living alone and being sick

[rarab43]

I am a mom to a 25 yr old with CF and I know he would hate to move home -He is pretty self sufficient - I help him some with cleaning and more things if hes sick. I was wondering if maybe you could find someone to volunteer some to help you- I know if I knew of someone who needed help I would be glad to. Is there a church you could ask or maybe some close friends? I live in a town recently devastated by tornados and the volunteer effort has been wonderful. It just makes people feel good to help when they can. Hoping you can find a solution to get help while being able to stay in your home.<BR>

 

[JustDucky]

Hi Erin...I am a single CF mom, my son is nearly 18 and my daughter is on her own. I too am living on SSDI as well as a LTD policy from my hospital, so that helps as far as income as I don't work. My lungs are very unpredictable, working would make things worse. I am also O2 dependent, and vented part time and of course, have all of the CF treatments that we must do.

So, what do I do when I get sick? I call on my friends and family. I have learned the hard way that I cannot do this alone. If you have family or friends close to you, please call them. Most of the time, they are more than happy to help out. When I get sick, I usually wind up inpatient at least for a few weeks, often longer. While away, my pets are cared for (between my mom and son, my dog and two kitties are fed, pottied, and hopefully loved) my son gets to school and the necessary bills are paid. Once I get home, I am very weak and often on IV's....so, pretty much useless in any capacity except for writing out bills and sleeping. My mom will come by and see if I need any groceries or things done in the apartment. My son also helps so it doesn't become too overwhelming for me.

You are absolutely not over reacting....it is very hard to live alone when you are sick. Are there any volunteer groups (churches sometimes have them) that will help with lawns of people with disabilities? Even if that one thing can be taken care of for you, that would make a difference in some way. I also know how hard it is to move back with your parents, I had to when I was vented 6 years ago. I really had no other choice, my husband left (he couldn't handle my illness) and I was alone, very sick (totally wheelchair dependent then as well) and a single mom. I needed my mom's help, and so I moved in with her. It was not easy, but it was necessary. I am a fiercely independent woman, to move back into my mom's was hard admittedly. I lived with her for about 4 years until my health improved to the point where I could take care of myself reasonably when I am stable. It is good that your parents are on standby just in case for you, if things get really hard, then it is good that you have that option as hard as it is..

I hope things work out for you, sending you hugs
Jenn

 

[JustDucky]

Hi Erin...I am a single CF mom, my son is nearly 18 and my daughter is on her own. I too am living on SSDI as well as a LTD policy from my hospital, so that helps as far as income as I don't work. My lungs are very unpredictable, working would make things worse. I am also O2 dependent, and vented part time and of course, have all of the CF treatments that we must do.

So, what do I do when I get sick? I call on my friends and family. I have learned the hard way that I cannot do this alone. If you have family or friends close to you, please call them. Most of the time, they are more than happy to help out. When I get sick, I usually wind up inpatient at least for a few weeks, often longer. While away, my pets are cared for (between my mom and son, my dog and two kitties are fed, pottied, and hopefully loved) my son gets to school and the necessary bills are paid. Once I get home, I am very weak and often on IV's....so, pretty much useless in any capacity except for writing out bills and sleeping. My mom will come by and see if I need any groceries or things done in the apartment. My son also helps so it doesn't become too overwhelming for me.

You are absolutely not over reacting....it is very hard to live alone when you are sick. Are there any volunteer groups (churches sometimes have them) that will help with lawns of people with disabilities? Even if that one thing can be taken care of for you, that would make a difference in some way. I also know how hard it is to move back with your parents, I had to when I was vented 6 years ago. I really had no other choice, my husband left (he couldn't handle my illness) and I was alone, very sick (totally wheelchair dependent then as well) and a single mom. I needed my mom's help, and so I moved in with her. It was not easy, but it was necessary. I am a fiercely independent woman, to move back into my mom's was hard admittedly. I lived with her for about 4 years until my health improved to the point where I could take care of myself reasonably when I am stable. It is good that your parents are on standby just in case for you, if things get really hard, then it is good that you have that option as hard as it is..

I hope things work out for you, sending you hugs
Jenn

 

[JustDucky]

Hi Erin...I am a single CF mom, my son is nearly 18 and my daughter is on her own. I too am living on SSDI as well as a LTD policy from my hospital, so that helps as far as income as I don't work. My lungs are very unpredictable, working would make things worse. I am also O2 dependent, and vented part time and of course, have all of the CF treatments that we must do.
<br />
<br />So, what do I do when I get sick? I call on my friends and family. I have learned the hard way that I cannot do this alone. If you have family or friends close to you, please call them. Most of the time, they are more than happy to help out. When I get sick, I usually wind up inpatient at least for a few weeks, often longer. While away, my pets are cared for (between my mom and son, my dog and two kitties are fed, pottied, and hopefully loved) my son gets to school and the necessary bills are paid. Once I get home, I am very weak and often on IV's....so, pretty much useless in any capacity except for writing out bills and sleeping. My mom will come by and see if I need any groceries or things done in the apartment. My son also helps so it doesn't become too overwhelming for me.
<br />
<br />You are absolutely not over reacting....it is very hard to live alone when you are sick. Are there any volunteer groups (churches sometimes have them) that will help with lawns of people with disabilities? Even if that one thing can be taken care of for you, that would make a difference in some way. I also know how hard it is to move back with your parents, I had to when I was vented 6 years ago. I really had no other choice, my husband left (he couldn't handle my illness) and I was alone, very sick (totally wheelchair dependent then as well) and a single mom. I needed my mom's help, and so I moved in with her. It was not easy, but it was necessary. I am a fiercely independent woman, to move back into my mom's was hard admittedly. I lived with her for about 4 years until my health improved to the point where I could take care of myself reasonably when I am stable. It is good that your parents are on standby just in case for you, if things get really hard, then it is good that you have that option as hard as it is..
<br />
<br />I hope things work out for you, sending you hugs
<br />Jenn

 

[lilywing]

Hey hon,
SOOO sorry you are going through this, I understand all that you are saying. I would just try to hold off on making any major decisions about a move for a little while if you can. It is hard to move back with your parents (i've done it!). Can you see how the summer goes, who might step up to help you out? It will be tough, I know. Bringing in groceries is brutal. Sometimes, when I'm feeling especially rough, it is the main reason I want to find a new boyfriend lol But I just bring up the groceries one bag at a time. I live in a 3-level condo, so it takes hours some times! Just make sure to bring the ice cream up first! I just want you to know that I know what you are going through, and I also know that you will prove to yourself just how strong you can be.

 

[lilywing]

Hey hon,
SOOO sorry you are going through this, I understand all that you are saying. I would just try to hold off on making any major decisions about a move for a little while if you can. It is hard to move back with your parents (i've done it!). Can you see how the summer goes, who might step up to help you out? It will be tough, I know. Bringing in groceries is brutal. Sometimes, when I'm feeling especially rough, it is the main reason I want to find a new boyfriend lol But I just bring up the groceries one bag at a time. I live in a 3-level condo, so it takes hours some times! Just make sure to bring the ice cream up first! I just want you to know that I know what you are going through, and I also know that you will prove to yourself just how strong you can be.

 

[lilywing]

Hey hon,
<br />SOOO sorry you are going through this, I understand all that you are saying. I would just try to hold off on making any major decisions about a move for a little while if you can. It is hard to move back with your parents (i've done it!). Can you see how the summer goes, who might step up to help you out? It will be tough, I know. Bringing in groceries is brutal. Sometimes, when I'm feeling especially rough, it is the main reason I want to find a new boyfriend lol But I just bring up the groceries one bag at a time. I live in a 3-level condo, so it takes hours some times! Just make sure to bring the ice cream up first! I just want you to know that I know what you are going through, and I also know that you will prove to yourself just how strong you can be.

 

[theLostMiler]

I haven't read the most recent posts, but I just rememberd I wanted to ask you about grocery delievery? I think there is a website... peapod or something like that and you can search your city... also if you have Safeways where you live some stores offer delivery there too, and its only like $6!!!

I would type in grocery delivery in your town and see if anything pops up... that helps for something??

 

[theLostMiler]

I haven't read the most recent posts, but I just rememberd I wanted to ask you about grocery delievery? I think there is a website... peapod or something like that and you can search your city... also if you have Safeways where you live some stores offer delivery there too, and its only like $6!!!

I would type in grocery delivery in your town and see if anything pops up... that helps for something??

 

[theLostMiler]

I haven't read the most recent posts, but I just rememberd I wanted to ask you about grocery delievery? I think there is a website... peapod or something like that and you can search your city... also if you have Safeways where you live some stores offer delivery there too, and its only like $6!!!
<br />
<br />I would type in grocery delivery in your town and see if anything pops up... that helps for something??

 

[coltsfan715]

I have a few things mostly questions but some ideas as well. I am post transplant but was put into an almost identical situation to yours 2 years ago. I was engaged - we bought a place together and then he left me high and dry and I struggled for months to stay afloat.

Questions 1 - do you two own the place together - or are you renting together?
If the answer is yes then he is still financially obligated to assist you whether or not he lives there. Contact an attorney about this one if necessary he DOES owe you until you can get things situated with the home.

Question 2 - where do you live?
I know there is a grocery store here in Florida - and I believe Georgia as well - that will deliver food to your home for free. If you were to go to the store and talk to a manager about your situation they could arrange it for you. It may be something that other stores would be capable of doing or willing to do to help out. Here someone just follows you home and unloads everything for you. Just a thought.

Laundry - try putting a clothes hamper downstairs and take each days dirties down each day. It will lessen what you have to carry down the stairs ... heck throw them down the stairs if you don't want to walk and just leave them in a pile until you feel up to going down there. Who cares if it is messy. Do the same thing with bringing them upstairs. When you do laundry make a pile and bring a few items upstairs everyday or when you have good energy.

Yard work - ask your neighbors. If any of them have children I am sure that a young kid would cut your lawn for next to nothing, maybe in the 13-15 age range. Also something to consider, I am not sure how close you are with your neighbors but talk to them. My dad used to cut his neighbors lawn for free all the time because she was unable to cut it herself, was a widow and with failing health. There are good people out there and they may be willing to help you out.

Get in touch with you family and friends. I lived alone for a brief time in my old house, before I was able to legally force my ex to take it and give me the money back that I had put into it after he left and paid nothing. I am still recovering financially, but I am doing okay. I relied on my neighbors and family and friends a lot of the time. I would call someone everyday and talk briefly so they knew I was okay. I too have CFRD and had low blood sugar issues. If I went a day without my mom or my best friend hearing from me I would be inundated with calls or have someone at my door checking on me.

Give someone a spare key or multiple someones - so if they can't get in touch with you they can come check on you and get it even if you don't answer. You definitely need to have a support system set up and a just an emergency contact or two. I had the ability to call either of my parents or my 2 of my best friends at any time of day or night in case I got sick and needed someone to take me to the hospital or something.

I am post transplant and I am living alone and I struggle to make it. Financially living alone is possible when you can get into a good situation. You are not in a good situation right now, so it is completely understandable that you are overwhelmed. My advice is to truly hold your ex responsible for his part of things. If he entered into a contract with you either by buying or renting a home, do NOT take on that full responsibility it could kill you. I was healthy when I was put in this situation and it almost pushed me to the brink letting my ex just have his way. I finally had to go to an attorney to get help standing up for myself. Most attorneys I talked to thought my ex was the devil for leaving me, with involved medical issues, to manage and finance a home he had purchased with me instead of manning up and helping out or taking the responsibility from me.

Allow yourself to ask for help. If you talk to your pharmacies and explain that you are wanting to pay them but are out of work they may be able to offer an assistance program. Also talk to your docs office. I know my old docs office has money set aside to help patients that are in need of assistance with medication, food or even travel expenses to and from clinic and things of that nature. There are outlets it is just a matter of taking the time to follow up with everyone and make sure that you are maximizing your benefits. Talk to a social worker too they can help tremendously and get you in touch with people that can help.

Good Luck and I am so sorry that you are having to go through all of this.

Lindsey

 

[coltsfan715]

I have a few things mostly questions but some ideas as well. I am post transplant but was put into an almost identical situation to yours 2 years ago. I was engaged - we bought a place together and then he left me high and dry and I struggled for months to stay afloat.

Questions 1 - do you two own the place together - or are you renting together?
If the answer is yes then he is still financially obligated to assist you whether or not he lives there. Contact an attorney about this one if necessary he DOES owe you until you can get things situated with the home.

Question 2 - where do you live?
I know there is a grocery store here in Florida - and I believe Georgia as well - that will deliver food to your home for free. If you were to go to the store and talk to a manager about your situation they could arrange it for you. It may be something that other stores would be capable of doing or willing to do to help out. Here someone just follows you home and unloads everything for you. Just a thought.

Laundry - try putting a clothes hamper downstairs and take each days dirties down each day. It will lessen what you have to carry down the stairs ... heck throw them down the stairs if you don't want to walk and just leave them in a pile until you feel up to going down there. Who cares if it is messy. Do the same thing with bringing them upstairs. When you do laundry make a pile and bring a few items upstairs everyday or when you have good energy.

Yard work - ask your neighbors. If any of them have children I am sure that a young kid would cut your lawn for next to nothing, maybe in the 13-15 age range. Also something to consider, I am not sure how close you are with your neighbors but talk to them. My dad used to cut his neighbors lawn for free all the time because she was unable to cut it herself, was a widow and with failing health. There are good people out there and they may be willing to help you out.

Get in touch with you family and friends. I lived alone for a brief time in my old house, before I was able to legally force my ex to take it and give me the money back that I had put into it after he left and paid nothing. I am still recovering financially, but I am doing okay. I relied on my neighbors and family and friends a lot of the time. I would call someone everyday and talk briefly so they knew I was okay. I too have CFRD and had low blood sugar issues. If I went a day without my mom or my best friend hearing from me I would be inundated with calls or have someone at my door checking on me.

Give someone a spare key or multiple someones - so if they can't get in touch with you they can come check on you and get it even if you don't answer. You definitely need to have a support system set up and a just an emergency contact or two. I had the ability to call either of my parents or my 2 of my best friends at any time of day or night in case I got sick and needed someone to take me to the hospital or something.

I am post transplant and I am living alone and I struggle to make it. Financially living alone is possible when you can get into a good situation. You are not in a good situation right now, so it is completely understandable that you are overwhelmed. My advice is to truly hold your ex responsible for his part of things. If he entered into a contract with you either by buying or renting a home, do NOT take on that full responsibility it could kill you. I was healthy when I was put in this situation and it almost pushed me to the brink letting my ex just have his way. I finally had to go to an attorney to get help standing up for myself. Most attorneys I talked to thought my ex was the devil for leaving me, with involved medical issues, to manage and finance a home he had purchased with me instead of manning up and helping out or taking the responsibility from me.

Allow yourself to ask for help. If you talk to your pharmacies and explain that you are wanting to pay them but are out of work they may be able to offer an assistance program. Also talk to your docs office. I know my old docs office has money set aside to help patients that are in need of assistance with medication, food or even travel expenses to and from clinic and things of that nature. There are outlets it is just a matter of taking the time to follow up with everyone and make sure that you are maximizing your benefits. Talk to a social worker too they can help tremendously and get you in touch with people that can help.

Good Luck and I am so sorry that you are having to go through all of this.

Lindsey

 

[coltsfan715]

I have a few things mostly questions but some ideas as well. I am post transplant but was put into an almost identical situation to yours 2 years ago. I was engaged - we bought a place together and then he left me high and dry and I struggled for months to stay afloat.
<br />
<br />Questions 1 - do you two own the place together - or are you renting together?
<br />If the answer is yes then he is still financially obligated to assist you whether or not he lives there. Contact an attorney about this one if necessary he DOES owe you until you can get things situated with the home.
<br />
<br />Question 2 - where do you live?
<br />I know there is a grocery store here in Florida - and I believe Georgia as well - that will deliver food to your home for free. If you were to go to the store and talk to a manager about your situation they could arrange it for you. It may be something that other stores would be capable of doing or willing to do to help out. Here someone just follows you home and unloads everything for you. Just a thought.
<br />
<br />Laundry - try putting a clothes hamper downstairs and take each days dirties down each day. It will lessen what you have to carry down the stairs ... heck throw them down the stairs if you don't want to walk and just leave them in a pile until you feel up to going down there. Who cares if it is messy. Do the same thing with bringing them upstairs. When you do laundry make a pile and bring a few items upstairs everyday or when you have good energy.
<br />
<br />Yard work - ask your neighbors. If any of them have children I am sure that a young kid would cut your lawn for next to nothing, maybe in the 13-15 age range. Also something to consider, I am not sure how close you are with your neighbors but talk to them. My dad used to cut his neighbors lawn for free all the time because she was unable to cut it herself, was a widow and with failing health. There are good people out there and they may be willing to help you out.
<br />
<br />Get in touch with you family and friends. I lived alone for a brief time in my old house, before I was able to legally force my ex to take it and give me the money back that I had put into it after he left and paid nothing. I am still recovering financially, but I am doing okay. I relied on my neighbors and family and friends a lot of the time. I would call someone everyday and talk briefly so they knew I was okay. I too have CFRD and had low blood sugar issues. If I went a day without my mom or my best friend hearing from me I would be inundated with calls or have someone at my door checking on me.
<br />
<br />Give someone a spare key or multiple someones - so if they can't get in touch with you they can come check on you and get it even if you don't answer. You definitely need to have a support system set up and a just an emergency contact or two. I had the ability to call either of my parents or my 2 of my best friends at any time of day or night in case I got sick and needed someone to take me to the hospital or something.
<br />
<br />I am post transplant and I am living alone and I struggle to make it. Financially living alone is possible when you can get into a good situation. You are not in a good situation right now, so it is completely understandable that you are overwhelmed. My advice is to truly hold your ex responsible for his part of things. If he entered into a contract with you either by buying or renting a home, do NOT take on that full responsibility it could kill you. I was healthy when I was put in this situation and it almost pushed me to the brink letting my ex just have his way. I finally had to go to an attorney to get help standing up for myself. Most attorneys I talked to thought my ex was the devil for leaving me, with involved medical issues, to manage and finance a home he had purchased with me instead of manning up and helping out or taking the responsibility from me.
<br />
<br />Allow yourself to ask for help. If you talk to your pharmacies and explain that you are wanting to pay them but are out of work they may be able to offer an assistance program. Also talk to your docs office. I know my old docs office has money set aside to help patients that are in need of assistance with medication, food or even travel expenses to and from clinic and things of that nature. There are outlets it is just a matter of taking the time to follow up with everyone and make sure that you are maximizing your benefits. Talk to a social worker too they can help tremendously and get you in touch with people that can help.
<br />
<br />Good Luck and I am so sorry that you are having to go through all of this.
<br />
<br />Lindsey

 

[theLostMiler]

For grocery delivery its peapod.com, i saw it fb from the spoonies page, but you dont look sick... I tried it but isnt in my area yet, i think you are midwest, east coast and seemed to bemore available over there, good luck!

 

[theLostMiler]

For grocery delivery its peapod.com, i saw it fb from the spoonies page, but you dont look sick... I tried it but isnt in my area yet, i think you are midwest, east coast and seemed to bemore available over there, good luck!

 

[theLostMiler]

For grocery delivery its peapod.com, i saw it fb from the spoonies page, but you dont look sick... I tried it but isnt in my area yet, i think you are midwest, east coast and seemed to bemore available over there, good luck!

 

[Tammy15]

<P>I am so sorry to hear of your struggles. I know when my daughter wanted to live alone with her son, I ended up going down to her place to clean put her laundry away,and bring her dirty clothes home to wash, it started  2 times a week but as she became more sick it was just about every day . After about a year and nore for financial reasons her and her son moved home . Reach out to your friends  and family. I am sure folks will help. If you lived in upstate NY I say PM me and I would have no problem helping. </P>
<P> </P>
<P>Tammy</P>

 

[Tammy15]

<P>I am so sorry to hear of your struggles. I know when my daughter wanted to live alone with her son, I ended up going down to her place to clean put her laundry away,and bring her dirty clothes home to wash,it started 2 times a week but as she became more sick it was just about every day . After about a year and nore for financial reasons her and her son moved home . Reach out to your friends and family. I am sure folks will help. If you lived in upstate NY I say PM me and I would have no problem helping. </P>
<P></P>
<P>Tammy</P>

 

[Tammy15]

<P><BR>I am so sorry to hear of your struggles. I know when my daughter wanted to live alone with her son, I ended up going down to her place to clean put her laundry away,and bring her dirty clothes home to wash,it started 2 times a week but as she became more sick it was just about every day . After about a year and nore for financial reasons her and her son moved home . Reach out to your friends and family. I am sure folks will help. If you lived in upstate NY I say PM me and I would have no problem helping. </P>
<P></P>
<P>Tammy</P>

 

[rarab43]

I thought of something else too- I think its Angel Food ministries -where you can get food and I think its pretty good for a lower price.  I know my mothers church was a distribution site for them at one time.  I also wondered if you were renting or if you own?  If you are renting maybe finding something with one floor where you werent responsible for lawn care.