When and how do I tell her?

[shamrock]

I don't think Seana really refers to careers when she's saying CF won't stop her daughter from doing x,y and z. I mean we ALL know some jobs like a respirologist (sp?) aren't practical.

I think she's trying to say she doesn't want CF to LIMIT Courtney's life, that she can't participate in lots of things because of the CF...

But of course she can speak for herself, I can just see how people are misinterpreting what she's saying! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

 

[shamrock]

I don't think Seana really refers to careers when she's saying CF won't stop her daughter from doing x,y and z. I mean we ALL know some jobs like a respirologist (sp?) aren't practical.

I think she's trying to say she doesn't want CF to LIMIT Courtney's life, that she can't participate in lots of things because of the CF...

But of course she can speak for herself, I can just see how people are misinterpreting what she's saying! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

 

[shamrock]

I don't think Seana really refers to careers when she's saying CF won't stop her daughter from doing x,y and z. I mean we ALL know some jobs like a respirologist (sp?) aren't practical.

I think she's trying to say she doesn't want CF to LIMIT Courtney's life, that she can't participate in lots of things because of the CF...

But of course she can speak for herself, I can just see how people are misinterpreting what she's saying! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

 

[shamrock]

I don't think Seana really refers to careers when she's saying CF won't stop her daughter from doing x,y and z. I mean we ALL know some jobs like a respirologist (sp?) aren't practical.

I think she's trying to say she doesn't want CF to LIMIT Courtney's life, that she can't participate in lots of things because of the CF...

But of course she can speak for herself, I can just see how people are misinterpreting what she's saying! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

 

[shamrock]

I don't think Seana really refers to careers when she's saying CF won't stop her daughter from doing x,y and z. I mean we ALL know some jobs like a respirologist (sp?) aren't practical.

I think she's trying to say she doesn't want CF to LIMIT Courtney's life, that she can't participate in lots of things because of the CF...

But of course she can speak for herself, I can just see how people are misinterpreting what she's saying! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

 

[lightNlife]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>CFHockeyMom</b></i>


Well, I think you do have to be reasonable. I did tell Sean he couldn't be a firefighter or join the military. I certainly didn't tell him that to hurt him but that's part of the reality of CF. I don't think it's terrible it's just the way it is.</end quote></div>

Exactly, that's the point I was making. Some things you have to be practical about. The reality is that CF is limiting. To ignore that is to risk your own health.

Too often these days parents would rather be their kids' friend or buddy, and do their best not to say something that might "hurt their kids' feelings." This is a dangerous precedent. Kids need parents who will PARENT them and make the right decisions for them on things the kids cannot yet understand about life. CF parents might take this to the -nth degree and not want to put any boundaries on their kids at all. Without healthy boundaries and reasonable restrictions, kids with CF (and truly, any kids) may be more prone to risk taking behavior (promiscuity, drugs, smoking, skipping class, etc.)

In my home, CF was used as a stepping stone to teach me how to be a more responsible adult. I was able to use the principles my parents taught me to develop strong character and a reasonable expectation of my limitations and capabilities. Though I wish I could have learned that lesson w/o CF, I'm seeing how it was an advantage to me. If I didn't have good parents who were willing to step in and say "no, I care about you too much to let you do x,y,z because I don't think it's a wise decision" then I wouldn't be here today

 

[lightNlife]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>CFHockeyMom</b></i>


Well, I think you do have to be reasonable. I did tell Sean he couldn't be a firefighter or join the military. I certainly didn't tell him that to hurt him but that's part of the reality of CF. I don't think it's terrible it's just the way it is.</end quote></div>

Exactly, that's the point I was making. Some things you have to be practical about. The reality is that CF is limiting. To ignore that is to risk your own health.

Too often these days parents would rather be their kids' friend or buddy, and do their best not to say something that might "hurt their kids' feelings." This is a dangerous precedent. Kids need parents who will PARENT them and make the right decisions for them on things the kids cannot yet understand about life. CF parents might take this to the -nth degree and not want to put any boundaries on their kids at all. Without healthy boundaries and reasonable restrictions, kids with CF (and truly, any kids) may be more prone to risk taking behavior (promiscuity, drugs, smoking, skipping class, etc.)

In my home, CF was used as a stepping stone to teach me how to be a more responsible adult. I was able to use the principles my parents taught me to develop strong character and a reasonable expectation of my limitations and capabilities. Though I wish I could have learned that lesson w/o CF, I'm seeing how it was an advantage to me. If I didn't have good parents who were willing to step in and say "no, I care about you too much to let you do x,y,z because I don't think it's a wise decision" then I wouldn't be here today

 

[lightNlife]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>CFHockeyMom</b></i>


Well, I think you do have to be reasonable. I did tell Sean he couldn't be a firefighter or join the military. I certainly didn't tell him that to hurt him but that's part of the reality of CF. I don't think it's terrible it's just the way it is.</end quote></div>

Exactly, that's the point I was making. Some things you have to be practical about. The reality is that CF is limiting. To ignore that is to risk your own health.

Too often these days parents would rather be their kids' friend or buddy, and do their best not to say something that might "hurt their kids' feelings." This is a dangerous precedent. Kids need parents who will PARENT them and make the right decisions for them on things the kids cannot yet understand about life. CF parents might take this to the -nth degree and not want to put any boundaries on their kids at all. Without healthy boundaries and reasonable restrictions, kids with CF (and truly, any kids) may be more prone to risk taking behavior (promiscuity, drugs, smoking, skipping class, etc.)

In my home, CF was used as a stepping stone to teach me how to be a more responsible adult. I was able to use the principles my parents taught me to develop strong character and a reasonable expectation of my limitations and capabilities. Though I wish I could have learned that lesson w/o CF, I'm seeing how it was an advantage to me. If I didn't have good parents who were willing to step in and say "no, I care about you too much to let you do x,y,z because I don't think it's a wise decision" then I wouldn't be here today

 

[lightNlife]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>CFHockeyMom</b></i>


Well, I think you do have to be reasonable. I did tell Sean he couldn't be a firefighter or join the military. I certainly didn't tell him that to hurt him but that's part of the reality of CF. I don't think it's terrible it's just the way it is.</end quote>

Exactly, that's the point I was making. Some things you have to be practical about. The reality is that CF is limiting. To ignore that is to risk your own health.

Too often these days parents would rather be their kids' friend or buddy, and do their best not to say something that might "hurt their kids' feelings." This is a dangerous precedent. Kids need parents who will PARENT them and make the right decisions for them on things the kids cannot yet understand about life. CF parents might take this to the -nth degree and not want to put any boundaries on their kids at all. Without healthy boundaries and reasonable restrictions, kids with CF (and truly, any kids) may be more prone to risk taking behavior (promiscuity, drugs, smoking, skipping class, etc.)

In my home, CF was used as a stepping stone to teach me how to be a more responsible adult. I was able to use the principles my parents taught me to develop strong character and a reasonable expectation of my limitations and capabilities. Though I wish I could have learned that lesson w/o CF, I'm seeing how it was an advantage to me. If I didn't have good parents who were willing to step in and say "no, I care about you too much to let you do x,y,z because I don't think it's a wise decision" then I wouldn't be here today

 

[lightNlife]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>CFHockeyMom</b></i>


Well, I think you do have to be reasonable. I did tell Sean he couldn't be a firefighter or join the military. I certainly didn't tell him that to hurt him but that's part of the reality of CF. I don't think it's terrible it's just the way it is.</end quote>

Exactly, that's the point I was making. Some things you have to be practical about. The reality is that CF is limiting. To ignore that is to risk your own health.

Too often these days parents would rather be their kids' friend or buddy, and do their best not to say something that might "hurt their kids' feelings." This is a dangerous precedent. Kids need parents who will PARENT them and make the right decisions for them on things the kids cannot yet understand about life. CF parents might take this to the -nth degree and not want to put any boundaries on their kids at all. Without healthy boundaries and reasonable restrictions, kids with CF (and truly, any kids) may be more prone to risk taking behavior (promiscuity, drugs, smoking, skipping class, etc.)

In my home, CF was used as a stepping stone to teach me how to be a more responsible adult. I was able to use the principles my parents taught me to develop strong character and a reasonable expectation of my limitations and capabilities. Though I wish I could have learned that lesson w/o CF, I'm seeing how it was an advantage to me. If I didn't have good parents who were willing to step in and say "no, I care about you too much to let you do x,y,z because I don't think it's a wise decision" then I wouldn't be here today

 

[JazzysMom]

The way I am taking things is that Seana doesnt want to limit Courtney by saying "you have CF so dont bother trying certain things".


IMHO she is trying to say "TRY for anything, but know that CF & life in general might not allow you to always get what you want ~~ yet without TRYING (whether it be contacting the military to be told at the physical....sorry no way OR finding out that working with children takes a toll on your health) you will never know for sure what you can achieve.

To set a limit soley on having CF is stifling. At least let her try and educate her about the possibilities both negative/positive then let the chips fall where they will.

IMHO (again) I think the one thing that is worse then dying younger then others is regretting not having tried something.......

 

[JazzysMom]

The way I am taking things is that Seana doesnt want to limit Courtney by saying "you have CF so dont bother trying certain things".


IMHO she is trying to say "TRY for anything, but know that CF & life in general might not allow you to always get what you want ~~ yet without TRYING (whether it be contacting the military to be told at the physical....sorry no way OR finding out that working with children takes a toll on your health) you will never know for sure what you can achieve.

To set a limit soley on having CF is stifling. At least let her try and educate her about the possibilities both negative/positive then let the chips fall where they will.

IMHO (again) I think the one thing that is worse then dying younger then others is regretting not having tried something.......

 

[JazzysMom]

The way I am taking things is that Seana doesnt want to limit Courtney by saying "you have CF so dont bother trying certain things".


IMHO she is trying to say "TRY for anything, but know that CF & life in general might not allow you to always get what you want ~~ yet without TRYING (whether it be contacting the military to be told at the physical....sorry no way OR finding out that working with children takes a toll on your health) you will never know for sure what you can achieve.

To set a limit soley on having CF is stifling. At least let her try and educate her about the possibilities both negative/positive then let the chips fall where they will.

IMHO (again) I think the one thing that is worse then dying younger then others is regretting not having tried something.......

 

[JazzysMom]

The way I am taking things is that Seana doesnt want to limit Courtney by saying "you have CF so dont bother trying certain things".


IMHO she is trying to say "TRY for anything, but know that CF & life in general might not allow you to always get what you want ~~ yet without TRYING (whether it be contacting the military to be told at the physical....sorry no way OR finding out that working with children takes a toll on your health) you will never know for sure what you can achieve.

To set a limit soley on having CF is stifling. At least let her try and educate her about the possibilities both negative/positive then let the chips fall where they will.

IMHO (again) I think the one thing that is worse then dying younger then others is regretting not having tried something.......

 

[JazzysMom]

The way I am taking things is that Seana doesnt want to limit Courtney by saying "you have CF so dont bother trying certain things".


IMHO she is trying to say "TRY for anything, but know that CF & life in general might not allow you to always get what you want ~~ yet without TRYING (whether it be contacting the military to be told at the physical....sorry no way OR finding out that working with children takes a toll on your health) you will never know for sure what you can achieve.

To set a limit soley on having CF is stifling. At least let her try and educate her about the possibilities both negative/positive then let the chips fall where they will.

IMHO (again) I think the one thing that is worse then dying younger then others is regretting not having tried something.......

 

[Seana30]

Thank you Melissa!! That is EXACTLY what I am saying!



Courtney has rules, chores, made to do her homework, and is treated just like the other kids in the family.

I am by NO means my childrens "friend". I am their parent and I am here to teach them what life is all about and raise them to be productive adults.

When Courtney goes to the movies or out with friends she knows there are rules. She also knows if she ever decides to try to break those rules there are major consequences.

The one thing I will NEVER do is tell her she has limits in life! She CAN do whatever she wants in life!

Look at all the CFers here that have run marathons, climbed mountains, run their own businesses, etc. Could you imagine if their parents had told them because of their illnesses they have limits??

I REFUSE to sit Courtney down and tell her "you have CF so you are limited in your life". NO WAY.

You keep bringing up smoking, drinking, drugs, etc. As a responible parent I have been talking to all of my children about these issues for years now. My kids know that these things can damage the body and cause bad judgement.


QUOTE BY LIGHTNLIFE
<b>In my home, CF was used as a stepping stone to teach me how to be a more responsible adult. I was able to use the principles my parents taught me to develop strong character and a reasonable expectation of my limitations and capabilities.</b>

In my home CF is not the only reason to teach principles and character. My children are taught this because it is the right thing to do, NOT because of CF.

Seana

 

[Seana30]

Thank you Melissa!! That is EXACTLY what I am saying!



Courtney has rules, chores, made to do her homework, and is treated just like the other kids in the family.

I am by NO means my childrens "friend". I am their parent and I am here to teach them what life is all about and raise them to be productive adults.

When Courtney goes to the movies or out with friends she knows there are rules. She also knows if she ever decides to try to break those rules there are major consequences.

The one thing I will NEVER do is tell her she has limits in life! She CAN do whatever she wants in life!

Look at all the CFers here that have run marathons, climbed mountains, run their own businesses, etc. Could you imagine if their parents had told them because of their illnesses they have limits??

I REFUSE to sit Courtney down and tell her "you have CF so you are limited in your life". NO WAY.

You keep bringing up smoking, drinking, drugs, etc. As a responible parent I have been talking to all of my children about these issues for years now. My kids know that these things can damage the body and cause bad judgement.


QUOTE BY LIGHTNLIFE
<b>In my home, CF was used as a stepping stone to teach me how to be a more responsible adult. I was able to use the principles my parents taught me to develop strong character and a reasonable expectation of my limitations and capabilities.</b>

In my home CF is not the only reason to teach principles and character. My children are taught this because it is the right thing to do, NOT because of CF.

Seana

 

[Seana30]

Thank you Melissa!! That is EXACTLY what I am saying!



Courtney has rules, chores, made to do her homework, and is treated just like the other kids in the family.

I am by NO means my childrens "friend". I am their parent and I am here to teach them what life is all about and raise them to be productive adults.

When Courtney goes to the movies or out with friends she knows there are rules. She also knows if she ever decides to try to break those rules there are major consequences.

The one thing I will NEVER do is tell her she has limits in life! She CAN do whatever she wants in life!

Look at all the CFers here that have run marathons, climbed mountains, run their own businesses, etc. Could you imagine if their parents had told them because of their illnesses they have limits??

I REFUSE to sit Courtney down and tell her "you have CF so you are limited in your life". NO WAY.

You keep bringing up smoking, drinking, drugs, etc. As a responible parent I have been talking to all of my children about these issues for years now. My kids know that these things can damage the body and cause bad judgement.


QUOTE BY LIGHTNLIFE
<b>In my home, CF was used as a stepping stone to teach me how to be a more responsible adult. I was able to use the principles my parents taught me to develop strong character and a reasonable expectation of my limitations and capabilities.</b>

In my home CF is not the only reason to teach principles and character. My children are taught this because it is the right thing to do, NOT because of CF.

Seana

 

[Seana30]

Thank you Melissa!! That is EXACTLY what I am saying!



Courtney has rules, chores, made to do her homework, and is treated just like the other kids in the family.

I am by NO means my childrens "friend". I am their parent and I am here to teach them what life is all about and raise them to be productive adults.

When Courtney goes to the movies or out with friends she knows there are rules. She also knows if she ever decides to try to break those rules there are major consequences.

The one thing I will NEVER do is tell her she has limits in life! She CAN do whatever she wants in life!

Look at all the CFers here that have run marathons, climbed mountains, run their own businesses, etc. Could you imagine if their parents had told them because of their illnesses they have limits??

I REFUSE to sit Courtney down and tell her "you have CF so you are limited in your life". NO WAY.

You keep bringing up smoking, drinking, drugs, etc. As a responible parent I have been talking to all of my children about these issues for years now. My kids know that these things can damage the body and cause bad judgement.


QUOTE BY LIGHTNLIFE
<b>In my home, CF was used as a stepping stone to teach me how to be a more responsible adult. I was able to use the principles my parents taught me to develop strong character and a reasonable expectation of my limitations and capabilities.</b>

In my home CF is not the only reason to teach principles and character. My children are taught this because it is the right thing to do, NOT because of CF.

Seana

 

[Seana30]

Thank you Melissa!! That is EXACTLY what I am saying!



Courtney has rules, chores, made to do her homework, and is treated just like the other kids in the family.

I am by NO means my childrens "friend". I am their parent and I am here to teach them what life is all about and raise them to be productive adults.

When Courtney goes to the movies or out with friends she knows there are rules. She also knows if she ever decides to try to break those rules there are major consequences.

The one thing I will NEVER do is tell her she has limits in life! She CAN do whatever she wants in life!

Look at all the CFers here that have run marathons, climbed mountains, run their own businesses, etc. Could you imagine if their parents had told them because of their illnesses they have limits??

I REFUSE to sit Courtney down and tell her "you have CF so you are limited in your life". NO WAY.

You keep bringing up smoking, drinking, drugs, etc. As a responible parent I have been talking to all of my children about these issues for years now. My kids know that these things can damage the body and cause bad judgement.


QUOTE BY LIGHTNLIFE
<b>In my home, CF was used as a stepping stone to teach me how to be a more responsible adult. I was able to use the principles my parents taught me to develop strong character and a reasonable expectation of my limitations and capabilities.</b>

In my home CF is not the only reason to teach principles and character. My children are taught this because it is the right thing to do, NOT because of CF.

Seana