Brandi, just a word of warning, but based on how things have gone on this board, I'd be careful or you could end up banned. (And, NO I am not advocating banning you, on the contrary just trying to remind you that there are people who will request it and if the administrator thinks you're a nuisance, he/she could ban you). Also, please don't take it the wrong way, but jumping into an argument that you weren't originally part of is not the wisest thing to do and can also help contribute to the argument. (As can this post,, I won't post again just wanted to give you a friendly warning.)
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working mom of a cf child
- Thread starter anonymous
- Start date
CgNBgEqualsCgNLg
New member
awe oh well thanks for your concern
NoDayButToday
New member
Amy, there is NOT always a way to stay home. The alternative to having my mother (a single parent) working was for us to live on the street because we would have had no income. My mom returned to work when I was 2 (when my parents were divorced) and from then until kindergarten I had full time nannies. From kindergarten on I had a combination of part time nannies (from our local college, usually child development/education majors) and afterschool programs.
In a perfect world, my mom would have been with me 24/7. But even though I had nannies, I consider myself to be raised by my mother, and was raised 'properly' by her. I was also raised in part, by the wonderful people who were my nannies, who instilled the same values and beliefs in me that my mother believed in. I still stay in touch with them today.
Whether or not you believe so, raising a child is always a collaborative effort between the people who love the child, whether they be parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, family friends, or nannies. The afterschool programs I participated in helped me find my interests and learn in a great environment.
Maria is right, being a single parent of a CF child makes a woman (or man) very strong. My mom has gone it alone for almost 14 years, and at some times it has been harder than anyone could imagine. She has always been my rock though. She has always been there for me, despite being at work during the 9 to 5 hours of the day. She may work, but she is my mommy first.
In a perfect world, my mom would have been with me 24/7. But even though I had nannies, I consider myself to be raised by my mother, and was raised 'properly' by her. I was also raised in part, by the wonderful people who were my nannies, who instilled the same values and beliefs in me that my mother believed in. I still stay in touch with them today.
Whether or not you believe so, raising a child is always a collaborative effort between the people who love the child, whether they be parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, family friends, or nannies. The afterschool programs I participated in helped me find my interests and learn in a great environment.
Maria is right, being a single parent of a CF child makes a woman (or man) very strong. My mom has gone it alone for almost 14 years, and at some times it has been harder than anyone could imagine. She has always been my rock though. She has always been there for me, despite being at work during the 9 to 5 hours of the day. She may work, but she is my mommy first.
Emily65Roses
New member
What if your job isn't possible to do at night? Like if you teach elementary school, you can't very well teach at 2am.
Amy
Good gosh, you really don't have a leg to stand on with this topic & you are going to tick off many working parents with your comments. Many times both parents must work to support the family & many times their work can only be done during the day. Look at your own job.....you couldn't do your sales in the middle of the night.
Daycare is not necessarily bad. Sure, kids love to be home with their mom, but they also love to be around other kids. I really don't see how putting a child in daycare is something that a parent should feel bad about.
We have adopted a special needs toddler who will be going to a daycare (preschool) in another year. We are in the process of adopting a second toddler (with CF) who will also go into preschool when she is old enough. I don't feel bad about our decision.
You are entitled to your opinion, but wowza, I think you are out of touch with reality on this one.
Daria.
Good gosh, you really don't have a leg to stand on with this topic & you are going to tick off many working parents with your comments. Many times both parents must work to support the family & many times their work can only be done during the day. Look at your own job.....you couldn't do your sales in the middle of the night.
Daycare is not necessarily bad. Sure, kids love to be home with their mom, but they also love to be around other kids. I really don't see how putting a child in daycare is something that a parent should feel bad about.
We have adopted a special needs toddler who will be going to a daycare (preschool) in another year. We are in the process of adopting a second toddler (with CF) who will also go into preschool when she is old enough. I don't feel bad about our decision.
You are entitled to your opinion, but wowza, I think you are out of touch with reality on this one.
Daria.
I am absolutely appalled by Amy's ignorant, self-rightous, and immature attitude. I am the mother of a kid w/CF, I was fortunate to not have to work the first year of my sons life and I have been taking him to work with me for the past four years (I teach art at a preschool). But like I said "I was fortunate", most single mothers of CF kids are not. They don't have a choice, they have to pay the bills somehow. Yes, daycare costs money and so does working--but what do you know about their individual budgets. I know that working moms have sat down and gone over every single financial option that will work best for them and their kids, and it almost always is more cost effective to work. In addition, insurance benefits from their employer are vital to keeping their children healthy. You should be well aware that CF drugs are expensive and even a momentary lapse without health insurance can make it impossible for someone with CF to get coverage in the future.
There are only a limited number of jobs that offer overnight shifts, and they usually don't pay very good. Hiring an overnight nanny is often just as expensive as daycare. And if the mother worked all night how is she supposed to raise the kids in the daytime without getting any sleep for herself? Any kid in the world would rather spend quality time with their mom, even for a few minutes, than spend all day with a mom who is cranky, and suffering from sleep loss!!
In a perfect world, "there's always a way" might actually work. But, Amy--this is not the perfect world you have created in your narrow, 'holier then thou' mind. I praise the moms who are working and raising their kids---they are strong and deserve to be respected.
There are only a limited number of jobs that offer overnight shifts, and they usually don't pay very good. Hiring an overnight nanny is often just as expensive as daycare. And if the mother worked all night how is she supposed to raise the kids in the daytime without getting any sleep for herself? Any kid in the world would rather spend quality time with their mom, even for a few minutes, than spend all day with a mom who is cranky, and suffering from sleep loss!!
In a perfect world, "there's always a way" might actually work. But, Amy--this is not the perfect world you have created in your narrow, 'holier then thou' mind. I praise the moms who are working and raising their kids---they are strong and deserve to be respected.
CgNBgEqualsCgNLg
New member
why do you guys keep harping on her? you did the same thing to me...maybe she ment it a differant way and your all taking it wrong..its hard to express feelings over the internet...remember that...
There is no way that anyone is misunderstanding Amy. She is making herself perfectly clear. She has obviously lived quite a charmed live, and has no idea about what goes on in other people's lives. I too have been blessed with a very sheltered and charmed life, but I'm not so closedminded to say that there is always a way for moms to stay home.
I am appalled by her suggestion that single moms should stay home during the day and work at night...what??? b/c not sleeping or getting very little sleep makes a great mom!
I feel so lucky that my mom was able to stay at home and raise me, and I would love to be able to do that when I have kids. In my opinion, it is the best way to raise kids. BUT I am not so shallow and closed minded and naive to think that this is an option for everyone. I have a lot of respect for moms, especially single moms that work and raise their kids. My fiance was raised by his working mother, and he turned out GREAT.
Sorry, but closed minded people really make me mad. I'd love for Amy to have to spend a week in someone else's shoes.
I am appalled by her suggestion that single moms should stay home during the day and work at night...what??? b/c not sleeping or getting very little sleep makes a great mom!
I feel so lucky that my mom was able to stay at home and raise me, and I would love to be able to do that when I have kids. In my opinion, it is the best way to raise kids. BUT I am not so shallow and closed minded and naive to think that this is an option for everyone. I have a lot of respect for moms, especially single moms that work and raise their kids. My fiance was raised by his working mother, and he turned out GREAT.
Sorry, but closed minded people really make me mad. I'd love for Amy to have to spend a week in someone else's shoes.
NoDayButToday
New member
Brandi- You know you're my pal, but please, stay out of this one. I never thought attacking you was really 'justified' but when Amy is telling me that my mother is a bad parent, I have a right to set her straight. I also think she expressed herself very clearly despite being over the internet.
Amy-
Raising me alone was not my mother's plan when I was born. When my parents got divorced however, that became the reality. Should she have given me away because she was no longer going to raise me as a stay at home mom? Living situations change, Amy, and other things have to change too. My mom did not have a job she could have worked at night; even if she did, how many nannies want to come over and stay overnight? That's hard to find unless you get a live-in, who usually equal more expenses. That argument about working nights is actually pretty weak altogether- do these single mothers miraculously never sleep?
Your other statements about the cost of working are ridiculous. Yes, working has its cost (train tickets, subway tokens, childcare), but without an INCOME you can't pay any costs, including those that exist whether your work ot not (like say, food, rent, meds, electricity). In terms of 'work clothes', stay at home parents do not walk around naked as far as I know.
Jenny's right, clearly you have led a very charmed life. You're lucky then, not everyone has had such a life. I'm not a typical suburban kid who is promised a car on my 16th birthday. I don't know how we are going to pay for my college. Our insurance copays eat up quite a bit of my mom's salary (and she has a good job). We have had our trying times. Despite these challenges, I don't wish for a single moment that my mom had stayed with my father.
My mom and I have been a team for as long as I can remember, she is my hero for everything she has done, she has made me who I am (a good person, I'd like to think), and been a rock for me my whole life. She has been there to hold my hand every single procedure I've had, needle I've endured, appointment I've been on. She has never left me one night alone in the hospital.
Don't act like she is a worthless mother because she works. I wouldn't trade her for a nonworking parent any day of my life. How DARE you act like she is less of a mother because she works. She would be a worse parent if she didn't.
OH PS: Jenny's right. Try walking in any single parent's shoes for a week, see how it is. You'd be very surprised, and I hope, would see just how strong and great a mother my mom is.
Amy-
Raising me alone was not my mother's plan when I was born. When my parents got divorced however, that became the reality. Should she have given me away because she was no longer going to raise me as a stay at home mom? Living situations change, Amy, and other things have to change too. My mom did not have a job she could have worked at night; even if she did, how many nannies want to come over and stay overnight? That's hard to find unless you get a live-in, who usually equal more expenses. That argument about working nights is actually pretty weak altogether- do these single mothers miraculously never sleep?
Your other statements about the cost of working are ridiculous. Yes, working has its cost (train tickets, subway tokens, childcare), but without an INCOME you can't pay any costs, including those that exist whether your work ot not (like say, food, rent, meds, electricity). In terms of 'work clothes', stay at home parents do not walk around naked as far as I know.
Jenny's right, clearly you have led a very charmed life. You're lucky then, not everyone has had such a life. I'm not a typical suburban kid who is promised a car on my 16th birthday. I don't know how we are going to pay for my college. Our insurance copays eat up quite a bit of my mom's salary (and she has a good job). We have had our trying times. Despite these challenges, I don't wish for a single moment that my mom had stayed with my father.
My mom and I have been a team for as long as I can remember, she is my hero for everything she has done, she has made me who I am (a good person, I'd like to think), and been a rock for me my whole life. She has been there to hold my hand every single procedure I've had, needle I've endured, appointment I've been on. She has never left me one night alone in the hospital.
Don't act like she is a worthless mother because she works. I wouldn't trade her for a nonworking parent any day of my life. How DARE you act like she is less of a mother because she works. She would be a worse parent if she didn't.
OH PS: Jenny's right. Try walking in any single parent's shoes for a week, see how it is. You'd be very surprised, and I hope, would see just how strong and great a mother my mom is.
Recently the National Institutes of Health did a huge study of children's experiences in child care versus with a parent at home. You can see the results at <a target=new class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.nichd.nih.gov/new/releases/daycar99.cfm.">http://www.nichd.nih.gov/new/releases/daycar99.cfm.</a> I'll quote a little:
In 1991, the NICHD study of early child care enrolled more than 1,300 families and their children from 10 locations throughout the United States. The children, who were less than one month old at the time they were enrolled in the study, have been followed through their first grade year.
Dr. Deborah Lowe Vandell will report that such factors as a family's income, mothers' psychological well-being, and maternal behavior have more of an influence on children's social competence at 2 and 3 years of age than does the children's day care arrangement. However, quality child care was related to children displaying greater social competence and cooperation and less problem behavior at 2 and 3 years of age. Also, more experiences in groups with other children predicted more cooperation with other children and fewer problem behaviors at both 2 and 3 years of age.
Dr. Margaret Tresch Owen will report that child care experience has no discernible influence on the security of children's attachments to their mothers by age 3.
Dr. Alison Clarke-Stewart will report that parents have an important influence on children's development regardless of how much child care their children experience.
Comparisons between children in child care and those experiencing exclusive care from their mothers tell us little until we consider the quality of care. High quality child care offers an advantage to children and low quality care a disadvantage for cognitive and language development compared to care from the average mother.
In 1991, the NICHD study of early child care enrolled more than 1,300 families and their children from 10 locations throughout the United States. The children, who were less than one month old at the time they were enrolled in the study, have been followed through their first grade year.
Dr. Deborah Lowe Vandell will report that such factors as a family's income, mothers' psychological well-being, and maternal behavior have more of an influence on children's social competence at 2 and 3 years of age than does the children's day care arrangement. However, quality child care was related to children displaying greater social competence and cooperation and less problem behavior at 2 and 3 years of age. Also, more experiences in groups with other children predicted more cooperation with other children and fewer problem behaviors at both 2 and 3 years of age.
Dr. Margaret Tresch Owen will report that child care experience has no discernible influence on the security of children's attachments to their mothers by age 3.
Dr. Alison Clarke-Stewart will report that parents have an important influence on children's development regardless of how much child care their children experience.
Comparisons between children in child care and those experiencing exclusive care from their mothers tell us little until we consider the quality of care. High quality child care offers an advantage to children and low quality care a disadvantage for cognitive and language development compared to care from the average mother.
Hi Shandy, I recently sent you this e-mail but I am not sure whether you recieved it or not as I recieved a postmaster
e-mail informing me of a delay in sending the e-mail. I have decided to post it on the forum and am happy to hear from anyone that can answer my Q"s. Thanks Sally
Hi Shandy,
Ive just finished reading the forum notes and have taken you up on the offer of e-mailing you.
As stated I am a student and would appreciate any information you can give me.
From my understanding reading all the posts. Colds and flu viruses seem to be the most detrimental to children with CF. Is this the major cause of worry with children?
When they are well do CF kids have any limitations with energy etc. compared to kids the same age without CF?
What sort of therapy do you use for Kaelie? And is treatment once daily or performed several times?
Are there signs and symptoms that care givers need to be aware of? and does treatment need to be immediate?
Sorry for all the Q"s, but I havnt been able to talk to anyone with this experience.
Obviously Kaelies care givers would be aware of her condition, how does the daycare center manage Kaelies CF?
I better leave it at that for the moment Shandy, I really look forward to hearing from you.
Thanks very much, Sally
e-mail informing me of a delay in sending the e-mail. I have decided to post it on the forum and am happy to hear from anyone that can answer my Q"s. Thanks Sally
Hi Shandy,
Ive just finished reading the forum notes and have taken you up on the offer of e-mailing you.
As stated I am a student and would appreciate any information you can give me.
From my understanding reading all the posts. Colds and flu viruses seem to be the most detrimental to children with CF. Is this the major cause of worry with children?
When they are well do CF kids have any limitations with energy etc. compared to kids the same age without CF?
What sort of therapy do you use for Kaelie? And is treatment once daily or performed several times?
Are there signs and symptoms that care givers need to be aware of? and does treatment need to be immediate?
Sorry for all the Q"s, but I havnt been able to talk to anyone with this experience.
Obviously Kaelies care givers would be aware of her condition, how does the daycare center manage Kaelies CF?
I better leave it at that for the moment Shandy, I really look forward to hearing from you.
Thanks very much, Sally
Emily65Roses
New member
I'm not Shandy, but I figured I'd respond a little bit. Cold and flu viruses really aren't the biggest worry. The thing we worry about most is pseudomonas. It's a bacteria that is nearly everywhere, and unless you have a supressed immune system, it shouldn't harm you. But CFers tend to culture it regularly and it's nearly impossible to get rid of. This is what usually tends to kill us. And unless a CF child has a really mild case, even when we're "well" (by CF standards... we're never well by healthy standards), we still have limitations. Our body uses more energy to do everything, even breathe when sitting still, so we tend to have less of it. We also tend to need more sleep, etc.
sallybyrnes
New member
Thanks for your response Emily,
Would you mind letting me know your age?
Are you at school? Do you take daily medication, and does the severity of CF affect people differently?
What sort of treatment do tou use, and how often?
Thanks Sally
Would you mind letting me know your age?
Are you at school? Do you take daily medication, and does the severity of CF affect people differently?
What sort of treatment do tou use, and how often?
Thanks Sally
Emily65Roses
New member
The severity of CF affects everyone differently. All of us are so incredibly different. Some die in their first years, some die in their teens, some die in their 20s, some in their 30s. Some have mild cases and live to be 50, 60, 70. Some have mild stomach problems and severe lung problems. Some have mild lung and severe stomach. Some have mild both, or severe both.
You're welcome to ask me anything you like. My age is in my signature, I'm 21. I'm at school, yes. I go to college in Boston, Mass. I go home almost every weekend, but I live up here in a studio apartment during the week. I take several medications. I should be taking Ultrase MT18s (pancreatic enzymes), though I don't. I also take anti-depressants, sleeping pills, Zithromax 3 times a week (an antibiotic for helping to prevent pseudomonas problems). On top of that I take two over the counter medications to counteract the antibiotics in reference to the yeast infection problems they tend to bring about. In other words, being on antibiotics often or indefinitely causes yeast infections... so since I've been on Zithro since Dec of 02, I also take AZO yeast and acidophilus to help try to keep yeast infections at bay. I also take Pulmozyme inhaled once daily. Depending on how I feel, I have my boyfriend hit my back to try and help me cough up the crap. Otherwise, I get some therapy done walking to and from class here in Boston. I also was unaware of this fact until people started taking about it on the board, but I do breathing techniques to help myself cough up crap too. If I can feel there's stuff in there in my way, I'll make myself start coughing to try and get rid of it. I also use IV meds, but that's only about two or three times a year. They last, like any other antibiotic, for about two weeks.
If you have any other questions, ask away. <img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">
You're welcome to ask me anything you like. My age is in my signature, I'm 21. I'm at school, yes. I go to college in Boston, Mass. I go home almost every weekend, but I live up here in a studio apartment during the week. I take several medications. I should be taking Ultrase MT18s (pancreatic enzymes), though I don't. I also take anti-depressants, sleeping pills, Zithromax 3 times a week (an antibiotic for helping to prevent pseudomonas problems). On top of that I take two over the counter medications to counteract the antibiotics in reference to the yeast infection problems they tend to bring about. In other words, being on antibiotics often or indefinitely causes yeast infections... so since I've been on Zithro since Dec of 02, I also take AZO yeast and acidophilus to help try to keep yeast infections at bay. I also take Pulmozyme inhaled once daily. Depending on how I feel, I have my boyfriend hit my back to try and help me cough up the crap. Otherwise, I get some therapy done walking to and from class here in Boston. I also was unaware of this fact until people started taking about it on the board, but I do breathing techniques to help myself cough up crap too. If I can feel there's stuff in there in my way, I'll make myself start coughing to try and get rid of it. I also use IV meds, but that's only about two or three times a year. They last, like any other antibiotic, for about two weeks.
If you have any other questions, ask away. <img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">
sallybyrnes
New member
Wow Emily, thats HUGE.
I was just reading some ealier posts and you said that you also went to daycare when you were younger, can you remember your care givers having to give you any treatment while in their care or would your parents have given you treatment at home and was that enough to get you through your day? I realise you live with CF continously but can you get sick at the drop of a hat or is it progressive and you have time to treat?
Thanks Emily, Sally
I was just reading some ealier posts and you said that you also went to daycare when you were younger, can you remember your care givers having to give you any treatment while in their care or would your parents have given you treatment at home and was that enough to get you through your day? I realise you live with CF continously but can you get sick at the drop of a hat or is it progressive and you have time to treat?
Thanks Emily, Sally
Emily65Roses
New member
When I was younger I didn't have nearly as much lung trouble. I had more digestive, so in daycare and what have you, the only main thing they needed to do for me (other than ignore my cough), was to make sure I took enzymes before I ate anything. Given that enzymes need to be taken right around the time we eat, my mom couldn't give me some and have that be it for the day. I had to be given enzymes while I was out at nursery school and such.
The getting sick question is a tough one for me now, but I'll try. For the last few years, I've been sicker. It's hard for me to explain, because until I was 16, I wasn't culturing anything serious or pseudomonas regularly. When I was 16, I cultured MRSA, and then shortly thereafter, I started culturing several strains of pseudomonas all the time. So in the past few years, I'm kind of always sick. I realize I get sicker from time to time. But in comparison to what I was used to, I feel like I'm sick all the time now. I'm starting to learn my new "baseline" so to speak. I sound pretty sick, and I feel crappy, but I think that's just where I am now, and not something new growing that they can beat down. I'm kind of stuck with it. Either way, both can happen. The MRSA kind of snuck up on me and all of a sudden I felt like crap and my lung health went way downhill. But often, it's also progressive. For instance, now when I go on IV meds, when I get off, I slowly start to get sick again. I usually have a few weeks to a month of feeling "better" and then it starts to go downhill. At first it's not that bad, just a little more coughing. Then as weeks and months pass, it all comes back to where it was before the last round of IV meds. In theory I imagine we could treat it before it goes all the way back... but given the fact that usually it starts getting bad again only a few weeks after IV meds, it doesn't make much sense. So I'm kind of always sick, and go on IV meds a few times a year just to keep it from getting worse, I suppose.
The getting sick question is a tough one for me now, but I'll try. For the last few years, I've been sicker. It's hard for me to explain, because until I was 16, I wasn't culturing anything serious or pseudomonas regularly. When I was 16, I cultured MRSA, and then shortly thereafter, I started culturing several strains of pseudomonas all the time. So in the past few years, I'm kind of always sick. I realize I get sicker from time to time. But in comparison to what I was used to, I feel like I'm sick all the time now. I'm starting to learn my new "baseline" so to speak. I sound pretty sick, and I feel crappy, but I think that's just where I am now, and not something new growing that they can beat down. I'm kind of stuck with it. Either way, both can happen. The MRSA kind of snuck up on me and all of a sudden I felt like crap and my lung health went way downhill. But often, it's also progressive. For instance, now when I go on IV meds, when I get off, I slowly start to get sick again. I usually have a few weeks to a month of feeling "better" and then it starts to go downhill. At first it's not that bad, just a little more coughing. Then as weeks and months pass, it all comes back to where it was before the last round of IV meds. In theory I imagine we could treat it before it goes all the way back... but given the fact that usually it starts getting bad again only a few weeks after IV meds, it doesn't make much sense. So I'm kind of always sick, and go on IV meds a few times a year just to keep it from getting worse, I suppose.
sallybyrnes
New member
Thanks Emily, I really appreciate your information and honesty,
I can only imagine how difficult it is for you, feeling crap is hard at the best of times let alone all the time.
It must be hard for your family, boyfriend and friends to see you not feeling great? I'm sure they are very supportive.
What is the connection of 65 roses with CF?
In Melbourne, Flemington racecourse has planted a Cystic Fibrosis 65 roses garden at the track, and you also use it in your name.
Do you not have school today?
Sally
I can only imagine how difficult it is for you, feeling crap is hard at the best of times let alone all the time.
It must be hard for your family, boyfriend and friends to see you not feeling great? I'm sure they are very supportive.
What is the connection of 65 roses with CF?
In Melbourne, Flemington racecourse has planted a Cystic Fibrosis 65 roses garden at the track, and you also use it in your name.
Do you not have school today?
Sally
Emily65Roses
New member
No problem. There's a little story with 65 roses, though I don't know it off the top of my head. Basically, when CFers are little and growing up, it's really hard for us to say "cystic fibrosis." So we're told to call it "sixty five roses." They sound very much the same. I have school Mon, Wed, and Thurs. 4 classes a day. 8:00-10:30 and 1:30-2:30 on Wed. And 8:00-10:30 and 11:45-2:30 on Mon and Thurs.
I don't talk to my family or friends (though my friend Mini comes here, I'll ask him to respond) much about watching me as I'm sick, but I talk to my boyfriend Mike about it a lot. He is strong for me when I need him, but then sometimes he also slips and lets me know how he really feels. It's actually quite perfect that way. When I'm having a hard time, he's here for me. And when he's having an emotionally hard time, I'm here for him. He talks about it sometimes, though usually I can just tell by the noises and faces he makes when I'm having a coughing fit. He doesn't mean to, but he makes these little moans and these really pained faces sometimes, and I catch him doing it. It's good, though, because then I know how he actually feels about it. The other night I started a bad coughing fit, and Mike nearly started crying. He said the color of my face was awful, and then told me I was turning purple. I finished out the coughing fit, and then comforted him. Hehe. We do it back and forth for each other. He can't do much physically for me when I'm coughing, but he's always there in moral support. He'll either put his hand on my back, or get me a drink, or sit behind me and let me lean on him, or any combination of the above. One time when I was particularly weak after a coughing fit that resulted in vomiting, he helped me up off the bathroom floor and walked me back to bed. So we're both here for each other. I'm the one that deals with the physical suffering, and that's quite obvious. But with my physical suffering comes a lot of emotional suffering for him. So he'll support me when I'm coughing, then when I'm done, I'll support him if need be. It all comes full circle and works well for us. But overall, yes, my friends, family, and Mike are all very supportive. <img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">
I don't talk to my family or friends (though my friend Mini comes here, I'll ask him to respond) much about watching me as I'm sick, but I talk to my boyfriend Mike about it a lot. He is strong for me when I need him, but then sometimes he also slips and lets me know how he really feels. It's actually quite perfect that way. When I'm having a hard time, he's here for me. And when he's having an emotionally hard time, I'm here for him. He talks about it sometimes, though usually I can just tell by the noises and faces he makes when I'm having a coughing fit. He doesn't mean to, but he makes these little moans and these really pained faces sometimes, and I catch him doing it. It's good, though, because then I know how he actually feels about it. The other night I started a bad coughing fit, and Mike nearly started crying. He said the color of my face was awful, and then told me I was turning purple. I finished out the coughing fit, and then comforted him. Hehe. We do it back and forth for each other. He can't do much physically for me when I'm coughing, but he's always there in moral support. He'll either put his hand on my back, or get me a drink, or sit behind me and let me lean on him, or any combination of the above. One time when I was particularly weak after a coughing fit that resulted in vomiting, he helped me up off the bathroom floor and walked me back to bed. So we're both here for each other. I'm the one that deals with the physical suffering, and that's quite obvious. But with my physical suffering comes a lot of emotional suffering for him. So he'll support me when I'm coughing, then when I'm done, I'll support him if need be. It all comes full circle and works well for us. But overall, yes, my friends, family, and Mike are all very supportive. <img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">