Addressing the Family......(VENT ALERT)

Emily65Roses · May 22, 2007

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>blondelawyer</b></i>

I agree that you just need to let it go. These people won't change and it will just bother you if you dwell on it. One year my SIL was doing Great Strides and did a letter writing campaign and their aunt wrote this nasty email about how she can't support the CFF for religious reasons, etc. and we were like "hello, your nephew has CF!" but we just had to forget about it (and never send a letter to her again).</end quote></div>

What the hell?! What religious reasons prevent you from supporting fighting a disease killing a person in your family? Only one I can think of is stem cells and I didn't think the CFF was doing much with that.

JazzysMom · May 22, 2007

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Emily65Roses</b></i>

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>blondelawyer</b></i>

I agree that you just need to let it go. These people won't change and it will just bother you if you dwell on it. One year my SIL was doing Great Strides and did a letter writing campaign and their aunt wrote this nasty email about how she can't support the CFF for religious reasons, etc. and we were like "hello, your nephew has CF!" but we just had to forget about it (and never send a letter to her again).</end quote></div>

What the hell?! What religious reasons prevent you from supporting fighting a disease killing a person in your family? Only one I can think of is stem cells and I didn't think the CFF was doing much with that.</end quote></div>

I worked with a girl who said she couldnt/wouldnt support or do fundraising of any kind due to religious reasons. I dont know what her actual religion was, but the basis was that its "materialistic" (even if for a good cause) and is a no no because God should be first. I am para phrasing here, but thats the jist of it.

JazzysMom · May 22, 2007

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Emily65Roses</b></i>

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>blondelawyer</b></i>

I agree that you just need to let it go. These people won't change and it will just bother you if you dwell on it. One year my SIL was doing Great Strides and did a letter writing campaign and their aunt wrote this nasty email about how she can't support the CFF for religious reasons, etc. and we were like "hello, your nephew has CF!" but we just had to forget about it (and never send a letter to her again).</end quote></div>

What the hell?! What religious reasons prevent you from supporting fighting a disease killing a person in your family? Only one I can think of is stem cells and I didn't think the CFF was doing much with that.</end quote></div>

I worked with a girl who said she couldnt/wouldnt support or do fundraising of any kind due to religious reasons. I dont know what her actual religion was, but the basis was that its "materialistic" (even if for a good cause) and is a no no because God should be first. I am para phrasing here, but thats the jist of it.

JazzysMom · May 22, 2007

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Emily65Roses</b></i>

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>blondelawyer</b></i>

I agree that you just need to let it go. These people won't change and it will just bother you if you dwell on it. One year my SIL was doing Great Strides and did a letter writing campaign and their aunt wrote this nasty email about how she can't support the CFF for religious reasons, etc. and we were like "hello, your nephew has CF!" but we just had to forget about it (and never send a letter to her again).</end quote></div>

What the hell?! What religious reasons prevent you from supporting fighting a disease killing a person in your family? Only one I can think of is stem cells and I didn't think the CFF was doing much with that.</end quote></div>

I worked with a girl who said she couldnt/wouldnt support or do fundraising of any kind due to religious reasons. I dont know what her actual religion was, but the basis was that its "materialistic" (even if for a good cause) and is a no no because God should be first. I am para phrasing here, but thats the jist of it.

kybert · May 22, 2007

wait a minute. you send letters to people you havent met and you expect them to send money back? am i missing something? they are causing your family pain and sadness because they dont donate?

either you have typed your post wrong and missed things out or you are just oversensitive and need to get over it!

none of my extended family have donated and i dont expect them to either. it doesnt bother me one bit. dont see what the fuss is about and dont see why it would cause 'pain and sadness'.

kybert · May 22, 2007

wait a minute. you send letters to people you havent met and you expect them to send money back? am i missing something? they are causing your family pain and sadness because they dont donate?

either you have typed your post wrong and missed things out or you are just oversensitive and need to get over it!

none of my extended family have donated and i dont expect them to either. it doesnt bother me one bit. dont see what the fuss is about and dont see why it would cause 'pain and sadness'.

kybert · May 22, 2007

wait a minute. you send letters to people you havent met and you expect them to send money back? am i missing something? they are causing your family pain and sadness because they dont donate?

either you have typed your post wrong and missed things out or you are just oversensitive and need to get over it!

none of my extended family have donated and i dont expect them to either. it doesnt bother me one bit. dont see what the fuss is about and dont see why it would cause 'pain and sadness'.

js7881 · May 22, 2007

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>kybert</b></i>

wait a minute. you send letters to people you havent met and you expect them to send money back? am i missing something? they are causing your family pain and sadness because they dont donate?

either you have typed your post wrong and missed things out or you are just oversensitive and need to get over it!

none of my extended family have donated and i dont expect them to either. it doesnt bother me one bit. dont see what the fuss is about and dont see why it would cause 'pain and sadness'.</end quote></div>

Wow...aren't we bitter!!!! I sent a letter to my extended family letting them know that my daughter had CF and that it runs in the family. They are causing us pain because I would be the first to support. They have responded with "It's not our problem" So yes that's upseting to hear.

If you are going to be rude please do not post....THANK YOU!!!!

js7881 · May 22, 2007

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>kybert</b></i>

wait a minute. you send letters to people you havent met and you expect them to send money back? am i missing something? they are causing your family pain and sadness because they dont donate?

either you have typed your post wrong and missed things out or you are just oversensitive and need to get over it!

none of my extended family have donated and i dont expect them to either. it doesnt bother me one bit. dont see what the fuss is about and dont see why it would cause 'pain and sadness'.</end quote></div>

Wow...aren't we bitter!!!! I sent a letter to my extended family letting them know that my daughter had CF and that it runs in the family. They are causing us pain because I would be the first to support. They have responded with "It's not our problem" So yes that's upseting to hear.

If you are going to be rude please do not post....THANK YOU!!!!

js7881 · May 22, 2007

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>kybert</b></i>

wait a minute. you send letters to people you havent met and you expect them to send money back? am i missing something? they are causing your family pain and sadness because they dont donate?

either you have typed your post wrong and missed things out or you are just oversensitive and need to get over it!

none of my extended family have donated and i dont expect them to either. it doesnt bother me one bit. dont see what the fuss is about and dont see why it would cause 'pain and sadness'.</end quote></div>

Wow...aren't we bitter!!!! I sent a letter to my extended family letting them know that my daughter had CF and that it runs in the family. They are causing us pain because I would be the first to support. They have responded with "It's not our problem" So yes that's upseting to hear.

If you are going to be rude please do not post....THANK YOU!!!!

js7881 · May 22, 2007

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>js7881</b></i>

Ok, so this weekend was the Great Strides in my area. I volunteered last year to be on the committee. As bad as this may sounds i am so glad it's over!!! It has been so stressful. I have had very little help. My mom and husband have been amazing support. But here's my problem......

I found out my daughter Alayna had CF during my pregnancy. She will be 2 on June 15. Basically my entire family as well as my husbands have know about this now since I was 5 months pregnant so it's no shocker that she has it. This year I did my first letter writing campaign. I contacted my aunt to get addresses of famiy members that live in other states that I've never met.<b> I sent them all letters (over 100) letting them know the disease runs in the family and that Alayna has it.</b> Out of those 100 I might have received 5 back. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-disgusted.gif" border="0">How sad is that???? <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0"> Some of these people are my godparents and Alayna's godparents. I mean come on they honestly can't donate $5 or $10....UGH!!!!!!!!!

I was lucky enough to have made more then my goal thanks to my co-workers and few family members that I could count on. My dad's uncle is like 90 years old on a fixed income and still sent me a $100 <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

Does anyone have advice on the best way to address this issue?? It's about time they know the pain and sadness they are causing my family.</end quote></div>

Kybert - PLease see above what I underlined......Maybe you should of actually read it before commenting. The people I count on are my immediate family (I.E. SIL, BIL, MIL, FIL, aunt's, uncles, Alayna's godparents)

js7881 · May 22, 2007

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>js7881</b></i>

Ok, so this weekend was the Great Strides in my area. I volunteered last year to be on the committee. As bad as this may sounds i am so glad it's over!!! It has been so stressful. I have had very little help. My mom and husband have been amazing support. But here's my problem......

I found out my daughter Alayna had CF during my pregnancy. She will be 2 on June 15. Basically my entire family as well as my husbands have know about this now since I was 5 months pregnant so it's no shocker that she has it. This year I did my first letter writing campaign. I contacted my aunt to get addresses of famiy members that live in other states that I've never met.<b> I sent them all letters (over 100) letting them know the disease runs in the family and that Alayna has it.</b> Out of those 100 I might have received 5 back. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-disgusted.gif" border="0">How sad is that???? <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0"> Some of these people are my godparents and Alayna's godparents. I mean come on they honestly can't donate $5 or $10....UGH!!!!!!!!!

I was lucky enough to have made more then my goal thanks to my co-workers and few family members that I could count on. My dad's uncle is like 90 years old on a fixed income and still sent me a $100 <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

Does anyone have advice on the best way to address this issue?? It's about time they know the pain and sadness they are causing my family.</end quote></div>

Kybert - PLease see above what I underlined......Maybe you should of actually read it before commenting. The people I count on are my immediate family (I.E. SIL, BIL, MIL, FIL, aunt's, uncles, Alayna's godparents)

js7881 · May 22, 2007

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>js7881</b></i>

Ok, so this weekend was the Great Strides in my area. I volunteered last year to be on the committee. As bad as this may sounds i am so glad it's over!!! It has been so stressful. I have had very little help. My mom and husband have been amazing support. But here's my problem......

I found out my daughter Alayna had CF during my pregnancy. She will be 2 on June 15. Basically my entire family as well as my husbands have know about this now since I was 5 months pregnant so it's no shocker that she has it. This year I did my first letter writing campaign. I contacted my aunt to get addresses of famiy members that live in other states that I've never met.<b> I sent them all letters (over 100) letting them know the disease runs in the family and that Alayna has it.</b> Out of those 100 I might have received 5 back. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-disgusted.gif" border="0">How sad is that???? <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0"> Some of these people are my godparents and Alayna's godparents. I mean come on they honestly can't donate $5 or $10....UGH!!!!!!!!!

I was lucky enough to have made more then my goal thanks to my co-workers and few family members that I could count on. My dad's uncle is like 90 years old on a fixed income and still sent me a $100 <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

Does anyone have advice on the best way to address this issue?? It's about time they know the pain and sadness they are causing my family.</end quote></div>

Kybert - PLease see above what I underlined......Maybe you should of actually read it before commenting. The people I count on are my immediate family (I.E. SIL, BIL, MIL, FIL, aunt's, uncles, Alayna's godparents)

JazzysMom · May 22, 2007

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>js7881</b></i>

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>kybert</b></i>

wait a minute. you send letters to people you havent met and you expect them to send money back? am i missing something? they are causing your family pain and sadness because they dont donate?

either you have typed your post wrong and missed things out or you are just oversensitive and need to get over it!

none of my extended family have donated and i dont expect them to either. it doesnt bother me one bit. dont see what the fuss is about and dont see why it would cause 'pain and sadness'.</end quote></div>

Wow...aren't we bitter!!!! I sent a letter to my extended family letting them know that my daughter had CF and that it runs in the family. They are causing us pain because I would be the first to support. They have responded with "It's not our problem" So yes that's upseting to hear.

If you are going to be rude please do not post....THANK YOU!!!!</end quote></div>

I think what is upsetting to you (correct me if I am wrong) is that chances are good, that should the CF gene rear its head a bit closer to that extended family, all your efforts would be more appreciated. For now its not that close to them and as it is in life.....until its at their front door it doesnt phase them. Try not to let it bother you because it seems to be the norm with families. Allowing it to cause pain & sadness in your family is a normal response, but I hope it doesnt linger because that doesnt benefit anyone. HUGS!

JazzysMom · May 22, 2007

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>js7881</b></i>

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>kybert</b></i>

wait a minute. you send letters to people you havent met and you expect them to send money back? am i missing something? they are causing your family pain and sadness because they dont donate?

either you have typed your post wrong and missed things out or you are just oversensitive and need to get over it!

none of my extended family have donated and i dont expect them to either. it doesnt bother me one bit. dont see what the fuss is about and dont see why it would cause 'pain and sadness'.</end quote></div>

Wow...aren't we bitter!!!! I sent a letter to my extended family letting them know that my daughter had CF and that it runs in the family. They are causing us pain because I would be the first to support. They have responded with "It's not our problem" So yes that's upseting to hear.

If you are going to be rude please do not post....THANK YOU!!!!</end quote></div>

I think what is upsetting to you (correct me if I am wrong) is that chances are good, that should the CF gene rear its head a bit closer to that extended family, all your efforts would be more appreciated. For now its not that close to them and as it is in life.....until its at their front door it doesnt phase them. Try not to let it bother you because it seems to be the norm with families. Allowing it to cause pain & sadness in your family is a normal response, but I hope it doesnt linger because that doesnt benefit anyone. HUGS!

JazzysMom · May 22, 2007

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>js7881</b></i>

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>kybert</b></i>

wait a minute. you send letters to people you havent met and you expect them to send money back? am i missing something? they are causing your family pain and sadness because they dont donate?

either you have typed your post wrong and missed things out or you are just oversensitive and need to get over it!

none of my extended family have donated and i dont expect them to either. it doesnt bother me one bit. dont see what the fuss is about and dont see why it would cause 'pain and sadness'.</end quote></div>

Wow...aren't we bitter!!!! I sent a letter to my extended family letting them know that my daughter had CF and that it runs in the family. They are causing us pain because I would be the first to support. They have responded with "It's not our problem" So yes that's upseting to hear.

If you are going to be rude please do not post....THANK YOU!!!!</end quote></div>

I think what is upsetting to you (correct me if I am wrong) is that chances are good, that should the CF gene rear its head a bit closer to that extended family, all your efforts would be more appreciated. For now its not that close to them and as it is in life.....until its at their front door it doesnt phase them. Try not to let it bother you because it seems to be the norm with families. Allowing it to cause pain & sadness in your family is a normal response, but I hope it doesnt linger because that doesnt benefit anyone. HUGS!

LisaV · May 22, 2007

It sounds a bit like you are equating money (donations) with love and concern, but maybe I'm mistaken. Anyway, if you are I'd work real hard at not doing that because (my turn to state the obvious) they are different. I suspect you feel that to. If you'd gotten supportive loving letters back from the folks that you have been in contact over the years (like godparents) even without monies, would you feel differently? Are you upset because they don't seem to care or because they didn't send you a check?

Frankly if someone who I hadn't been in close contact with over the years initiated contact by asking me for money (even in a good cause) I would be a bit put off while if they'd just written me a nice informative letter I might respond and start building a relationship with them.

As far as donations go, as I wrote in another thread, I make my decisions about what groups to donate to at tax time and then donate and ask work for matching funds. Obviously, I donate to causes that are close to my heart (and that includes the family diseases) then. I don't donate cash at other times.

I am not enthused about the various walks for all of the various causes. I think that arena is oversaturated.There is a walk for one cause or another starting at theBoston Public Garden every weekend all year. I think that the only folks that really get up for these events are those who are immediately effected and I don't want to have my donations used for the overhead.

Educational events are another matter....

LisaV · May 22, 2007

It sounds a bit like you are equating money (donations) with love and concern, but maybe I'm mistaken. Anyway, if you are I'd work real hard at not doing that because (my turn to state the obvious) they are different. I suspect you feel that to. If you'd gotten supportive loving letters back from the folks that you have been in contact over the years (like godparents) even without monies, would you feel differently? Are you upset because they don't seem to care or because they didn't send you a check?

Frankly if someone who I hadn't been in close contact with over the years initiated contact by asking me for money (even in a good cause) I would be a bit put off while if they'd just written me a nice informative letter I might respond and start building a relationship with them.

As far as donations go, as I wrote in another thread, I make my decisions about what groups to donate to at tax time and then donate and ask work for matching funds. Obviously, I donate to causes that are close to my heart (and that includes the family diseases) then. I don't donate cash at other times.

I am not enthused about the various walks for all of the various causes. I think that arena is oversaturated.There is a walk for one cause or another starting at theBoston Public Garden every weekend all year. I think that the only folks that really get up for these events are those who are immediately effected and I don't want to have my donations used for the overhead.

Educational events are another matter....

LisaV · May 22, 2007

It sounds a bit like you are equating money (donations) with love and concern, but maybe I'm mistaken. Anyway, if you are I'd work real hard at not doing that because (my turn to state the obvious) they are different. I suspect you feel that to. If you'd gotten supportive loving letters back from the folks that you have been in contact over the years (like godparents) even without monies, would you feel differently? Are you upset because they don't seem to care or because they didn't send you a check?

Frankly if someone who I hadn't been in close contact with over the years initiated contact by asking me for money (even in a good cause) I would be a bit put off while if they'd just written me a nice informative letter I might respond and start building a relationship with them.

As far as donations go, as I wrote in another thread, I make my decisions about what groups to donate to at tax time and then donate and ask work for matching funds. Obviously, I donate to causes that are close to my heart (and that includes the family diseases) then. I don't donate cash at other times.

I am not enthused about the various walks for all of the various causes. I think that arena is oversaturated.There is a walk for one cause or another starting at theBoston Public Garden every weekend all year. I think that the only folks that really get up for these events are those who are immediately effected and I don't want to have my donations used for the overhead.

Educational events are another matter....

Emily65Roses · May 22, 2007

I'd say stuff like this is some of the most harmless materialistic stuff ever. It's not like we're asking you to buy us new cars. We're asking you to help us live. Holy hell, I am glad I'm not religious.

Addressing the Family......(VENT ALERT)

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