I am so sorry for your loss. A death of a loved one is never easy to deal with.
I too lost my brother, although I was young (10yrs old) I still mourn for his death and its still very hard on my family. He had cf and was pretty sick at the age of 13 but he died in an accident.
There has been alot of drama in my family similiar to yours too. My dad is an alcoholic and is very abusive in alot of ways. I have since parted ways with him and haven't talked to him in several years but my mom is still married to him and I trying to hold on to our relationship despite not talking to my dad.
I am married to a wonderful husband that is very supportive and I try to hold on to whats good in my life and not fret the bad. Its very hard to do at times but I just try my hardest.
I hope that coming here and finding that you are not alone will help you. You made a good decision to come here for support!!! Keep coming here, and getting involved is a very good idea!!!
Take care of you!!!