I am at my wits end with my niece's mother! Unfortunately, my 17 yr. old niece was dealt an awful hand: CF, dad's out of the picture. Her mom is remarried, made more kids, and is just done with the CF thing. My niece has had a horrible summer blood clots, stents, and is currently hospitalized with a rather nasty excacerbation and, other than being in the room, her mother is completely non-supportive. I have tried talking to her, praying with/for her, pleading with her to be strong but she is nothing but negative and she behaves this way in front of my niece!! I have asked her to reach out to support groups for help but she won't. She has said she just wants somebody else to take over. Have any of you caregivers gone through something like this? What can I do to make her see that her negativity is not good for her daughter? I seriously think she wants her to die. I'm at a loss...
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What do you do for your cf'r when her parent has given up?
- Thread starter cfauntie
- Start date
I am at my wits end with my niece's mother! Unfortunately, my 17 yr. old niece was dealt an awful hand: CF, dad's out of the picture. Her mom is remarried, made more kids, and is just done with the CF thing. My niece has had a horrible summer blood clots, stents, and is currently hospitalized with a rather nasty excacerbation and, other than being in the room, her mother is completely non-supportive. I have tried talking to her, praying with/for her, pleading with her to be strong but she is nothing but negative and she behaves this way in front of my niece!! I have asked her to reach out to support groups for help but she won't. She has said she just wants somebody else to take over. Have any of you caregivers gone through something like this? What can I do to make her see that her negativity is not good for her daughter? I seriously think she wants her to die. I'm at a loss...
I am at my wits end with my niece's mother! Unfortunately, my 17 yr. old niece was dealt an awful hand: CF, dad's out of the picture. Her mom is remarried, made more kids, and is just done with the CF thing. My niece has had a horrible summer blood clots, stents, and is currently hospitalized with a rather nasty excacerbation and, other than being in the room, her mother is completely non-supportive. I have tried talking to her, praying with/for her, pleading with her to be strong but she is nothing but negative and she behaves this way in front of my niece!! I have asked her to reach out to support groups for help but she won't. She has said she just wants somebody else to take over. Have any of you caregivers gone through something like this? What can I do to make her see that her negativity is not good for her daughter? I seriously think she wants her to die. I'm at a loss...
Sounds as if mom's depressed; however, you can't make her get help or act any differently.
I guess all you can really do is be there for your niece. Offer her support, bring her snacks, books, magazines, dvds -- things to keep her occupied during her stay. Visit with her.
I have a sibling who has 3 kids -- none of whom have any type of major health illness -- but she's pretty much deserted each and every one of them every time a new boyfriend/husband comes along. All I can do is be there for the kids as my sister is too self involved.
I guess all you can really do is be there for your niece. Offer her support, bring her snacks, books, magazines, dvds -- things to keep her occupied during her stay. Visit with her.
I have a sibling who has 3 kids -- none of whom have any type of major health illness -- but she's pretty much deserted each and every one of them every time a new boyfriend/husband comes along. All I can do is be there for the kids as my sister is too self involved.
Sounds as if mom's depressed; however, you can't make her get help or act any differently.
I guess all you can really do is be there for your niece. Offer her support, bring her snacks, books, magazines, dvds -- things to keep her occupied during her stay. Visit with her.
I have a sibling who has 3 kids -- none of whom have any type of major health illness -- but she's pretty much deserted each and every one of them every time a new boyfriend/husband comes along. All I can do is be there for the kids as my sister is too self involved.
I guess all you can really do is be there for your niece. Offer her support, bring her snacks, books, magazines, dvds -- things to keep her occupied during her stay. Visit with her.
I have a sibling who has 3 kids -- none of whom have any type of major health illness -- but she's pretty much deserted each and every one of them every time a new boyfriend/husband comes along. All I can do is be there for the kids as my sister is too self involved.
Sounds as if mom's depressed; however, you can't make her get help or act any differently.
<br />
<br />I guess all you can really do is be there for your niece. Offer her support, bring her snacks, books, magazines, dvds -- things to keep her occupied during her stay. Visit with her.
<br />
<br />I have a sibling who has 3 kids -- none of whom have any type of major health illness -- but she's pretty much deserted each and every one of them every time a new boyfriend/husband comes along. All I can do is be there for the kids as my sister is too self involved.
<br />
<br />I guess all you can really do is be there for your niece. Offer her support, bring her snacks, books, magazines, dvds -- things to keep her occupied during her stay. Visit with her.
<br />
<br />I have a sibling who has 3 kids -- none of whom have any type of major health illness -- but she's pretty much deserted each and every one of them every time a new boyfriend/husband comes along. All I can do is be there for the kids as my sister is too self involved.
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drdanika
Guest
Your neice is old enough to know everything that is going on in this situation. Bypass mom and talk to her. Make sure she knows that YOU are there for her. Ask her what she wants from her mom, and then encourage your neice to tell her that. that's my advise as someone who was once 17. Mother dead, father remarried and uninvolved. Good luck.
D
drdanika
Guest
Your neice is old enough to know everything that is going on in this situation. Bypass mom and talk to her. Make sure she knows that YOU are there for her. Ask her what she wants from her mom, and then encourage your neice to tell her that. that's my advise as someone who was once 17. Mother dead, father remarried and uninvolved. Good luck.
D
drdanika
Guest
Your neice is old enough to know everything that is going on in this situation. Bypass mom and talk to her. Make sure she knows that YOU are there for her. Ask her what she wants from her mom, and then encourage your neice to tell her that. that's my advise as someone who was once 17. Mother dead, father remarried and uninvolved. Good luck.
Wow, yeah the mom has her own issues, how selfish. But you cant expect her to do anything different. Hopefully your niece will be stronger than her mother. Moms are broken sometimes too. I think she needs to isolate and search for someone else that can give her support. Maybe a professional counselor to help identify some of the emotional issues at hand. I know a lot of us go through "mad at the world" stuff and it is only our own decision to make a difference for ourselves. We have to make a choice if cf is going to get us or not.
Wow, yeah the mom has her own issues, how selfish. But you cant expect her to do anything different. Hopefully your niece will be stronger than her mother. Moms are broken sometimes too. I think she needs to isolate and search for someone else that can give her support. Maybe a professional counselor to help identify some of the emotional issues at hand. I know a lot of us go through "mad at the world" stuff and it is only our own decision to make a difference for ourselves. We have to make a choice if cf is going to get us or not.
Wow, yeah the mom has her own issues, how selfish. But you cant expect her to do anything different. Hopefully your niece will be stronger than her mother. Moms are broken sometimes too. I think she needs to isolate and search for someone else that can give her support. Maybe a professional counselor to help identify some of the emotional issues at hand. I know a lot of us go through "mad at the world" stuff and it is only our own decision to make a difference for ourselves. We have to make a choice if cf is going to get us or not.
So sorry to hear about that situation. I have some experience with that kind of parent. Luckily I have an awesome mom and church family that are so incredible encouraging. I think it just helps to have someone who will bring you movies and nag you to eat and just be that parental figure. Sounds like she has that in you!
Love and prayers!
Love and prayers!
So sorry to hear about that situation. I have some experience with that kind of parent. Luckily I have an awesome mom and church family that are so incredible encouraging. I think it just helps to have someone who will bring you movies and nag you to eat and just be that parental figure. Sounds like she has that in you!
Love and prayers!
Love and prayers!
So sorry to hear about that situation. I have some experience with that kind of parent. Luckily I have an awesome mom and church family that are so incredible encouraging. I think it just helps to have someone who will bring you movies and nag you to eat and just be that parental figure. Sounds like she has that in you!
Love and prayers!
Love and prayers!
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DelilahSmith
Guest
As her Aunt, please encourage the teen to reach out for help from friends to bring movies, snacks, etc to the hospital & take turns with mom to let her have a break out of the room. My daughter is 18 now & has been hospitalized a lot over the past 5 yrs and I have to have help. I am single parent as well and have to work daily when she is in. My son & daughter in law visit her in hospital & we take turns along with other friends. No family here to help. Give mom a break from hospital room. she doesn't need to be there all the time, it is draining mentally & physically. Ask for groups if you are in any to visit her as well & church pastors are a great resource. She needs all the encouragement she can get to fight the disease so having negativity all the time in not good. She needs other people to encourage her in her fight. Don't beat Mom up so bad cuz we all get depressed fighting this battle with our children is very hard. See if you can get any women to come to her aid with encouragement. There are not many support groups around for the CF community so maybe she just can't find anywhere to go. As her sister all you can do is help her with all the daily care needs for your niece, time will heal her along with seeing that other people do really care.
D
DelilahSmith
Guest
As her Aunt, please encourage the teen to reach out for help from friends to bring movies, snacks, etc to the hospital & take turns with mom to let her have a break out of the room. My daughter is 18 now & has been hospitalized a lot over the past 5 yrs and I have to have help. I am single parent as well and have to work daily when she is in. My son & daughter in law visit her in hospital & we take turns along with other friends. No family here to help. Give mom a break from hospital room. she doesn't need to be there all the time, it is draining mentally & physically. Ask for groups if you are in any to visit her as well & church pastors are a great resource. She needs all the encouragement she can get to fight the disease so having negativity all the time in not good. She needs other people to encourage her in her fight. Don't beat Mom up so bad cuz we all get depressed fighting this battle with our children is very hard. See if you can get any women to come to her aid with encouragement. There are not many support groups around for the CF community so maybe she just can't find anywhere to go. As her sister all you can do is help her with all the daily care needs for your niece, time will heal her along with seeing that other people do really care.
D
DelilahSmith
Guest
As her Aunt, please encourage the teen to reach out for help from friends to bring movies, snacks, etc to the hospital & take turns with mom to let her have a break out of the room. My daughter is 18 now & has been hospitalized a lot over the past 5 yrs and I have to have help. I am single parent as well and have to work daily when she is in. My son & daughter in law visit her in hospital & we take turns along with other friends. No family here to help. Give mom a break from hospital room. she doesn't need to be there all the time, it is draining mentally & physically. Ask for groups if you are in any to visit her as well & church pastors are a great resource. She needs all the encouragement she can get to fight the disease so having negativity all the time in not good. She needs other people to encourage her in her fight. Don't beat Mom up so bad cuz we all get depressed fighting this battle with our children is very hard. See if you can get any women to come to her aid with encouragement. There are not many support groups around for the CF community so maybe she just can't find anywhere to go. As her sister all you can do is help her with all the daily care needs for your niece, time will heal her along with seeing that other people do really care.