Terminating pregnancy?

C

CFHockeyMom

New member
I agree that no one can predict the future and trying to make a decision on "maybe" is pointless. If you knew that your CFer would be one of the lucky ones then this decision would be easy. I think what you have to ask yourself is if you can handle the worst case scenario. Because the worst case scenario (or even a not so good scenario) is very possible with CF.

Ask yourself if you can sit at your child's hospital bedside for hours on end without sleep.

Ask yourself if you can sit up nights with worry because today you found out your child cultured B. Cepacia.

Ask yourself if you can hold/pin your child down to a bed while they are screaming for the nurses/Dr.'s to stop because you know it's for their own good.

Ask yourself if you can handle night time feeds through a tube.

Ask yourself if your marriage can handle CF.

Ask yourself if you can handle CF financially (Dr.'s, meds, child care, time off of work, etc.)

Ask yourself if you can fight/argue with your child about doing the treatments.

These are not extremes. These are typical issues with most CF'ers.

This is about being honest with yourself. Many of us didn't get a choice. Our children were born with CF and we've learned to be strong out of necessity. Sean is a wonderful kid and I cherrish every day with him. We go through periods of time where CF is just part of our normal life (here's a link to a thread about the average day in the life of CFers, <a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://forums.cysticfibrosis.com/messageview.cfm?catid=6&threadid=30229&enterthread=y">Daily routine</a>) and then BAM! something shocks us back to reality.

Again no answer is wrong here just be honest with yourself.
 
C

CFHockeyMom

New member
I agree that no one can predict the future and trying to make a decision on "maybe" is pointless. If you knew that your CFer would be one of the lucky ones then this decision would be easy. I think what you have to ask yourself is if you can handle the worst case scenario. Because the worst case scenario (or even a not so good scenario) is very possible with CF.

Ask yourself if you can sit at your child's hospital bedside for hours on end without sleep.

Ask yourself if you can sit up nights with worry because today you found out your child cultured B. Cepacia.

Ask yourself if you can hold/pin your child down to a bed while they are screaming for the nurses/Dr.'s to stop because you know it's for their own good.

Ask yourself if you can handle night time feeds through a tube.

Ask yourself if your marriage can handle CF.

Ask yourself if you can handle CF financially (Dr.'s, meds, child care, time off of work, etc.)

Ask yourself if you can fight/argue with your child about doing the treatments.

These are not extremes. These are typical issues with most CF'ers.

This is about being honest with yourself. Many of us didn't get a choice. Our children were born with CF and we've learned to be strong out of necessity. Sean is a wonderful kid and I cherrish every day with him. We go through periods of time where CF is just part of our normal life (here's a link to a thread about the average day in the life of CFers, <a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://forums.cysticfibrosis.com/messageview.cfm?catid=6&threadid=30229&enterthread=y">Daily routine</a>) and then BAM! something shocks us back to reality.

Again no answer is wrong here just be honest with yourself.
 
C

CFHockeyMom

New member
I agree that no one can predict the future and trying to make a decision on "maybe" is pointless. If you knew that your CFer would be one of the lucky ones then this decision would be easy. I think what you have to ask yourself is if you can handle the worst case scenario. Because the worst case scenario (or even a not so good scenario) is very possible with CF.

Ask yourself if you can sit at your child's hospital bedside for hours on end without sleep.

Ask yourself if you can sit up nights with worry because today you found out your child cultured B. Cepacia.

Ask yourself if you can hold/pin your child down to a bed while they are screaming for the nurses/Dr.'s to stop because you know it's for their own good.

Ask yourself if you can handle night time feeds through a tube.

Ask yourself if your marriage can handle CF.

Ask yourself if you can handle CF financially (Dr.'s, meds, child care, time off of work, etc.)

Ask yourself if you can fight/argue with your child about doing the treatments.

These are not extremes. These are typical issues with most CF'ers.

This is about being honest with yourself. Many of us didn't get a choice. Our children were born with CF and we've learned to be strong out of necessity. Sean is a wonderful kid and I cherrish every day with him. We go through periods of time where CF is just part of our normal life (here's a link to a thread about the average day in the life of CFers, <a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://forums.cysticfibrosis.com/messageview.cfm?catid=6&threadid=30229&enterthread=y">Daily routine</a>) and then BAM! something shocks us back to reality.

Again no answer is wrong here just be honest with yourself.
 
C

CFHockeyMom

New member
I agree that no one can predict the future and trying to make a decision on "maybe" is pointless. If you knew that your CFer would be one of the lucky ones then this decision would be easy. I think what you have to ask yourself is if you can handle the worst case scenario. Because the worst case scenario (or even a not so good scenario) is very possible with CF.

Ask yourself if you can sit at your child's hospital bedside for hours on end without sleep.

Ask yourself if you can sit up nights with worry because today you found out your child cultured B. Cepacia.

Ask yourself if you can hold/pin your child down to a bed while they are screaming for the nurses/Dr.'s to stop because you know it's for their own good.

Ask yourself if you can handle night time feeds through a tube.

Ask yourself if your marriage can handle CF.

Ask yourself if you can handle CF financially (Dr.'s, meds, child care, time off of work, etc.)

Ask yourself if you can fight/argue with your child about doing the treatments.

These are not extremes. These are typical issues with most CF'ers.

This is about being honest with yourself. Many of us didn't get a choice. Our children were born with CF and we've learned to be strong out of necessity. Sean is a wonderful kid and I cherrish every day with him. We go through periods of time where CF is just part of our normal life (here's a link to a thread about the average day in the life of CFers, <a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://forums.cysticfibrosis.com/messageview.cfm?catid=6&threadid=30229&enterthread=y">Daily routine</a>) and then BAM! something shocks us back to reality.

Again no answer is wrong here just be honest with yourself.
 
C

CFHockeyMom

New member
I agree that no one can predict the future and trying to make a decision on "maybe" is pointless. If you knew that your CFer would be one of the lucky ones then this decision would be easy. I think what you have to ask yourself is if you can handle the worst case scenario. Because the worst case scenario (or even a not so good scenario) is very possible with CF.
<br />
<br />Ask yourself if you can sit at your child's hospital bedside for hours on end without sleep.
<br />
<br />Ask yourself if you can sit up nights with worry because today you found out your child cultured B. Cepacia.
<br />
<br />Ask yourself if you can hold/pin your child down to a bed while they are screaming for the nurses/Dr.'s to stop because you know it's for their own good.
<br />
<br />Ask yourself if you can handle night time feeds through a tube.
<br />
<br />Ask yourself if your marriage can handle CF.
<br />
<br />Ask yourself if you can handle CF financially (Dr.'s, meds, child care, time off of work, etc.)
<br />
<br />Ask yourself if you can fight/argue with your child about doing the treatments.
<br />
<br />These are not extremes. These are typical issues with most CF'ers.
<br />
<br />This is about being honest with yourself. Many of us didn't get a choice. Our children were born with CF and we've learned to be strong out of necessity. Sean is a wonderful kid and I cherrish every day with him. We go through periods of time where CF is just part of our normal life (here's a link to a thread about the average day in the life of CFers, <a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://forums.cysticfibrosis.com/messageview.cfm?catid=6&threadid=30229&enterthread=y">Daily routine</a>) and then BAM! something shocks us back to reality.
<br />
<br />Again no answer is wrong here just be honest with yourself.
 
P

Peanut2008

New member
Hello Alyssa,
I am not offended, but I did see a lot of children and you adults suffering, there was little boy named <b>Nathan: sweetest little boy with cystic fibrosis</b> that I cried for, he is a beautiful little boy and the video I saw was of him smiling and also crying and in the hospital. Then i saw the other little boy that the doctors could nt find the veins anymore so they were looking in his chest to place an IV...The reason why I say that I saw kids suffering is because kids as well as myself dont like needles so when I came across soem videos of children in hospitals i know they were not happy there ... I also saw the videos of the children that all look amazing but are no longer in this world...I also saw the young girl that was coughing a whole lot and couldnt even talk....I only looked up Cystic Fibrosis and believe me i must have looked at all the videos even the one about the French singer who was young and good looking and was only 22 that passed away not to long ago....I am not saying that all children suffer all of the time but the time that they suffer for and the way they suffer seems to be quite painful...I am sorry if I offended you, I am not here to offend anyone I only wanted to let her know my situation because the reality is that although these children may have good days they also have very very very bad days....Again I am sorry if I offended you because of my post but i was trying to help...I am sure she has already gone to YouTube and her decision will be based on her heart.....Pls dont be upset with me because I am no one to obviously tell you or anyone how they should feel I can only spk of my own experience and where I saw the images that changed and impacted my life and desicion.

Oh and I didnt only see the videos I also spk to young children in a site called Heallingwell.com where I also came across a post from a young lady who was struggeling with how the disease had affected her and her family.

Peanut2008
 
P

Peanut2008

New member
Hello Alyssa,
I am not offended, but I did see a lot of children and you adults suffering, there was little boy named <b>Nathan: sweetest little boy with cystic fibrosis</b> that I cried for, he is a beautiful little boy and the video I saw was of him smiling and also crying and in the hospital. Then i saw the other little boy that the doctors could nt find the veins anymore so they were looking in his chest to place an IV...The reason why I say that I saw kids suffering is because kids as well as myself dont like needles so when I came across soem videos of children in hospitals i know they were not happy there ... I also saw the videos of the children that all look amazing but are no longer in this world...I also saw the young girl that was coughing a whole lot and couldnt even talk....I only looked up Cystic Fibrosis and believe me i must have looked at all the videos even the one about the French singer who was young and good looking and was only 22 that passed away not to long ago....I am not saying that all children suffer all of the time but the time that they suffer for and the way they suffer seems to be quite painful...I am sorry if I offended you, I am not here to offend anyone I only wanted to let her know my situation because the reality is that although these children may have good days they also have very very very bad days....Again I am sorry if I offended you because of my post but i was trying to help...I am sure she has already gone to YouTube and her decision will be based on her heart.....Pls dont be upset with me because I am no one to obviously tell you or anyone how they should feel I can only spk of my own experience and where I saw the images that changed and impacted my life and desicion.

Oh and I didnt only see the videos I also spk to young children in a site called Heallingwell.com where I also came across a post from a young lady who was struggeling with how the disease had affected her and her family.

Peanut2008
 
P

Peanut2008

New member
Hello Alyssa,
I am not offended, but I did see a lot of children and you adults suffering, there was little boy named <b>Nathan: sweetest little boy with cystic fibrosis</b> that I cried for, he is a beautiful little boy and the video I saw was of him smiling and also crying and in the hospital. Then i saw the other little boy that the doctors could nt find the veins anymore so they were looking in his chest to place an IV...The reason why I say that I saw kids suffering is because kids as well as myself dont like needles so when I came across soem videos of children in hospitals i know they were not happy there ... I also saw the videos of the children that all look amazing but are no longer in this world...I also saw the young girl that was coughing a whole lot and couldnt even talk....I only looked up Cystic Fibrosis and believe me i must have looked at all the videos even the one about the French singer who was young and good looking and was only 22 that passed away not to long ago....I am not saying that all children suffer all of the time but the time that they suffer for and the way they suffer seems to be quite painful...I am sorry if I offended you, I am not here to offend anyone I only wanted to let her know my situation because the reality is that although these children may have good days they also have very very very bad days....Again I am sorry if I offended you because of my post but i was trying to help...I am sure she has already gone to YouTube and her decision will be based on her heart.....Pls dont be upset with me because I am no one to obviously tell you or anyone how they should feel I can only spk of my own experience and where I saw the images that changed and impacted my life and desicion.

Oh and I didnt only see the videos I also spk to young children in a site called Heallingwell.com where I also came across a post from a young lady who was struggeling with how the disease had affected her and her family.

Peanut2008
 
P

Peanut2008

New member
Hello Alyssa,
I am not offended, but I did see a lot of children and you adults suffering, there was little boy named <b>Nathan: sweetest little boy with cystic fibrosis</b> that I cried for, he is a beautiful little boy and the video I saw was of him smiling and also crying and in the hospital. Then i saw the other little boy that the doctors could nt find the veins anymore so they were looking in his chest to place an IV...The reason why I say that I saw kids suffering is because kids as well as myself dont like needles so when I came across soem videos of children in hospitals i know they were not happy there ... I also saw the videos of the children that all look amazing but are no longer in this world...I also saw the young girl that was coughing a whole lot and couldnt even talk....I only looked up Cystic Fibrosis and believe me i must have looked at all the videos even the one about the French singer who was young and good looking and was only 22 that passed away not to long ago....I am not saying that all children suffer all of the time but the time that they suffer for and the way they suffer seems to be quite painful...I am sorry if I offended you, I am not here to offend anyone I only wanted to let her know my situation because the reality is that although these children may have good days they also have very very very bad days....Again I am sorry if I offended you because of my post but i was trying to help...I am sure she has already gone to YouTube and her decision will be based on her heart.....Pls dont be upset with me because I am no one to obviously tell you or anyone how they should feel I can only spk of my own experience and where I saw the images that changed and impacted my life and desicion.

Oh and I didnt only see the videos I also spk to young children in a site called Heallingwell.com where I also came across a post from a young lady who was struggeling with how the disease had affected her and her family.

Peanut2008
 
P

Peanut2008

New member
Hello Alyssa,
<br />I am not offended, but I did see a lot of children and you adults suffering, there was little boy named <b>Nathan: sweetest little boy with cystic fibrosis</b> that I cried for, he is a beautiful little boy and the video I saw was of him smiling and also crying and in the hospital. Then i saw the other little boy that the doctors could nt find the veins anymore so they were looking in his chest to place an IV...The reason why I say that I saw kids suffering is because kids as well as myself dont like needles so when I came across soem videos of children in hospitals i know they were not happy there ... I also saw the videos of the children that all look amazing but are no longer in this world...I also saw the young girl that was coughing a whole lot and couldnt even talk....I only looked up Cystic Fibrosis and believe me i must have looked at all the videos even the one about the French singer who was young and good looking and was only 22 that passed away not to long ago....I am not saying that all children suffer all of the time but the time that they suffer for and the way they suffer seems to be quite painful...I am sorry if I offended you, I am not here to offend anyone I only wanted to let her know my situation because the reality is that although these children may have good days they also have very very very bad days....Again I am sorry if I offended you because of my post but i was trying to help...I am sure she has already gone to YouTube and her decision will be based on her heart.....Pls dont be upset with me because I am no one to obviously tell you or anyone how they should feel I can only spk of my own experience and where I saw the images that changed and impacted my life and desicion.
<br />
<br />Oh and I didnt only see the videos I also spk to young children in a site called Heallingwell.com where I also came across a post from a young lady who was struggeling with how the disease had affected her and her family.
<br />
<br />Peanut2008
 
G

grassisgreener

New member
Hi, just wanted to give you my 2 cents. I am sorry you are in this position, it really isn't fair. My daughter (4.5 years old) wasn't diagnosed with CF until she was a year old, not that it may matter but personally I never would have considered abortion and I obviously didn't have to make that choice. We are sad that she has CF but she is absolutely the light of our lives and she has brought light into the lives of so many other people! She is AMAZING! You can read more about her on her website:
<a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://sydneymyers-ivil.tripod.com/
">http://sydneymyers-ivil.tripod.com/
</a>
If you search around her website you will find various information about her CF. There is a detailed journal of her experiences with CF from her diagnosis thru the present. Like with any child, we have no idea what her future holds. If you were to ask her how she feels about her life so far, she would tell you that <b>life is great</b>.

I can't guarantee that you will have a child as healthy as mine has been so far, I also can't guarantee that you will have a child as cute and amazing as mine <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> but really nothing in life is ever a guarantee, is it?

One last thing to keep in mind (I am sure others have already said it, but I haven't read all of the other posts) is that any child you get pregnant with will have a 25% chance (1 in 4) of having CF. So even if you choose to end this baby's life now, you may find yourself in the same position with your next pregnancy (I am assuming that you will want to get pregnant again).

Hugs to you, your husband and best wishes for that little tiny baby growing inside of you!

Kelli - mom to Sydney 4.5 wcf and Andrew 22 months nocf
 
G

grassisgreener

New member
Hi, just wanted to give you my 2 cents. I am sorry you are in this position, it really isn't fair. My daughter (4.5 years old) wasn't diagnosed with CF until she was a year old, not that it may matter but personally I never would have considered abortion and I obviously didn't have to make that choice. We are sad that she has CF but she is absolutely the light of our lives and she has brought light into the lives of so many other people! She is AMAZING! You can read more about her on her website:
<a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://sydneymyers-ivil.tripod.com/
">http://sydneymyers-ivil.tripod.com/
</a>
If you search around her website you will find various information about her CF. There is a detailed journal of her experiences with CF from her diagnosis thru the present. Like with any child, we have no idea what her future holds. If you were to ask her how she feels about her life so far, she would tell you that <b>life is great</b>.

I can't guarantee that you will have a child as healthy as mine has been so far, I also can't guarantee that you will have a child as cute and amazing as mine <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> but really nothing in life is ever a guarantee, is it?

One last thing to keep in mind (I am sure others have already said it, but I haven't read all of the other posts) is that any child you get pregnant with will have a 25% chance (1 in 4) of having CF. So even if you choose to end this baby's life now, you may find yourself in the same position with your next pregnancy (I am assuming that you will want to get pregnant again).

Hugs to you, your husband and best wishes for that little tiny baby growing inside of you!

Kelli - mom to Sydney 4.5 wcf and Andrew 22 months nocf
 
G

grassisgreener

New member
Hi, just wanted to give you my 2 cents. I am sorry you are in this position, it really isn't fair. My daughter (4.5 years old) wasn't diagnosed with CF until she was a year old, not that it may matter but personally I never would have considered abortion and I obviously didn't have to make that choice. We are sad that she has CF but she is absolutely the light of our lives and she has brought light into the lives of so many other people! She is AMAZING! You can read more about her on her website:
<a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://sydneymyers-ivil.tripod.com/
">http://sydneymyers-ivil.tripod.com/
</a>
If you search around her website you will find various information about her CF. There is a detailed journal of her experiences with CF from her diagnosis thru the present. Like with any child, we have no idea what her future holds. If you were to ask her how she feels about her life so far, she would tell you that <b>life is great</b>.

I can't guarantee that you will have a child as healthy as mine has been so far, I also can't guarantee that you will have a child as cute and amazing as mine <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> but really nothing in life is ever a guarantee, is it?

One last thing to keep in mind (I am sure others have already said it, but I haven't read all of the other posts) is that any child you get pregnant with will have a 25% chance (1 in 4) of having CF. So even if you choose to end this baby's life now, you may find yourself in the same position with your next pregnancy (I am assuming that you will want to get pregnant again).

Hugs to you, your husband and best wishes for that little tiny baby growing inside of you!

Kelli - mom to Sydney 4.5 wcf and Andrew 22 months nocf
 
G

grassisgreener

New member
Hi, just wanted to give you my 2 cents. I am sorry you are in this position, it really isn't fair. My daughter (4.5 years old) wasn't diagnosed with CF until she was a year old, not that it may matter but personally I never would have considered abortion and I obviously didn't have to make that choice. We are sad that she has CF but she is absolutely the light of our lives and she has brought light into the lives of so many other people! She is AMAZING! You can read more about her on her website:
<a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://sydneymyers-ivil.tripod.com/
">http://sydneymyers-ivil.tripod.com/
</a>
If you search around her website you will find various information about her CF. There is a detailed journal of her experiences with CF from her diagnosis thru the present. Like with any child, we have no idea what her future holds. If you were to ask her how she feels about her life so far, she would tell you that <b>life is great</b>.

I can't guarantee that you will have a child as healthy as mine has been so far, I also can't guarantee that you will have a child as cute and amazing as mine <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> but really nothing in life is ever a guarantee, is it?

One last thing to keep in mind (I am sure others have already said it, but I haven't read all of the other posts) is that any child you get pregnant with will have a 25% chance (1 in 4) of having CF. So even if you choose to end this baby's life now, you may find yourself in the same position with your next pregnancy (I am assuming that you will want to get pregnant again).

Hugs to you, your husband and best wishes for that little tiny baby growing inside of you!

Kelli - mom to Sydney 4.5 wcf and Andrew 22 months nocf
 
G

grassisgreener

New member
Hi, just wanted to give you my 2 cents. I am sorry you are in this position, it really isn't fair. My daughter (4.5 years old) wasn't diagnosed with CF until she was a year old, not that it may matter but personally I never would have considered abortion and I obviously didn't have to make that choice. We are sad that she has CF but she is absolutely the light of our lives and she has brought light into the lives of so many other people! She is AMAZING! You can read more about her on her website:
<br /><a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://sydneymyers-ivil.tripod.com/
">http://sydneymyers-ivil.tripod.com/
</a><br />
<br />If you search around her website you will find various information about her CF. There is a detailed journal of her experiences with CF from her diagnosis thru the present. Like with any child, we have no idea what her future holds. If you were to ask her how she feels about her life so far, she would tell you that <b>life is great</b>.
<br />
<br />I can't guarantee that you will have a child as healthy as mine has been so far, I also can't guarantee that you will have a child as cute and amazing as mine <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> but really nothing in life is ever a guarantee, is it?
<br />
<br />One last thing to keep in mind (I am sure others have already said it, but I haven't read all of the other posts) is that any child you get pregnant with will have a 25% chance (1 in 4) of having CF. So even if you choose to end this baby's life now, you may find yourself in the same position with your next pregnancy (I am assuming that you will want to get pregnant again).
<br />
<br />Hugs to you, your husband and best wishes for that little tiny baby growing inside of you!
<br />
<br />Kelli - mom to Sydney 4.5 wcf and Andrew 22 months nocf
 
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