Can't vs. Shouldn't

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MCGrad2006

Guest
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>I have seen many people on this site who are doing things they should not be, and I have seen many people give up and decided they cannot, when I know they can. It is tough, but I cannot judge when I have a hard enough time trying to determine what it is I should be (or should not be) doing.</end quote></div>

I completely agree with you Barb. So many people grow up diferent ways and with the completely different progressions of CF its totally a different story for everyone. I hope that I didnt offend anyone in my previous post <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-blush.gif" border="0"> , thats just a culmination of how I grew up and how my disease has progressed. I have always felt that I should do more and push myself harder to attain my goals. And like I said I need to do it while I still can. Thank you for your insight Lightnlife, I appreciate it. I hope that we can all work together to support each other on here. CF is so different among all of us, and we need to be able to be there for each other. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 
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sue35

New member
I couldn't tell anyone what they could or should do. I don't think anyone can being that they do not know everything about that person. I agree that Cers marry earlier but how can you tell if it is a wrong or right idea? Isn't that really between those two. I agree with the other poster, how could I determine what others should do when I don't really know what I should do?
 
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sue35

New member
I couldn't tell anyone what they could or should do. I don't think anyone can being that they do not know everything about that person. I agree that Cers marry earlier but how can you tell if it is a wrong or right idea? Isn't that really between those two. I agree with the other poster, how could I determine what others should do when I don't really know what I should do?
 
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sue35

New member
I couldn't tell anyone what they could or should do. I don't think anyone can being that they do not know everything about that person. I agree that Cers marry earlier but how can you tell if it is a wrong or right idea? Isn't that really between those two. I agree with the other poster, how could I determine what others should do when I don't really know what I should do?
 
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lightNlife

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>sue35</b></i>

How could I determine what others should do when I don't really know what I should do?</end quote></div>

Is determining what "should" be done really so difficult? If so, it doesn't need to be.

Although I cannot know the eventual outcomes or consequences of my decisions, having a sense of what "should" be done on an individual level has never been a real struggle for me. I've made foolish decisions, that's for sure, but I don't think I'm made bad ones. A sense of right and wrong, cost and benefit, even self preservation drives me. Decisions made with those things in mind make life less of a challenge in many ways.
 
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lightNlife

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>sue35</b></i>

How could I determine what others should do when I don't really know what I should do?</end quote></div>

Is determining what "should" be done really so difficult? If so, it doesn't need to be.

Although I cannot know the eventual outcomes or consequences of my decisions, having a sense of what "should" be done on an individual level has never been a real struggle for me. I've made foolish decisions, that's for sure, but I don't think I'm made bad ones. A sense of right and wrong, cost and benefit, even self preservation drives me. Decisions made with those things in mind make life less of a challenge in many ways.
 
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lightNlife

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>sue35</b></i>

How could I determine what others should do when I don't really know what I should do?</end quote></div>

Is determining what "should" be done really so difficult? If so, it doesn't need to be.

Although I cannot know the eventual outcomes or consequences of my decisions, having a sense of what "should" be done on an individual level has never been a real struggle for me. I've made foolish decisions, that's for sure, but I don't think I'm made bad ones. A sense of right and wrong, cost and benefit, even self preservation drives me. Decisions made with those things in mind make life less of a challenge in many ways.
 
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lightNlife

New member
The point is that it's thought provoking. Forums, in their original philosophical sense were designed for a free exchange of thoughts and ideas.

So often in here the forums are a Q&A, and I wanted to ponder a bigger picture for a change.
 
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lightNlife

New member
The point is that it's thought provoking. Forums, in their original philosophical sense were designed for a free exchange of thoughts and ideas.

So often in here the forums are a Q&A, and I wanted to ponder a bigger picture for a change.
 
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lightNlife

New member
The point is that it's thought provoking. Forums, in their original philosophical sense were designed for a free exchange of thoughts and ideas.

So often in here the forums are a Q&A, and I wanted to ponder a bigger picture for a change.
 
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wanderlost

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Allie</b></i>


I'm interested in marriage and society anyhow, but especially as it pertains to CF. And this: <div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>I have seen CFers rush into marriage because they felt like they had to beat the clock before the time ran out on their lifespan.</end quote></div> is something I see a lot of. Settling for "okay" so they can be married, and ending up in a bad or tepid marriage. That unsettles me. It's my experience that love doesn't really begin to fall into place until you let go of the idea of needing to be married. It didn't for me until I let the idea go.
.</end quote></div>

OK, but who do we know that has done this because of CF?
My personal situation, marriage and Cf had nothing to do with one another.
I think as a child I alwasys dreamed of becoming a mom and I think that Cf did have something to do wit that, but reality is I got pregnant with my first accidetnally....so you might argue a subconscious desire was fulfilled - but I digress, back to marriage -

have we had people post here who have admitted that they married only because the Cf clock was ticking? Do you know people IRL?
And at what point did they realize that that was what they had done? Was it a conscious decision like, "I better get married now before time runs out even if you aren't THE ONE?" or was it a retrospective thing, "This isn't working out, I guess I rushed into it for reasons other than love, etc.?"
 
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