Well, as mentioned by another reply, it was indeed Allan Glenns story that really made me fill with so much emotion. I literally cried for days, and I thought how awful it was to lose such a wonderful human being like Allan at such a young age. It brought me to my knees. In doing so I came here to give hope, support and help. I came out of pure raw emotion, the scars to which looking at Allans foto bears the sting of an open wound. It hurts me so emotionally, maybe that was another reason I had to step away and refresh myself.
As I looked back on the past year, as I looked back has it had been basically all about me. Who do I worry about?..Me. Who's in trouble?..Me. It came down to a short list of questions I asked myself and the answer was always Me. All I have done was nothing for anyone but Me.
I sat down and I thought about the very people who really mean something to me. I don't have any friends, and relatives are a natural. Famous politicians, artists, movie stars, poets,.....poets. That intriquing young man who passed from CF. I had to think awhile before I remembered his name.
Then I just sat on the edge of the bed sobbing like he passed only yesterday. I said to myself "Your a damn greedy *****. How dare you forget the things that you take for granted for those who can't! Look at yourself! you haven't made any inroads here. If it means this much to you, you can sit here forever and feel sorry for yourself, or you get up your lazy ass and actually be a contribution to society!"
So while I finished up the box of kleenex, I thought it would be a good time to start from scratch to build a new person.
On December 31st 2006 was my last drink of alcohol. In 2 days I should be off cigarrettes (I'm currently on Bupropion).
But again even in this reply I keep seeing "I", and that's not looking outward enough. Yes, good things to get rid of and change personally, but changing the momentum outward is why I have returned to give outwardly.
Other than that I look forward to listening and learning. As always saying prayers for those in need. Someone said the greatest scholar had big ears..lol.
When I was a kid, their was this pen-pal TV show Big Blue Marble. I had a penpal in Pennsylania. We wrote back and forth for years. Maybe their is such a program like that...oh, yeah I forgot...it's called a chat room now...lol.
~Jim