people who constantly complain

[UnI2B]

Thank you Seana30

I told my Grandmother numerous times that I do not like when she says her famous line "you should live to be my age" That comes when I tell her not to complain and appreciate she is alive.

Now what she is saying is a nice thing- but when I tell her that I doubt that I will make it to that age, i do not want to think about it so to speak, she does not listen. I tell her I do not want to be compared to her.

The last time she said it, I said Grandma I do not think so I told you I do not like that. she laughed.

So she must be having some dementia or she is a total inconsiderate person at times.

I doubt that I am jealous of her but i think I resent her for not appreciating her long life and for all the years she sat on her a$$ and did not do much as far as exercise or leaving her house or trying to help my Mother or trying to learn to drive and get on with life.

She purposely shut herself off from the family and now she is resenting us for whatever stupid reason. she did it to herself. A self fullfilling prophesy.

Maybe I know she is coming close to death and I do not want to deal with it later so I am pushing her away now? People get sick, some people distant themselves in order to protect themselves from getting hurt. I do not think this applies to me but one never knows. A good way to say goodbye is walking away angry. That is a cowards way. Perhaps I am a coward? I doubt it but I am open to exploring.

I think I have more resentment than anything but all negative emotions seem to be related as a therapist would say.

 

[UnI2B]

Thank you Seana30

I told my Grandmother numerous times that I do not like when she says her famous line "you should live to be my age" That comes when I tell her not to complain and appreciate she is alive.

Now what she is saying is a nice thing- but when I tell her that I doubt that I will make it to that age, i do not want to think about it so to speak, she does not listen. I tell her I do not want to be compared to her.

The last time she said it, I said Grandma I do not think so I told you I do not like that. she laughed.

So she must be having some dementia or she is a total inconsiderate person at times.

I doubt that I am jealous of her but i think I resent her for not appreciating her long life and for all the years she sat on her a$$ and did not do much as far as exercise or leaving her house or trying to help my Mother or trying to learn to drive and get on with life.

She purposely shut herself off from the family and now she is resenting us for whatever stupid reason. she did it to herself. A self fullfilling prophesy.

Maybe I know she is coming close to death and I do not want to deal with it later so I am pushing her away now? People get sick, some people distant themselves in order to protect themselves from getting hurt. I do not think this applies to me but one never knows. A good way to say goodbye is walking away angry. That is a cowards way. Perhaps I am a coward? I doubt it but I am open to exploring.

I think I have more resentment than anything but all negative emotions seem to be related as a therapist would say.

 

[UnI2B]

Thank you Seana30

I told my Grandmother numerous times that I do not like when she says her famous line "you should live to be my age" That comes when I tell her not to complain and appreciate she is alive.

Now what she is saying is a nice thing- but when I tell her that I doubt that I will make it to that age, i do not want to think about it so to speak, she does not listen. I tell her I do not want to be compared to her.

The last time she said it, I said Grandma I do not think so I told you I do not like that. she laughed.

So she must be having some dementia or she is a total inconsiderate person at times.

I doubt that I am jealous of her but i think I resent her for not appreciating her long life and for all the years she sat on her a$$ and did not do much as far as exercise or leaving her house or trying to help my Mother or trying to learn to drive and get on with life.

She purposely shut herself off from the family and now she is resenting us for whatever stupid reason. she did it to herself. A self fullfilling prophesy.

Maybe I know she is coming close to death and I do not want to deal with it later so I am pushing her away now? People get sick, some people distant themselves in order to protect themselves from getting hurt. I do not think this applies to me but one never knows. A good way to say goodbye is walking away angry. That is a cowards way. Perhaps I am a coward? I doubt it but I am open to exploring.

I think I have more resentment than anything but all negative emotions seem to be related as a therapist would say.

 

[UnI2B]

Thank you Seana30

I told my Grandmother numerous times that I do not like when she says her famous line "you should live to be my age" That comes when I tell her not to complain and appreciate she is alive.

Now what she is saying is a nice thing- but when I tell her that I doubt that I will make it to that age, i do not want to think about it so to speak, she does not listen. I tell her I do not want to be compared to her.

The last time she said it, I said Grandma I do not think so I told you I do not like that. she laughed.

So she must be having some dementia or she is a total inconsiderate person at times.

I doubt that I am jealous of her but i think I resent her for not appreciating her long life and for all the years she sat on her a$$ and did not do much as far as exercise or leaving her house or trying to help my Mother or trying to learn to drive and get on with life.

She purposely shut herself off from the family and now she is resenting us for whatever stupid reason. she did it to herself. A self fullfilling prophesy.

Maybe I know she is coming close to death and I do not want to deal with it later so I am pushing her away now? People get sick, some people distant themselves in order to protect themselves from getting hurt. I do not think this applies to me but one never knows. A good way to say goodbye is walking away angry. That is a cowards way. Perhaps I am a coward? I doubt it but I am open to exploring.

I think I have more resentment than anything but all negative emotions seem to be related as a therapist would say.

 

[UnI2B]

Thank you Seana30

I told my Grandmother numerous times that I do not like when she says her famous line "you should live to be my age" That comes when I tell her not to complain and appreciate she is alive.

Now what she is saying is a nice thing- but when I tell her that I doubt that I will make it to that age, i do not want to think about it so to speak, she does not listen. I tell her I do not want to be compared to her.

The last time she said it, I said Grandma I do not think so I told you I do not like that. she laughed.

So she must be having some dementia or she is a total inconsiderate person at times.

I doubt that I am jealous of her but i think I resent her for not appreciating her long life and for all the years she sat on her a$$ and did not do much as far as exercise or leaving her house or trying to help my Mother or trying to learn to drive and get on with life.

She purposely shut herself off from the family and now she is resenting us for whatever stupid reason. she did it to herself. A self fullfilling prophesy.

Maybe I know she is coming close to death and I do not want to deal with it later so I am pushing her away now? People get sick, some people distant themselves in order to protect themselves from getting hurt. I do not think this applies to me but one never knows. A good way to say goodbye is walking away angry. That is a cowards way. Perhaps I am a coward? I doubt it but I am open to exploring.

I think I have more resentment than anything but all negative emotions seem to be related as a therapist would say.

 

[Mockingbird]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>UnI2B</b></i>

I just realized what this is all about. My Grandma is jealous that my sister and I got all the attention. Since we both were Sick kids, grandma did not get the attention from her son like she could have received if we did not take up so much time. My grandma's husband never respected her and was always yelling at her so she has some major issues regarding attention and now that she is an old bitty, she is feeling really lonely. I need to realize that she is always crying out for attention. by saying back handed comments all through the years, that was a sign of resentment that she always had. She was jealous of my mother bigtime.
</end quote></div>

I think you are right. I work as a cook in a nursing home for alzheimer's patients, so I know what you mean. Even with alzheimer's, there is a big difference between people who are at peace and people who are living with unresolved anger or jealousy or regret. I find the only thing I can do is pray for them, if you believe in that sort of thing.

 

[Mockingbird]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>UnI2B</b></i>

I just realized what this is all about. My Grandma is jealous that my sister and I got all the attention. Since we both were Sick kids, grandma did not get the attention from her son like she could have received if we did not take up so much time. My grandma's husband never respected her and was always yelling at her so she has some major issues regarding attention and now that she is an old bitty, she is feeling really lonely. I need to realize that she is always crying out for attention. by saying back handed comments all through the years, that was a sign of resentment that she always had. She was jealous of my mother bigtime.
</end quote></div>

I think you are right. I work as a cook in a nursing home for alzheimer's patients, so I know what you mean. Even with alzheimer's, there is a big difference between people who are at peace and people who are living with unresolved anger or jealousy or regret. I find the only thing I can do is pray for them, if you believe in that sort of thing.

 

[Mockingbird]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>UnI2B</b></i>

I just realized what this is all about. My Grandma is jealous that my sister and I got all the attention. Since we both were Sick kids, grandma did not get the attention from her son like she could have received if we did not take up so much time. My grandma's husband never respected her and was always yelling at her so she has some major issues regarding attention and now that she is an old bitty, she is feeling really lonely. I need to realize that she is always crying out for attention. by saying back handed comments all through the years, that was a sign of resentment that she always had. She was jealous of my mother bigtime.
</end quote></div>

I think you are right. I work as a cook in a nursing home for alzheimer's patients, so I know what you mean. Even with alzheimer's, there is a big difference between people who are at peace and people who are living with unresolved anger or jealousy or regret. I find the only thing I can do is pray for them, if you believe in that sort of thing.

 

[Mockingbird]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>UnI2B</b></i>

I just realized what this is all about. My Grandma is jealous that my sister and I got all the attention. Since we both were Sick kids, grandma did not get the attention from her son like she could have received if we did not take up so much time. My grandma's husband never respected her and was always yelling at her so she has some major issues regarding attention and now that she is an old bitty, she is feeling really lonely. I need to realize that she is always crying out for attention. by saying back handed comments all through the years, that was a sign of resentment that she always had. She was jealous of my mother bigtime.
</end quote>

I think you are right. I work as a cook in a nursing home for alzheimer's patients, so I know what you mean. Even with alzheimer's, there is a big difference between people who are at peace and people who are living with unresolved anger or jealousy or regret. I find the only thing I can do is pray for them, if you believe in that sort of thing.

 

[Mockingbird]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>UnI2B</b></i>

I just realized what this is all about. My Grandma is jealous that my sister and I got all the attention. Since we both were Sick kids, grandma did not get the attention from her son like she could have received if we did not take up so much time. My grandma's husband never respected her and was always yelling at her so she has some major issues regarding attention and now that she is an old bitty, she is feeling really lonely. I need to realize that she is always crying out for attention. by saying back handed comments all through the years, that was a sign of resentment that she always had. She was jealous of my mother bigtime.
</end quote>

I think you are right. I work as a cook in a nursing home for alzheimer's patients, so I know what you mean. Even with alzheimer's, there is a big difference between people who are at peace and people who are living with unresolved anger or jealousy or regret. I find the only thing I can do is pray for them, if you believe in that sort of thing.

 

[UnI2B]

Thank you Mockingbird

I agree that Prayer is very powerful. I think the best thing for me is to remain silent and change the subject this way, I listen to her and hope that she will say something positive that I can relate too.

I asked my Father if she does the same thing with him. He said sometimes. She feels since my sister and I have been sick that we would understand.

She asked for some guidance but never listens. from now on, I wil not offer any suggestions because it always turns around with a lack of appreciation when I talk from the heart and I am trying to offer her love and support.

You cannot teach an old dog new tricks. If someone is unhappy, some people want you to feel that too.
thank you

 

[UnI2B]

Thank you Mockingbird

I agree that Prayer is very powerful. I think the best thing for me is to remain silent and change the subject this way, I listen to her and hope that she will say something positive that I can relate too.

I asked my Father if she does the same thing with him. He said sometimes. She feels since my sister and I have been sick that we would understand.

She asked for some guidance but never listens. from now on, I wil not offer any suggestions because it always turns around with a lack of appreciation when I talk from the heart and I am trying to offer her love and support.

You cannot teach an old dog new tricks. If someone is unhappy, some people want you to feel that too.
thank you

 

[UnI2B]

Thank you Mockingbird

I agree that Prayer is very powerful. I think the best thing for me is to remain silent and change the subject this way, I listen to her and hope that she will say something positive that I can relate too.

I asked my Father if she does the same thing with him. He said sometimes. She feels since my sister and I have been sick that we would understand.

She asked for some guidance but never listens. from now on, I wil not offer any suggestions because it always turns around with a lack of appreciation when I talk from the heart and I am trying to offer her love and support.

You cannot teach an old dog new tricks. If someone is unhappy, some people want you to feel that too.
thank you

 

[UnI2B]

Thank you Mockingbird

I agree that Prayer is very powerful. I think the best thing for me is to remain silent and change the subject this way, I listen to her and hope that she will say something positive that I can relate too.

I asked my Father if she does the same thing with him. He said sometimes. She feels since my sister and I have been sick that we would understand.

She asked for some guidance but never listens. from now on, I wil not offer any suggestions because it always turns around with a lack of appreciation when I talk from the heart and I am trying to offer her love and support.

You cannot teach an old dog new tricks. If someone is unhappy, some people want you to feel that too.
thank you

 

[UnI2B]

Thank you Mockingbird

I agree that Prayer is very powerful. I think the best thing for me is to remain silent and change the subject this way, I listen to her and hope that she will say something positive that I can relate too.

I asked my Father if she does the same thing with him. He said sometimes. She feels since my sister and I have been sick that we would understand.

She asked for some guidance but never listens. from now on, I wil not offer any suggestions because it always turns around with a lack of appreciation when I talk from the heart and I am trying to offer her love and support.

You cannot teach an old dog new tricks. If someone is unhappy, some people want you to feel that too.
thank you

 

[coltsfan715]

I can relate to this with alot of people in my life of various ages.

Firstly the most similar to your situation is also with my grandmother. She has been complaining of old age and saying that she "won't make it through the year" for the past decade if not longer. The woman used to drive me insane. She had about EVERY medical test performed and everything came back normal and she was not satisfied. She was a bonafide hypochondriac. She did NOT rest until she gave herself a problem basically. She convinced a doctor that she was in so much pain from carpal tunnel - the woman does and did NOTHING to really give herself carpal tunnel by the way but that is another story. She had surgery for that and was fine.

THEN the issues began. She decided to get something from the fridge one day and when she opened the door a piece of fruit went to roll out and when she moved quickly to catch it she tore her rotator cuff or something to that effect. Ultimately she had surgery for that and it has been one issue after another since then. She is now in a nursing home because she requires more care than any one person in our family can give her. Also to add she could have recovered from her surgery and would most likely not have had all the issues she did and does if she would take care of herself and make an effort to get out of bed at times, but she doesn't really care enough to do that.

Everytime I talk to her I want to scream because I get lectured for not calling her and telling her how I am doing. I get lectured for not coming to visit - she lives in another state about 10 hours away from me by the way. I am constantly told how hard things are for her and how this will probably be " the year ". I don't mince words with her really anymore - everytime she says that she is going to die soon I just say Granny you have been saying that for over a decade and LOOK you are still around - so stop allready. It doesn't stop her, she still keeps going but it makes me feel better to just say how I feel.

My granny is also just plain rude. Right after my cousin had her baby all she could say - was NOT how cute the baby was which he WAS adorable - but it was when you are going to lose some weight? Then she feels the need to constantly lecture one of my other cousins who happens to be gay. A visit with our grandmother is never a simple task. As for me I have pretty much drawn the line with her as of a few months ago and I haven't talked to her since.

I was called for transplant on May 2nd of this year. I spent 2 weeks in the hospital and my dad made me call her during that time. I will be honest I hate talking on the phone most of the time. I just don't like talking if I have nothing to say. If I have not had anything happen that is interesting enough to speak of basically. Then when you add it is the woman who does nothing but say she is going to die and blah blah I have difficulty feeling a desire to talk to her - but anywho. He calls her and hands the phone to me - then things seem fine she is happy to hear from me and happy I am doing well. Then ... prepare yourself. She starts to lecture me .... NOT because I haven't called her ... NOT because I haven't visited ... BUT BECAUSE I better NOT start SMOKING now. WTF?!? My mouth dropped open and I wanted to jump through the phone and smack her. She continued to tell me that she knew how I was and that she didn't want to see me throw this opportunity away. I just quite bluntly told her she had no clue who I was and obviously she knew NOTHING about me or she would know better than to say that to me and to even insinuate that I would do such a thing. Also to add - she smoked over half her life.

Then as if that were not enough of a smack in the face - she proceeded to say that the only reason I was doing so well post transplant was because my DAD deserved after having to deal with my illness so long (to hell with me and my having to deal with CF for so long .. and MY having to be the one sick and dying)and that he was a great father and that God was just telling HIM job well done (also to add just highly entertaining because well yeah ... just a totally different story all together). Again I wanted to jump through the phone and beat her with it. I just didn't know what to say - do I give the niceties that are expected or do I rip her a new one. I just said riiiiiight ... I am done with this conversation granny bye and handed the phone to my father. Then when he hung up I told him I don't want to talk to her again .. EVER. That was a few months ago and I haven't talked to her since and I am getting the impression that though I would have liked a relationship with her - heck I always wanted one when I was younger - that it will not happen. The whole thing bothered me to the point that I was having nightmares about it in the hospital - they were somewhat entertaining to think on now, but at the time they weren't.

There are just times when all people reach a point where the irritation and resentment turn into complete and utter dislike - it sometimes doesn't matter who the person is or if they are related to you or not.

Also to add I have had similar issues happen between me and friends my age and people that are my parents age. It is just ignorance at times and sometimes it is caused by resentment or just down right hatefulness. It really just depends on the person I am dealing with as to how far I let the situation go.

Take Care,
Lindsey

 

[coltsfan715]

I can relate to this with alot of people in my life of various ages.

Firstly the most similar to your situation is also with my grandmother. She has been complaining of old age and saying that she "won't make it through the year" for the past decade if not longer. The woman used to drive me insane. She had about EVERY medical test performed and everything came back normal and she was not satisfied. She was a bonafide hypochondriac. She did NOT rest until she gave herself a problem basically. She convinced a doctor that she was in so much pain from carpal tunnel - the woman does and did NOTHING to really give herself carpal tunnel by the way but that is another story. She had surgery for that and was fine.

THEN the issues began. She decided to get something from the fridge one day and when she opened the door a piece of fruit went to roll out and when she moved quickly to catch it she tore her rotator cuff or something to that effect. Ultimately she had surgery for that and it has been one issue after another since then. She is now in a nursing home because she requires more care than any one person in our family can give her. Also to add she could have recovered from her surgery and would most likely not have had all the issues she did and does if she would take care of herself and make an effort to get out of bed at times, but she doesn't really care enough to do that.

Everytime I talk to her I want to scream because I get lectured for not calling her and telling her how I am doing. I get lectured for not coming to visit - she lives in another state about 10 hours away from me by the way. I am constantly told how hard things are for her and how this will probably be " the year ". I don't mince words with her really anymore - everytime she says that she is going to die soon I just say Granny you have been saying that for over a decade and LOOK you are still around - so stop allready. It doesn't stop her, she still keeps going but it makes me feel better to just say how I feel.

My granny is also just plain rude. Right after my cousin had her baby all she could say - was NOT how cute the baby was which he WAS adorable - but it was when you are going to lose some weight? Then she feels the need to constantly lecture one of my other cousins who happens to be gay. A visit with our grandmother is never a simple task. As for me I have pretty much drawn the line with her as of a few months ago and I haven't talked to her since.

I was called for transplant on May 2nd of this year. I spent 2 weeks in the hospital and my dad made me call her during that time. I will be honest I hate talking on the phone most of the time. I just don't like talking if I have nothing to say. If I have not had anything happen that is interesting enough to speak of basically. Then when you add it is the woman who does nothing but say she is going to die and blah blah I have difficulty feeling a desire to talk to her - but anywho. He calls her and hands the phone to me - then things seem fine she is happy to hear from me and happy I am doing well. Then ... prepare yourself. She starts to lecture me .... NOT because I haven't called her ... NOT because I haven't visited ... BUT BECAUSE I better NOT start SMOKING now. WTF?!? My mouth dropped open and I wanted to jump through the phone and smack her. She continued to tell me that she knew how I was and that she didn't want to see me throw this opportunity away. I just quite bluntly told her she had no clue who I was and obviously she knew NOTHING about me or she would know better than to say that to me and to even insinuate that I would do such a thing. Also to add - she smoked over half her life.

Then as if that were not enough of a smack in the face - she proceeded to say that the only reason I was doing so well post transplant was because my DAD deserved after having to deal with my illness so long (to hell with me and my having to deal with CF for so long .. and MY having to be the one sick and dying)and that he was a great father and that God was just telling HIM job well done (also to add just highly entertaining because well yeah ... just a totally different story all together). Again I wanted to jump through the phone and beat her with it. I just didn't know what to say - do I give the niceties that are expected or do I rip her a new one. I just said riiiiiight ... I am done with this conversation granny bye and handed the phone to my father. Then when he hung up I told him I don't want to talk to her again .. EVER. That was a few months ago and I haven't talked to her since and I am getting the impression that though I would have liked a relationship with her - heck I always wanted one when I was younger - that it will not happen. The whole thing bothered me to the point that I was having nightmares about it in the hospital - they were somewhat entertaining to think on now, but at the time they weren't.

There are just times when all people reach a point where the irritation and resentment turn into complete and utter dislike - it sometimes doesn't matter who the person is or if they are related to you or not.

Also to add I have had similar issues happen between me and friends my age and people that are my parents age. It is just ignorance at times and sometimes it is caused by resentment or just down right hatefulness. It really just depends on the person I am dealing with as to how far I let the situation go.

Take Care,
Lindsey

 

[coltsfan715]

I can relate to this with alot of people in my life of various ages.

Firstly the most similar to your situation is also with my grandmother. She has been complaining of old age and saying that she "won't make it through the year" for the past decade if not longer. The woman used to drive me insane. She had about EVERY medical test performed and everything came back normal and she was not satisfied. She was a bonafide hypochondriac. She did NOT rest until she gave herself a problem basically. She convinced a doctor that she was in so much pain from carpal tunnel - the woman does and did NOTHING to really give herself carpal tunnel by the way but that is another story. She had surgery for that and was fine.

THEN the issues began. She decided to get something from the fridge one day and when she opened the door a piece of fruit went to roll out and when she moved quickly to catch it she tore her rotator cuff or something to that effect. Ultimately she had surgery for that and it has been one issue after another since then. She is now in a nursing home because she requires more care than any one person in our family can give her. Also to add she could have recovered from her surgery and would most likely not have had all the issues she did and does if she would take care of herself and make an effort to get out of bed at times, but she doesn't really care enough to do that.

Everytime I talk to her I want to scream because I get lectured for not calling her and telling her how I am doing. I get lectured for not coming to visit - she lives in another state about 10 hours away from me by the way. I am constantly told how hard things are for her and how this will probably be " the year ". I don't mince words with her really anymore - everytime she says that she is going to die soon I just say Granny you have been saying that for over a decade and LOOK you are still around - so stop allready. It doesn't stop her, she still keeps going but it makes me feel better to just say how I feel.

My granny is also just plain rude. Right after my cousin had her baby all she could say - was NOT how cute the baby was which he WAS adorable - but it was when you are going to lose some weight? Then she feels the need to constantly lecture one of my other cousins who happens to be gay. A visit with our grandmother is never a simple task. As for me I have pretty much drawn the line with her as of a few months ago and I haven't talked to her since.

I was called for transplant on May 2nd of this year. I spent 2 weeks in the hospital and my dad made me call her during that time. I will be honest I hate talking on the phone most of the time. I just don't like talking if I have nothing to say. If I have not had anything happen that is interesting enough to speak of basically. Then when you add it is the woman who does nothing but say she is going to die and blah blah I have difficulty feeling a desire to talk to her - but anywho. He calls her and hands the phone to me - then things seem fine she is happy to hear from me and happy I am doing well. Then ... prepare yourself. She starts to lecture me .... NOT because I haven't called her ... NOT because I haven't visited ... BUT BECAUSE I better NOT start SMOKING now. WTF?!? My mouth dropped open and I wanted to jump through the phone and smack her. She continued to tell me that she knew how I was and that she didn't want to see me throw this opportunity away. I just quite bluntly told her she had no clue who I was and obviously she knew NOTHING about me or she would know better than to say that to me and to even insinuate that I would do such a thing. Also to add - she smoked over half her life.

Then as if that were not enough of a smack in the face - she proceeded to say that the only reason I was doing so well post transplant was because my DAD deserved after having to deal with my illness so long (to hell with me and my having to deal with CF for so long .. and MY having to be the one sick and dying)and that he was a great father and that God was just telling HIM job well done (also to add just highly entertaining because well yeah ... just a totally different story all together). Again I wanted to jump through the phone and beat her with it. I just didn't know what to say - do I give the niceties that are expected or do I rip her a new one. I just said riiiiiight ... I am done with this conversation granny bye and handed the phone to my father. Then when he hung up I told him I don't want to talk to her again .. EVER. That was a few months ago and I haven't talked to her since and I am getting the impression that though I would have liked a relationship with her - heck I always wanted one when I was younger - that it will not happen. The whole thing bothered me to the point that I was having nightmares about it in the hospital - they were somewhat entertaining to think on now, but at the time they weren't.

There are just times when all people reach a point where the irritation and resentment turn into complete and utter dislike - it sometimes doesn't matter who the person is or if they are related to you or not.

Also to add I have had similar issues happen between me and friends my age and people that are my parents age. It is just ignorance at times and sometimes it is caused by resentment or just down right hatefulness. It really just depends on the person I am dealing with as to how far I let the situation go.

Take Care,
Lindsey

 

[coltsfan715]

I can relate to this with alot of people in my life of various ages.

Firstly the most similar to your situation is also with my grandmother. She has been complaining of old age and saying that she "won't make it through the year" for the past decade if not longer. The woman used to drive me insane. She had about EVERY medical test performed and everything came back normal and she was not satisfied. She was a bonafide hypochondriac. She did NOT rest until she gave herself a problem basically. She convinced a doctor that she was in so much pain from carpal tunnel - the woman does and did NOTHING to really give herself carpal tunnel by the way but that is another story. She had surgery for that and was fine.

THEN the issues began. She decided to get something from the fridge one day and when she opened the door a piece of fruit went to roll out and when she moved quickly to catch it she tore her rotator cuff or something to that effect. Ultimately she had surgery for that and it has been one issue after another since then. She is now in a nursing home because she requires more care than any one person in our family can give her. Also to add she could have recovered from her surgery and would most likely not have had all the issues she did and does if she would take care of herself and make an effort to get out of bed at times, but she doesn't really care enough to do that.

Everytime I talk to her I want to scream because I get lectured for not calling her and telling her how I am doing. I get lectured for not coming to visit - she lives in another state about 10 hours away from me by the way. I am constantly told how hard things are for her and how this will probably be " the year ". I don't mince words with her really anymore - everytime she says that she is going to die soon I just say Granny you have been saying that for over a decade and LOOK you are still around - so stop allready. It doesn't stop her, she still keeps going but it makes me feel better to just say how I feel.

My granny is also just plain rude. Right after my cousin had her baby all she could say - was NOT how cute the baby was which he WAS adorable - but it was when you are going to lose some weight? Then she feels the need to constantly lecture one of my other cousins who happens to be gay. A visit with our grandmother is never a simple task. As for me I have pretty much drawn the line with her as of a few months ago and I haven't talked to her since.

I was called for transplant on May 2nd of this year. I spent 2 weeks in the hospital and my dad made me call her during that time. I will be honest I hate talking on the phone most of the time. I just don't like talking if I have nothing to say. If I have not had anything happen that is interesting enough to speak of basically. Then when you add it is the woman who does nothing but say she is going to die and blah blah I have difficulty feeling a desire to talk to her - but anywho. He calls her and hands the phone to me - then things seem fine she is happy to hear from me and happy I am doing well. Then ... prepare yourself. She starts to lecture me .... NOT because I haven't called her ... NOT because I haven't visited ... BUT BECAUSE I better NOT start SMOKING now. WTF?!? My mouth dropped open and I wanted to jump through the phone and smack her. She continued to tell me that she knew how I was and that she didn't want to see me throw this opportunity away. I just quite bluntly told her she had no clue who I was and obviously she knew NOTHING about me or she would know better than to say that to me and to even insinuate that I would do such a thing. Also to add - she smoked over half her life.

Then as if that were not enough of a smack in the face - she proceeded to say that the only reason I was doing so well post transplant was because my DAD deserved after having to deal with my illness so long (to hell with me and my having to deal with CF for so long .. and MY having to be the one sick and dying)and that he was a great father and that God was just telling HIM job well done (also to add just highly entertaining because well yeah ... just a totally different story all together). Again I wanted to jump through the phone and beat her with it. I just didn't know what to say - do I give the niceties that are expected or do I rip her a new one. I just said riiiiiight ... I am done with this conversation granny bye and handed the phone to my father. Then when he hung up I told him I don't want to talk to her again .. EVER. That was a few months ago and I haven't talked to her since and I am getting the impression that though I would have liked a relationship with her - heck I always wanted one when I was younger - that it will not happen. The whole thing bothered me to the point that I was having nightmares about it in the hospital - they were somewhat entertaining to think on now, but at the time they weren't.

There are just times when all people reach a point where the irritation and resentment turn into complete and utter dislike - it sometimes doesn't matter who the person is or if they are related to you or not.

Also to add I have had similar issues happen between me and friends my age and people that are my parents age. It is just ignorance at times and sometimes it is caused by resentment or just down right hatefulness. It really just depends on the person I am dealing with as to how far I let the situation go.

Take Care,
Lindsey

 

[coltsfan715]

I can relate to this with alot of people in my life of various ages.

Firstly the most similar to your situation is also with my grandmother. She has been complaining of old age and saying that she "won't make it through the year" for the past decade if not longer. The woman used to drive me insane. She had about EVERY medical test performed and everything came back normal and she was not satisfied. She was a bonafide hypochondriac. She did NOT rest until she gave herself a problem basically. She convinced a doctor that she was in so much pain from carpal tunnel - the woman does and did NOTHING to really give herself carpal tunnel by the way but that is another story. She had surgery for that and was fine.

THEN the issues began. She decided to get something from the fridge one day and when she opened the door a piece of fruit went to roll out and when she moved quickly to catch it she tore her rotator cuff or something to that effect. Ultimately she had surgery for that and it has been one issue after another since then. She is now in a nursing home because she requires more care than any one person in our family can give her. Also to add she could have recovered from her surgery and would most likely not have had all the issues she did and does if she would take care of herself and make an effort to get out of bed at times, but she doesn't really care enough to do that.

Everytime I talk to her I want to scream because I get lectured for not calling her and telling her how I am doing. I get lectured for not coming to visit - she lives in another state about 10 hours away from me by the way. I am constantly told how hard things are for her and how this will probably be " the year ". I don't mince words with her really anymore - everytime she says that she is going to die soon I just say Granny you have been saying that for over a decade and LOOK you are still around - so stop allready. It doesn't stop her, she still keeps going but it makes me feel better to just say how I feel.

My granny is also just plain rude. Right after my cousin had her baby all she could say - was NOT how cute the baby was which he WAS adorable - but it was when you are going to lose some weight? Then she feels the need to constantly lecture one of my other cousins who happens to be gay. A visit with our grandmother is never a simple task. As for me I have pretty much drawn the line with her as of a few months ago and I haven't talked to her since.

I was called for transplant on May 2nd of this year. I spent 2 weeks in the hospital and my dad made me call her during that time. I will be honest I hate talking on the phone most of the time. I just don't like talking if I have nothing to say. If I have not had anything happen that is interesting enough to speak of basically. Then when you add it is the woman who does nothing but say she is going to die and blah blah I have difficulty feeling a desire to talk to her - but anywho. He calls her and hands the phone to me - then things seem fine she is happy to hear from me and happy I am doing well. Then ... prepare yourself. She starts to lecture me .... NOT because I haven't called her ... NOT because I haven't visited ... BUT BECAUSE I better NOT start SMOKING now. WTF?!? My mouth dropped open and I wanted to jump through the phone and smack her. She continued to tell me that she knew how I was and that she didn't want to see me throw this opportunity away. I just quite bluntly told her she had no clue who I was and obviously she knew NOTHING about me or she would know better than to say that to me and to even insinuate that I would do such a thing. Also to add - she smoked over half her life.

Then as if that were not enough of a smack in the face - she proceeded to say that the only reason I was doing so well post transplant was because my DAD deserved after having to deal with my illness so long (to hell with me and my having to deal with CF for so long .. and MY having to be the one sick and dying)and that he was a great father and that God was just telling HIM job well done (also to add just highly entertaining because well yeah ... just a totally different story all together). Again I wanted to jump through the phone and beat her with it. I just didn't know what to say - do I give the niceties that are expected or do I rip her a new one. I just said riiiiiight ... I am done with this conversation granny bye and handed the phone to my father. Then when he hung up I told him I don't want to talk to her again .. EVER. That was a few months ago and I haven't talked to her since and I am getting the impression that though I would have liked a relationship with her - heck I always wanted one when I was younger - that it will not happen. The whole thing bothered me to the point that I was having nightmares about it in the hospital - they were somewhat entertaining to think on now, but at the time they weren't.

There are just times when all people reach a point where the irritation and resentment turn into complete and utter dislike - it sometimes doesn't matter who the person is or if they are related to you or not.

Also to add I have had similar issues happen between me and friends my age and people that are my parents age. It is just ignorance at times and sometimes it is caused by resentment or just down right hatefulness. It really just depends on the person I am dealing with as to how far I let the situation go.

Take Care,
Lindsey