Stressed out Mom needs advice. : (

JazzysMom

New member
I dont know if my story will help you at all with the present circumstances, but at least you know you arent alone.

I was diagnosed at 7. I grew up not being pushed to do my treatments etc because I was on "borrowed time". I was a wild child LOL! At age 15 I hooked up with an a guy 7 years older. I fell "in love" and we were going to get married. We partied & had a lot of sex. I got extremely sick during this 2 year period.

It tore my parents hearts. Between the worrying about the late nights, my health & just the general stuff it was rough. I remember at one point when my hemoptysis kicked in. It was after a night of partying with this guy. I was hugging our toilet coughing up blood & my Mother said....FINE. Marry the guy. I give you permission then this is all his problem. I felt devistated. That is when it kind of hit me that I was being stupid. It didnt hit me enough to stop seeing him tho.

Now my parents could have gotten him for statutory rape easily, but they were afraid of alienating me. Of course...looking back I wish they would have done so. It wasnt until my Dad had his massive stroke that I realized this had to stop.

I broke up with the guy (tho he "stalked" me still) and was hoping my Dad had enough wits to understand me when I told him about our split up while in the hospital. Dad died a few months later. This guy showed up the morning of his death to pay his respect. I literally attacked the guy.

I was so pissed at him for taking such precious time away from ME and my Dad. I still didnt do my treatments etc until AFTER my daughter was born. I did go to the hospital for admits then came home & continued doing my thing etc over the years.

During the time that I was seeing this guy & destroying my health.....I can say that the more my parents bitched or became strict regarding things. The more I rebelled which is why they eased up. As I said they didnt want to alienate me. BUT all they had to do was throw his a$$ in jail.

I do agree that much of what she is doing is to hurt YOU. If you can control your reactions, emotions etc then she is more likely to come around. Just present it that its HERSELF she is hurting. Say no more, no less!

Otherwise just pray. If you arent a one who prays then hope for the best.

Sadly it just comes down to that. If there is no recourse or legal action to force her to into help then I dont know what else to tell you except they call it "Tough Love" for a reason.

HUGS to you and we are here to listen!
 

JazzysMom

New member
I dont know if my story will help you at all with the present circumstances, but at least you know you arent alone.

I was diagnosed at 7. I grew up not being pushed to do my treatments etc because I was on "borrowed time". I was a wild child LOL! At age 15 I hooked up with an a guy 7 years older. I fell "in love" and we were going to get married. We partied & had a lot of sex. I got extremely sick during this 2 year period.

It tore my parents hearts. Between the worrying about the late nights, my health & just the general stuff it was rough. I remember at one point when my hemoptysis kicked in. It was after a night of partying with this guy. I was hugging our toilet coughing up blood & my Mother said....FINE. Marry the guy. I give you permission then this is all his problem. I felt devistated. That is when it kind of hit me that I was being stupid. It didnt hit me enough to stop seeing him tho.

Now my parents could have gotten him for statutory rape easily, but they were afraid of alienating me. Of course...looking back I wish they would have done so. It wasnt until my Dad had his massive stroke that I realized this had to stop.

I broke up with the guy (tho he "stalked" me still) and was hoping my Dad had enough wits to understand me when I told him about our split up while in the hospital. Dad died a few months later. This guy showed up the morning of his death to pay his respect. I literally attacked the guy.

I was so pissed at him for taking such precious time away from ME and my Dad. I still didnt do my treatments etc until AFTER my daughter was born. I did go to the hospital for admits then came home & continued doing my thing etc over the years.

During the time that I was seeing this guy & destroying my health.....I can say that the more my parents bitched or became strict regarding things. The more I rebelled which is why they eased up. As I said they didnt want to alienate me. BUT all they had to do was throw his a$$ in jail.

I do agree that much of what she is doing is to hurt YOU. If you can control your reactions, emotions etc then she is more likely to come around. Just present it that its HERSELF she is hurting. Say no more, no less!

Otherwise just pray. If you arent a one who prays then hope for the best.

Sadly it just comes down to that. If there is no recourse or legal action to force her to into help then I dont know what else to tell you except they call it "Tough Love" for a reason.

HUGS to you and we are here to listen!
 

JazzysMom

New member
I dont know if my story will help you at all with the present circumstances, but at least you know you arent alone.

I was diagnosed at 7. I grew up not being pushed to do my treatments etc because I was on "borrowed time". I was a wild child LOL! At age 15 I hooked up with an a guy 7 years older. I fell "in love" and we were going to get married. We partied & had a lot of sex. I got extremely sick during this 2 year period.

It tore my parents hearts. Between the worrying about the late nights, my health & just the general stuff it was rough. I remember at one point when my hemoptysis kicked in. It was after a night of partying with this guy. I was hugging our toilet coughing up blood & my Mother said....FINE. Marry the guy. I give you permission then this is all his problem. I felt devistated. That is when it kind of hit me that I was being stupid. It didnt hit me enough to stop seeing him tho.

Now my parents could have gotten him for statutory rape easily, but they were afraid of alienating me. Of course...looking back I wish they would have done so. It wasnt until my Dad had his massive stroke that I realized this had to stop.

I broke up with the guy (tho he "stalked" me still) and was hoping my Dad had enough wits to understand me when I told him about our split up while in the hospital. Dad died a few months later. This guy showed up the morning of his death to pay his respect. I literally attacked the guy.

I was so pissed at him for taking such precious time away from ME and my Dad. I still didnt do my treatments etc until AFTER my daughter was born. I did go to the hospital for admits then came home & continued doing my thing etc over the years.

During the time that I was seeing this guy & destroying my health.....I can say that the more my parents bitched or became strict regarding things. The more I rebelled which is why they eased up. As I said they didnt want to alienate me. BUT all they had to do was throw his a$$ in jail.

I do agree that much of what she is doing is to hurt YOU. If you can control your reactions, emotions etc then she is more likely to come around. Just present it that its HERSELF she is hurting. Say no more, no less!

Otherwise just pray. If you arent a one who prays then hope for the best.

Sadly it just comes down to that. If there is no recourse or legal action to force her to into help then I dont know what else to tell you except they call it "Tough Love" for a reason.

HUGS to you and we are here to listen!
 

JazzysMom

New member
I dont know if my story will help you at all with the present circumstances, but at least you know you arent alone.

I was diagnosed at 7. I grew up not being pushed to do my treatments etc because I was on "borrowed time". I was a wild child LOL! At age 15 I hooked up with an a guy 7 years older. I fell "in love" and we were going to get married. We partied & had a lot of sex. I got extremely sick during this 2 year period.

It tore my parents hearts. Between the worrying about the late nights, my health & just the general stuff it was rough. I remember at one point when my hemoptysis kicked in. It was after a night of partying with this guy. I was hugging our toilet coughing up blood & my Mother said....FINE. Marry the guy. I give you permission then this is all his problem. I felt devistated. That is when it kind of hit me that I was being stupid. It didnt hit me enough to stop seeing him tho.

Now my parents could have gotten him for statutory rape easily, but they were afraid of alienating me. Of course...looking back I wish they would have done so. It wasnt until my Dad had his massive stroke that I realized this had to stop.

I broke up with the guy (tho he "stalked" me still) and was hoping my Dad had enough wits to understand me when I told him about our split up while in the hospital. Dad died a few months later. This guy showed up the morning of his death to pay his respect. I literally attacked the guy.

I was so pissed at him for taking such precious time away from ME and my Dad. I still didnt do my treatments etc until AFTER my daughter was born. I did go to the hospital for admits then came home & continued doing my thing etc over the years.

During the time that I was seeing this guy & destroying my health.....I can say that the more my parents bitched or became strict regarding things. The more I rebelled which is why they eased up. As I said they didnt want to alienate me. BUT all they had to do was throw his a$$ in jail.

I do agree that much of what she is doing is to hurt YOU. If you can control your reactions, emotions etc then she is more likely to come around. Just present it that its HERSELF she is hurting. Say no more, no less!

Otherwise just pray. If you arent a one who prays then hope for the best.

Sadly it just comes down to that. If there is no recourse or legal action to force her to into help then I dont know what else to tell you except they call it "Tough Love" for a reason.

HUGS to you and we are here to listen!
 

JazzysMom

New member
I dont know if my story will help you at all with the present circumstances, but at least you know you arent alone.
<br />
<br />I was diagnosed at 7. I grew up not being pushed to do my treatments etc because I was on "borrowed time". I was a wild child LOL! At age 15 I hooked up with an a guy 7 years older. I fell "in love" and we were going to get married. We partied & had a lot of sex. I got extremely sick during this 2 year period.
<br />
<br />It tore my parents hearts. Between the worrying about the late nights, my health & just the general stuff it was rough. I remember at one point when my hemoptysis kicked in. It was after a night of partying with this guy. I was hugging our toilet coughing up blood & my Mother said....FINE. Marry the guy. I give you permission then this is all his problem. I felt devistated. That is when it kind of hit me that I was being stupid. It didnt hit me enough to stop seeing him tho.
<br />
<br />Now my parents could have gotten him for statutory rape easily, but they were afraid of alienating me. Of course...looking back I wish they would have done so. It wasnt until my Dad had his massive stroke that I realized this had to stop.
<br />
<br />I broke up with the guy (tho he "stalked" me still) and was hoping my Dad had enough wits to understand me when I told him about our split up while in the hospital. Dad died a few months later. This guy showed up the morning of his death to pay his respect. I literally attacked the guy.
<br />
<br />I was so pissed at him for taking such precious time away from ME and my Dad. I still didnt do my treatments etc until AFTER my daughter was born. I did go to the hospital for admits then came home & continued doing my thing etc over the years.
<br />
<br />During the time that I was seeing this guy & destroying my health.....I can say that the more my parents bitched or became strict regarding things. The more I rebelled which is why they eased up. As I said they didnt want to alienate me. BUT all they had to do was throw his a$$ in jail.
<br />
<br />I do agree that much of what she is doing is to hurt YOU. If you can control your reactions, emotions etc then she is more likely to come around. Just present it that its HERSELF she is hurting. Say no more, no less!
<br />
<br />Otherwise just pray. If you arent a one who prays then hope for the best.
<br />
<br />Sadly it just comes down to that. If there is no recourse or legal action to force her to into help then I dont know what else to tell you except they call it "Tough Love" for a reason.
<br />
<br />HUGS to you and we are here to listen!
<br />
 

SnickerJunky

New member
Thanks so much for sharing that with me. That had to be so hard on you to lose your dad in the middle of it all. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0"> My husband tells me all the time that she says and does things just for the fight, because she doesn't do this or act like this with anyone else. I have learned to bite my tongue and not give her the reactions she's looking for, and BOY does that piss her off! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0">

We have flat out asked her if she just wants to die, and she says no, but still does nothing to help herself LIVE. I"m really afraid that if it comes down to a transplant, she'll be denied for her irresponsible past. They won't grant one to someone they don't think will be serious about trying to keep it. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0"> At this point, tho, I'm really not 100% sure that she would even agree to be put on the list. It's not my choice anymore, because she's over 18. All I can do is hope and pray, and pray that if they do, she will snap out of this senseless fog she's in.
 

SnickerJunky

New member
Thanks so much for sharing that with me. That had to be so hard on you to lose your dad in the middle of it all. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0"> My husband tells me all the time that she says and does things just for the fight, because she doesn't do this or act like this with anyone else. I have learned to bite my tongue and not give her the reactions she's looking for, and BOY does that piss her off! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0">

We have flat out asked her if she just wants to die, and she says no, but still does nothing to help herself LIVE. I"m really afraid that if it comes down to a transplant, she'll be denied for her irresponsible past. They won't grant one to someone they don't think will be serious about trying to keep it. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0"> At this point, tho, I'm really not 100% sure that she would even agree to be put on the list. It's not my choice anymore, because she's over 18. All I can do is hope and pray, and pray that if they do, she will snap out of this senseless fog she's in.
 

SnickerJunky

New member
Thanks so much for sharing that with me. That had to be so hard on you to lose your dad in the middle of it all. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0"> My husband tells me all the time that she says and does things just for the fight, because she doesn't do this or act like this with anyone else. I have learned to bite my tongue and not give her the reactions she's looking for, and BOY does that piss her off! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0">

We have flat out asked her if she just wants to die, and she says no, but still does nothing to help herself LIVE. I"m really afraid that if it comes down to a transplant, she'll be denied for her irresponsible past. They won't grant one to someone they don't think will be serious about trying to keep it. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0"> At this point, tho, I'm really not 100% sure that she would even agree to be put on the list. It's not my choice anymore, because she's over 18. All I can do is hope and pray, and pray that if they do, she will snap out of this senseless fog she's in.
 

SnickerJunky

New member
Thanks so much for sharing that with me. That had to be so hard on you to lose your dad in the middle of it all. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0"> My husband tells me all the time that she says and does things just for the fight, because she doesn't do this or act like this with anyone else. I have learned to bite my tongue and not give her the reactions she's looking for, and BOY does that piss her off! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0">

We have flat out asked her if she just wants to die, and she says no, but still does nothing to help herself LIVE. I"m really afraid that if it comes down to a transplant, she'll be denied for her irresponsible past. They won't grant one to someone they don't think will be serious about trying to keep it. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0"> At this point, tho, I'm really not 100% sure that she would even agree to be put on the list. It's not my choice anymore, because she's over 18. All I can do is hope and pray, and pray that if they do, she will snap out of this senseless fog she's in.
 

SnickerJunky

New member
Thanks so much for sharing that with me. That had to be so hard on you to lose your dad in the middle of it all. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0"> My husband tells me all the time that she says and does things just for the fight, because she doesn't do this or act like this with anyone else. I have learned to bite my tongue and not give her the reactions she's looking for, and BOY does that piss her off! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0">
<br />
<br />We have flat out asked her if she just wants to die, and she says no, but still does nothing to help herself LIVE. I"m really afraid that if it comes down to a transplant, she'll be denied for her irresponsible past. They won't grant one to someone they don't think will be serious about trying to keep it. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0"> At this point, tho, I'm really not 100% sure that she would even agree to be put on the list. It's not my choice anymore, because she's over 18. All I can do is hope and pray, and pray that if they do, she will snap out of this senseless fog she's in.
 

LisaGreene

New member
You have been through so very much! And, but for the grace of God, any of us will be there, too. In fact, your story is not uncommon, unfortunately. This is a very "normal" thing that happens when families have a kid with special needs of any kind. So please don't feel like you are alone or that it's "just you."

The problem is how we, as parents, normally and commonly react when our kids have a serious medical condition. There are things we have to do, when they are younger, that seem counter-intuitive. Like sharing control for one. But the way we do this is key.

Please try to join me in a class I am teaching starting Feb 1 which will address these issues and give you some ideas about what to do. It is too complex to reply in an email. This class includes a copy of the book "Parenting Children with Health Issues" which will help alot. And, the website has lots of free stuff including a free audio that you really should listen to.

Here's the link for the class: <a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.happyheartfamilies.citymax.com/catalog/item/6705091/6585301.htm
">http://www.happyheartfamilies....m/6705091/6585301.htm
</a>
Know that my heart goes out to you and hang in there.
Lisa G.
 

LisaGreene

New member
You have been through so very much! And, but for the grace of God, any of us will be there, too. In fact, your story is not uncommon, unfortunately. This is a very "normal" thing that happens when families have a kid with special needs of any kind. So please don't feel like you are alone or that it's "just you."

The problem is how we, as parents, normally and commonly react when our kids have a serious medical condition. There are things we have to do, when they are younger, that seem counter-intuitive. Like sharing control for one. But the way we do this is key.

Please try to join me in a class I am teaching starting Feb 1 which will address these issues and give you some ideas about what to do. It is too complex to reply in an email. This class includes a copy of the book "Parenting Children with Health Issues" which will help alot. And, the website has lots of free stuff including a free audio that you really should listen to.

Here's the link for the class: <a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.happyheartfamilies.citymax.com/catalog/item/6705091/6585301.htm
">http://www.happyheartfamilies....m/6705091/6585301.htm
</a>
Know that my heart goes out to you and hang in there.
Lisa G.
 

LisaGreene

New member
You have been through so very much! And, but for the grace of God, any of us will be there, too. In fact, your story is not uncommon, unfortunately. This is a very "normal" thing that happens when families have a kid with special needs of any kind. So please don't feel like you are alone or that it's "just you."

The problem is how we, as parents, normally and commonly react when our kids have a serious medical condition. There are things we have to do, when they are younger, that seem counter-intuitive. Like sharing control for one. But the way we do this is key.

Please try to join me in a class I am teaching starting Feb 1 which will address these issues and give you some ideas about what to do. It is too complex to reply in an email. This class includes a copy of the book "Parenting Children with Health Issues" which will help alot. And, the website has lots of free stuff including a free audio that you really should listen to.

Here's the link for the class: <a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.happyheartfamilies.citymax.com/catalog/item/6705091/6585301.htm
">http://www.happyheartfamilies....m/6705091/6585301.htm
</a>
Know that my heart goes out to you and hang in there.
Lisa G.
 

LisaGreene

New member
You have been through so very much! And, but for the grace of God, any of us will be there, too. In fact, your story is not uncommon, unfortunately. This is a very "normal" thing that happens when families have a kid with special needs of any kind. So please don't feel like you are alone or that it's "just you."

The problem is how we, as parents, normally and commonly react when our kids have a serious medical condition. There are things we have to do, when they are younger, that seem counter-intuitive. Like sharing control for one. But the way we do this is key.

Please try to join me in a class I am teaching starting Feb 1 which will address these issues and give you some ideas about what to do. It is too complex to reply in an email. This class includes a copy of the book "Parenting Children with Health Issues" which will help alot. And, the website has lots of free stuff including a free audio that you really should listen to.

Here's the link for the class: <a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.happyheartfamilies.citymax.com/catalog/item/6705091/6585301.htm
">http://www.happyheartfamilies....m/6705091/6585301.htm
</a>
Know that my heart goes out to you and hang in there.
Lisa G.
 

LisaGreene

New member
You have been through so very much! And, but for the grace of God, any of us will be there, too. In fact, your story is not uncommon, unfortunately. This is a very "normal" thing that happens when families have a kid with special needs of any kind. So please don't feel like you are alone or that it's "just you."
<br />
<br />The problem is how we, as parents, normally and commonly react when our kids have a serious medical condition. There are things we have to do, when they are younger, that seem counter-intuitive. Like sharing control for one. But the way we do this is key.
<br />
<br />Please try to join me in a class I am teaching starting Feb 1 which will address these issues and give you some ideas about what to do. It is too complex to reply in an email. This class includes a copy of the book "Parenting Children with Health Issues" which will help alot. And, the website has lots of free stuff including a free audio that you really should listen to.
<br />
<br />Here's the link for the class: <a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.happyheartfamilies.citymax.com/catalog/item/6705091/6585301.htm
">http://www.happyheartfamilies....m/6705091/6585301.htm
</a><br />
<br />Know that my heart goes out to you and hang in there.
<br />Lisa G.
<br />
<br />
 

MicheleGazelle

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>LisaGreene</b></i>
Please try to join me in a class I am teaching starting Feb 1 which will address these issues and give you some ideas about what to do. It is too complex to reply in an email. This class includes a copy of the book "Parenting Children with Health Issues" which will help alot. And, the website has lots of free stuff including a free audio that you really should listen to.
</end quote></div>
Just an FYI:
If you can't join her in a class, you might be interested in her book: <a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.ParentingChildrenWithHealthIssues.com ">www.ParentingChildrenWithHealthIssues.com </a>
I haven't read it myself but I have heard good reviews from others.

I wish I had more advice but I haven't had to deal with anything like this.

Good luck.
 

MicheleGazelle

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>LisaGreene</b></i>
Please try to join me in a class I am teaching starting Feb 1 which will address these issues and give you some ideas about what to do. It is too complex to reply in an email. This class includes a copy of the book "Parenting Children with Health Issues" which will help alot. And, the website has lots of free stuff including a free audio that you really should listen to.
</end quote></div>
Just an FYI:
If you can't join her in a class, you might be interested in her book: <a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.ParentingChildrenWithHealthIssues.com ">www.ParentingChildrenWithHealthIssues.com </a>
I haven't read it myself but I have heard good reviews from others.

I wish I had more advice but I haven't had to deal with anything like this.

Good luck.
 

MicheleGazelle

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>LisaGreene</b></i>
Please try to join me in a class I am teaching starting Feb 1 which will address these issues and give you some ideas about what to do. It is too complex to reply in an email. This class includes a copy of the book "Parenting Children with Health Issues" which will help alot. And, the website has lots of free stuff including a free audio that you really should listen to.
</end quote></div>
Just an FYI:
If you can't join her in a class, you might be interested in her book: <a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.ParentingChildrenWithHealthIssues.com ">www.ParentingChildrenWithHealthIssues.com </a>
I haven't read it myself but I have heard good reviews from others.

I wish I had more advice but I haven't had to deal with anything like this.

Good luck.
 

MicheleGazelle

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>LisaGreene</b></i>
Please try to join me in a class I am teaching starting Feb 1 which will address these issues and give you some ideas about what to do. It is too complex to reply in an email. This class includes a copy of the book "Parenting Children with Health Issues" which will help alot. And, the website has lots of free stuff including a free audio that you really should listen to.
</end quote>
Just an FYI:
If you can't join her in a class, you might be interested in her book: <a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.ParentingChildrenWithHealthIssues.com ">www.ParentingChildrenWithHealthIssues.com </a>
I haven't read it myself but I have heard good reviews from others.

I wish I had more advice but I haven't had to deal with anything like this.

Good luck.
 

MicheleGazelle

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>LisaGreene</b></i>
<br />Please try to join me in a class I am teaching starting Feb 1 which will address these issues and give you some ideas about what to do. It is too complex to reply in an email. This class includes a copy of the book "Parenting Children with Health Issues" which will help alot. And, the website has lots of free stuff including a free audio that you really should listen to.
<br /></end quote>
<br />Just an FYI:
<br />If you can't join her in a class, you might be interested in her book: <a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.ParentingChildrenWithHealthIssues.com ">www.ParentingChildrenWithHealthIssues.com </a>
<br />I haven't read it myself but I have heard good reviews from others.
<br />
<br />I wish I had more advice but I haven't had to deal with anything like this.
<br />
<br />Good luck.
 
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