new boyfriend need help

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Vampy

New member
Okies this is kinda ..out there
i got a new boyfriend and his mom was asking about my cf. Which is normal for ppl to ask
But we..er yea and the con broke and he was freakin out and all nervious because cause and he said "im not worried about babies im worried about you and what pregnancies can do to you because your so small. My family babies are huge..i was 10 pds and 10 ounces my cousin was 11 pounds.." here i was at 6 pds 8 oz.

I couldnt really say much of anything then to say "dont worry about it it will be ok..first get checked later on and then we will worry later if i am" Im not really worried about it because it just seems that everytime i think im pregnant im not and i just gave up on it. I doubt that i am..but what can i say to him to make him feel better..how can i explain this to him. Hes a total sweety anda great guy. I dont think he would care in a bad way if i was hes a total all around nice guy.

How can i explain the way babies/cf patients and the way it works to him without confusing him to the point of ripping his hair out of his head?? I so need help!<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-confused.gif" border="0">
 
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Tess

New member
Vampy,

First of all IF you did get pregnant by him the baby it growing in you and wouldn't be anything that your body couldn't handle.

Second, I got pregnant completely by accident and I was completely fine .. I wasn't nervous or scared in the least ... My parents and family was but I was quite as ease with it ..

Many CF women today are having successful pregnancies Mine included... With the medicine of today .. anything is possible.

As for what to tell him ... it's harder for a CFer to get pregnant in the first place.. and with advances in medical care you'd probably do fine getting pregnant ... even "normal" women can have problems with pregnancy and child birth ... Today I don't think a CFers chances are any different ....
 
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thelizardqueen

New member
I second all that Tess has said. Just because you have CF and haven't gotten pregnant yet, does not mean that you can't get pregnant naturally. It could very well have been the guys who couldn't get you pregnant, or in other terms they just weren't the guys for you to get pregnant. Many CFers do get pregnant even on the pill, and sometimes if even takes them awhile before they do get pregnant. If you're worried about a condom breaking and you're not on the pill (are you on the pill? because if not, you should be), then get the morning after pill. You can take this up to 72 hours after unprotected sex.

Like Tess said, just tell him that while you do have CF, and it is harder for you to get pregnant, it isn't impossible with today's technology. And despite the fact that you're small, you can carry to term, just like any "normal" woman. Other then that, I would also be concerned with having kids before you get your partner tested. Because you have CF, that means that automatically your kids will have one gene. If your bf is a carrier, you have a 50% chance of having a child with CF.
 
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Jem

New member
Yes, we have been wondering how you are doing? I hope well.<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 
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HairGirl

New member
As for being small, I have a friend who is 5'3" and like a size 2!!!! She had a 10 lbs baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
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anonymous

New member
Keep in mind that the morning after pill won't do anything if you got preg right away - I work with a pharmacist, and it's a very interesting pill that doesn't work at all like you would think it would.

Anyway, I'm not sure what you can tell him to make him worry less, but I think if you continue to be calm about it, he'll follow suit.

I hope everything works out,
--Wallflower
 
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Joanne

New member
Sorry to be so old fashioned... but I am sure others agree with me..... why are you "trying" to get pregnant with a "new boyfriend"? What about marriage? What about college? What about careers?

To me it is so backward how people proceed in life. I think the movie and music stars of today do not help. They are all having babies, no marriage. These are grown people, with supposed brains, do they not know how you get pregnant? What is going on ?

You are only 20. Many changes will occur in your life, and so will changes to this guy you are dating. If you really want a baby, get married, but only get married if he is committed, sincere and has in his heart the means to stay with you forever.

There is birth control too. You might want to use that until you are married.

I am not sure what the story is with him saying his family has big babies, is he trying to scare you? Or is some ego thing he has. Some very small women have big babies. The weight of the baby does tend to go along with how tall the dad is and how big physically they are. My sister was only 5"4 and her husband was about 6"1 or 6" 2'. She also had CF. She had a 9lb, 16oz baby, a 10lb, 2 oz baby, a 7lb, 8oz baby and a 9lb 5 oz baby. She was fine. Your body when pregnant prepares for the birth and when the minutes are approaching, your pelvic area spreads for the birth.

Think about life more, do more in your life. Unhappiness is prevalent with young, unmarried women, who live on welfare and have kids to take care of and often no man around to help out...... plan a little first.

Okay, I am old fashioned... but sometimes old fashioned works.

Joanne Schum
luckylungsforjo@aol.com (not afraid to share my email address)
 
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EnergyGal

New member
I am with Joanne on this topic. BE CAREFUL. IF you think CF is a big responsibility then wait until a little baby arrives. If you are in GREAT CF condtion then perhaps a baby will be right for you one married day.
 
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anonymous

New member
I think you missed...the "con" broke....aka the condom broke.

They are using birth control and not trying to get pregnant. But I agree that I you don't want to get pregnant you should be on an alternate b/c method as well. Never can be too safe.
 
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Joanne

New member
I had no idea what "con" meant.

Some of us are old here, and I am not up on the lingo.

Con is condom... okay. Not sure how often a condom breaks.... sounds risky to me.

Good luck
Joanne
 
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JazzysMom

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Joanne</b></i>

I had no idea what "con" meant.



Some of us are old here, and I am not up on the lingo.



Con is condom... okay. Not sure how often a condom breaks.... sounds risky to me.



Good luck


Joanne.....you just so dated yourself Lady! LOL!
Joanne</end quote></div>
 
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JazzysMom

New member
First thing is that CFers have been known to get pregnant & have big babies just like others. This varies from person to person just like with Non CFers. The difference is that we have CF & as Lil Debie pointed out makes a big difference. In the best of circumstances with CF....there is still CF when dealing with a pregnancy! Secondly just because you havent gotten pregnant doesnt mean it wont happen. I didnt use birth control for 12 years based on those types of thoughts....well it didnt happen yet so I guess it wont. Well I was with my new husband for 10 months when I got pregnant. Thirdly the conversation that you portrayed sieems a little too easy going. Even tho more CFers are having babies.....its not simple before, during or after. Because being a parent isnt that simple! I dont want to sound old fashion either especially because my pregnancy didnt happen at the ideal time in my life as far as relationships etc.....BUT make sure its as much of an everlasting love as you will find because if a child gets brought into things then its a different ballgame. I am aware that you were using birth control, but the easy going attitude makes me uneasy!
 
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littledebbie

New member
Oh my goodness....to answer yor question....I usually explain that with CF we create more mucus than most people and not JUST in our lungs, it's within our entire bodies for the most part and that includes the reproduction dept too. usually an increase of mucus combined with out general low weight (which can throw off our menstration) the chance of an ooops pregancy is probably slightly less than your average healthy female.<br><br>
THIS IS NOT TO SAY IT CAN'T HAPPEN<br><br>
It is wreckless and dumb to think you do not need bc because of CF for females...i realize Vampy you <i>do</i> know you need bc I'm just stating it for anyone else reading who might misinterpret my meaning here.<br><br>
Also, i am a little confused at the general tone in this thread so far that as a female with CF you can get pregnant and have a normal time of it like everyone else. That may not have been what anyone intended to write but in my opinion it is a general feeling running in this thread now. Uhmm...not true. I know it is for some, but I believe they are more the exception than the rule. It is not as simple for a female with CF. As we have seen on here (other threads), it's a serious decision with many factors to be considered...not something that should be taken lightly or left to "ooops".
 
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julie

New member
I've been reading this over and over since it was posted and maybe I'm misunderstanding the question. I'd love to offer some advice/help but I just really don't quite understand what you need help with.

I will say this though, and I hope it doesn't come across as rude but it's just something that's nagging at me every time I read this post.

If you aren't mature enought to say, "we were having sex and the condom broke" maybe you ought not to be having sex in the first place. I too was confused about what happened when I read the post a few times and I'm not "old fashinoned" (referring to Joanne's post <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">). And as others have said, if you are concerned about getting pregnant, maybe more than just one method of birth control might be a good idea.

most CFers bodies can handle pregnancy just fine (it's usually lung involvement/infections that are concerning, not someone's body size), so I'm not clear if you are saying that's your concern or what.

Can anyone else clear the air for me, make/help me understand the question????
 
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JazzysMom

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>littledebbie</b></i>

Oh my goodness....to answer yor question....I usually explain that with CF we create more mucus than most people and not JUST in our lungs, it's within our entire bodies for the most part and that includes the reproduction dept too. usually an increase of mucus combined with out general low weight (which can throw off our menstration) the chance of an ooops pregancy is probably slightly less than your average healthy female.


THIS IS NOT TO SAY IT CAN'T HAPPEN


It is wreckless and dumb to think you do not need bc because of CF for females...i realize Vampy you <i>do</i> know you need bc I'm just stating it for anyone else reading who might misinterpret my meaning here.


Also, i am a little confused at the general tone in this thread so far that as a female with CF you can get pregnant and have a normal time of it like everyone else. That may not have been what anyone intended to write but in my opinion it is a general feeling running in this thread now. Uhmm...not true. I know it is for some, but I believe they are more the exception than the rule. It is not as simple for a female with CF. As we have seen on here (other threads), it's a serious decision with many factors to be considered...not something that should be taken lightly or left to "ooops".</end quote></div>

I understand your concern & reworded my post accordingly! Thanks!
 
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Vampy

New member
Lol no jaundis thank god...liver levels were normal it was a close scare. But eyes were yellow i dont know it could have been anything
 
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Vampy

New member
im not trying to get pregnant with a new boyfriend -.o i dont want to get pregnant i tried earlier when i was engaged but me and the guy got intoa huge fight and he hit me and shoved me and junk so i broke it off.
 
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