Wanting to have a baby

[anonymous]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>and what a better way for your life to live on than through your child.

</end quote></div>



Wow. That's one of the more selfish statements I've ever read. Perhaps I'm interpreting you wrong, but it sounds like that if you are worried you are going to die soon, you should have a child so a part of you will live on.

There is a HUGE difference between "your life [living] on through" an ADULT child who has had the experience of environmental interaction with you and a child who you have as prat of a way to address "your [worry] about dying". Even a child who loses you when they are young when there wasn't a substantial reason to expect that you would die soon is different...

Wow.

 

[anonymous]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>and what a better way for your life to live on than through your child.

</end quote></div>



Wow. That's one of the more selfish statements I've ever read. Perhaps I'm interpreting you wrong, but it sounds like that if you are worried you are going to die soon, you should have a child so a part of you will live on.

There is a HUGE difference between "your life [living] on through" an ADULT child who has had the experience of environmental interaction with you and a child who you have as prat of a way to address "your [worry] about dying". Even a child who loses you when they are young when there wasn't a substantial reason to expect that you would die soon is different...

Wow.

 

[anonymous]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>anonymous</b></i>

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>and what a better way for your life to live on than through your child.



</end quote></div>







Wow. That's one of the more selfish statements I've ever read. Perhaps I'm interpreting you wrong, but it sounds like that if you are worried you are going to die soon, you should have a child so a part of you will live on.



There is a HUGE difference between "your life [living] on through" an ADULT child who has had the experience of environmental interaction with you and a child who you have as prat of a way to address "your [worry] about dying". Even a child who loses you when they are young when there wasn't a substantial reason to expect that you would die soon is different...



Wow.</end quote></div>

You can view life anyway you choose. I say Life is a legacy and we all die one day. If you are able to have children and watch them grow while taking care of yourself with CF then go for it.

Anyone who judges you has their own agenda that is totally not normal

 

[anonymous]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>anonymous</b></i>

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>and what a better way for your life to live on than through your child.



</end quote></div>







Wow. That's one of the more selfish statements I've ever read. Perhaps I'm interpreting you wrong, but it sounds like that if you are worried you are going to die soon, you should have a child so a part of you will live on.



There is a HUGE difference between "your life [living] on through" an ADULT child who has had the experience of environmental interaction with you and a child who you have as prat of a way to address "your [worry] about dying". Even a child who loses you when they are young when there wasn't a substantial reason to expect that you would die soon is different...



Wow.</end quote></div>

You can view life anyway you choose. I say Life is a legacy and we all die one day. If you are able to have children and watch them grow while taking care of yourself with CF then go for it.

Anyone who judges you has their own agenda that is totally not normal

 

[anonymous]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>anonymous</b></i>

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>and what a better way for your life to live on than through your child.



</end quote></div>







Wow. That's one of the more selfish statements I've ever read. Perhaps I'm interpreting you wrong, but it sounds like that if you are worried you are going to die soon, you should have a child so a part of you will live on.



There is a HUGE difference between "your life [living] on through" an ADULT child who has had the experience of environmental interaction with you and a child who you have as prat of a way to address "your [worry] about dying". Even a child who loses you when they are young when there wasn't a substantial reason to expect that you would die soon is different...



Wow.</end quote></div>

You can view life anyway you choose. I say Life is a legacy and we all die one day. If you are able to have children and watch them grow while taking care of yourself with CF then go for it.

Anyone who judges you has their own agenda that is totally not normal

 

[karismom]

WOW

First of all it is not your place to decide whats normal or whats not This forum is here so that we can share experiences w/ others in the same boat. Hey if you think that it is fair to have a child when you have a fatal disease as opposed to MAYBE you'll become ill and die while your child is young from cancer etc. then thats GREAT!!! Color me stupid but I happen to think that it is selfish to knowingly bring a child into the world when you KNOW FOR A FACT 110% that you will be sick and probably die while they are young. My daughter wanted a baby more than ANYTHING and so she had one. And in many ways regrets it and feels guilty for making that decision. She knew in her heart that she would get very sick and needed a transplant but did it anyway, and Mayah has had a very stressful 4 1/2 yrs of life. She does not understand why mommy has to go away all the time and gets VERY angry if you even mention Doctors, etc. she has trouble sleeping when Kari is in the hospital, won't eat and cries alot. Then Kari comes home and they bond once again only to have it happen all over again and I for one think that it is a very traumatic way for a child to live. And after years of that fun and games she will certainly lose her mother for good. So Kari gets to spend alot of her time planning for her death and fretting over whats going to happen to Mayah. Thats the reality plain and simple. I LOVE my granddaughter more than life itself and she is the light of my life I have TWO daughters w/cf my only two, and Mayah is indeed my miracle baby, but it tears me up to see her suffer none the less. But once again this is my familys story and HOPEFULLY not all cf moms will have our experience.

karismom

 

[karismom]

WOW

First of all it is not your place to decide whats normal or whats not This forum is here so that we can share experiences w/ others in the same boat. Hey if you think that it is fair to have a child when you have a fatal disease as opposed to MAYBE you'll become ill and die while your child is young from cancer etc. then thats GREAT!!! Color me stupid but I happen to think that it is selfish to knowingly bring a child into the world when you KNOW FOR A FACT 110% that you will be sick and probably die while they are young. My daughter wanted a baby more than ANYTHING and so she had one. And in many ways regrets it and feels guilty for making that decision. She knew in her heart that she would get very sick and needed a transplant but did it anyway, and Mayah has had a very stressful 4 1/2 yrs of life. She does not understand why mommy has to go away all the time and gets VERY angry if you even mention Doctors, etc. she has trouble sleeping when Kari is in the hospital, won't eat and cries alot. Then Kari comes home and they bond once again only to have it happen all over again and I for one think that it is a very traumatic way for a child to live. And after years of that fun and games she will certainly lose her mother for good. So Kari gets to spend alot of her time planning for her death and fretting over whats going to happen to Mayah. Thats the reality plain and simple. I LOVE my granddaughter more than life itself and she is the light of my life I have TWO daughters w/cf my only two, and Mayah is indeed my miracle baby, but it tears me up to see her suffer none the less. But once again this is my familys story and HOPEFULLY not all cf moms will have our experience.

karismom

 

[karismom]

WOW

First of all it is not your place to decide whats normal or whats not This forum is here so that we can share experiences w/ others in the same boat. Hey if you think that it is fair to have a child when you have a fatal disease as opposed to MAYBE you'll become ill and die while your child is young from cancer etc. then thats GREAT!!! Color me stupid but I happen to think that it is selfish to knowingly bring a child into the world when you KNOW FOR A FACT 110% that you will be sick and probably die while they are young. My daughter wanted a baby more than ANYTHING and so she had one. And in many ways regrets it and feels guilty for making that decision. She knew in her heart that she would get very sick and needed a transplant but did it anyway, and Mayah has had a very stressful 4 1/2 yrs of life. She does not understand why mommy has to go away all the time and gets VERY angry if you even mention Doctors, etc. she has trouble sleeping when Kari is in the hospital, won't eat and cries alot. Then Kari comes home and they bond once again only to have it happen all over again and I for one think that it is a very traumatic way for a child to live. And after years of that fun and games she will certainly lose her mother for good. So Kari gets to spend alot of her time planning for her death and fretting over whats going to happen to Mayah. Thats the reality plain and simple. I LOVE my granddaughter more than life itself and she is the light of my life I have TWO daughters w/cf my only two, and Mayah is indeed my miracle baby, but it tears me up to see her suffer none the less. But once again this is my familys story and HOPEFULLY not all cf moms will have our experience.

karismom

 

[anonymous]

FIRST OF ALL I WANT TO APOLOGIZE. I DID NOT IN ANY WAY MEAN TO OFFEND
ANYONE. I HAVE GONE AND ARE GOING THROUGH THE SAME "JUNK" WITH THIS
DISEASE AS AN OTHER CFER, MAYBE JUST ON A DIFFERENT LEVEL.
I TEND TO COME ACCROSS ANGRY AT THE DISEASE BECAUSE I AM. I AM ANGRY AT EVERYTHING IT TAKES FROM YOU. I THINK MAYBE SOMETIMES IF I COME ACCROSS STRONG OR ANGRY AT THE DISEASE, IT WILL GO AWAY.... MAYBE JUST MY FORM OF DENIAL?
I AM SO SORRY IF I OFFENDED ANYONE.
I WILL SAY THIS THOUGH, WHEN I DECIDED TO HAVE MY DAUGHTER I DID NOT GO INTO IT WITH THE MINDSET THAT I MIGHT NOT LIVE TO SEE HER GROW UP. I JUST PRAYED ABOUT IT AND PRAYED THAT IF HE ALLOWED ME TO HAVE HER HE WOULD ALLOW ME TO SEE HER GROW UP. I HAVE HAD 8 WONDERFUL
YEARS WITH HER, SOME SICK, SOME WELL.
AND WHEN I REFERRED TO HER LIVING ON THROUGH ME, I THINK THAT WAS MISINTERPRETED. MY PASTOR HAD ONCE TOLD ME WHEN AND IF THAT TIME CAME AND I PASSED AWAY THAT MY FAMILY WOULD HAVE MY BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER LEFT TO LOVE----AS A PART OF ME.
I WISH NOTHING MORE IN THIS LIFETIME THAN A CURE FOR CF, BUT IN THE MEANTIME I AM STILL BECKONING THE DOORS OF HEAVEN FOR MY HEALING.
GOD IS ALWAYS IN CONTROL AND CAN CHANGE THINGS IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE.
GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU,
YOUR DAUGHTERS AND YOUR GRANDDAUGHTER,
I PRAY HEALING FOR YOU,

VICKY

 

[anonymous]

FIRST OF ALL I WANT TO APOLOGIZE. I DID NOT IN ANY WAY MEAN TO OFFEND
ANYONE. I HAVE GONE AND ARE GOING THROUGH THE SAME "JUNK" WITH THIS
DISEASE AS AN OTHER CFER, MAYBE JUST ON A DIFFERENT LEVEL.
I TEND TO COME ACCROSS ANGRY AT THE DISEASE BECAUSE I AM. I AM ANGRY AT EVERYTHING IT TAKES FROM YOU. I THINK MAYBE SOMETIMES IF I COME ACCROSS STRONG OR ANGRY AT THE DISEASE, IT WILL GO AWAY.... MAYBE JUST MY FORM OF DENIAL?
I AM SO SORRY IF I OFFENDED ANYONE.
I WILL SAY THIS THOUGH, WHEN I DECIDED TO HAVE MY DAUGHTER I DID NOT GO INTO IT WITH THE MINDSET THAT I MIGHT NOT LIVE TO SEE HER GROW UP. I JUST PRAYED ABOUT IT AND PRAYED THAT IF HE ALLOWED ME TO HAVE HER HE WOULD ALLOW ME TO SEE HER GROW UP. I HAVE HAD 8 WONDERFUL
YEARS WITH HER, SOME SICK, SOME WELL.
AND WHEN I REFERRED TO HER LIVING ON THROUGH ME, I THINK THAT WAS MISINTERPRETED. MY PASTOR HAD ONCE TOLD ME WHEN AND IF THAT TIME CAME AND I PASSED AWAY THAT MY FAMILY WOULD HAVE MY BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER LEFT TO LOVE----AS A PART OF ME.
I WISH NOTHING MORE IN THIS LIFETIME THAN A CURE FOR CF, BUT IN THE MEANTIME I AM STILL BECKONING THE DOORS OF HEAVEN FOR MY HEALING.
GOD IS ALWAYS IN CONTROL AND CAN CHANGE THINGS IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE.
GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU,
YOUR DAUGHTERS AND YOUR GRANDDAUGHTER,
I PRAY HEALING FOR YOU,

VICKY

 

[anonymous]

FIRST OF ALL I WANT TO APOLOGIZE. I DID NOT IN ANY WAY MEAN TO OFFEND
ANYONE. I HAVE GONE AND ARE GOING THROUGH THE SAME "JUNK" WITH THIS
DISEASE AS AN OTHER CFER, MAYBE JUST ON A DIFFERENT LEVEL.
I TEND TO COME ACCROSS ANGRY AT THE DISEASE BECAUSE I AM. I AM ANGRY AT EVERYTHING IT TAKES FROM YOU. I THINK MAYBE SOMETIMES IF I COME ACCROSS STRONG OR ANGRY AT THE DISEASE, IT WILL GO AWAY.... MAYBE JUST MY FORM OF DENIAL?
I AM SO SORRY IF I OFFENDED ANYONE.
I WILL SAY THIS THOUGH, WHEN I DECIDED TO HAVE MY DAUGHTER I DID NOT GO INTO IT WITH THE MINDSET THAT I MIGHT NOT LIVE TO SEE HER GROW UP. I JUST PRAYED ABOUT IT AND PRAYED THAT IF HE ALLOWED ME TO HAVE HER HE WOULD ALLOW ME TO SEE HER GROW UP. I HAVE HAD 8 WONDERFUL
YEARS WITH HER, SOME SICK, SOME WELL.
AND WHEN I REFERRED TO HER LIVING ON THROUGH ME, I THINK THAT WAS MISINTERPRETED. MY PASTOR HAD ONCE TOLD ME WHEN AND IF THAT TIME CAME AND I PASSED AWAY THAT MY FAMILY WOULD HAVE MY BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER LEFT TO LOVE----AS A PART OF ME.
I WISH NOTHING MORE IN THIS LIFETIME THAN A CURE FOR CF, BUT IN THE MEANTIME I AM STILL BECKONING THE DOORS OF HEAVEN FOR MY HEALING.
GOD IS ALWAYS IN CONTROL AND CAN CHANGE THINGS IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE.
GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU,
YOUR DAUGHTERS AND YOUR GRANDDAUGHTER,
I PRAY HEALING FOR YOU,

VICKY

 

[anonymous]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>karismom</b></i>

WOW



Hey if you think that it is fair to have a child when you have a fatal disease as opposed to MAYBE you'll become ill and die while your child is young from cancer etc. then thats GREAT!!! Color me stupid but I happen to think that it is <b>selfish</b> to knowingly bring a child into the world when you KNOW FOR A FACT 110% that you will be sick and probably die while they are young.


karismom</end quote></div>

For those of you who feel like Karismom; that making the choice to become a mom knowing you have CF is selfish because you will die before your child/children, I would like to ask two questions:

1. Is there a certain age that if a child reached (18 yrs, 21 yrs , 30 yrs??) before the mom died then being a mom with cf is acceptable? Or is it never acceptable?

2. Do you feel the same way when a father with cf makes the choice to have a child(whether they become a father naturally or by sperm donation or adoption)?

Ellen

 

[anonymous]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>karismom</b></i>

WOW



Hey if you think that it is fair to have a child when you have a fatal disease as opposed to MAYBE you'll become ill and die while your child is young from cancer etc. then thats GREAT!!! Color me stupid but I happen to think that it is <b>selfish</b> to knowingly bring a child into the world when you KNOW FOR A FACT 110% that you will be sick and probably die while they are young.


karismom</end quote></div>

For those of you who feel like Karismom; that making the choice to become a mom knowing you have CF is selfish because you will die before your child/children, I would like to ask two questions:

1. Is there a certain age that if a child reached (18 yrs, 21 yrs , 30 yrs??) before the mom died then being a mom with cf is acceptable? Or is it never acceptable?

2. Do you feel the same way when a father with cf makes the choice to have a child(whether they become a father naturally or by sperm donation or adoption)?

Ellen

 

[anonymous]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>karismom</b></i>

WOW



Hey if you think that it is fair to have a child when you have a fatal disease as opposed to MAYBE you'll become ill and die while your child is young from cancer etc. then thats GREAT!!! Color me stupid but I happen to think that it is <b>selfish</b> to knowingly bring a child into the world when you KNOW FOR A FACT 110% that you will be sick and probably die while they are young.


karismom</end quote></div>

For those of you who feel like Karismom; that making the choice to become a mom knowing you have CF is selfish because you will die before your child/children, I would like to ask two questions:

1. Is there a certain age that if a child reached (18 yrs, 21 yrs , 30 yrs??) before the mom died then being a mom with cf is acceptable? Or is it never acceptable?

2. Do you feel the same way when a father with cf makes the choice to have a child(whether they become a father naturally or by sperm donation or adoption)?

Ellen

 

[my65roses4me]

Hi Vicky,<br>
I was wondering if you dont mind me asking, what were your pft's
when you became pregnant? What was your health like then. I know
everyone is different and everyones pregnancy is different but I am
trying to get a comparison to how my health is compare to those
that have been thru this. Thanks for your replies and your help!

 

[my65roses4me]

Hi Vicky,<br>
I was wondering if you dont mind me asking, what were your pft's
when you became pregnant? What was your health like then. I know
everyone is different and everyones pregnancy is different but I am
trying to get a comparison to how my health is compare to those
that have been thru this. Thanks for your replies and your help!

 

[my65roses4me]

Hi Vicky,<br>
I was wondering if you dont mind me asking, what were your pft's
when you became pregnant? What was your health like then. I know
everyone is different and everyones pregnancy is different but I am
trying to get a comparison to how my health is compare to those
that have been thru this. Thanks for your replies and your help!

 

[Scarlett81]

I don't think its right for anyone to make a blanket statement about whether its right or not right to have kids depending on the reason-lots of people have kids for bad reasons, or have them without thinking it through. Sure, that doesn't make it right. But its just a thought.

But at least a child that is brought into this world by a mom/dad with cf is surely wanted, (meaning here that the parent went to lengths to conceive and have a baby) and that's more than many kids can say. I lost both my parents to drugs and alcohol-their choice. Speaking from experience, I'd rather have 10 years with a loving caring parent, than a lifetime of living with a parent who was absent, or in my case abandoned me.

Some people want to have kids so they can live through them-as long as that's not the only reason you have them, what's wrong with that? Why were we made with the desire to have kids? Isn't it b/c we can raise someone, teach them right from wrong, pass on our values? Isn't a parent proud when their kid is in a situation, posed to chose right from wrong, and they make the right choice based on what we taught them?-Sounds like living through your child to me. I'm just saying, that feeling is perfectly natural. Esp if you have a legacy of love to pass on.

<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">Just my thoughts. No offense intended to anyone.

 

[Scarlett81]

I don't think its right for anyone to make a blanket statement about whether its right or not right to have kids depending on the reason-lots of people have kids for bad reasons, or have them without thinking it through. Sure, that doesn't make it right. But its just a thought.

But at least a child that is brought into this world by a mom/dad with cf is surely wanted, (meaning here that the parent went to lengths to conceive and have a baby) and that's more than many kids can say. I lost both my parents to drugs and alcohol-their choice. Speaking from experience, I'd rather have 10 years with a loving caring parent, than a lifetime of living with a parent who was absent, or in my case abandoned me.

Some people want to have kids so they can live through them-as long as that's not the only reason you have them, what's wrong with that? Why were we made with the desire to have kids? Isn't it b/c we can raise someone, teach them right from wrong, pass on our values? Isn't a parent proud when their kid is in a situation, posed to chose right from wrong, and they make the right choice based on what we taught them?-Sounds like living through your child to me. I'm just saying, that feeling is perfectly natural. Esp if you have a legacy of love to pass on.

<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">Just my thoughts. No offense intended to anyone.

 

[Scarlett81]

I don't think its right for anyone to make a blanket statement about whether its right or not right to have kids depending on the reason-lots of people have kids for bad reasons, or have them without thinking it through. Sure, that doesn't make it right. But its just a thought.

But at least a child that is brought into this world by a mom/dad with cf is surely wanted, (meaning here that the parent went to lengths to conceive and have a baby) and that's more than many kids can say. I lost both my parents to drugs and alcohol-their choice. Speaking from experience, I'd rather have 10 years with a loving caring parent, than a lifetime of living with a parent who was absent, or in my case abandoned me.

Some people want to have kids so they can live through them-as long as that's not the only reason you have them, what's wrong with that? Why were we made with the desire to have kids? Isn't it b/c we can raise someone, teach them right from wrong, pass on our values? Isn't a parent proud when their kid is in a situation, posed to chose right from wrong, and they make the right choice based on what we taught them?-Sounds like living through your child to me. I'm just saying, that feeling is perfectly natural. Esp if you have a legacy of love to pass on.

<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">Just my thoughts. No offense intended to anyone.