moving out

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littledebbie

New member
I was paying some part of the rent by the time I was 19 and I lived completely on my own by the time I was 21. My health is not so great compared to some of the other adults on here. When I moved out my PFT's were well under 30% and now they have been 17-21% for about 5 years. However, I worked full time up until last July and am very independant. I have practical support from my parents in that my Mom goes with me to do my major grocery shopping about once a month so she can help me carry all my junk up to my apt.(and other things like that) and I do laundry at my Dad's house <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

For me as a teenager when I was thinking in terms of long term goals..college did not make sense for me personally. For one thing, I didn't like school. I was a good student but I hated it and didn't want to spend more years of my life in school than absolutely necessary. I needed a job that offered good benefits and was large enough to be accountable to all the disability laws regarding accomodation. I needed to get enough years of work and contributing to the SSI system to be able to draw a decent disability retirement later on. In looking at these realities for myself I realised that for me achieving my independance was the most important thing for me personally. I don't think I would have ever felt like I had qualified for "adult" status had i not gone out on my own and supported myself; been a functioning contribuitng member of society. I may not marry and I won't have kids, but I grew up, spread my wings and carved out a little space of my own.

I get a lot of "feedback" <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0"> on my decision regarding college from other Adult CFers and I respect their perspective. However, these are personal decisions for everyone and I would like to add deciding some of these things I would assume is very different when you have hmmmm I would say 35% FEV1 or above. Things look rather different when your 17yrs old and already looking down the barrel.

And to cast a vote I too thing too many CFers are babied.
 
W

wuffles

New member
My parents supported me fully while I was in school and uni, although they did expect me to work and pay for any personal items and entertainment from the time I got my first job. I am an only child so I was very spoilt, and I have a feeling they would have let me live there forever, if I'd wanted to <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0">

I finished university in November 2004, when I was 20. I received a job offer in another city [13 hours drive away]. I moved here with my boyfriend in January 2005 and we've been here since. We both work full-time, renting, and hope to buy a house in one to two years.

I am really happy to be self-sufficient. I was babied to a point, but not so much that I didn't *want* to move out. Living in a completely different city has been hard too, but a great experience.
 
W

wuffles

New member
My parents supported me fully while I was in school and uni, although they did expect me to work and pay for any personal items and entertainment from the time I got my first job. I am an only child so I was very spoilt, and I have a feeling they would have let me live there forever, if I'd wanted to <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0">

I finished university in November 2004, when I was 20. I received a job offer in another city [13 hours drive away]. I moved here with my boyfriend in January 2005 and we've been here since. We both work full-time, renting, and hope to buy a house in one to two years.

I am really happy to be self-sufficient. I was babied to a point, but not so much that I didn't *want* to move out. Living in a completely different city has been hard too, but a great experience.
 
W

wuffles

New member
My parents supported me fully while I was in school and uni, although they did expect me to work and pay for any personal items and entertainment from the time I got my first job. I am an only child so I was very spoilt, and I have a feeling they would have let me live there forever, if I'd wanted to <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0">

I finished university in November 2004, when I was 20. I received a job offer in another city [13 hours drive away]. I moved here with my boyfriend in January 2005 and we've been here since. We both work full-time, renting, and hope to buy a house in one to two years.

I am really happy to be self-sufficient. I was babied to a point, but not so much that I didn't *want* to move out. Living in a completely different city has been hard too, but a great experience.
 
C

Chaggie

New member
personally, I couldn't wait to get out, by my third year in college i was living in apartment and didn't even consider moving back.
 
C

Chaggie

New member
personally, I couldn't wait to get out, by my third year in college i was living in apartment and didn't even consider moving back.
 
C

Chaggie

New member
personally, I couldn't wait to get out, by my third year in college i was living in apartment and didn't even consider moving back.
 
S

sue35

New member
My parents were the same as Amy's, I had to pay rent after college. They paid for my room and board in college and then the day I graduated and moved into my own apartment I had to pay rent. The only thing they pay for now is my medical expenses because I work at a Catholic school and do not make enough money to pay them. But that will also stop next year. I am glad that my parents made me move out on my own. It really makes me more aware of my own finances and gives me a lot of independance. If you can do it health wise, I reccommend it.
 
S

sue35

New member
My parents were the same as Amy's, I had to pay rent after college. They paid for my room and board in college and then the day I graduated and moved into my own apartment I had to pay rent. The only thing they pay for now is my medical expenses because I work at a Catholic school and do not make enough money to pay them. But that will also stop next year. I am glad that my parents made me move out on my own. It really makes me more aware of my own finances and gives me a lot of independance. If you can do it health wise, I reccommend it.
 
S

sue35

New member
My parents were the same as Amy's, I had to pay rent after college. They paid for my room and board in college and then the day I graduated and moved into my own apartment I had to pay rent. The only thing they pay for now is my medical expenses because I work at a Catholic school and do not make enough money to pay them. But that will also stop next year. I am glad that my parents made me move out on my own. It really makes me more aware of my own finances and gives me a lot of independance. If you can do it health wise, I reccommend it.
 
J

jeterbug

New member
I appreciate your response. We all think we are bulletproof when we are 16 with or without limitations. I respect your striving for independance as well knowing there will be times you have to ask for help (sometimes a chore in itself). I am trying to find balance for my 22 year old son. He expects much from others and little from himself. I have to find just how hard to hold on and let go at the same time.
 
J

jeterbug

New member
I appreciate your response. We all think we are bulletproof when we are 16 with or without limitations. I respect your striving for independance as well knowing there will be times you have to ask for help (sometimes a chore in itself). I am trying to find balance for my 22 year old son. He expects much from others and little from himself. I have to find just how hard to hold on and let go at the same time.
 
J

jeterbug

New member
I appreciate your response. We all think we are bulletproof when we are 16 with or without limitations. I respect your striving for independance as well knowing there will be times you have to ask for help (sometimes a chore in itself). I am trying to find balance for my 22 year old son. He expects much from others and little from himself. I have to find just how hard to hold on and let go at the same time.
 
J

jeterbug

New member
Well, all this forum stuff is new to me. Hope I'm doing it right, but desperation is the mother of invention (or something like that). I'm a almost 50 year old mom of a 22 year old CFr. We also have a 6 year old daughter (no cf and not a carrier). She was a bit of a surprise at the age of 43. I have been fortunate enough to stay at home with both kids until they entered school. Then I teach. I have taught in the public schools for 10 years and will hoepfully begin teaching at a local Christian Prep School next fall. I love being a mom and doing things for and with my kids. But I like the labels they have given me...The Hammer and Indian Princess Mean-What-She-Say. I think a parent needs to do what ever it takes to help their children become what they want to become, but I have lost objectivity with my son and thus the dialogue. Thanks for asking. What would you tell your parents you wish they would have done 5 years ago?
 
J

jeterbug

New member
Well, all this forum stuff is new to me. Hope I'm doing it right, but desperation is the mother of invention (or something like that). I'm a almost 50 year old mom of a 22 year old CFr. We also have a 6 year old daughter (no cf and not a carrier). She was a bit of a surprise at the age of 43. I have been fortunate enough to stay at home with both kids until they entered school. Then I teach. I have taught in the public schools for 10 years and will hoepfully begin teaching at a local Christian Prep School next fall. I love being a mom and doing things for and with my kids. But I like the labels they have given me...The Hammer and Indian Princess Mean-What-She-Say. I think a parent needs to do what ever it takes to help their children become what they want to become, but I have lost objectivity with my son and thus the dialogue. Thanks for asking. What would you tell your parents you wish they would have done 5 years ago?
 
J

jeterbug

New member
Well, all this forum stuff is new to me. Hope I'm doing it right, but desperation is the mother of invention (or something like that). I'm a almost 50 year old mom of a 22 year old CFr. We also have a 6 year old daughter (no cf and not a carrier). She was a bit of a surprise at the age of 43. I have been fortunate enough to stay at home with both kids until they entered school. Then I teach. I have taught in the public schools for 10 years and will hoepfully begin teaching at a local Christian Prep School next fall. I love being a mom and doing things for and with my kids. But I like the labels they have given me...The Hammer and Indian Princess Mean-What-She-Say. I think a parent needs to do what ever it takes to help their children become what they want to become, but I have lost objectivity with my son and thus the dialogue. Thanks for asking. What would you tell your parents you wish they would have done 5 years ago?
 
J

Justsmurfin

New member
I am 21 and still living at home. Not currently going to school.

There is NO way I could afford to move out and NO way I could afford to live by myself. I have other health issues besides CF and right now living at home is the best thing.

Even though I am not currently working or going to school I am still pulling my weight. I do a good bit of the housework and cleaning, my dad owns his own business and I help him out and do all his computer repairs and updating etc. My mom is undergoing breast cancer treatment and I took care of her after all her surgeries. I've been responsible for all my meds and for refilling my meds since I was a young teen.

My family is probably a little unconventional as we believe there is nothing wrong with multiple generations living together. Family is important and we all value that. My parents say this is my home, I grew up here and I am always welcome and since it is my home as well as theirs they don't believe its right to charge rent.

It works for us, I know it wouldn't work for everyone but tough love wouldn't work for my family. Different strokes for different folks
 
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