let you know, I too was in a similiar situation. I have been going out with my boyfriend over four years now. I did not know at the time when we first started going out that he had cystic fibrosis. I have to be honest that I felt the same exact way at first. I also smoked in front of him without knowing at the time, etc.. Same exact situation. I know the feeling of feeling "selfish" that someday he will not be here with me. Prepare yourself for many Dr. visits in the future, my boyfriend likes me to go with him to many of them, (if I can go) Also, I have felt stressed with working full-time and school full-time and worrying about him. I couldn't been more glad that our relationship is good, and we are still together. It's also helps if he is open with you about things, ask alot of questions if you do not know. I ask him something new almost everyday (along with my research on CF)Just a question, but do neb treatments, enzymes yet?
Melissa856
New member
MarMarMar-
<br />Just to let you know, I too was in a similiar situation. I have been going out with my boyfriend over four years now. I did not know at the time when we first started going out that he had cystic fibrosis. I have to be honest that I felt the same exact way at first. I also smoked in front of him without knowing at the time, etc.. Same exact situation. I know the feeling of feeling "selfish" that someday he will not be here with me. Prepare yourself for many Dr. visits in the future, my boyfriend likes me to go with him to many of them, (if I can go) Also, I have felt stressed with working full-time and school full-time and worrying about him. I couldn't been more glad that our relationship is good, and we are still together. It's also helps if he is open with you about things, ask alot of questions if you do not know. I ask him something new almost everyday (along with my research on CF)Just a question, but do neb treatments, enzymes yet?
<br />Just to let you know, I too was in a similiar situation. I have been going out with my boyfriend over four years now. I did not know at the time when we first started going out that he had cystic fibrosis. I have to be honest that I felt the same exact way at first. I also smoked in front of him without knowing at the time, etc.. Same exact situation. I know the feeling of feeling "selfish" that someday he will not be here with me. Prepare yourself for many Dr. visits in the future, my boyfriend likes me to go with him to many of them, (if I can go) Also, I have felt stressed with working full-time and school full-time and worrying about him. I couldn't been more glad that our relationship is good, and we are still together. It's also helps if he is open with you about things, ask alot of questions if you do not know. I ask him something new almost everyday (along with my research on CF)Just a question, but do neb treatments, enzymes yet?
serendipity730
New member
Marmarmar,
Just out of curiosity, how long had you been together before he told you? I think it is okay to hold off on telling for maybe up to a month (not sure what other CFers think about that..) Even as I get older and am MUCH more comfortable with having CF, it is still difficult/awkward telling new people. Caring deeply for them would raise the stakes even more. Fortunately, my husband and I were friends before we dated. He had already heard about my CF through the grape vine, so he had some idea of what he was getting into...haha.
To really get a handle on how good your bf's lung function is, you would have to ask him what his pulmonary function tests are (specifically his FEV1). This will give you a true picture of whether his disease is mild or not. Even if his disease is mild and his lung function is good, he needs to do chest pt, nebulizer treatments, and meds to keep it that way. Unfortunately, Sakem is right. It is not particularly realistic to believe that someone with CF is going to live into their 70's...and I am a strong believer in being realistic. That being said...people with CF are living longer and longer. When I was born, the avg life expectancy was 18 - now it is 37.
I wish you the best of luck. I am glad that you found our community here. I really commend you for quitting smoking too! If nothing else, this relationship has made you make a healthy decision for yourself.
Just out of curiosity, how long had you been together before he told you? I think it is okay to hold off on telling for maybe up to a month (not sure what other CFers think about that..) Even as I get older and am MUCH more comfortable with having CF, it is still difficult/awkward telling new people. Caring deeply for them would raise the stakes even more. Fortunately, my husband and I were friends before we dated. He had already heard about my CF through the grape vine, so he had some idea of what he was getting into...haha.
To really get a handle on how good your bf's lung function is, you would have to ask him what his pulmonary function tests are (specifically his FEV1). This will give you a true picture of whether his disease is mild or not. Even if his disease is mild and his lung function is good, he needs to do chest pt, nebulizer treatments, and meds to keep it that way. Unfortunately, Sakem is right. It is not particularly realistic to believe that someone with CF is going to live into their 70's...and I am a strong believer in being realistic. That being said...people with CF are living longer and longer. When I was born, the avg life expectancy was 18 - now it is 37.
I wish you the best of luck. I am glad that you found our community here. I really commend you for quitting smoking too! If nothing else, this relationship has made you make a healthy decision for yourself.
serendipity730
New member
Marmarmar,
Just out of curiosity, how long had you been together before he told you? I think it is okay to hold off on telling for maybe up to a month (not sure what other CFers think about that..) Even as I get older and am MUCH more comfortable with having CF, it is still difficult/awkward telling new people. Caring deeply for them would raise the stakes even more. Fortunately, my husband and I were friends before we dated. He had already heard about my CF through the grape vine, so he had some idea of what he was getting into...haha.
To really get a handle on how good your bf's lung function is, you would have to ask him what his pulmonary function tests are (specifically his FEV1). This will give you a true picture of whether his disease is mild or not. Even if his disease is mild and his lung function is good, he needs to do chest pt, nebulizer treatments, and meds to keep it that way. Unfortunately, Sakem is right. It is not particularly realistic to believe that someone with CF is going to live into their 70's...and I am a strong believer in being realistic. That being said...people with CF are living longer and longer. When I was born, the avg life expectancy was 18 - now it is 37.
I wish you the best of luck. I am glad that you found our community here. I really commend you for quitting smoking too! If nothing else, this relationship has made you make a healthy decision for yourself.
Just out of curiosity, how long had you been together before he told you? I think it is okay to hold off on telling for maybe up to a month (not sure what other CFers think about that..) Even as I get older and am MUCH more comfortable with having CF, it is still difficult/awkward telling new people. Caring deeply for them would raise the stakes even more. Fortunately, my husband and I were friends before we dated. He had already heard about my CF through the grape vine, so he had some idea of what he was getting into...haha.
To really get a handle on how good your bf's lung function is, you would have to ask him what his pulmonary function tests are (specifically his FEV1). This will give you a true picture of whether his disease is mild or not. Even if his disease is mild and his lung function is good, he needs to do chest pt, nebulizer treatments, and meds to keep it that way. Unfortunately, Sakem is right. It is not particularly realistic to believe that someone with CF is going to live into their 70's...and I am a strong believer in being realistic. That being said...people with CF are living longer and longer. When I was born, the avg life expectancy was 18 - now it is 37.
I wish you the best of luck. I am glad that you found our community here. I really commend you for quitting smoking too! If nothing else, this relationship has made you make a healthy decision for yourself.
serendipity730
New member
Marmarmar,
Just out of curiosity, how long had you been together before he told you? I think it is okay to hold off on telling for maybe up to a month (not sure what other CFers think about that..) Even as I get older and am MUCH more comfortable with having CF, it is still difficult/awkward telling new people. Caring deeply for them would raise the stakes even more. Fortunately, my husband and I were friends before we dated. He had already heard about my CF through the grape vine, so he had some idea of what he was getting into...haha.
To really get a handle on how good your bf's lung function is, you would have to ask him what his pulmonary function tests are (specifically his FEV1). This will give you a true picture of whether his disease is mild or not. Even if his disease is mild and his lung function is good, he needs to do chest pt, nebulizer treatments, and meds to keep it that way. Unfortunately, Sakem is right. It is not particularly realistic to believe that someone with CF is going to live into their 70's...and I am a strong believer in being realistic. That being said...people with CF are living longer and longer. When I was born, the avg life expectancy was 18 - now it is 37.
I wish you the best of luck. I am glad that you found our community here. I really commend you for quitting smoking too! If nothing else, this relationship has made you make a healthy decision for yourself.
Just out of curiosity, how long had you been together before he told you? I think it is okay to hold off on telling for maybe up to a month (not sure what other CFers think about that..) Even as I get older and am MUCH more comfortable with having CF, it is still difficult/awkward telling new people. Caring deeply for them would raise the stakes even more. Fortunately, my husband and I were friends before we dated. He had already heard about my CF through the grape vine, so he had some idea of what he was getting into...haha.
To really get a handle on how good your bf's lung function is, you would have to ask him what his pulmonary function tests are (specifically his FEV1). This will give you a true picture of whether his disease is mild or not. Even if his disease is mild and his lung function is good, he needs to do chest pt, nebulizer treatments, and meds to keep it that way. Unfortunately, Sakem is right. It is not particularly realistic to believe that someone with CF is going to live into their 70's...and I am a strong believer in being realistic. That being said...people with CF are living longer and longer. When I was born, the avg life expectancy was 18 - now it is 37.
I wish you the best of luck. I am glad that you found our community here. I really commend you for quitting smoking too! If nothing else, this relationship has made you make a healthy decision for yourself.
serendipity730
New member
Marmarmar,
Just out of curiosity, how long had you been together before he told you? I think it is okay to hold off on telling for maybe up to a month (not sure what other CFers think about that..) Even as I get older and am MUCH more comfortable with having CF, it is still difficult/awkward telling new people. Caring deeply for them would raise the stakes even more. Fortunately, my husband and I were friends before we dated. He had already heard about my CF through the grape vine, so he had some idea of what he was getting into...haha.
To really get a handle on how good your bf's lung function is, you would have to ask him what his pulmonary function tests are (specifically his FEV1). This will give you a true picture of whether his disease is mild or not. Even if his disease is mild and his lung function is good, he needs to do chest pt, nebulizer treatments, and meds to keep it that way. Unfortunately, Sakem is right. It is not particularly realistic to believe that someone with CF is going to live into their 70's...and I am a strong believer in being realistic. That being said...people with CF are living longer and longer. When I was born, the avg life expectancy was 18 - now it is 37.
I wish you the best of luck. I am glad that you found our community here. I really commend you for quitting smoking too! If nothing else, this relationship has made you make a healthy decision for yourself.
Just out of curiosity, how long had you been together before he told you? I think it is okay to hold off on telling for maybe up to a month (not sure what other CFers think about that..) Even as I get older and am MUCH more comfortable with having CF, it is still difficult/awkward telling new people. Caring deeply for them would raise the stakes even more. Fortunately, my husband and I were friends before we dated. He had already heard about my CF through the grape vine, so he had some idea of what he was getting into...haha.
To really get a handle on how good your bf's lung function is, you would have to ask him what his pulmonary function tests are (specifically his FEV1). This will give you a true picture of whether his disease is mild or not. Even if his disease is mild and his lung function is good, he needs to do chest pt, nebulizer treatments, and meds to keep it that way. Unfortunately, Sakem is right. It is not particularly realistic to believe that someone with CF is going to live into their 70's...and I am a strong believer in being realistic. That being said...people with CF are living longer and longer. When I was born, the avg life expectancy was 18 - now it is 37.
I wish you the best of luck. I am glad that you found our community here. I really commend you for quitting smoking too! If nothing else, this relationship has made you make a healthy decision for yourself.
serendipity730
New member
Marmarmar,
<br />
<br />Just out of curiosity, how long had you been together before he told you? I think it is okay to hold off on telling for maybe up to a month (not sure what other CFers think about that..) Even as I get older and am MUCH more comfortable with having CF, it is still difficult/awkward telling new people. Caring deeply for them would raise the stakes even more. Fortunately, my husband and I were friends before we dated. He had already heard about my CF through the grape vine, so he had some idea of what he was getting into...haha.
<br />
<br />To really get a handle on how good your bf's lung function is, you would have to ask him what his pulmonary function tests are (specifically his FEV1). This will give you a true picture of whether his disease is mild or not. Even if his disease is mild and his lung function is good, he needs to do chest pt, nebulizer treatments, and meds to keep it that way. Unfortunately, Sakem is right. It is not particularly realistic to believe that someone with CF is going to live into their 70's...and I am a strong believer in being realistic. That being said...people with CF are living longer and longer. When I was born, the avg life expectancy was 18 - now it is 37.
<br />
<br />I wish you the best of luck. I am glad that you found our community here. I really commend you for quitting smoking too! If nothing else, this relationship has made you make a healthy decision for yourself.
<br />
<br />Just out of curiosity, how long had you been together before he told you? I think it is okay to hold off on telling for maybe up to a month (not sure what other CFers think about that..) Even as I get older and am MUCH more comfortable with having CF, it is still difficult/awkward telling new people. Caring deeply for them would raise the stakes even more. Fortunately, my husband and I were friends before we dated. He had already heard about my CF through the grape vine, so he had some idea of what he was getting into...haha.
<br />
<br />To really get a handle on how good your bf's lung function is, you would have to ask him what his pulmonary function tests are (specifically his FEV1). This will give you a true picture of whether his disease is mild or not. Even if his disease is mild and his lung function is good, he needs to do chest pt, nebulizer treatments, and meds to keep it that way. Unfortunately, Sakem is right. It is not particularly realistic to believe that someone with CF is going to live into their 70's...and I am a strong believer in being realistic. That being said...people with CF are living longer and longer. When I was born, the avg life expectancy was 18 - now it is 37.
<br />
<br />I wish you the best of luck. I am glad that you found our community here. I really commend you for quitting smoking too! If nothing else, this relationship has made you make a healthy decision for yourself.