Adoption

Lamp · May 29, 2009

Hello all!
I've never posted in this section so I hope this subject is suitable here. I'm not pregnant so I thought It'd be better to post this here instead of the pregnancy section.

Me and my husband have been TTC since we were married 3 1/2 years ago. Frankly I'm tired of it and just want to be a mommy. For those of you that have adopted, what pointers or advice would you have for me? Is it true its just a heartbreaking as infertility procedures? I know one of you guys told me to go the adoption lawyer route since agencies tend to focus to much on our CF. I don't even really know how to pick a lawyer. Do you just kinda point and shoot? lol And how do lawyers find babies that to be given up?
Any and all experiences you could share with me would be appreciated!! I'm driving blind here and am a little overwhelmed! I know the basics like I need a home study done which is about $500 ect. But would love to hear your stories and advice!!

Thanks in advance!
Laura

Lamp · May 29, 2009

Hello all!
I've never posted in this section so I hope this subject is suitable here. I'm not pregnant so I thought It'd be better to post this here instead of the pregnancy section.

Me and my husband have been TTC since we were married 3 1/2 years ago. Frankly I'm tired of it and just want to be a mommy. For those of you that have adopted, what pointers or advice would you have for me? Is it true its just a heartbreaking as infertility procedures? I know one of you guys told me to go the adoption lawyer route since agencies tend to focus to much on our CF. I don't even really know how to pick a lawyer. Do you just kinda point and shoot? lol And how do lawyers find babies that to be given up?
Any and all experiences you could share with me would be appreciated!! I'm driving blind here and am a little overwhelmed! I know the basics like I need a home study done which is about $500 ect. But would love to hear your stories and advice!!

Thanks in advance!
Laura

Lamp · May 29, 2009

Hello all!
I've never posted in this section so I hope this subject is suitable here. I'm not pregnant so I thought It'd be better to post this here instead of the pregnancy section.

Me and my husband have been TTC since we were married 3 1/2 years ago. Frankly I'm tired of it and just want to be a mommy. For those of you that have adopted, what pointers or advice would you have for me? Is it true its just a heartbreaking as infertility procedures? I know one of you guys told me to go the adoption lawyer route since agencies tend to focus to much on our CF. I don't even really know how to pick a lawyer. Do you just kinda point and shoot? lol And how do lawyers find babies that to be given up?
Any and all experiences you could share with me would be appreciated!! I'm driving blind here and am a little overwhelmed! I know the basics like I need a home study done which is about $500 ect. But would love to hear your stories and advice!!

Thanks in advance!
Laura

Lamp · May 29, 2009

Hello all!
I've never posted in this section so I hope this subject is suitable here. I'm not pregnant so I thought It'd be better to post this here instead of the pregnancy section.

Me and my husband have been TTC since we were married 3 1/2 years ago. Frankly I'm tired of it and just want to be a mommy. For those of you that have adopted, what pointers or advice would you have for me? Is it true its just a heartbreaking as infertility procedures? I know one of you guys told me to go the adoption lawyer route since agencies tend to focus to much on our CF. I don't even really know how to pick a lawyer. Do you just kinda point and shoot? lol And how do lawyers find babies that to be given up?
Any and all experiences you could share with me would be appreciated!! I'm driving blind here and am a little overwhelmed! I know the basics like I need a home study done which is about $500 ect. But would love to hear your stories and advice!!

Thanks in advance!
Laura

Lamp · May 29, 2009

Hello all!
 I've never posted in this section so I hope this subject is suitable here. I'm not pregnant so I thought It'd be better to post this here instead of the pregnancy section.
 
 Me and my husband have been TTC since we were married 3 1/2 years ago. Frankly I'm tired of it and just want to be a mommy. For those of you that have adopted, what pointers or advice would you have for me? Is it true its just a heartbreaking as infertility procedures? I know one of you guys told me to go the adoption lawyer route since agencies tend to focus to much on our CF. I don't even really know how to pick a lawyer. Do you just kinda point and shoot? lol And how do lawyers find babies that to be given up?
 Any and all experiences you could share with me would be appreciated!! I'm driving blind here and am a little overwhelmed! I know the basics like I need a home study done which is about $500 ect. But would love to hear your stories and advice!!
 
 Thanks in advance!
 Laura

Jeana · May 29, 2009

When my husband and I decided to pursue adoption, we actually went to an agency, because they were the only ones that would come up to Barrow, AK to do a homestudy. (We no longer live there, btw.) Anyway, we had decided to choose an older child because frankly babies cost more and take more time to get. We were looking at about $8000 extra dollars and about 3 years extra in addition to the time/money it would take for an older child.

We began the process in August and had our homestudy/course work done by October. (My lung function was at 75% then and I was only going in for one tuneup a year.) We wanted a child that was between 2-4 years, but were having some difficulty finding one. I recall searching the internet databases daily. We'd find one and then find out that child had already been placed. Finally, we had a breakthrough.

On Thanksgiving Day, my husband called his step brothers' mom to wish her a happy Thanksgiving. She asked if we were still pursuing adoption. When we said yes, she said that she knew a girl who was due in March and looking for someone to adopt. The girl was actually the ex-wife of one of my husband's step brothers. My husband hadn't even met all of his step brothers until he was an adult, so we had never met the exwife either.

She called and spoke with us a few times and by Christmas, we knew that we would be adopting her child. Two and a half months later we held our son Chris for the first time.

That was not the end of the process by any means. The hardest part came for us after that. We had to wait an extra month because we were taking the baby out of state. A month in which I had to go back to Alaska without my baby. Even after we were able to have Chris in Alaska with us, we had to wait until about six months after Chris' birth to finalize the adoption. At any time during that 6 months, the birth parents could have changed their mind.

All in all, it was a probably the hardest emotional issue I've had to deal with. I know others have experienced the trauma of having a child taken back by the birth parents.
Finally, though we had our day in court and we feel so blessed to have received Chris, our gift from God.

Jeana · May 29, 2009

When my husband and I decided to pursue adoption, we actually went to an agency, because they were the only ones that would come up to Barrow, AK to do a homestudy. (We no longer live there, btw.) Anyway, we had decided to choose an older child because frankly babies cost more and take more time to get. We were looking at about $8000 extra dollars and about 3 years extra in addition to the time/money it would take for an older child.

We began the process in August and had our homestudy/course work done by October. (My lung function was at 75% then and I was only going in for one tuneup a year.) We wanted a child that was between 2-4 years, but were having some difficulty finding one. I recall searching the internet databases daily. We'd find one and then find out that child had already been placed. Finally, we had a breakthrough.

On Thanksgiving Day, my husband called his step brothers' mom to wish her a happy Thanksgiving. She asked if we were still pursuing adoption. When we said yes, she said that she knew a girl who was due in March and looking for someone to adopt. The girl was actually the ex-wife of one of my husband's step brothers. My husband hadn't even met all of his step brothers until he was an adult, so we had never met the exwife either.

She called and spoke with us a few times and by Christmas, we knew that we would be adopting her child. Two and a half months later we held our son Chris for the first time.

That was not the end of the process by any means. The hardest part came for us after that. We had to wait an extra month because we were taking the baby out of state. A month in which I had to go back to Alaska without my baby. Even after we were able to have Chris in Alaska with us, we had to wait until about six months after Chris' birth to finalize the adoption. At any time during that 6 months, the birth parents could have changed their mind.

All in all, it was a probably the hardest emotional issue I've had to deal with. I know others have experienced the trauma of having a child taken back by the birth parents.
Finally, though we had our day in court and we feel so blessed to have received Chris, our gift from God.

Jeana · May 29, 2009

When my husband and I decided to pursue adoption, we actually went to an agency, because they were the only ones that would come up to Barrow, AK to do a homestudy. (We no longer live there, btw.) Anyway, we had decided to choose an older child because frankly babies cost more and take more time to get. We were looking at about $8000 extra dollars and about 3 years extra in addition to the time/money it would take for an older child.

We began the process in August and had our homestudy/course work done by October. (My lung function was at 75% then and I was only going in for one tuneup a year.) We wanted a child that was between 2-4 years, but were having some difficulty finding one. I recall searching the internet databases daily. We'd find one and then find out that child had already been placed. Finally, we had a breakthrough.

On Thanksgiving Day, my husband called his step brothers' mom to wish her a happy Thanksgiving. She asked if we were still pursuing adoption. When we said yes, she said that she knew a girl who was due in March and looking for someone to adopt. The girl was actually the ex-wife of one of my husband's step brothers. My husband hadn't even met all of his step brothers until he was an adult, so we had never met the exwife either.

She called and spoke with us a few times and by Christmas, we knew that we would be adopting her child. Two and a half months later we held our son Chris for the first time.

That was not the end of the process by any means. The hardest part came for us after that. We had to wait an extra month because we were taking the baby out of state. A month in which I had to go back to Alaska without my baby. Even after we were able to have Chris in Alaska with us, we had to wait until about six months after Chris' birth to finalize the adoption. At any time during that 6 months, the birth parents could have changed their mind.

All in all, it was a probably the hardest emotional issue I've had to deal with. I know others have experienced the trauma of having a child taken back by the birth parents.
Finally, though we had our day in court and we feel so blessed to have received Chris, our gift from God.

Jeana · May 29, 2009

When my husband and I decided to pursue adoption, we actually went to an agency, because they were the only ones that would come up to Barrow, AK to do a homestudy. (We no longer live there, btw.) Anyway, we had decided to choose an older child because frankly babies cost more and take more time to get. We were looking at about $8000 extra dollars and about 3 years extra in addition to the time/money it would take for an older child.

We began the process in August and had our homestudy/course work done by October. (My lung function was at 75% then and I was only going in for one tuneup a year.) We wanted a child that was between 2-4 years, but were having some difficulty finding one. I recall searching the internet databases daily. We'd find one and then find out that child had already been placed. Finally, we had a breakthrough.

On Thanksgiving Day, my husband called his step brothers' mom to wish her a happy Thanksgiving. She asked if we were still pursuing adoption. When we said yes, she said that she knew a girl who was due in March and looking for someone to adopt. The girl was actually the ex-wife of one of my husband's step brothers. My husband hadn't even met all of his step brothers until he was an adult, so we had never met the exwife either.

She called and spoke with us a few times and by Christmas, we knew that we would be adopting her child. Two and a half months later we held our son Chris for the first time.

That was not the end of the process by any means. The hardest part came for us after that. We had to wait an extra month because we were taking the baby out of state. A month in which I had to go back to Alaska without my baby. Even after we were able to have Chris in Alaska with us, we had to wait until about six months after Chris' birth to finalize the adoption. At any time during that 6 months, the birth parents could have changed their mind.

All in all, it was a probably the hardest emotional issue I've had to deal with. I know others have experienced the trauma of having a child taken back by the birth parents.
Finally, though we had our day in court and we feel so blessed to have received Chris, our gift from God.

Jeana · May 29, 2009

When my husband and I decided to pursue adoption, we actually went to an agency, because they were the only ones that would come up to Barrow, AK to do a homestudy. (We no longer live there, btw.) Anyway, we had decided to choose an older child because frankly babies cost more and take more time to get. We were looking at about $8000 extra dollars and about 3 years extra in addition to the time/money it would take for an older child.
 
 We began the process in August and had our homestudy/course work done by October. (My lung function was at 75% then and I was only going in for one tuneup a year.) We wanted a child that was between 2-4 years, but were having some difficulty finding one. I recall searching the internet databases daily. We'd find one and then find out that child had already been placed. Finally, we had a breakthrough.
 
 On Thanksgiving Day, my husband called his step brothers' mom to wish her a happy Thanksgiving. She asked if we were still pursuing adoption. When we said yes, she said that she knew a girl who was due in March and looking for someone to adopt. The girl was actually the ex-wife of one of my husband's step brothers. My husband hadn't even met all of his step brothers until he was an adult, so we had never met the exwife either.
 
 She called and spoke with us a few times and by Christmas, we knew that we would be adopting her child. Two and a half months later we held our son Chris for the first time.
 
 That was not the end of the process by any means. The hardest part came for us after that. We had to wait an extra month because we were taking the baby out of state. A month in which I had to go back to Alaska without my baby. Even after we were able to have Chris in Alaska with us, we had to wait until about six months after Chris' birth to finalize the adoption. At any time during that 6 months, the birth parents could have changed their mind.
 
 All in all, it was a probably the hardest emotional issue I've had to deal with. I know others have experienced the trauma of having a child taken back by the birth parents.
 Finally, though we had our day in court and we feel so blessed to have received Chris, our gift from God.

Lamp · May 30, 2009

So the agency obviously didn't care about your CF? So before the ex-wife was in the picture, was it just you and your husbands profile out there, hoping for a birth mom to pick you?
Ok so you also got pregnant and had a son too, thats awesome! Did you guys plan for him or just think you couldn't get pregnant? If thats to personal don't feel like you have to answer it, but now I'm curious as to how everything worked out.

Lamp · May 30, 2009

So the agency obviously didn't care about your CF? So before the ex-wife was in the picture, was it just you and your husbands profile out there, hoping for a birth mom to pick you?
Ok so you also got pregnant and had a son too, thats awesome! Did you guys plan for him or just think you couldn't get pregnant? If thats to personal don't feel like you have to answer it, but now I'm curious as to how everything worked out.

Lamp · May 30, 2009

So the agency obviously didn't care about your CF? So before the ex-wife was in the picture, was it just you and your husbands profile out there, hoping for a birth mom to pick you?
Ok so you also got pregnant and had a son too, thats awesome! Did you guys plan for him or just think you couldn't get pregnant? If thats to personal don't feel like you have to answer it, but now I'm curious as to how everything worked out.

Lamp · May 30, 2009

So the agency obviously didn't care about your CF? So before the ex-wife was in the picture, was it just you and your husbands profile out there, hoping for a birth mom to pick you?
Ok so you also got pregnant and had a son too, thats awesome! Did you guys plan for him or just think you couldn't get pregnant? If thats to personal don't feel like you have to answer it, but now I'm curious as to how everything worked out.

Lamp · May 30, 2009

So the agency obviously didn't care about your CF? So before the ex-wife was in the picture, was it just you and your husbands profile out there, hoping for a birth mom to pick you?
 Ok so you also got pregnant and had a son too, thats awesome! Did you guys plan for him or just think you couldn't get pregnant? If thats to personal don't feel like you have to answer it, but now I'm curious as to how everything worked out.

sassy81172 · May 30, 2009

I can't really help you much as far as the adopting/CF issues. We adopted our son Brady, who has CF. I just wanted to wish you the best of luck. I can say that the process can be very emotional. We spent 7 years fighting fertility issues before we started the adoption process and both are very emotionally exhausting. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers as you try to decide what to do. Best of luck to you!

Missy

sassy81172 · May 30, 2009

I can't really help you much as far as the adopting/CF issues. We adopted our son Brady, who has CF. I just wanted to wish you the best of luck. I can say that the process can be very emotional. We spent 7 years fighting fertility issues before we started the adoption process and both are very emotionally exhausting. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers as you try to decide what to do. Best of luck to you!

Missy

sassy81172 · May 30, 2009

I can't really help you much as far as the adopting/CF issues. We adopted our son Brady, who has CF. I just wanted to wish you the best of luck. I can say that the process can be very emotional. We spent 7 years fighting fertility issues before we started the adoption process and both are very emotionally exhausting. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers as you try to decide what to do. Best of luck to you!

Missy

sassy81172 · May 30, 2009

I can't really help you much as far as the adopting/CF issues. We adopted our son Brady, who has CF. I just wanted to wish you the best of luck. I can say that the process can be very emotional. We spent 7 years fighting fertility issues before we started the adoption process and both are very emotionally exhausting. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers as you try to decide what to do. Best of luck to you!

Missy

sassy81172 · May 30, 2009

I can't really help you much as far as the adopting/CF issues. We adopted our son Brady, who has CF. I just wanted to wish you the best of luck. I can say that the process can be very emotional. We spent 7 years fighting fertility issues before we started the adoption process and both are very emotionally exhausting. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers as you try to decide what to do. Best of luck to you!
 
 Missy

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