Jbenjamin152
New member
Being told that you are doomed from day number 1 has had a profound impact on the whole cystic fibrosis community. I started thinking, how am I going to die in my early teens, nothing that I could do can change my diagnosis EVER. Yes I have had the normal hard CF life, meds , hospital stays longer and longer, harder recoveries.... No one with cf or ANY other disease that is chronic/terminal can say that they don't thnk about death. I believe that death will come to each of us, no one can avoid it. NONE OF US WILL MAKE IT OUT ALIVE Jim Morison from the doors said that and then within a few years he took his own life. To help with the thoughts I have surrounded myself with reasons to stay on this earth as long as humanly possible. Children, Wife, Dog, and a passion for collecting, buying and selling rare coins. It's hard not to think about death. My wife is more than understanding of this than most people. There have been times that I find myself awake at 3am, in bed trying to sleep and all I can do is think, think about how are my children going to grow up, are they going to be big, strong, honest. I also find myself afraid of death in these wee hours in the early morning. Afraid of wether if I fall asleep if I will be able to wake up or will this all turn out to be a crazy long dream. There were mornings that I use to, as a teen, not be able to sleep at all because the thoughts got worse. I sometimes found myself asleep and or warn out for days to because of these thoughts. I get them much less since I have reasons to be not depressed...or even worrying about death at times. There are times it's hard not to think about it...