Am I the only one?

tessa55454

New member
You know, I was really thinking if I wanted to comment on this one. Meaning: is there a valid point to be made here.

I don't think people in general with many chronic illness's blame God or whomever everyday of there lives. I believe it happens here and there, when life gets tough, and you are tired. You are tired of everything, not one thing...but just the whole darn picture. If you think about this world, it is made for healthy people. People that have all the fortunes of two lungs that work great, or two feet to walk with, or don't have severe bouts of depression; this world as we know it runs a lot smoother.

Sometimes I think if I was in a wheel chair, I would be so spittin' mad I am not sure what I would do. A friend of mine has MS for over ten years now, she would rather have MS than CF. I think that says something about CF.

Another situation too is, we are surrounded daily by people who remind of us how healthy they are, just by existing. Who can take there time and run with life, not take care of themself and just not care. Our time line to not care, really doesn't exist; if so...for a very short time and then we have to grow-up. We have to grow-up because our lives, as you look in the mirror, depends on it.

I think the point here is, that a person gets tired sometimes, plain tired. Doesn't want to think about the next hill they have to climb to get to the other side, there are just tired. Sometimes I would like the world to slow down, take a look around more; but many times it doesn't. So, as a person in this world I have to exert tolerance for peoples behaviors, decisions, and lack of common sense. That takes energy when you are tired.

I am not tired today, but I will be again. I have been so many countless times in the past, and it will present itself again. That is part of play in my life. That is fine when I am not tired. When you have energy and air in your lungs, life is a bit brighter. The personality of yourself comes out, and the energy to move on is there. But, the energy comes from within, generated by you..

I am a positive person, and I surround myself with people that have great energy. I don't complain hardly at all. I am a lot more even keal then most people I know, by practice mind you. I have a high tolerance (again by practice) for people and situations. But, I think at times I would like to shed this clothing, everything that constitute the WORK with Cf, hang it up, and be done. I think sometimes pointing fingers gets misconstruded as just being tired. Not that we are unappreciative people, that's not it, because with bad there is always good. We are human, you get tired sometimes.

Tessa 27 w/cf
 

roblake29

New member
Chad and Tessa, thank you both for your intelligent words. Both of your messages are thoughtful and thought provoking. It is nice that we can have encouraging debates about important issues... instead of ones like people posting messages asking for help with their CF report! Hah!
And yes, blame the french!

Rob 24 wcf
 

anonymous

New member
What about those whom cf destroyed their life? Those who never had their moment in life. Not all cfers are healthy and able to maintain daily activities. There is a bad side abt cf. Dont blame anyone if he couldnt take it anymore. Some cases are severe and they make u regret the moment u were born. Im not blaming God , but cf is not always nice or something u can deal with. Everyday by itself is a challenge, and u have to worry about tomorrow. It may never come or it can be spent in the hospital. When this happens i can just not see anything positive about having cf. Some say cf made their characters. Well, I envy them because its hard to keep a character when everything you fight for would never be won, when you have nothing to gain or lose, when you live everyday just because you woke up and you have to live it, when your life becomes just numbers. I dont fight for my next birthday because I dont care about it. Infact, my birthday was a day to regret. Life can be harsh, but the big question is when God didnt give you much in your life, would there be a kind of consollation in the so awaited after life, or oh you were just not lucky enough,hard luck..... For those who are enjoying their lives with cf and those who have no cf at all or any disability I tell you to thank God everynight well every hour if you can because he didnt show you how hard life can be. I'm on the verge of the end , and I chose not to have a transplant because its not worthy. I look back at my short life and see that I had nothing to be proud of or even cheer about so it was a total mess or waste of time. I nearly lost my life when I was one year old but unfortunately I didnt. The advanced treatments made me reach this far, but withought any significance so I wish they never existed. Again, I dont blame God, but I tell him please dont forget me when it is time because u never gave me a chance here, and I know that you are merciful and wise so you would not judge me.........

anonymous 20 w/cf
 

Emily65Roses

New member
Is there any reason you're educating us on CF? Most of us (correct me if I'm wrong) already know what it involves. And I'm sure most people know how hard it can be on others, even if it's not as bad for themselves.
 

roblake29

New member
To that last anonymous poster... Im sorry but I have to completely disagree with you!
CF didnt destroy your life, your hugely negative reaction to it did. If you choose to compare your life with others without CF in terms of what you can't do, then you are doomed from the start. It's no wonder you are clearly depressed and want to die! Well, that attitude totally sucks! You heard it from me. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and make the best of the cards you have been dealt. There are so many millions of people in this world with less than you... and all Im hearing is negativity. Sort it out!

Rob 24 wcf
 

tessa55454

New member
o.k.

I think, and this is just my little brain thinking away..that in life there is always going to be a challenge. That challenge represents a weakness inside that you have to deal with it. It's called karma. IF you don't deal with it after it presents itself the first time (whatever it is) it will appear again.

It doesn't matter if it is a situation you were born with, or a situation that is created. That situation is your challenge. There is a lesson in everything, unfortunately and fortuanately, it comes down to you..not CF.

I have known and seen an aray of issues from people. People from being bi-polar, MS, mentally handicapped, emotionally handicapped. I know someone that there biggest challenge is there self-esteem, because of being sexually molested, her parents divorced at a young age, and her father who stepped out of line at time or two i.e. looking at his daughter a bit inappropiately...well cause he likes to think his daughter is a buddy of sorts, likes to smoke pot with.

Now, myself....I was sexually abused when I was really young and then mentally abused for years. I ran away at the age of 17, supported myself since I was 17, graduated HS on my own, while working full-time. I basically divorced my family for years, until they learned to grow-up, since I was always the adult in the family. I put myself through college, all the while managing my health. As my doctor puts it: "sometimes people just never change, and you have to move on for yourself."

Crap happends sometimes, it is just the way it is. YOu have choices, we have all heard about these. My biggest challenge beyond CF is anger. Dealing with my anger. I have learned to deal with it and let go of it. It took many, many years.

IN every life you come into this world with something that will challenge you. And it could even be being ignornant and naive' and thinking life is great, I have money, I have no problems and I can do whatever I please, until one day reality smacks you in your face because you develop a terrible health problem, or loss your money, and actually have to work now.

NO one walks in here free of any sitations that aren't going to challenge you to grow into a better person, hopefully. They situation(s) are there mirroring the issue underneath. It's either you go down with them, or you decide to knock them around a bit. You make your decisions for once, and step-up and decide to lead you life, not have your issues lead you. This is the brutal truth. That may make ythe poster that isn't doing so well very angry, I get it, I know anger inside and out.

I am sorry to the poster that is not doing so hot... CF people are made to be stubborn I sware, and made to be strong...raise the theometer a bit. And not because you don't want to, and you can't, it's because it's the only choice to be made. The other choice is not existent, because there is no other choice. If you find there is no goodness in your life, I am sorry, that is a shame.

IF I get slapped around for this one, oh well....because I am telling you it's the ABSOLUTE BRUTAL TRUTH. YOU DECIDE.

Tessa 27 w/cfrd
 

Lilith

New member
Sometimes I think blaming someone or 'something', filling the void and emptiness we feel with contempt, is the only way to deal with the emotions. Otherwise, if there were no distractions and no one to blame, what would happen to us? I know personally that it would drive me insane. I would rather blame God than my parents, or anyone else, because I don't think there is a god in the world we live in today. There is so much pain and hatred, what kind of god would let his people suffer in such agony? A lot of CF patients were diagnosed at birth or early childhood. What crimes could they have committed to deserve such a fate (not that anyone, diagnosed early or not, deserves this, I'm just making a point)?

I don't think it's fair to anyone to have to go through this, and if I go to Hell (if there is such a place) for blaming God, I'll be more than happy to after I have a few strong words with Him!!
 

anonymous

New member
To Emily and Rob,

How completely heartless and insensitive of you to judge the 20yr old anonymous w/CF.

Every one of us deals in our own way. Who are you two to judge one persons outlook on life with CF?

Here's some advice... When your on your deathbed, ready to leave loved ones behind... Just remember to suck it up! There are people worse off than you.

Hypocrites!!!

Sean 27/m w/CF
 

anonymous

New member
Thanks Sean for defending my rights. To Emily and Rob I think you dont know me and you dont know how my life went so dont judge me. I'm sure if you were in my place you would have committed suicide by now. The worst people I know are those who judge based on little facts or evidence. Im not angry anyways because its not worthy to be angry about someone because people dont know. Day after day , I get pretty confident that God is loving enough to send me to heaven.
 

Mockingbird

New member
Defending your rights? Heh, I'm sorry, but I'm with Rob and Emily. You pretty much said that there was absolutely nothing good in your life, that it was unfortunate you didn't die and one year old. What the hell makes you so goddamn special? I don't care what your condition is; life is always a gift. If you truly can't think of one good thing about your life, then make something good while you still have time. The way we live our lives is entirely up to us, no matter what challenges we face. You have no one to blame but yourself.

Jarod
23 w/cf
 

anonymous

New member
To anonymous that thinks that God is loving enough to send you into heaven. You could be totally right in your belief, only God obviously makes that decision, but I have a belief in how to get to heaven and there are many, many people on this site that don't agree, so I won't put them through reading a whole litany of information, but to you personally, if you are interested in knowing my belief you can visit the following website:
<a target=new class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.billygraham.org/SH_StepsToPeace.asp
">http://www.billygraham.org/SH_StepsToPeace.asp
</a>Elle
 

Emily65Roses

New member
"Every one of us deals in our own way. Who are you two to judge one persons outlook on life with CF?
Here's some advice... When your on your deathbed, ready to leave loved ones behind... Just remember to suck it up! There are people worse off than you."

I never said anything that would warrant that response. All I said is that most of us know what CF is all about, and that there are others worse off than us. I never said you had no right to complain just because people are worse off. I complain plenty, despite that fact.

"To Emily and Rob I think you dont know me and you dont know how my life went so dont judge me. I'm sure if you were in my place you would have committed suicide by now."

I didn't judge. You guys need to reread my post carefully. All I said is that we are all aware of how it can be, and you needn't educate us. I never said you had no right to complain. And as for telling me not to judge, who are you to tell us (Rob and myself) that we would've killed ourselves by now if we were you? Who are you to make that assumption? If you want to have a pissing contest, go somewhere else. I'm sure there are others here who could match up to, and pass you on that level. And as I'm willing to bet we all know, "who has it worse" is just about the stupidest argument ever.
 

tessa55454

New member
Emily..you crack me up. You are like hard core, "don't mess with me." I think it's great.

It looks like you were up a little late last night. I came on to the site this morning, and I am like, "hmmm..looks like Emily was on." I am like that too.

Tessa 27 w/cf
 

anonymous

New member
C'mon people cant we just come together and hate on the french? We shouldnt take life so seriously... we will never make it out alive.
 

roblake29

New member
Emily, you are so totally awesome! I loved your last message. VERY hardcore, and very right (in my opinion)! Its what I like to see! I would call it a fighting spirit, something that makes us believe we can make a change in this world (because that is exactly what I intend to do!). Life is for living, not merely existing.
I also love what you wrote Jarod, but I think you should have emphasised the 'LIFE IS ALWAYS A GIFT' bit! Heh! It seems our anonymous poster has forgotten that important message, when there are so many people out there who would do absolutely anything to have life, no matter how crap it might seem. Its like the ignorant smoker who smokes all his life, wrecks his lungs and complains... when there are thousands of us CFers who would do absolutely anything to be born with perfect lungs. What gives the smoker the right to destroy their's? Agreed? I see this as nothing less than a complete insult.

On the same hand, I am sure that there are many people (worse off than you) who read your message and are utterly insulted by your very words (and what about those that can't read, write, talk or see?). What gives you the right to want death when there are so many others out there who would do absolutely anything to have what you have? You might as well slap them across the face and laugh at their dreams.


And Id like to respond to this particular message from Sean: "When you're on your deathbed, ready to leave loved ones behind... Just remember to suck it up! There are people worse off than you."

Indeed, there are, and I will. Hopefully by that stage (whether it be tomorrow or when Im 80 years old), I will have realised the full gift of life and made the most of it, while so many others havent. So, of course Ill suck it up! Ill be the happy one on my death bed, knowing that the only people worse off than me are those that havent realised how beautiful and special life is.

Love to you all,

Rob
 
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