What to tell people

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thelizardqueen

New member
I have a question for you all who do not work. I currently am not working due to health issues, I'm on SA, and I am newly single. I'm not ready to get back into the dating scene yet (oh how I hate dating), but was curious as to what I should tell people when I do get into dating again. What do I tell prospects when they ask what I do for a living? Telling people that I do not work due to health issues and am on Assistance just seems like the perfect was for someone not to be interested in me. Any thoughts? What do you tell people when they ask what you do for a living and you don't work?
 
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Ender

New member
Enjoy life? Relax. Tell em you are taking some time to sort things out in your life.

Or you can lie.....hahah say you are self employed? Make something up lol.

It's all good.

Oh one more thing. I hate it when people ask you what you do, especially if you just meet them. Like it defines who you are. It pisses me off. I usually say "I live"...and they give me wierd looks.

Whatever. Society is dumb sometimes ;P
 
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Emily65Roses

New member
I go with my wonderful back burner <i>career</i>. "I'm a student."

As for you, if you're not looking to spill the CF right away, "I'm between jobs" "I'm trying to find a new career" I don't know. Those are just suggestions, because I have no clue. Haha.
 
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thelizardqueen

New member
I just don't want to lie if it turns into a longish term relationship...

Edited to add: Not that I'm looking for serious right now...but you know...
 
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thelizardqueen

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Ender</b></i>

Tell them you are a baby machine</end quote></div>


F you Ender...how is that going to help my cause?<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">
 
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kybert

New member
when random people i havent seen for a while ask me that question i get so annoyed. its gotten to the stage where i feel like saying "its none of your damn business". honestly, its a stupid question anyway. people know that not everyone works for a number of different reasons yet people still feel the need to ask 'that' question as if its illegal for a young person not to be working! when you tell them you dont work, instead of them leaving it at that and thinking "hmm there must be a good reason for them not working", they press the issue and then they look absolutely horrified and think youre a lazy bum who has an easy life. and this is coming from people who KNOW i have cf. its like they think my cf has just gone away or hasnt progressed. maybe tell people that you are taking a break in between jobs or something. that will get them off your back for a while and they probably wont try to get more information out of you from that.
 
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thelizardqueen

New member
Thanks Kylie. I absolutly hate when people ask me right off the bat - oh so what do you do for a living? Its like they think that a career defines who you are, and if you don't work - they think oh what a loser, why wouldn't you work. I just don't want to scare anyone off by saying right off the bat - oh I'm not working because I'm dealing with issues. I would think they would then press you to find out what those "issues" are.
 
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kybert

New member
even a doctor found it oh so horrifying that i wasnt working. he gave me absolute hell for it. he said that being jobless was the cause of my fatigue problem because joblessness should make me feel depressed. what a loser! i happen to like taking it easy. some people treat you like absolute scum if you dont work. unless you seriously do nothing all day, we techincally do work. we just dont get any money or recognition for it!
 
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CowTown

New member
Tough spot, but I think I would say that I'm between jobs. But that would probablt lead them to ask for what line of work and after a few months you would have to start explaining why you're finding anything or even looking for that matter. So maybe a better option would be to offer up half the truth. Maybe say, I'm unemployed and looking into my next step. I'm a little biased about that in that maybe it's not all that horrible for someone to hear. That's what I heard when I met my husband - then boyfriend. He was unemployed and looking for work which didn't sound too wonderful, but I got over it really quickly since I learned more about his personality. try to remember that if someone doesn't like the situation enough to stop seeing you, then it really isn't worth your time anyways. Go for the best - someone who falls hard for who you are and sees right through all the unemployed details. Just a thought, although I can only imagine how tough it would be to say that and wait and see what he does. I used to always feel super anxiety just over spilling the beans about CF. If they go, then so be it.

Good luck and of course keep us posted when you start having dating stories to share! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 
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IG

Guest
Personally I wouldn't lie, if you start out and meet somebody and you say that and then decide things probably won't work out and break up.. who knows when you might run into them again or what influences they might have on your future.
I wouldn't exactly tell the straight out truth at the moment either.
Like others have suggested 'in between jobs' 'new career' and 'trying to decide what to do with my life' is a wonderful option.
If a relationship happens to gel then the CF/assistance isn't quite so difficult to explain.
Rule: Don't burn your bridges, and don't bite the hand that could quite possibly feed you (very expensive foods).
 
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thefrogprincess

New member
You could always go with "starving artist". Hehehe. But seriously, you can be honest and vague at the same time. A lot of people have to take time off because of an injury. If it is a temporary situation I would say so, let them assumme what they will.
 
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onlyoneloveinmylife

New member
i just tell people i don't work, if they ask why i say because i
can't cause of health reasons. i don't explain any more unless i
feel they deserve to know everything.<br>
i just go with my gut on when to tell them the whole story.
 
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anonymous

New member
Why not get a small job? I think you could handle it. Find out how much you can make and still get your benefits. Even if it's just a few hours a week at a coffee shop. I think getting out and being with people would really be good for your situation. I hope you don't take offense to this Liz. I've never heard the reason why you don't work. I know you deal with a lot... CF lung disease, CFRD and anxiety but I think you would make a great employee.

LouLou
 
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Ratatosk

Administrator
Staff member
You could say you got laid off from your last job.

You could tell them I used to be a (insert job title), but you decided that line of work wasn't for you, so you're either trying to figure out "what you want to be when you grow up" or you're thinking about gong back to school. You could even add that meanwhile you're working as a temp.

On a side note, when I have to go to events for work and don't know anybody, I guess I usually try to start the conversation with "what do you do for a living". Guess I'll have to find a new conversation starter...
 
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EnergyGal

New member
Hi Liz

I think it all depends on when they ask you and how you feel about them. If you are meeting people face to face you can answer them and say something like, "I have a job with very important health demands" this way you are not lyinng and if you like them enough later on you can go into more details. If they seem very nosy then I would change the subject and put a red flag up in your mind. If they breeze over the topic that means they are more interested in getting to know you not what you do.

You can say all sorts of things but keep it vague. When you feel like you can fall for this person and it is a few dates later and you feel comfortable spill the beans in a matter of fact way. I like Amy's advice.

Keep it simple.

My stradegy was if a man wanted to do more than just talk and we were ready to take the relationship to the next level, I would introduce them to learn how to do CPT. If they had a great attitude that was my password to a future with them.

The more experience you have telling others the easier it will get.
 
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