Stats on People with CF and Carriers having Children with CF?

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chantelfox

New member
Hey everyone!! I hope you all are doind great this week, so far...
So, does anyone know what the statistics are on people with CF
having kids with CF Carriers??? Do the chances of having kids with
CF increase???
 
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Emily65Roses

New member
Basically what Allie said. Your carrier partner has one CF gene and one normal gene. Your child will get one from him and can get either one normal one or CF one. You only have two CF genes, so your child WILL get a CF gene from you. Your child will have a 50% chance of being just a carrier, and 50% chance of having CF. There is no way you can have a child with a CF carrier and have a child with no CF genes.
 
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chantelfox

New member
Geeze, that's what I thought. I sure hope my Bf isn't a carrier. We
want kids, but I don't think I could handle one with CF...
 
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chantelfox

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Allie</b></i> Yes, your kid has a
50%-50% shot of having CF, I personally would never do it.</end quote></div><br>
<br>
<br>
So, Allie, what <i>would</i> you do if the person you loved was a
carrier?
 
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Emily65Roses

New member
Allie's husband had CF, and they actually did adopt. Ry didn't even want to risk having a CF carrier child, so they adopted a little girl named Ahava 5 years ago.

Now I'm curious. Why wouldn't your boyfriend adopt?
 
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Emily65Roses

New member
Ah well it's a very private thing what you choose to do in this situation. If he happens to be a carrier, I wouldn't risk it, the odds are against you. But that's something you and the boyfriend will have to talk about.

I know a lot of people are against adoption for some reason or other, and a lot of it is stuff not to worry about. I hope you would at least look into it before saying "nope, won't do it" straight off. That's a self-destructive way to go about having kids. Allie is a WEALTH of adoption information if you're curious about any of it. I wouldn't hold anything against anyone who chose not to, as it's an incredibly personal thing, like I said. But don't just poo-poo adoption before looking at it at least a little bit. It's a very useful option to have open, even if it's not the route you go.
 
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NoExcuses

New member
if your BF doesn't want to adopt, maybe you should reconsider him as a partner. not that people who don't want to adopt are bad. but if adoption is important to you (so you don't have a kid with CF, so you don't put strain on your body by being pregnant), perhaps he's not the one for you.

it's nice to be in love. but one's values in life have to add up with one's partners values or else things will just turn into a mess.
 
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chantelfox

New member
Well, I dunno.. I guess I don't feel like there would be as much of
a connection as an adopted mom. I have an adopted cousin and there
just seemed to be less of  a bond between him and his parents.
I am the only girl in my family so, for me to have a child is a big
deal me and my  mom. And my BF is the only boy out of 7 kids
in his family, so he really wants to have a child of his genes to
attach his family's name to.<br>
<br>
<br>
But really, I don't know what I want. I  just hope he's not a
carrier. That's all. Plus, if you adopt...how can you be sure the
child you adopt doesnt have CF or something else wrong with
him/her?
 
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Emily65Roses

New member
Ah yes. Not that it's something you asked, but the potential (no one jump up my @ss, I said potential) risk to a CFer carrying a baby isn't necessarily worth it either. It has been known to do some irreparable damage to the mother. It's not the best thing in the world for our health.

Funny little random story. I had a hysterectomy when I was 18 (unrelated problems), and Allie and Mike both have told me that they're happy I had it. Not because they like me in pain (I want very much to be able to get pregnant and have a baby), but because they know I'd risk it, if I was able. So it's better for me that I don't have the ability.

If your being pregnant is important enough to your mother to risk your health, then you might want to ask your mother where her priorities lie. As for your boyfriend, again, if your health matters less than "genetics," you need to find out where the priorities of these people that "care" about you really lie.
 
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NoExcuses

New member
you've got to be kidding me. you guys are clearly too young to have kids if those are your priorities.....

who gives a frack what your mom wants. you need to do what's best for your health and the health of your child.

and if genetics is such a priority for your BF, then he clearly doesn't realize what is important in life.

please, please, please hold off on having kids. you guys have a lot of growing up to do.
 
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Allie

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Well, I dunno.. I guess I don't feel like there would be as much of a connection as an adopted mom</end quote></div>

This...is total and complete bull. From the moment I held that child in my arms, I would die or kill for her. I am her mother, I fed her, clothed her, loved her, and she calls me Ima and kisses me goodnight. She knows she is adopted, and I am STILL her mother to her.

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>And my BF is the only boy out of 7 kids in his family, so he really wants to keep his families name and "genetics" alive</end quote></div>

First off, the kid would have his name anyhow. Second off, the other daughters would pass on the genetic code to thier kids, if the genetics are so wonderfully fantastic that they have to be passed on.

You can truly love someone who doesn't share your DNA. You love your bf, right? If people can't get that, they probably shouldn't be parents anyhow.
 
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chantelfox

New member
Well, obviously we aren't going to have kids any time soon. But a
bond with a child is important to me. The parents thing doesn't
matter as much to me. I know my mom would accept my decision to
adopt and I think my BF would too, but my BF has always dreamed of
having his "own" son.
 
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Emily65Roses

New member
The "own" child, I know Allie will jump on that and tell you Ahava is her own. And it's true. I know what you're referring to, DNA genetics all that. I don't necessarily agree, but I won't argue it.

As for the bond, there's no difference there. The ONLY thing you're missing out on is the pregnancy itself. And while I understand the desire to have that (trust me, I very much wish I could have that), it's not essential for a bond with the child.
 
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chantelfox

New member
Yeah, Allie.. you're right that you can love someone without your
genetics...and I could get over the notion that I was never able to
carry my own child, but I think a part of me would never really
feel like he/she was totally mine.
 
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Allie

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>But a bond with a child is important to me. </end quote></div>

You're right, I have absolutely no bond with Ahava. I throw her outside everynight to sleep in the dog kennel, never play with her, don't make her lunch, or love her. She doesn't love me either.

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>my BF has always dreamed of having his "own" son.</end quote></div>

Anyone can throw sperm and eggs together. It takes no talent. It doesn't make that child your own. My mother and father did, and I don't consider them anything but my annoying breeding stock. Hannah is my mother. Michael is my father.

You know what makes a kid your own? Tucking them in at night, teaching them to talk, read, swim, laughing with them, helping them when they are scared, buying school supplies, loving them. That's what makes a kid yours.

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>I think a part of me would never really feel like he/she was totally mine. </end quote></div>

Then, in my opinion, you need to grow up a bit. It takes a lot of unconditional love to raise a child that can be demanding, needy, and difficult. And all kids are those things at some point.
 
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