Hi I am new to this site. My name is Teddy and I have CF. I have a Grandma who is alive and 92 years old. She has been complaining to me since I have known her that she is getting old. All I hear from her is how old she is getting. Yes I know she is lacking attention but she says over and over again, you should live to be my age. How that pisses me off. I tell her how much it bothers me but she continues every now and then to say this and she will laugh alittle along the way. My Mom tells me that she was a very mean MIL to her and I have heard some stories in action. My grandma has this very sweet voice, and she will always say things like, you know I am always honest and she just gets under my skin. She always used me to get back to my parents but I never told them anything lol.
I hardly see her because she is a very draining person to be around. All she talks about is money. how others feel when she dies who will get her money or shall I say she says, "I wonder how your parents feel about what I will leave them when I die." They do not need her money. She is hoping that I go back and repeat all the nasty things she says but I never do as I said before.
I try very hard to tell her that even though she is old, she can still live longer if she would only move around. She has one foot in the grave as the saying goes. I told her that if you keep on talking this way all the time, you are not going to feel better and yes if you want to die that will happen.
I stopped asking her how she is feeling because all she says is I am an old lady and you know it is not easy. I do love her but I cannot stand calling her. When I try and help her, she turns it around on me as I am the problem. She does not say anything but she obviously does not want my help but she acts like she does because she is playing the pity me I am old routine.
She told me I am on oxygen with a sound of pity in her voice. I have been on oxygen at times. I tried telling her some advice and show lots of concern and have my father call her to come to her aid then she turns it around and says, I need to listen to my doctor. All I told her was to get a pulse oximeter that is all. If I gave her mine she would give it to the maids.
I sort of feel guilty because when she is gone, I will miss her but everytime I calll her or she calls me, I have to bite my tongue before it bleeds.
Having CF, do you have any other family members who throw their complaining of age in your face all the time? She has been doing this forever. I told her today, you are always complaining and you never say anything positive. You need to be grateful that you made it this far in life. I now believe the more positive things I say the more negative she will get. She does not ask how I am doing anymore. She might be losing her mind and it is hard for me to deal with because she sounds and speaks normal just with a pityful voice of complaint after complaint.
I guess I am lacking compassion but for everyone else, I have so much love and compassion for. Have you experienced what i am sharing? She tells me "you never come see me" I know that is true and even though she lives far away, I do not feel like seeing her unless my wife will go with me. My Grandma says bad things about my wife too. So who wants to go? She will tell my wife that she gained weight and tells me on the phone, who needs her she does not make enough money.
The list goes on so yes I have a deep resentment for her. My entire family feels very similar to me (but only my mother tells me) I pity my poor mother who has to go with my father to see her.
Sorry to throw this on all of you the first time through an intro but I had to find someone to talk to and what better than a crowd like cf.
Oh I had to have my teeth fixed and some caps put on and she said, oh they are so big now with a critical eye. They are not big they look good. My sister had a transplant and she told my father to let her die and not let her go through the transplant. Can you believe? the nerve.
Sorry for this rant but please someone out there, tell me I am not the only one. I have met some nice old people who I love to be around. It is not all old people. Some are just Friggin bleepin whatever!
People never change and I will accept her for who she is but she certainly knows how to throw in a stiff arm. She probably does not even know what she is doing wrong because she has been playing this game all her life.
Can anyone relate?
thank you in advance
I hardly see her because she is a very draining person to be around. All she talks about is money. how others feel when she dies who will get her money or shall I say she says, "I wonder how your parents feel about what I will leave them when I die." They do not need her money. She is hoping that I go back and repeat all the nasty things she says but I never do as I said before.
I try very hard to tell her that even though she is old, she can still live longer if she would only move around. She has one foot in the grave as the saying goes. I told her that if you keep on talking this way all the time, you are not going to feel better and yes if you want to die that will happen.
I stopped asking her how she is feeling because all she says is I am an old lady and you know it is not easy. I do love her but I cannot stand calling her. When I try and help her, she turns it around on me as I am the problem. She does not say anything but she obviously does not want my help but she acts like she does because she is playing the pity me I am old routine.
She told me I am on oxygen with a sound of pity in her voice. I have been on oxygen at times. I tried telling her some advice and show lots of concern and have my father call her to come to her aid then she turns it around and says, I need to listen to my doctor. All I told her was to get a pulse oximeter that is all. If I gave her mine she would give it to the maids.
I sort of feel guilty because when she is gone, I will miss her but everytime I calll her or she calls me, I have to bite my tongue before it bleeds.
Having CF, do you have any other family members who throw their complaining of age in your face all the time? She has been doing this forever. I told her today, you are always complaining and you never say anything positive. You need to be grateful that you made it this far in life. I now believe the more positive things I say the more negative she will get. She does not ask how I am doing anymore. She might be losing her mind and it is hard for me to deal with because she sounds and speaks normal just with a pityful voice of complaint after complaint.
I guess I am lacking compassion but for everyone else, I have so much love and compassion for. Have you experienced what i am sharing? She tells me "you never come see me" I know that is true and even though she lives far away, I do not feel like seeing her unless my wife will go with me. My Grandma says bad things about my wife too. So who wants to go? She will tell my wife that she gained weight and tells me on the phone, who needs her she does not make enough money.
The list goes on so yes I have a deep resentment for her. My entire family feels very similar to me (but only my mother tells me) I pity my poor mother who has to go with my father to see her.
Sorry to throw this on all of you the first time through an intro but I had to find someone to talk to and what better than a crowd like cf.
Oh I had to have my teeth fixed and some caps put on and she said, oh they are so big now with a critical eye. They are not big they look good. My sister had a transplant and she told my father to let her die and not let her go through the transplant. Can you believe? the nerve.
Sorry for this rant but please someone out there, tell me I am not the only one. I have met some nice old people who I love to be around. It is not all old people. Some are just Friggin bleepin whatever!
People never change and I will accept her for who she is but she certainly knows how to throw in a stiff arm. She probably does not even know what she is doing wrong because she has been playing this game all her life.
Can anyone relate?
thank you in advance