While I'm glad to see alot of other 'CF'ers' are in comitted relationships, I'm sorry to see a majority of these people have resorted to doing the same thing my 'Wife' & I have been forced to.
My Wife & I have been together for just short of 20 years & have never been officially married.
We LIVE IN SIN!
In fact, we had one fundamentalist jack-ass neighbor threaten to call the law on us because we are, in his words, "co-habitating".
It really pisses me off that because of finances good people are forced to do the wrong thing.
I think what we'll eventually do is have a ceremony but just skip the marriage license.
Just like almost everyone else posting on this topic, if we were to be legally married we'd be fiancially ruined.
Yes, you will be penalized for doing the right thing.
If my parents would have bought health insurance for me when I was born this may not have been a problem. But then, if frogs had wings they wouldn't bump their butt when they hop too!
In my heart, I truly think God understands & that's all that is important. Best of luck to you.