Hi Cfers, I just need to vent. I dont know how anyone stays positive about this disease. You are all the only ones who understand the daily struggle of CF. I have no family members who have it so I come to this board for info and support. I just feel so angry, deflated, depressed. I dont know if being on here is even mentally good for me. When I read about someone passing-like countrygirl and jazzysmom (who I was friends with over this board)...it just really effects me. I dont understand why I just spoke with them and then they are gone. I am only 41 years old and I am a CF senior citizen. Also, I know this is wrong but I feel so jealous for the people that have been on VX770. I am happy and joyful that they are well but I also want to be well. What about the other 96% of us??? I feel like time is running out for me. I am at 35-40% FEV1 and I am so anxious about the next few years....will I even be here? i have been sick all of my life and I just want a break. I just feel like crap all the time and I am scared all the time. everytime someone passes everyone posts "they are breathing easy"...well, where are they breathing easy? Heaven? with God? Does life go on after this or do we just suffer to our last breath and then lights out? Ugh! sorry for the rant. I just know that everyone on this board must feel some of these feeling some of the time.