moving out

[Justsmurfin]

I am 21 and still living at home. Not currently going to school.

There is NO way I could afford to move out and NO way I could afford to live by myself. I have other health issues besides CF and right now living at home is the best thing.

Even though I am not currently working or going to school I am still pulling my weight. I do a good bit of the housework and cleaning, my dad owns his own business and I help him out and do all his computer repairs and updating etc. My mom is undergoing breast cancer treatment and I took care of her after all her surgeries. I've been responsible for all my meds and for refilling my meds since I was a young teen.

My family is probably a little unconventional as we believe there is nothing wrong with multiple generations living together. Family is important and we all value that. My parents say this is my home, I grew up here and I am always welcome and since it is my home as well as theirs they don't believe its right to charge rent.

It works for us, I know it wouldn't work for everyone but tough love wouldn't work for my family. Different strokes for different folks

 

[Justsmurfin]

I am 21 and still living at home. Not currently going to school.

There is NO way I could afford to move out and NO way I could afford to live by myself. I have other health issues besides CF and right now living at home is the best thing.

Even though I am not currently working or going to school I am still pulling my weight. I do a good bit of the housework and cleaning, my dad owns his own business and I help him out and do all his computer repairs and updating etc. My mom is undergoing breast cancer treatment and I took care of her after all her surgeries. I've been responsible for all my meds and for refilling my meds since I was a young teen.

My family is probably a little unconventional as we believe there is nothing wrong with multiple generations living together. Family is important and we all value that. My parents say this is my home, I grew up here and I am always welcome and since it is my home as well as theirs they don't believe its right to charge rent.

It works for us, I know it wouldn't work for everyone but tough love wouldn't work for my family. Different strokes for different folks

 

[loveee12]

my parents told my sister and i before we graduated that if we're not going to school after high school, we need to pay rent. i work during the summer but most of it i put away for my own use/expenses. i'm a freshman now, and the biggest pain is having to sit by an open window in the freezing weather to do my nebs so that the vapors don't set the fire alarm off (again). my parents are paying for school but i'm really independent too - i take care of myself completely (with the exception of housing, school, etc. bills). my parents are really ideal. they somehow found a balance - i'm independent without feeling pressured to be so. after i graduate and get a job, i'm not sure what i'll end up doing.. probably move in my own place with someone and be entirely independent.

 

[loveee12]

my parents told my sister and i before we graduated that if we're not going to school after high school, we need to pay rent. i work during the summer but most of it i put away for my own use/expenses. i'm a freshman now, and the biggest pain is having to sit by an open window in the freezing weather to do my nebs so that the vapors don't set the fire alarm off (again). my parents are paying for school but i'm really independent too - i take care of myself completely (with the exception of housing, school, etc. bills). my parents are really ideal. they somehow found a balance - i'm independent without feeling pressured to be so. after i graduate and get a job, i'm not sure what i'll end up doing.. probably move in my own place with someone and be entirely independent.

 

[loveee12]

my parents told my sister and i before we graduated that if we're not going to school after high school, we need to pay rent. i work during the summer but most of it i put away for my own use/expenses. i'm a freshman now, and the biggest pain is having to sit by an open window in the freezing weather to do my nebs so that the vapors don't set the fire alarm off (again). my parents are paying for school but i'm really independent too - i take care of myself completely (with the exception of housing, school, etc. bills). my parents are really ideal. they somehow found a balance - i'm independent without feeling pressured to be so. after i graduate and get a job, i'm not sure what i'll end up doing.. probably move in my own place with someone and be entirely independent.

 

[loveee12]

my parents told my sister and i before we graduated that if we're not going to school after high school, we need to pay rent. i work during the summer but most of it i put away for my own use/expenses. i'm a freshman now, and the biggest pain is having to sit by an open window in the freezing weather to do my nebs so that the vapors don't set the fire alarm off (again). my parents are paying for school but i'm really independent too - i take care of myself completely (with the exception of housing, school, etc. bills). my parents are really ideal. they somehow found a balance - i'm independent without feeling pressured to be so. after i graduate and get a job, i'm not sure what i'll end up doing.. probably move in my own place with someone and be entirely independent.

 

[loveee12]

my parents told my sister and i before we graduated that if we're not going to school after high school, we need to pay rent. i work during the summer but most of it i put away for my own use/expenses. i'm a freshman now, and the biggest pain is having to sit by an open window in the freezing weather to do my nebs so that the vapors don't set the fire alarm off (again). my parents are paying for school but i'm really independent too - i take care of myself completely (with the exception of housing, school, etc. bills). my parents are really ideal. they somehow found a balance - i'm independent without feeling pressured to be so. after i graduate and get a job, i'm not sure what i'll end up doing.. probably move in my own place with someone and be entirely independent.

 

[loveee12]

my parents told my sister and i before we graduated that if we're not going to school after high school, we need to pay rent. i work during the summer but most of it i put away for my own use/expenses. i'm a freshman now, and the biggest pain is having to sit by an open window in the freezing weather to do my nebs so that the vapors don't set the fire alarm off (again). my parents are paying for school but i'm really independent too - i take care of myself completely (with the exception of housing, school, etc. bills). my parents are really ideal. they somehow found a balance - i'm independent without feeling pressured to be so. after i graduate and get a job, i'm not sure what i'll end up doing.. probably move in my own place with someone and be entirely independent.

 

[Justsmurfin]

I just want to say that one thing pisses me off about american society

You can live at home with your parents and still be independant. Think about it, its only in recent years that kids moving out when they turn 18 has been comon. And in many countries it is still the norm to have several generations living together. Family is not important anymore here it seems and being together isn't valued. Alone, alone, alone...thats what everyone wants to be

 

[Justsmurfin]

I just want to say that one thing pisses me off about american society

You can live at home with your parents and still be independant. Think about it, its only in recent years that kids moving out when they turn 18 has been comon. And in many countries it is still the norm to have several generations living together. Family is not important anymore here it seems and being together isn't valued. Alone, alone, alone...thats what everyone wants to be

 

[Justsmurfin]

I just want to say that one thing pisses me off about american society

You can live at home with your parents and still be independant. Think about it, its only in recent years that kids moving out when they turn 18 has been comon. And in many countries it is still the norm to have several generations living together. Family is not important anymore here it seems and being together isn't valued. Alone, alone, alone...thats what everyone wants to be

 

[jeterbug]

Amen to that. "Pulling your own weight" is the key. I greatly believe multi-generations can live together, but reciprocity is crucial. That is a value that our current society misses out on.

 

[jeterbug]

Amen to that. "Pulling your own weight" is the key. I greatly believe multi-generations can live together, but reciprocity is crucial. That is a value that our current society misses out on.

 

[jeterbug]

Amen to that. "Pulling your own weight" is the key. I greatly believe multi-generations can live together, but reciprocity is crucial. That is a value that our current society misses out on.

 

[65rosessamurai]

My story was similar to Amy and Ry's, in which my mom was a little leniant on me, but my dad was a little more strict. As long as I was in School, and if I also had a part-time job, I could live at home with little to no responsibility for paying rent.
As my job was becoming a little more stable (and the income slowly increasing), I started to pay rent, some of which I thought was understood as being put into savings. Finally, in my final years of living in the States, I had a decent enough job to move out, and my dad was giving me a harder time about living at home, despite the fact I was keeping up my end by paying rent, etc.
It wasn't until I was going to move to Japan, that I moved back to the parents, for a while, before heading off to Japan.
My first few months in Japan, we lived with the X's parents, before we were able to finally move out. I was actually shocked as to how little I could get for an apartment in Japan!! It was sooooo small....I had to go outside, just to change my mind!!
After the divorce, I lived on my own for about a six month period, very tough in Japan! Even when my new wife came over to cook for me on the weekends, I still had to make my own meals during the week. And, I've had a few times in that time-period where I was too sick to do anything! This is where I learned how beneficial it is to have someone who can help you to be living close by.
Now, I live with the new wife's mother, but things are reversed, now...we take care of her! And, it's no longer her house, anymore, either!
But, it most definitely is beneficial for the GUYS to move out of the house ASAP!! After finding out how many Japanese guys who are 25 years and older are still living with Mommy and Daddy (and Mommy makes their lunches!), That I was glad my dad finally pushed me to living on my own!!
P.S. Allie, I think the female gender would be just as un-likely to marry a guy who may have a good job, but still lives under Mommy and Daddy's wing!

 

[65rosessamurai]

My story was similar to Amy and Ry's, in which my mom was a little leniant on me, but my dad was a little more strict. As long as I was in School, and if I also had a part-time job, I could live at home with little to no responsibility for paying rent.
As my job was becoming a little more stable (and the income slowly increasing), I started to pay rent, some of which I thought was understood as being put into savings. Finally, in my final years of living in the States, I had a decent enough job to move out, and my dad was giving me a harder time about living at home, despite the fact I was keeping up my end by paying rent, etc.
It wasn't until I was going to move to Japan, that I moved back to the parents, for a while, before heading off to Japan.
My first few months in Japan, we lived with the X's parents, before we were able to finally move out. I was actually shocked as to how little I could get for an apartment in Japan!! It was sooooo small....I had to go outside, just to change my mind!!
After the divorce, I lived on my own for about a six month period, very tough in Japan! Even when my new wife came over to cook for me on the weekends, I still had to make my own meals during the week. And, I've had a few times in that time-period where I was too sick to do anything! This is where I learned how beneficial it is to have someone who can help you to be living close by.
Now, I live with the new wife's mother, but things are reversed, now...we take care of her! And, it's no longer her house, anymore, either!
But, it most definitely is beneficial for the GUYS to move out of the house ASAP!! After finding out how many Japanese guys who are 25 years and older are still living with Mommy and Daddy (and Mommy makes their lunches!), That I was glad my dad finally pushed me to living on my own!!
P.S. Allie, I think the female gender would be just as un-likely to marry a guy who may have a good job, but still lives under Mommy and Daddy's wing!

 

[65rosessamurai]

My story was similar to Amy and Ry's, in which my mom was a little leniant on me, but my dad was a little more strict. As long as I was in School, and if I also had a part-time job, I could live at home with little to no responsibility for paying rent.
As my job was becoming a little more stable (and the income slowly increasing), I started to pay rent, some of which I thought was understood as being put into savings. Finally, in my final years of living in the States, I had a decent enough job to move out, and my dad was giving me a harder time about living at home, despite the fact I was keeping up my end by paying rent, etc.
It wasn't until I was going to move to Japan, that I moved back to the parents, for a while, before heading off to Japan.
My first few months in Japan, we lived with the X's parents, before we were able to finally move out. I was actually shocked as to how little I could get for an apartment in Japan!! It was sooooo small....I had to go outside, just to change my mind!!
After the divorce, I lived on my own for about a six month period, very tough in Japan! Even when my new wife came over to cook for me on the weekends, I still had to make my own meals during the week. And, I've had a few times in that time-period where I was too sick to do anything! This is where I learned how beneficial it is to have someone who can help you to be living close by.
Now, I live with the new wife's mother, but things are reversed, now...we take care of her! And, it's no longer her house, anymore, either!
But, it most definitely is beneficial for the GUYS to move out of the house ASAP!! After finding out how many Japanese guys who are 25 years and older are still living with Mommy and Daddy (and Mommy makes their lunches!), That I was glad my dad finally pushed me to living on my own!!
P.S. Allie, I think the female gender would be just as un-likely to marry a guy who may have a good job, but still lives under Mommy and Daddy's wing!

 

[karenanne99]

haha that's funny fred, about having to go outside to change your mind while you were living in japan!!

Anyways, most everyone that replied to this forum has been on their own for some time but I just moved out in August 2006. I am 100% on my own and attending university ( thank GOODNESS for student loans) My parents have the same views as most other people's did. I am on my own, they want me to learn all the crucial skills like budgeting and surviving alone! It is tough for sure but I am getting used to it. They aren't completely unreasonable, they do loan me money when my loan hasn't come in yet and stuff or when I am in the hospital ( to get to my classes and back to the hospital again) but I kind of like the feeling of indepenance. {it would be nice to have some extra mooola but oh well.} My parents expect me to get a good education and get a job the second i graduate and start paying off loans n junk but I when my brother ( 26 with cf) got really sick they let him move home and helped him out. It is nice to have that sense of security ( god forbid I ever need it though ) Anyways thats my moving out experience so far!!



PS since moving out I have taken MUCH better care of myself ( ie going to the gym, taking all my aerosols, meds, and physio) I dunno why but I am noticing an improvement kinda!

 

[karenanne99]

haha that's funny fred, about having to go outside to change your mind while you were living in japan!!

Anyways, most everyone that replied to this forum has been on their own for some time but I just moved out in August 2006. I am 100% on my own and attending university ( thank GOODNESS for student loans) My parents have the same views as most other people's did. I am on my own, they want me to learn all the crucial skills like budgeting and surviving alone! It is tough for sure but I am getting used to it. They aren't completely unreasonable, they do loan me money when my loan hasn't come in yet and stuff or when I am in the hospital ( to get to my classes and back to the hospital again) but I kind of like the feeling of indepenance. {it would be nice to have some extra mooola but oh well.} My parents expect me to get a good education and get a job the second i graduate and start paying off loans n junk but I when my brother ( 26 with cf) got really sick they let him move home and helped him out. It is nice to have that sense of security ( god forbid I ever need it though ) Anyways thats my moving out experience so far!!



PS since moving out I have taken MUCH better care of myself ( ie going to the gym, taking all my aerosols, meds, and physio) I dunno why but I am noticing an improvement kinda!

 

[karenanne99]

haha that's funny fred, about having to go outside to change your mind while you were living in japan!!

Anyways, most everyone that replied to this forum has been on their own for some time but I just moved out in August 2006. I am 100% on my own and attending university ( thank GOODNESS for student loans) My parents have the same views as most other people's did. I am on my own, they want me to learn all the crucial skills like budgeting and surviving alone! It is tough for sure but I am getting used to it. They aren't completely unreasonable, they do loan me money when my loan hasn't come in yet and stuff or when I am in the hospital ( to get to my classes and back to the hospital again) but I kind of like the feeling of indepenance. {it would be nice to have some extra mooola but oh well.} My parents expect me to get a good education and get a job the second i graduate and start paying off loans n junk but I when my brother ( 26 with cf) got really sick they let him move home and helped him out. It is nice to have that sense of security ( god forbid I ever need it though ) Anyways thats my moving out experience so far!!



PS since moving out I have taken MUCH better care of myself ( ie going to the gym, taking all my aerosols, meds, and physio) I dunno why but I am noticing an improvement kinda!