How do you be a partner without morphing into a caregiver or parental type roll?
As a CF patient I know this is a tough question if you have been in a relationship that has suffered from it evolving from loving equals to patient and caregiver.
I am in a curious roll as a CFer, such that my wife has a significant health issue (that doesn't limit her all the time, though is significant and rare -only 900+ cases in the world) and I worry about her often. I find myself wanting to take care of everything for her so that she can rest, relax and take it all in. However, I realize that "taking it all in" includes not resting, not always relaxing and leaving some of "it" out.
She worries about me, but her boundaries have developed to be better than mine. Also, it is disputable but as a male in the relationship I just want to protect her and aid her. But I don't always know how to best do this, and I realize doing nothing is sometimes best, though it doesn't feel quite right or natural to not want to serve and be of service every chance I get.
So how do you partners/spouses of CFers do it. I could use some words of wisdom and a lesson or two from keeping the boundaries of relationship identity healthy.
Thanks.
Grendel
As a CF patient I know this is a tough question if you have been in a relationship that has suffered from it evolving from loving equals to patient and caregiver.
I am in a curious roll as a CFer, such that my wife has a significant health issue (that doesn't limit her all the time, though is significant and rare -only 900+ cases in the world) and I worry about her often. I find myself wanting to take care of everything for her so that she can rest, relax and take it all in. However, I realize that "taking it all in" includes not resting, not always relaxing and leaving some of "it" out.
She worries about me, but her boundaries have developed to be better than mine. Also, it is disputable but as a male in the relationship I just want to protect her and aid her. But I don't always know how to best do this, and I realize doing nothing is sometimes best, though it doesn't feel quite right or natural to not want to serve and be of service every chance I get.
So how do you partners/spouses of CFers do it. I could use some words of wisdom and a lesson or two from keeping the boundaries of relationship identity healthy.
Thanks.
Grendel