living alone and being sick

[rarab43]

I thought of something else too- I think its Angel Food ministries -where you can get food and I think its pretty good for a lower price. I know my mothers church was a distribution site for them at one time. I also wondered if you were renting or if you own? If you are renting maybe finding something with one floor where you werent responsible for lawn care.

 

[rarab43]

<BR><BR>I thought of something else too- I think its Angel Food ministries -where you can get food and I think its pretty good for a lower price. I know my mothers church was a distribution site for them at one time. I also wondered if you were renting or if you own? If you are renting maybe finding something with one floor where you werent responsible for lawn care.

 

[Madsmith]

Ugh, I feel your pain. My lawn is grossly overgrown; my car is registered for the first time in a couple of years, but it's still falling apart; my dogs are well-fed but barely walked; I'm a few years behind on my dissertation; I hardly ever have the time to talk to my family; there are piles of laundry littering my house; I have no food in my refrigerator; my plants are dying; some bills may or may not be paid; my ants love dirty dishes; oops, I forgot to put the garbage out last night; I still forget my treatments from time to time; and etc!!!

The point is, that we are only one person, and there's only so much we can do - I gave up caring if my neighbors thought I was low-class a few years ago! I do the best I can. S@#t rolls downhill, and even the Mona Lisa is falling apart! I still take the time to paint, watch movies, and BBQ with my friends - these are the truly important things. I frequently wish I had a partner to help out, and am seriously envious of my friends who have such a life; but right now, I don't.

My advisor's spouse once complimented me on how well I organized I was with my life. I laughed and thought he was joking. But, I thought about it later, and realized that heck yes, I deserve some credit! So, it's okay to feel scared and overwhelmed - few people face the challenges that we do! Hell, you deserve a medal for dealing with life so honorably [maybe we can all start giving each other awards <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> ]

At some point you may need to move back in, and that's ok, there is no shame in that. My (almost) fiance left me too, and while it's tempting to blame myself, in truth I know it was her deal, not mine. I'm going to end this rambling post STAT.

 

[Madsmith]

Ugh, I feel your pain. My lawn is grossly overgrown; my car is registered for the first time in a couple of years, but it's still falling apart; my dogs are well-fed but barely walked; I'm a few years behind on my dissertation; I hardly ever have the time to talk to my family; there are piles of laundry littering my house; I have no food in my refrigerator; my plants are dying; some bills may or may not be paid; my ants love dirty dishes; oops, I forgot to put the garbage out last night; I still forget my treatments from time to time; and etc!!!

The point is, that we are only one person, and there's only so much we can do - I gave up caring if my neighbors thought I was low-class a few years ago! I do the best I can. S@#t rolls downhill, and even the Mona Lisa is falling apart! I still take the time to paint, watch movies, and BBQ with my friends - these are the truly important things. I frequently wish I had a partner to help out, and am seriously envious of my friends who have such a life; but right now, I don't.

My advisor's spouse once complimented me on how well I organized I was with my life. I laughed and thought he was joking. But, I thought about it later, and realized that heck yes, I deserve some credit! So, it's okay to feel scared and overwhelmed - few people face the challenges that we do! Hell, you deserve a medal for dealing with life so honorably [maybe we can all start giving each other awards <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> ]

At some point you may need to move back in, and that's ok, there is no shame in that. My (almost) fiance left me too, and while it's tempting to blame myself, in truth I know it was her deal, not mine. I'm going to end this rambling post STAT.

 

[Madsmith]

Ugh, I feel your pain. My lawn is grossly overgrown; my car is registered for the first time in a couple of years, but it's still falling apart; my dogs are well-fed but barely walked; I'm a few years behind on my dissertation; I hardly ever have the time to talk to my family; there are piles of laundry littering my house; I have no food in my refrigerator; my plants are dying; some bills may or may not be paid; my ants love dirty dishes; oops, I forgot to put the garbage out last night; I still forget my treatments from time to time; and etc!!!
<br />
<br />The point is, that we are only one person, and there's only so much we can do - I gave up caring if my neighbors thought I was low-class a few years ago! I do the best I can. S@#t rolls downhill, and even the Mona Lisa is falling apart! I still take the time to paint, watch movies, and BBQ with my friends - these are the truly important things. I frequently wish I had a partner to help out, and am seriously envious of my friends who have such a life; but right now, I don't.
<br />
<br />My advisor's spouse once complimented me on how well I organized I was with my life. I laughed and thought he was joking. But, I thought about it later, and realized that heck yes, I deserve some credit! So, it's okay to feel scared and overwhelmed - few people face the challenges that we do! Hell, you deserve a medal for dealing with life so honorably [maybe we can all start giving each other awards <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> ]
<br />
<br />At some point you may need to move back in, and that's ok, there is no shame in that. My (almost) fiance left me too, and while it's tempting to blame myself, in truth I know it was her deal, not mine. I'm going to end this rambling post STAT.
<br />
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[Madsmith]

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[Madsmith]

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[Madsmith]

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[AnnieT]

I agree with giving a spare key to someone you trust. thanks for posting peapod.com never heard of them

 

[AnnieT]

I agree with giving a spare key to someone you trust. thanks for posting peapod.com never heard of them

 

[AnnieT]

I agree with giving a spare key to someone you trust. thanks for posting peapod.com never heard of them

 

[kgfrompa]

I guess I will start off with you are not alone And I am so sorry that you have to struggle and I am sure hurt by letting go of your relationship.I am on SSD and by the time i pay my bills I have so little to get by on that I cant wait till the first of the month.I do get a gift from volteering for drug studies from time to time it helps me have hope in being able to see what is down the pike as far as new drugs. I had lived five hours away from my brothers and had to move closer to home so that i could keep my Dog Levi he is that inportant to me and i found that my sister in law takes good care of him when i need a tune up.Its hard I could not work even a part time job I have had 19 chest tubes and even though my fev is in the 79 I have no energy but i do feel so lucky to have the things in my life that give me blessing TV Computer friends books and hereing from you makes me know I am not alone I often wonder if I would be alive if I lived in a country that had no Meds.Its lonely so often I miss not having someone in my life but I look at what I have and know I am going to live this day the best I can and I am going to enjoy this day. Thank you so much and maybe you can look into agency I live in PA and we have ECO which help build ramps and replace AC and furnances all kinds of services I am hoping you find help.<br>

 

[kgfrompa]

I guess I will start off with you are not alone And I am so sorry that you have to struggle and I am sure hurt by letting go of your relationship.I am on SSD and by the time i pay my bills I have so little to get by on that I cant wait till the first of the month.I do get a gift from volteering for drug studies from time to time it helps me have hope in being able to see what is down the pike as far as new drugs. I had lived five hours away from my brothers and had to move closer to home so that i could keep my Dog Levi he is that inportant to me and i found that my sister in law takes good care of him when i need a tune up.Its hard I could not work even a part time job I have had 19 chest tubes and even though my fev is in the 79 I have no energy but i do feel so lucky to have the things in my life that give me blessing TV Computer friends books and hereing from you makes me know I am not alone I often wonder if I would be alive if I lived in a country that had no Meds.Its lonely so often I miss not having someone in my life but I look at what I have and know I am going to live this day the best I can and I am going to enjoy this day. Thank you so much and maybe you can look into agency I live in PA and we have ECO which help build ramps and replace AC and furnances all kinds of services I am hoping you find help.<br>

 

[kgfrompa]

I guess I will start off with you are not alone And I am so sorry that you have to struggle and I am sure hurt by letting go of your relationship.I am on SSD and by the time i pay my bills I have so little to get by on that I cant wait till the first of the month.I do get a gift from volteering for drug studies from time to time it helps me have hope in being able to see what is down the pike as far as new drugs. I had lived five hours away from my brothers and had to move closer to home so that i could keep my Dog Levi he is that inportant to me and i found that my sister in law takes good care of him when i need a tune up.Its hard I could not work even a part time job I have had 19 chest tubes and even though my fev is in the 79 I have no energy but i do feel so lucky to have the things in my life that give me blessing TV Computer friends books and hereing from you makes me know I am not alone I often wonder if I would be alive if I lived in a country that had no Meds.Its lonely so often I miss not having someone in my life but I look at what I have and know I am going to live this day the best I can and I am going to enjoy this day. Thank you so much and maybe you can look into agency I live in PA and we have ECO which help build ramps and replace AC and furnances all kinds of services I am hoping you find help.<br>

 

[ltlhook]

After 5 years of dating and 7 years of marriage I got divorced due to my ex husbands infidelity. He left because the reason for the divorce was his wrong doing not mine. He left with just a few things and then later came back for the rest while I was away so I didn't have to interact with him. We lived in an apartment at the time. I was (and still am) on disability and that was my only income. Asking him for money was not something I wanted to do becuase he wasn't reliable in that area anyway. He would have given me whatever I asked for because he knew he screwed up but I wanted to prove that I could do it all by myself and didn't need him or any man...haha. I could afford the apartment but if anything went wrong with the car or any other normal life things happened I was screwed. I was very anti "moving back home" since I had not been back home since I was 18 (when I got married). I was 25 at the time of the divorce. Long story short I ended up having to move in with my dad and his wife for a few months. Another long sotry short I had to move somewhere else so then it was to my brothers for a few months. Then I moved into a carriage house that a friend had in her backyard. It was a studio appartment. It was fine for me and I could afford it. I was there a year and then moved in with my now husband.

I HATE asking for help. I want to do everything by myself and that bites me in the butt all the time. Through the times I was staying with family I still always did my thing and rarely "hung out" with them because I still wanted my freedom.

I would say if you can downsize the place you are living with something less espensive, no lawn care, one level, even utilities included if possible, etc. that would help you out a lot. Or like others have suggested getting a roommate if you own the house and can't sell it or can't get out of a lease.

It is still hard for me to ask for help or a favor. It always has been and I am working on it. I have had to bite my tongue a few times and just ask, the worst someone could say was no.

Hang in there, I know how much this sucks!

 

[ltlhook]

After 5 years of dating and 7 years of marriage I got divorced due to my ex husbands infidelity. He left because the reason for the divorce was his wrong doing not mine. He left with just a few things and then later came back for the rest while I was away so I didn't have to interact with him. We lived in an apartment at the time. I was (and still am) on disability and that was my only income. Asking him for money was not something I wanted to do becuase he wasn't reliable in that area anyway. He would have given me whatever I asked for because he knew he screwed up but I wanted to prove that I could do it all by myself and didn't need him or any man...haha. I could afford the apartment but if anything went wrong with the car or any other normal life things happened I was screwed. I was very anti "moving back home" since I had not been back home since I was 18 (when I got married). I was 25 at the time of the divorce. Long story short I ended up having to move in with my dad and his wife for a few months. Another long sotry short I had to move somewhere else so then it was to my brothers for a few months. Then I moved into a carriage house that a friend had in her backyard. It was a studio appartment. It was fine for me and I could afford it. I was there a year and then moved in with my now husband.

I HATE asking for help. I want to do everything by myself and that bites me in the butt all the time. Through the times I was staying with family I still always did my thing and rarely "hung out" with them because I still wanted my freedom.

I would say if you can downsize the place you are living with something less espensive, no lawn care, one level, even utilities included if possible, etc. that would help you out a lot. Or like others have suggested getting a roommate if you own the house and can't sell it or can't get out of a lease.

It is still hard for me to ask for help or a favor. It always has been and I am working on it. I have had to bite my tongue a few times and just ask, the worst someone could say was no.

Hang in there, I know how much this sucks!

 

[ltlhook]

After 5 years of dating and 7 years of marriage I got divorced due to my ex husbands infidelity. He left because the reason for the divorce was his wrong doing not mine. He left with just a few things and then later came back for the rest while I was away so I didn't have to interact with him. We lived in an apartment at the time. I was (and still am) on disability and that was my only income. Asking him for money was not something I wanted to do becuase he wasn't reliable in that area anyway. He would have given me whatever I asked for because he knew he screwed up but I wanted to prove that I could do it all by myself and didn't need him or any man...haha. I could afford the apartment but if anything went wrong with the car or any other normal life things happened I was screwed. I was very anti "moving back home" since I had not been back home since I was 18 (when I got married). I was 25 at the time of the divorce. Long story short I ended up having to move in with my dad and his wife for a few months. Another long sotry short I had to move somewhere else so then it was to my brothers for a few months. Then I moved into a carriage house that a friend had in her backyard. It was a studio appartment. It was fine for me and I could afford it. I was there a year and then moved in with my now husband.
<br />
<br />I HATE asking for help. I want to do everything by myself and that bites me in the butt all the time. Through the times I was staying with family I still always did my thing and rarely "hung out" with them because I still wanted my freedom.
<br />
<br />I would say if you can downsize the place you are living with something less espensive, no lawn care, one level, even utilities included if possible, etc. that would help you out a lot. Or like others have suggested getting a roommate if you own the house and can't sell it or can't get out of a lease.
<br />
<br />It is still hard for me to ask for help or a favor. It always has been and I am working on it. I have had to bite my tongue a few times and just ask, the worst someone could say was no.
<br />
<br />Hang in there, I know how much this sucks!

 

[franzie2984]

Hi Erin,<div><br></div><div>I am joining this conversation late and haven't read all the replies (so this is perhaps redundant), but have you considered applying for personal assistance (home based services) through the department of human services?  You said you have SSDI and if you have medicare/SSDI/any of that stuff you typically qualify for home based services.  They will allow you to pay someone to do your laundry/shopping etc... for a certain numbers of hour per week depending on your health level.  The application process varies depending on what state you live in, so I am not sure what yours specifically would be.    Let me know if you want more information regarding this.  I am pretty familiar with disability policy, having studied it in grad school.  </div><div><br></div><div>Sarah~</div><div><br></div><div><br></div>

 

[franzie2984]

Hi Erin,<br>I am joining this conversation late andhaven'tread all the replies (so this is perhaps redundant), but have you considered applying for personal assistance (home based services) through the department of human services? You said you have SSDI and if you have medicare/SSDI/any of that stuff you typically qualify for home based services. They will allow you to pay someone to do your laundry/shopping etc... for a certain numbers of hour per week depending on your health level. The application process varies depending on what state you live in, so I am not sure what yours specifically would be. Let me know if you want more information regarding this. I am pretty familiar with disability policy, having studied it in grad school. <br>Sarah~<br><br>

 

[franzie2984]

Hi Erin,<br>I am joining this conversation late andhaven'tread all the replies (so this is perhaps redundant), but have you considered applying for personal assistance (home based services) through the department of human services? You said you have SSDI and if you have medicare/SSDI/any of that stuff you typically qualify for home based services. They will allow you to pay someone to do your laundry/shopping etc... for a certain numbers of hour per week depending on your health level. The application process varies depending on what state you live in, so I am not sure what yours specifically would be. Let me know if you want more information regarding this. I am pretty familiar with disability policy, having studied it in grad school. <br>Sarah~<br><br>