oK, I NEED SOME ADVICE ABOUT THIS MAN THAT I HAVE BEEN SEEING FOR a few months(7 ) 2 be exact.... he sent me a text message this morning telling me he had a dream the other night and i asked him a question in the dream and he wanted to explain in a proper way and was asking me if he could call me tonight... after joking around w/ him and trying to figure out what the dream was, he called me. he said in the dream, i asked him where does he see the reletionship going or something like that.... he felt it was necessary to share this with me for whatever reason. he said he cares for me very much, but when i told him i adored him very much, he said he could not say the same about me.... he also stated that he does not want to hurt me and doesn't want to get emotionally attached because he doesn't want to ever hurt me and be the bad guy. he knows were never gonna get married and was telling me and made it clear that he is not looking but if somewhere down the line if he happens to meet someone he doesnt want to hurt me.....this conversation was 2 hours ago, and it just hit me like a ton of bricks......wow, i am emotionally involved with him i think . he did invite me over to his place for thanksgiving . he is gonna have his mom( whom i havent met yet) and her boyfriend over, and he is gonna cook so that is good right??? you guys i am confused... is he saying he wants to see me but not get emotionally attached... well, it is too late for that.what should i do? am i jumping to conclusions?help......
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OK, I NEED SOME SERIOUS ADVICE......
- Thread starter anonymous
- Start date
forget about him. he has made it clear what his intentions are and if you continue this relationship he will just be using you. him inviting you over for thanksgiving is just his way of making him feel less guilty. please dont see it as some kind of second chance. hes probably felt like this a long time and he has used the whole 'dream thing last night' as an excuse to bring it up. but lucky for you [and yes, this is a good thing that you know now], he brought it up, so now you have a chance to leave without going any further and getting hurt more!
LoveShines4Austin
New member
6 little words (And the title of a book we should all read) He's Just Not That Into You! *sigh*
Sorry...but take it from someone that's been hurt a ton of times in her life...kick him to the curb.
Sorry...but take it from someone that's been hurt a ton of times in her life...kick him to the curb.
oops, i hit send.... well, i told him yesterday that it dawned on me that i was pursuing something that was not there and i was sorry for ever bothering him... his reply was i respect your decision... what... that is all your gonna say....... oh my god, then he has the nerve to send me a text message 5 minutes later and sat but can i still keep in touch.... i responded with a maby.... after some time..., and he responded ok.... after seven months oh hanging out, he didn't even call me, he sent a stupid text message via cell phone.... what!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
thefrogprincess
New member
Another good book: It's called a break up because its broken! (or something to that effect). Great advice.
supermanfan
New member
That is tragic. Sorry to hear that has happened to you. I believe everyone is correct... he's not worth anymore of your time.
It's best to leave it at that...
The best book I can recommend is "Choosing God's Best" or perhaps "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" this one is written by Josh Harris, he also wrote "When Boy meets Girl". Very good books.
I got divorced over 2 years ago and thought "well now i'll go out and date this man or that one" but you know... by focusing on God and building my faith... and waiting. I am happier now than ever...
Focus on your life and trust God to bring that person who you will spend your life with to you.
The best book I can recommend is "Choosing God's Best" or perhaps "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" this one is written by Josh Harris, he also wrote "When Boy meets Girl". Very good books.
I got divorced over 2 years ago and thought "well now i'll go out and date this man or that one" but you know... by focusing on God and building my faith... and waiting. I am happier now than ever...
Focus on your life and trust God to bring that person who you will spend your life with to you.
6
65rosessamurai
Guest
It must be a better seller than "Let's just be friends"...
Actually, the fact the guy had such a dream is sad, but for him to be honest about saying it was...honorable. The way he must have put it, and the methods to try not to feel guilty sound sad, though.
It's better for him to let you know now, than later or never. And, unfortunately I can relate to his kind of dream. I had repetitive dreams of divorcing my ex-wife, but it was for about 3 years, until I finally stood up to her and told her I want a divorce. The odd thing was, until that day, I still loved her, but never felt that love was being returned. Of course, your case is totally different, but the idea that the guy felt that way toward you, couldn't be helped. I'm sure there is someone out there for you, you just may have to sort through some bad apples before finding the one for you. Good luck, and I hope you get over the heart-break soon.
Actually, the fact the guy had such a dream is sad, but for him to be honest about saying it was...honorable. The way he must have put it, and the methods to try not to feel guilty sound sad, though.
It's better for him to let you know now, than later or never. And, unfortunately I can relate to his kind of dream. I had repetitive dreams of divorcing my ex-wife, but it was for about 3 years, until I finally stood up to her and told her I want a divorce. The odd thing was, until that day, I still loved her, but never felt that love was being returned. Of course, your case is totally different, but the idea that the guy felt that way toward you, couldn't be helped. I'm sure there is someone out there for you, you just may have to sort through some bad apples before finding the one for you. Good luck, and I hope you get over the heart-break soon.
Silentcry101
New member
Sorry.. but he probably does not like you anymore...you should forget about him.. find someone who loves you and cares.. cuz he does not...hope your not confused after reading everyones thoughts about your story.......
.. are you going to thanksgiving dinner or not?
.. are you going to thanksgiving dinner or not?
ok, i am back with the newest update.....i just returned home after spending 2 days with him..... I called him last week and pleaded with him to not give up on me just yet... i realized i was being way too emotional with him and assuming unneccessary ridiculous thoughts.... and those thoughts led me to being overly emotional and I read into things that i thought he meant, but he didn't.... so, yesterday we went on this huge hike, it was so relaxing..... then we just hung out.... It doesn' t hurt my ego one bit to say i am sorry to someone or to fight for something I want.... on the other hand i will not fight for something that's just not there but this man is a sweetheart and like i said i don't wanna give him up just yet.....as far as thanksgiving goes, i dont know? he never mentioned this time around, but it's ok because i tend to get really down around hollidays because my dad passed away in 1987, and my mom kicked me out when i was 15 and my 23 year old brother with c/f, hates me, and everyone else in the world so i don't think i would be good company anyways..............
Demention2008
New member
He's doesn't adore you? O.M.G! he cares for you but, doesn't adore you. If he goin 2 b lyk that forget bout him. And go 4 sum1 who will care bout you and adore you. So 4get bout him. And don't worry lotz of ppl get emotionally attached to ppl. You can't help it. You've been with him for 7 mnths. You can't help it.
what are you, the police? i dont have to explain myself to anyone, let alone someone who sounds so demanding sheesh. but if you must know, oh deary me means i think OP is setting herself up for a fall. you might like to believe that this guy might be able to be charmed into getting back into a relationship with OP but i can tell you now guys dont think like that. she will be thinking 'oh i love him so much hes getting back with me its must be true lurrrvee. yippee woohoo' but he will be thinking ' oh she knows i dont want to be in a relationship with her and ive told her i want to see other people so that must mean its casual, shes ok with it all, i can get what i want from her and i can screw around at the same time. yipee woohoo!'.
Wow kybert, such hostility.... i think ur wrong, but then again u know how the old saying goes, "trust no man".... he don't have time for even me, let alone someone else, then again he just might be playn me, but i am trusting my better judgement and what i do know of him, he doesn't play games..... but maby i should seek your unprofessional opinion, just think your a shrink and you didn't even know it...............................