Oh you poor thing, i know exactly how you feel, i am in a similar boat, except my poison of choice to destroy myself with is marijuana. Yep, a CFer with a several times a day pot habit, brilliant. Oh and did i mention i add tobacco to it as well? Just to really make it as damaging to my lungs as possible. I'm an incredibly smart girl <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-frown.gif" border="0">
I've been to so many counsellors, psychologists and even pyschiatrists over the years to try and deal with my depression and habit issues and none of it has made a blind bit of difference. I'm as much a depressed addict now as i was twenty years ago, with all the same self esteem issues. Personally, unless you have a specific personality type, i don't think these so called mental health professionals work at all, all they have done is emptied my pockets and destroyed my faith in the pysch profession.
I get like you, despondent. I ask myself 'what is the point in beating my addiciton when CF is killing me anyway?' It numbs me and takes away the reality and the pain for a while, which nothing else seems to be able to do.
My best CF friend died on Saturday morning at 23 years old, and having been in recovery for a few months, i fell off the wagon big time and have been basically stoned ever since.
I'm sorry i have nothing to offer you in the way of advice, i'm trying very hard to even care about living myself at the moment. But i just wanted you to know, you are not alone with this and i understand exactly how you are feeling and how incredibly hard recovery is.
I hope things pick up for you and you are able to kick the drink again <img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">
I've been to so many counsellors, psychologists and even pyschiatrists over the years to try and deal with my depression and habit issues and none of it has made a blind bit of difference. I'm as much a depressed addict now as i was twenty years ago, with all the same self esteem issues. Personally, unless you have a specific personality type, i don't think these so called mental health professionals work at all, all they have done is emptied my pockets and destroyed my faith in the pysch profession.
I get like you, despondent. I ask myself 'what is the point in beating my addiciton when CF is killing me anyway?' It numbs me and takes away the reality and the pain for a while, which nothing else seems to be able to do.
My best CF friend died on Saturday morning at 23 years old, and having been in recovery for a few months, i fell off the wagon big time and have been basically stoned ever since.
I'm sorry i have nothing to offer you in the way of advice, i'm trying very hard to even care about living myself at the moment. But i just wanted you to know, you are not alone with this and i understand exactly how you are feeling and how incredibly hard recovery is.
I hope things pick up for you and you are able to kick the drink again <img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">