Emily65Roses
New member
Okay so everyone is going to want to bite my ass about this, and that's fine. But I suggest you realistically look at it before you freak the hell out. I make a few valid points, if I do say so myself.
I hate the way America treats death. I realize it may not be the coolest thing ever. But some cultures treat it as a celebration, or "just the next step." I'm not religious and I have more respect for death and the dying than half of the religious people I see floating around. Isn't death supposed to be a good thing to you people? Heaven and all that sh*t? I believe in no such place, and I have more sense about death than half of the people that do believe.
If a person has put in significant time and energy already (and I might add, that by the end, most CFers have), they have every right to choose to rest. I will NEVER understand why stopping the never-ending crap that comes with CF means you're *gasp* GIVING UP! There comes a point where "fighting" no longer makes sense.
I do very much understand not wanting to let loved ones go. Let's look at that sentence carefully, though, shall we? Let's examine the term "loved ones." If these people really are your loved ones, how can you be so selfish as to demand they keep fighting, when they're tired and ready to rest? It's amazing to me how people don't see how incredibly SELFISH that is. It amazes me further how fellow CFers can demand this of each other when we know just how hard it is to live with CF. If you lived your life, and you're at the end, you put in a lot of effort, and it's just not working, we OF ALL PEOPLE, should understand the decision to enjoy the time left.
Just because a doctor says there's a chance doesn't mean it's the right path. There is also a chance for a CFer who has cepacia to get a tx. Does that mean it's the best move? Not always. The numbers kind of suck. And it's too personal a decision to assume everyone should just get one. So just because a doctor says "yes, there's a chance" doesn't mean we should all jump on it. You should only be "jumping on it" if it's YOUR decision. YOURS and YOURS alone. Not anyone else's and not a decision you were coerced into.
This may seem insane to some of you people, but not every CFer wants to die in a hospital, on a vent, surrounded by strangers and nothing familiar. I very much intend to die at home surrounded by my own things, and in the company of those I love. Not cleaning staff, nurses, doctors, RTs, and people I don't f*cking know. If this means that at some point, I have to say "enough is enough, I'm done fighting," then that's what I will do. And imagine this... as much as it may be incredibly difficult for Mike, he knows that I feel this way and he will RESPECT MY WISHES. Whatever that means.
I think everyone CFer and family member should understand that a CFer's care is a personal decision. One that should be made by oneself, and not persuaded by other people with agendas of their own. I realize even these agendas are "well intended." But asking someone who's exhausted to continue fighting so that you can keep them around is selfish. And to see it as anything but is outrageous.
Lastly, just because a CFer (or anyone, for that matter), decides it's time to rest, does not mean there is something wrong with them. It doesn't mean we're negative or we want to die, we're depressed, we're big fat scared chickens, or that we need a kick in the ass to get us going. It means we've lived a good life already, we're exhausted, and we're ready to let go. I HATE how often it's assumed that someone who stops "fighting" is *fill if negative adjective here*
After you step outside of our your own damn head for two minutes and evaluate the situation and what I'm saying, if you still feel you need to berate me, feel free. But realize that I don't give half a damn if you do so. I'm just trying to get people to see how selfish they are in hopes that someone somewhere will get a very well-deserved rest that they wouldn't otherwise get.
I hate the way America treats death. I realize it may not be the coolest thing ever. But some cultures treat it as a celebration, or "just the next step." I'm not religious and I have more respect for death and the dying than half of the religious people I see floating around. Isn't death supposed to be a good thing to you people? Heaven and all that sh*t? I believe in no such place, and I have more sense about death than half of the people that do believe.
If a person has put in significant time and energy already (and I might add, that by the end, most CFers have), they have every right to choose to rest. I will NEVER understand why stopping the never-ending crap that comes with CF means you're *gasp* GIVING UP! There comes a point where "fighting" no longer makes sense.
I do very much understand not wanting to let loved ones go. Let's look at that sentence carefully, though, shall we? Let's examine the term "loved ones." If these people really are your loved ones, how can you be so selfish as to demand they keep fighting, when they're tired and ready to rest? It's amazing to me how people don't see how incredibly SELFISH that is. It amazes me further how fellow CFers can demand this of each other when we know just how hard it is to live with CF. If you lived your life, and you're at the end, you put in a lot of effort, and it's just not working, we OF ALL PEOPLE, should understand the decision to enjoy the time left.
Just because a doctor says there's a chance doesn't mean it's the right path. There is also a chance for a CFer who has cepacia to get a tx. Does that mean it's the best move? Not always. The numbers kind of suck. And it's too personal a decision to assume everyone should just get one. So just because a doctor says "yes, there's a chance" doesn't mean we should all jump on it. You should only be "jumping on it" if it's YOUR decision. YOURS and YOURS alone. Not anyone else's and not a decision you were coerced into.
This may seem insane to some of you people, but not every CFer wants to die in a hospital, on a vent, surrounded by strangers and nothing familiar. I very much intend to die at home surrounded by my own things, and in the company of those I love. Not cleaning staff, nurses, doctors, RTs, and people I don't f*cking know. If this means that at some point, I have to say "enough is enough, I'm done fighting," then that's what I will do. And imagine this... as much as it may be incredibly difficult for Mike, he knows that I feel this way and he will RESPECT MY WISHES. Whatever that means.
I think everyone CFer and family member should understand that a CFer's care is a personal decision. One that should be made by oneself, and not persuaded by other people with agendas of their own. I realize even these agendas are "well intended." But asking someone who's exhausted to continue fighting so that you can keep them around is selfish. And to see it as anything but is outrageous.
Lastly, just because a CFer (or anyone, for that matter), decides it's time to rest, does not mean there is something wrong with them. It doesn't mean we're negative or we want to die, we're depressed, we're big fat scared chickens, or that we need a kick in the ass to get us going. It means we've lived a good life already, we're exhausted, and we're ready to let go. I HATE how often it's assumed that someone who stops "fighting" is *fill if negative adjective here*
After you step outside of our your own damn head for two minutes and evaluate the situation and what I'm saying, if you still feel you need to berate me, feel free. But realize that I don't give half a damn if you do so. I'm just trying to get people to see how selfish they are in hopes that someone somewhere will get a very well-deserved rest that they wouldn't otherwise get.