what do you do? step daughter visitations

C

chrissyd

New member
I'm not sure who you are telling to grow up, I assume it must be the BM? The only response I see so far is from Mommafirst and her post doesn't seem to call for her being told to grow up.

That being said....I know exactly what you mean when you say the birthmother drives you nuts. I have never met her but I have had my own issues dealing with that kind of situation. Its always a mess and the kids are the ones who get hurt. If the visitation is that big of a deal to her, or to you...go back to court and get something worked out. She can't "force" visitation; unless your state has different rules than mine. We have gone to court more times than I can count to try to resolve our problems with visitation and junk...

Our problem though is the opposite of yours. She never wants to visit with my daughter and uses any and every excuss to cancel. It's sad. Anyhow, since you can't talk to the BM with out her freaking out and screaming and yelling...get a lawyer. Maybe that will be enough to make her shut up and listen....

Good Luck!

<img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">
 
C

chrissyd

New member
I'm not sure who you are telling to grow up, I assume it must be the BM? The only response I see so far is from Mommafirst and her post doesn't seem to call for her being told to grow up.

That being said....I know exactly what you mean when you say the birthmother drives you nuts. I have never met her but I have had my own issues dealing with that kind of situation. Its always a mess and the kids are the ones who get hurt. If the visitation is that big of a deal to her, or to you...go back to court and get something worked out. She can't "force" visitation; unless your state has different rules than mine. We have gone to court more times than I can count to try to resolve our problems with visitation and junk...

Our problem though is the opposite of yours. She never wants to visit with my daughter and uses any and every excuss to cancel. It's sad. Anyhow, since you can't talk to the BM with out her freaking out and screaming and yelling...get a lawyer. Maybe that will be enough to make her shut up and listen....

Good Luck!

<img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">
 
C

chrissyd

New member
I'm not sure who you are telling to grow up, I assume it must be the BM? The only response I see so far is from Mommafirst and her post doesn't seem to call for her being told to grow up.

That being said....I know exactly what you mean when you say the birthmother drives you nuts. I have never met her but I have had my own issues dealing with that kind of situation. Its always a mess and the kids are the ones who get hurt. If the visitation is that big of a deal to her, or to you...go back to court and get something worked out. She can't "force" visitation; unless your state has different rules than mine. We have gone to court more times than I can count to try to resolve our problems with visitation and junk...

Our problem though is the opposite of yours. She never wants to visit with my daughter and uses any and every excuss to cancel. It's sad. Anyhow, since you can't talk to the BM with out her freaking out and screaming and yelling...get a lawyer. Maybe that will be enough to make her shut up and listen....

Good Luck!

<img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">
 
C

chrissyd

New member
I'm not sure who you are telling to grow up, I assume it must be the BM? The only response I see so far is from Mommafirst and her post doesn't seem to call for her being told to grow up.

That being said....I know exactly what you mean when you say the birthmother drives you nuts. I have never met her but I have had my own issues dealing with that kind of situation. Its always a mess and the kids are the ones who get hurt. If the visitation is that big of a deal to her, or to you...go back to court and get something worked out. She can't "force" visitation; unless your state has different rules than mine. We have gone to court more times than I can count to try to resolve our problems with visitation and junk...

Our problem though is the opposite of yours. She never wants to visit with my daughter and uses any and every excuss to cancel. It's sad. Anyhow, since you can't talk to the BM with out her freaking out and screaming and yelling...get a lawyer. Maybe that will be enough to make her shut up and listen....

Good Luck!

<img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">
 
C

chrissyd

New member
I'm not sure who you are telling to grow up, I assume it must be the BM? The only response I see so far is from Mommafirst and her post doesn't seem to call for her being told to grow up.
<br />
<br />That being said....I know exactly what you mean when you say the birthmother drives you nuts. I have never met her but I have had my own issues dealing with that kind of situation. Its always a mess and the kids are the ones who get hurt. If the visitation is that big of a deal to her, or to you...go back to court and get something worked out. She can't "force" visitation; unless your state has different rules than mine. We have gone to court more times than I can count to try to resolve our problems with visitation and junk...
<br />
<br />Our problem though is the opposite of yours. She never wants to visit with my daughter and uses any and every excuss to cancel. It's sad. Anyhow, since you can't talk to the BM with out her freaking out and screaming and yelling...get a lawyer. Maybe that will be enough to make her shut up and listen....
<br />
<br />Good Luck!
<br />
<br /><img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">
<br />
<br />
 
N

NanaOf8GirlsAndCounting

Guest
I am sorry if anyone thought I was telling anyone on here to grow up. I was speaking actually to the BM. CF has affected our whole family and she seems to be the only one not willing to bend. Planning is not something that can be done written in stone but may need to change due to circumstances beyond our control. I just wish that they could work out a solution that would benefit all the children. Like if Graycie is in the hospital they could switch weekends so that Daddy could actually spend time with her instead of being at the hospital during her visit and having her farmed off somewhere else. I know they want to see her and she would want time with daddy too. Doing exactly what the court papers say doesn't work all the time. I can understand if she already had plans but that isn't what is happening. My Ex Son In Law is great with the scheduling due to Graycie's hospital stays. I wish all ex's were like him....
 
N

NanaOf8GirlsAndCounting

Guest
I am sorry if anyone thought I was telling anyone on here to grow up. I was speaking actually to the BM. CF has affected our whole family and she seems to be the only one not willing to bend. Planning is not something that can be done written in stone but may need to change due to circumstances beyond our control. I just wish that they could work out a solution that would benefit all the children. Like if Graycie is in the hospital they could switch weekends so that Daddy could actually spend time with her instead of being at the hospital during her visit and having her farmed off somewhere else. I know they want to see her and she would want time with daddy too. Doing exactly what the court papers say doesn't work all the time. I can understand if she already had plans but that isn't what is happening. My Ex Son In Law is great with the scheduling due to Graycie's hospital stays. I wish all ex's were like him....
 
N

NanaOf8GirlsAndCounting

Guest
I am sorry if anyone thought I was telling anyone on here to grow up. I was speaking actually to the BM. CF has affected our whole family and she seems to be the only one not willing to bend. Planning is not something that can be done written in stone but may need to change due to circumstances beyond our control. I just wish that they could work out a solution that would benefit all the children. Like if Graycie is in the hospital they could switch weekends so that Daddy could actually spend time with her instead of being at the hospital during her visit and having her farmed off somewhere else. I know they want to see her and she would want time with daddy too. Doing exactly what the court papers say doesn't work all the time. I can understand if she already had plans but that isn't what is happening. My Ex Son In Law is great with the scheduling due to Graycie's hospital stays. I wish all ex's were like him....
 
N

NanaOf8GirlsAndCounting

Guest
I am sorry if anyone thought I was telling anyone on here to grow up. I was speaking actually to the BM. CF has affected our whole family and she seems to be the only one not willing to bend. Planning is not something that can be done written in stone but may need to change due to circumstances beyond our control. I just wish that they could work out a solution that would benefit all the children. Like if Graycie is in the hospital they could switch weekends so that Daddy could actually spend time with her instead of being at the hospital during her visit and having her farmed off somewhere else. I know they want to see her and she would want time with daddy too. Doing exactly what the court papers say doesn't work all the time. I can understand if she already had plans but that isn't what is happening. My Ex Son In Law is great with the scheduling due to Graycie's hospital stays. I wish all ex's were like him....
 
N

NanaOf8GirlsAndCounting

Guest
I am sorry if anyone thought I was telling anyone on here to grow up. I was speaking actually to the BM. CF has affected our whole family and she seems to be the only one not willing to bend. Planning is not something that can be done written in stone but may need to change due to circumstances beyond our control. I just wish that they could work out a solution that would benefit all the children. Like if Graycie is in the hospital they could switch weekends so that Daddy could actually spend time with her instead of being at the hospital during her visit and having her farmed off somewhere else. I know they want to see her and she would want time with daddy too. Doing exactly what the court papers say doesn't work all the time. I can understand if she already had plans but that isn't what is happening. My Ex Son In Law is great with the scheduling due to Graycie's hospital stays. I wish all ex's were like him....
 
C

chrissyd

New member
I figure you might have been! I can't tell you how often I have thought the same thing about my daughters birthmother. I'm the one with CF in our family so I can't speak about the aspects of how CF effects others. I can only go by what I read here and what my family tells me.

I would think that because you have a special situation that requires flexibility that a court would be able to help. BUT I know what you are saying when you say that it just takes a little bending...and how frustraited you all are that the BM isn't doing it. I would say that maybe she is upset becausew she feels as if her daughter is missing out when visits have to be moved or cancelled...but it sounds more like she wants "her" time alone. Someone needs to tell her that when you become a parent, it is rarely about what you want anymore!

She sounds very self absorbed. Has anyone explained what CF is to her, or does she just ignore what you guys say?

<img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">
 
C

chrissyd

New member
I figure you might have been! I can't tell you how often I have thought the same thing about my daughters birthmother. I'm the one with CF in our family so I can't speak about the aspects of how CF effects others. I can only go by what I read here and what my family tells me.

I would think that because you have a special situation that requires flexibility that a court would be able to help. BUT I know what you are saying when you say that it just takes a little bending...and how frustraited you all are that the BM isn't doing it. I would say that maybe she is upset becausew she feels as if her daughter is missing out when visits have to be moved or cancelled...but it sounds more like she wants "her" time alone. Someone needs to tell her that when you become a parent, it is rarely about what you want anymore!

She sounds very self absorbed. Has anyone explained what CF is to her, or does she just ignore what you guys say?

<img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">
 
C

chrissyd

New member
I figure you might have been! I can't tell you how often I have thought the same thing about my daughters birthmother. I'm the one with CF in our family so I can't speak about the aspects of how CF effects others. I can only go by what I read here and what my family tells me.

I would think that because you have a special situation that requires flexibility that a court would be able to help. BUT I know what you are saying when you say that it just takes a little bending...and how frustraited you all are that the BM isn't doing it. I would say that maybe she is upset becausew she feels as if her daughter is missing out when visits have to be moved or cancelled...but it sounds more like she wants "her" time alone. Someone needs to tell her that when you become a parent, it is rarely about what you want anymore!

She sounds very self absorbed. Has anyone explained what CF is to her, or does she just ignore what you guys say?

<img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">
 
C

chrissyd

New member
I figure you might have been! I can't tell you how often I have thought the same thing about my daughters birthmother. I'm the one with CF in our family so I can't speak about the aspects of how CF effects others. I can only go by what I read here and what my family tells me.

I would think that because you have a special situation that requires flexibility that a court would be able to help. BUT I know what you are saying when you say that it just takes a little bending...and how frustraited you all are that the BM isn't doing it. I would say that maybe she is upset becausew she feels as if her daughter is missing out when visits have to be moved or cancelled...but it sounds more like she wants "her" time alone. Someone needs to tell her that when you become a parent, it is rarely about what you want anymore!

She sounds very self absorbed. Has anyone explained what CF is to her, or does she just ignore what you guys say?

<img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">
 
C

chrissyd

New member
I figure you might have been! I can't tell you how often I have thought the same thing about my daughters birthmother. I'm the one with CF in our family so I can't speak about the aspects of how CF effects others. I can only go by what I read here and what my family tells me.
<br />
<br />I would think that because you have a special situation that requires flexibility that a court would be able to help. BUT I know what you are saying when you say that it just takes a little bending...and how frustraited you all are that the BM isn't doing it. I would say that maybe she is upset becausew she feels as if her daughter is missing out when visits have to be moved or cancelled...but it sounds more like she wants "her" time alone. Someone needs to tell her that when you become a parent, it is rarely about what you want anymore!
<br />
<br />She sounds very self absorbed. Has anyone explained what CF is to her, or does she just ignore what you guys say?
<br />
<br /><img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">
 
T

Tcole

New member
I have gave the BM a paper about CF and gave her a video about Grayson's Journey. I thought that would lighten things up with her knowing our frustrations with dealing with this awful disease. I also asked if my SC could help raise money for our Great Srides Team for her lil sissy. She said no. Still no budging. My ex raised money at his work and is still bringing in money. I just think it would be silly if any of the kids are ill to send them anywhere. I keep tabs on the health of everyone at my ex's home just in case i may not want to send my non cf children. Its just common sense on the visitations.
 
T

Tcole

New member
I have gave the BM a paper about CF and gave her a video about Grayson's Journey. I thought that would lighten things up with her knowing our frustrations with dealing with this awful disease. I also asked if my SC could help raise money for our Great Srides Team for her lil sissy. She said no. Still no budging. My ex raised money at his work and is still bringing in money. I just think it would be silly if any of the kids are ill to send them anywhere. I keep tabs on the health of everyone at my ex's home just in case i may not want to send my non cf children. Its just common sense on the visitations.
 
T

Tcole

New member
I have gave the BM a paper about CF and gave her a video about Grayson's Journey. I thought that would lighten things up with her knowing our frustrations with dealing with this awful disease. I also asked if my SC could help raise money for our Great Srides Team for her lil sissy. She said no. Still no budging. My ex raised money at his work and is still bringing in money. I just think it would be silly if any of the kids are ill to send them anywhere. I keep tabs on the health of everyone at my ex's home just in case i may not want to send my non cf children. Its just common sense on the visitations.
 
T

Tcole

New member
I have gave the BM a paper about CF and gave her a video about Grayson's Journey. I thought that would lighten things up with her knowing our frustrations with dealing with this awful disease. I also asked if my SC could help raise money for our Great Srides Team for her lil sissy. She said no. Still no budging. My ex raised money at his work and is still bringing in money. I just think it would be silly if any of the kids are ill to send them anywhere. I keep tabs on the health of everyone at my ex's home just in case i may not want to send my non cf children. Its just common sense on the visitations.
 
T

Tcole

New member
I have gave the BM a paper about CF and gave her a video about Grayson's Journey. I thought that would lighten things up with her knowing our frustrations with dealing with this awful disease. I also asked if my SC could help raise money for our Great Srides Team for her lil sissy. She said no. Still no budging. My ex raised money at his work and is still bringing in money. I just think it would be silly if any of the kids are ill to send them anywhere. I keep tabs on the health of everyone at my ex's home just in case i may not want to send my non cf children. Its just common sense on the visitations.
 
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