relationship trouble

[laulau555]

The best exercise for my boyfriend and I to build a stronger relationship, was having to deal with CF. When there are healthy days we celebrate together, and when there are not-so-good days he's right there just as afraid and upset as I am. But he comforts me, and together we deal with things, and that has brought us so close. She is crying because she cares about you. We have days when I'm not happy, but I don't see that as a negative thing. Sometimes it takes adversity and coping with problems to really grow stronger, and as hard as it is, you will only be stronger as a couple because of it.

I tend to avoid topics such as death and getting sick, though we both know it's going to happen. When we do talk about it, its difficult, but we always try to look at it in a positive light and you must always remember that she is with you because she loves you, and if it hurts her to see you in pain, it just shows you how MUCH she loves you.

 

[laulau555]

The best exercise for my boyfriend and I to build a stronger relationship, was having to deal with CF. When there are healthy days we celebrate together, and when there are not-so-good days he's right there just as afraid and upset as I am. But he comforts me, and together we deal with things, and that has brought us so close. She is crying because she cares about you. We have days when I'm not happy, but I don't see that as a negative thing. Sometimes it takes adversity and coping with problems to really grow stronger, and as hard as it is, you will only be stronger as a couple because of it.

I tend to avoid topics such as death and getting sick, though we both know it's going to happen. When we do talk about it, its difficult, but we always try to look at it in a positive light and you must always remember that she is with you because she loves you, and if it hurts her to see you in pain, it just shows you how MUCH she loves you.

 

[laulau555]

The best exercise for my boyfriend and I to build a stronger relationship, was having to deal with CF. When there are healthy days we celebrate together, and when there are not-so-good days he's right there just as afraid and upset as I am. But he comforts me, and together we deal with things, and that has brought us so close. She is crying because she cares about you. We have days when I'm not happy, but I don't see that as a negative thing. Sometimes it takes adversity and coping with problems to really grow stronger, and as hard as it is, you will only be stronger as a couple because of it.

I tend to avoid topics such as death and getting sick, though we both know it's going to happen. When we do talk about it, its difficult, but we always try to look at it in a positive light and you must always remember that she is with you because she loves you, and if it hurts her to see you in pain, it just shows you how MUCH she loves you.

 

[laulau555]

The best exercise for my boyfriend and I to build a stronger relationship, was having to deal with CF. When there are healthy days we celebrate together, and when there are not-so-good days he's right there just as afraid and upset as I am. But he comforts me, and together we deal with things, and that has brought us so close. She is crying because she cares about you. We have days when I'm not happy, but I don't see that as a negative thing. Sometimes it takes adversity and coping with problems to really grow stronger, and as hard as it is, you will only be stronger as a couple because of it.

I tend to avoid topics such as death and getting sick, though we both know it's going to happen. When we do talk about it, its difficult, but we always try to look at it in a positive light and you must always remember that she is with you because she loves you, and if it hurts her to see you in pain, it just shows you how MUCH she loves you.

 

[laulau555]

The best exercise for my boyfriend and I to build a stronger relationship, was having to deal with CF. When there are healthy days we celebrate together, and when there are not-so-good days he's right there just as afraid and upset as I am. But he comforts me, and together we deal with things, and that has brought us so close. She is crying because she cares about you. We have days when I'm not happy, but I don't see that as a negative thing. Sometimes it takes adversity and coping with problems to really grow stronger, and as hard as it is, you will only be stronger as a couple because of it.
<br />
<br />I tend to avoid topics such as death and getting sick, though we both know it's going to happen. When we do talk about it, its difficult, but we always try to look at it in a positive light and you must always remember that she is with you because she loves you, and if it hurts her to see you in pain, it just shows you how MUCH she loves you.

 

[soderick]

I understand your feelings. I sometimes feel like I'm pushing my relationship to the brink with everything CF entails. I feel such guilt for being a burden, whether it's to my boyfriend, my parents, or my friends. I have been in only one serious relationship before this one, but that guy just didn't get it. CF was always something outside our relationship, something that wasn't his problem. The man I'm with now is so great. He often copes better than I do and counsels me when I'm feeling down. He is with me every step of the way. The other day, he made dinner, and on the table in front of my plate were all my nightly pills, including the right number of enzymes. Such a small gesture is proof to me that he cares and is willing to go all the way with me. If you, like me, have a committed partner and are letting your guilt get in the way, you need to just try to accept that unconditional love. It might be difficult to believe, but some people are just that fantastic.

 

[soderick]

I understand your feelings. I sometimes feel like I'm pushing my relationship to the brink with everything CF entails. I feel such guilt for being a burden, whether it's to my boyfriend, my parents, or my friends. I have been in only one serious relationship before this one, but that guy just didn't get it. CF was always something outside our relationship, something that wasn't his problem. The man I'm with now is so great. He often copes better than I do and counsels me when I'm feeling down. He is with me every step of the way. The other day, he made dinner, and on the table in front of my plate were all my nightly pills, including the right number of enzymes. Such a small gesture is proof to me that he cares and is willing to go all the way with me. If you, like me, have a committed partner and are letting your guilt get in the way, you need to just try to accept that unconditional love. It might be difficult to believe, but some people are just that fantastic.

 

[soderick]

I understand your feelings. I sometimes feel like I'm pushing my relationship to the brink with everything CF entails. I feel such guilt for being a burden, whether it's to my boyfriend, my parents, or my friends. I have been in only one serious relationship before this one, but that guy just didn't get it. CF was always something outside our relationship, something that wasn't his problem. The man I'm with now is so great. He often copes better than I do and counsels me when I'm feeling down. He is with me every step of the way. The other day, he made dinner, and on the table in front of my plate were all my nightly pills, including the right number of enzymes. Such a small gesture is proof to me that he cares and is willing to go all the way with me. If you, like me, have a committed partner and are letting your guilt get in the way, you need to just try to accept that unconditional love. It might be difficult to believe, but some people are just that fantastic.

 

[soderick]

I understand your feelings. I sometimes feel like I'm pushing my relationship to the brink with everything CF entails. I feel such guilt for being a burden, whether it's to my boyfriend, my parents, or my friends. I have been in only one serious relationship before this one, but that guy just didn't get it. CF was always something outside our relationship, something that wasn't his problem. The man I'm with now is so great. He often copes better than I do and counsels me when I'm feeling down. He is with me every step of the way. The other day, he made dinner, and on the table in front of my plate were all my nightly pills, including the right number of enzymes. Such a small gesture is proof to me that he cares and is willing to go all the way with me. If you, like me, have a committed partner and are letting your guilt get in the way, you need to just try to accept that unconditional love. It might be difficult to believe, but some people are just that fantastic.

 

[soderick]

I understand your feelings. I sometimes feel like I'm pushing my relationship to the brink with everything CF entails. I feel such guilt for being a burden, whether it's to my boyfriend, my parents, or my friends. I have been in only one serious relationship before this one, but that guy just didn't get it. CF was always something outside our relationship, something that wasn't his problem. The man I'm with now is so great. He often copes better than I do and counsels me when I'm feeling down. He is with me every step of the way. The other day, he made dinner, and on the table in front of my plate were all my nightly pills, including the right number of enzymes. Such a small gesture is proof to me that he cares and is willing to go all the way with me. If you, like me, have a committed partner and are letting your guilt get in the way, you need to just try to accept that unconditional love. It might be difficult to believe, but some people are just that fantastic.

 

[Grendel]

Philipcachat30,

Your question seems reasonable, but to be sure that you are coming from a reasonable perspective consider this: From my own experience, and I would think there is a commonality among CFers, I tend toward obsessing about my death and how my illness affects others, particularly my girlfriend/wife. In this quiet obsession, which is about me getting a handle on the impact CF has on my life and on the life of the one I love, I have come to recognize that I can talk about it too much. In doing so I burden the one person I sought not to burden. It is healthy to discuss, but not to beat a dead horse, and certainly not let that dead horse beat you. If you find you might be doing this, take your quiet obsession to a friend, family member, minister, doctor or therapist. Displace all that worry and wonder among many and try not to make one person the gate keeper to you working through this natural process.
Your partner likely wants to be there for you, and you should have the courage to confide in her, but recognize people have limits, at the end of the day people just want to be lifted up and live in hope and joy, and we are likely prone to obsess on issues of illness and death and how these issues play out in our life and the lives of the ones we love.
I would also advise that you consider that some people no matter how reasonable you are in engaging others with your communications and worries about CF, that some just are not strong enough to handle it, and don't want to ever be strong enough to handle it. Some just live in fear and seek to avoid the real issues of life. If your partner is one of these types, you would be served well to just let it go and seek higher ground.
I suppose at the end of it all you just have to ask yourself what is reasonable and what is not, and pursue the former.

Best,
Grendel

 

[Grendel]

Philipcachat30,

Your question seems reasonable, but to be sure that you are coming from a reasonable perspective consider this: From my own experience, and I would think there is a commonality among CFers, I tend toward obsessing about my death and how my illness affects others, particularly my girlfriend/wife. In this quiet obsession, which is about me getting a handle on the impact CF has on my life and on the life of the one I love, I have come to recognize that I can talk about it too much. In doing so I burden the one person I sought not to burden. It is healthy to discuss, but not to beat a dead horse, and certainly not let that dead horse beat you. If you find you might be doing this, take your quiet obsession to a friend, family member, minister, doctor or therapist. Displace all that worry and wonder among many and try not to make one person the gate keeper to you working through this natural process.
Your partner likely wants to be there for you, and you should have the courage to confide in her, but recognize people have limits, at the end of the day people just want to be lifted up and live in hope and joy, and we are likely prone to obsess on issues of illness and death and how these issues play out in our life and the lives of the ones we love.
I would also advise that you consider that some people no matter how reasonable you are in engaging others with your communications and worries about CF, that some just are not strong enough to handle it, and don't want to ever be strong enough to handle it. Some just live in fear and seek to avoid the real issues of life. If your partner is one of these types, you would be served well to just let it go and seek higher ground.
I suppose at the end of it all you just have to ask yourself what is reasonable and what is not, and pursue the former.

Best,
Grendel

 

[Grendel]

Philipcachat30,

Your question seems reasonable, but to be sure that you are coming from a reasonable perspective consider this: From my own experience, and I would think there is a commonality among CFers, I tend toward obsessing about my death and how my illness affects others, particularly my girlfriend/wife. In this quiet obsession, which is about me getting a handle on the impact CF has on my life and on the life of the one I love, I have come to recognize that I can talk about it too much. In doing so I burden the one person I sought not to burden. It is healthy to discuss, but not to beat a dead horse, and certainly not let that dead horse beat you. If you find you might be doing this, take your quiet obsession to a friend, family member, minister, doctor or therapist. Displace all that worry and wonder among many and try not to make one person the gate keeper to you working through this natural process.
Your partner likely wants to be there for you, and you should have the courage to confide in her, but recognize people have limits, at the end of the day people just want to be lifted up and live in hope and joy, and we are likely prone to obsess on issues of illness and death and how these issues play out in our life and the lives of the ones we love.
I would also advise that you consider that some people no matter how reasonable you are in engaging others with your communications and worries about CF, that some just are not strong enough to handle it, and don't want to ever be strong enough to handle it. Some just live in fear and seek to avoid the real issues of life. If your partner is one of these types, you would be served well to just let it go and seek higher ground.
I suppose at the end of it all you just have to ask yourself what is reasonable and what is not, and pursue the former.

Best,
Grendel

 

[Grendel]

Philipcachat30,

Your question seems reasonable, but to be sure that you are coming from a reasonable perspective consider this: From my own experience, and I would think there is a commonality among CFers, I tend toward obsessing about my death and how my illness affects others, particularly my girlfriend/wife. In this quiet obsession, which is about me getting a handle on the impact CF has on my life and on the life of the one I love, I have come to recognize that I can talk about it too much. In doing so I burden the one person I sought not to burden. It is healthy to discuss, but not to beat a dead horse, and certainly not let that dead horse beat you. If you find you might be doing this, take your quiet obsession to a friend, family member, minister, doctor or therapist. Displace all that worry and wonder among many and try not to make one person the gate keeper to you working through this natural process.
Your partner likely wants to be there for you, and you should have the courage to confide in her, but recognize people have limits, at the end of the day people just want to be lifted up and live in hope and joy, and we are likely prone to obsess on issues of illness and death and how these issues play out in our life and the lives of the ones we love.
I would also advise that you consider that some people no matter how reasonable you are in engaging others with your communications and worries about CF, that some just are not strong enough to handle it, and don't want to ever be strong enough to handle it. Some just live in fear and seek to avoid the real issues of life. If your partner is one of these types, you would be served well to just let it go and seek higher ground.
I suppose at the end of it all you just have to ask yourself what is reasonable and what is not, and pursue the former.

Best,
Grendel

 

[Grendel]

Philipcachat30,
<br />
<br />Your question seems reasonable, but to be sure that you are coming from a reasonable perspective consider this: From my own experience, and I would think there is a commonality among CFers, I tend toward obsessing about my death and how my illness affects others, particularly my girlfriend/wife. In this quiet obsession, which is about me getting a handle on the impact CF has on my life and on the life of the one I love, I have come to recognize that I can talk about it too much. In doing so I burden the one person I sought not to burden. It is healthy to discuss, but not to beat a dead horse, and certainly not let that dead horse beat you. If you find you might be doing this, take your quiet obsession to a friend, family member, minister, doctor or therapist. Displace all that worry and wonder among many and try not to make one person the gate keeper to you working through this natural process.
<br />Your partner likely wants to be there for you, and you should have the courage to confide in her, but recognize people have limits, at the end of the day people just want to be lifted up and live in hope and joy, and we are likely prone to obsess on issues of illness and death and how these issues play out in our life and the lives of the ones we love.
<br />I would also advise that you consider that some people no matter how reasonable you are in engaging others with your communications and worries about CF, that some just are not strong enough to handle it, and don't want to ever be strong enough to handle it. Some just live in fear and seek to avoid the real issues of life. If your partner is one of these types, you would be served well to just let it go and seek higher ground.
<br />I suppose at the end of it all you just have to ask yourself what is reasonable and what is not, and pursue the former.
<br />
<br />Best,
<br />Grendel

 

[rml4589]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>philipcachat30</b></i>

It seems as though i am always pushing my relationship to its breaking point, i dont know why i feel like i have to mess it up, but i feel she would be happier with someone else. i see the pain in her eyes anytime im sick, or when we have a talk about death, i can see the tears in her eyes, does anyone know any good excersises to build a stronger relationship?</end quote></div>

I have been there. I was with my ex for about 9 months. Yes we were young, yes we were in love. I think it was harder for me than it was for her because I realized that if we could/did have kids, more than likely they would be growing up without a father/husband around. I told myself I would never do that to a woman i loved because it wasn't right to only have a short amount of time together. then my gf came along and it was very hard at times. I never let her come to the hospital to see me because if something happened to me, I didn't want her last view of me in a hospital with IV's and tubes coming out of everywhere. I wanted her to remember the good times. The best thing you can do is<i><b> talk</b></i>. it will make everything easier. the tears are in her eyes because she loves you and doesn't want anything to happen. the best thing you can do is explain to her that she can't worry about what could/will happen down the line. life is about experiences. have the great experiences while you are still in relatively good health

 

[rml4589]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>philipcachat30</b></i>

It seems as though i am always pushing my relationship to its breaking point, i dont know why i feel like i have to mess it up, but i feel she would be happier with someone else. i see the pain in her eyes anytime im sick, or when we have a talk about death, i can see the tears in her eyes, does anyone know any good excersises to build a stronger relationship?</end quote></div>

I have been there. I was with my ex for about 9 months. Yes we were young, yes we were in love. I think it was harder for me than it was for her because I realized that if we could/did have kids, more than likely they would be growing up without a father/husband around. I told myself I would never do that to a woman i loved because it wasn't right to only have a short amount of time together. then my gf came along and it was very hard at times. I never let her come to the hospital to see me because if something happened to me, I didn't want her last view of me in a hospital with IV's and tubes coming out of everywhere. I wanted her to remember the good times. The best thing you can do is<i><b> talk</b></i>. it will make everything easier. the tears are in her eyes because she loves you and doesn't want anything to happen. the best thing you can do is explain to her that she can't worry about what could/will happen down the line. life is about experiences. have the great experiences while you are still in relatively good health

 

[rml4589]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>philipcachat30</b></i>

It seems as though i am always pushing my relationship to its breaking point, i dont know why i feel like i have to mess it up, but i feel she would be happier with someone else. i see the pain in her eyes anytime im sick, or when we have a talk about death, i can see the tears in her eyes, does anyone know any good excersises to build a stronger relationship?</end quote></div>

I have been there. I was with my ex for about 9 months. Yes we were young, yes we were in love. I think it was harder for me than it was for her because I realized that if we could/did have kids, more than likely they would be growing up without a father/husband around. I told myself I would never do that to a woman i loved because it wasn't right to only have a short amount of time together. then my gf came along and it was very hard at times. I never let her come to the hospital to see me because if something happened to me, I didn't want her last view of me in a hospital with IV's and tubes coming out of everywhere. I wanted her to remember the good times. The best thing you can do is<i><b> talk</b></i>. it will make everything easier. the tears are in her eyes because she loves you and doesn't want anything to happen. the best thing you can do is explain to her that she can't worry about what could/will happen down the line. life is about experiences. have the great experiences while you are still in relatively good health

 

[rml4589]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>philipcachat30</b></i>

It seems as though i am always pushing my relationship to its breaking point, i dont know why i feel like i have to mess it up, but i feel she would be happier with someone else. i see the pain in her eyes anytime im sick, or when we have a talk about death, i can see the tears in her eyes, does anyone know any good excersises to build a stronger relationship?</end quote>

I have been there. I was with my ex for about 9 months. Yes we were young, yes we were in love. I think it was harder for me than it was for her because I realized that if we could/did have kids, more than likely they would be growing up without a father/husband around. I told myself I would never do that to a woman i loved because it wasn't right to only have a short amount of time together. then my gf came along and it was very hard at times. I never let her come to the hospital to see me because if something happened to me, I didn't want her last view of me in a hospital with IV's and tubes coming out of everywhere. I wanted her to remember the good times. The best thing you can do is<i><b> talk</b></i>. it will make everything easier. the tears are in her eyes because she loves you and doesn't want anything to happen. the best thing you can do is explain to her that she can't worry about what could/will happen down the line. life is about experiences. have the great experiences while you are still in relatively good health

 

[rml4589]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>philipcachat30</b></i>
<br />
<br />It seems as though i am always pushing my relationship to its breaking point, i dont know why i feel like i have to mess it up, but i feel she would be happier with someone else. i see the pain in her eyes anytime im sick, or when we have a talk about death, i can see the tears in her eyes, does anyone know any good excersises to build a stronger relationship?</end quote>
<br />
<br />I have been there. I was with my ex for about 9 months. Yes we were young, yes we were in love. I think it was harder for me than it was for her because I realized that if we could/did have kids, more than likely they would be growing up without a father/husband around. I told myself I would never do that to a woman i loved because it wasn't right to only have a short amount of time together. then my gf came along and it was very hard at times. I never let her come to the hospital to see me because if something happened to me, I didn't want her last view of me in a hospital with IV's and tubes coming out of everywhere. I wanted her to remember the good times. The best thing you can do is<i><b> talk</b></i>. it will make everything easier. the tears are in her eyes because she loves you and doesn't want anything to happen. the best thing you can do is explain to her that she can't worry about what could/will happen down the line. life is about experiences. have the great experiences while you are still in relatively good health