cf alcoholics

KrazyKat · Aug 3, 2009

Oh you poor thing, i know exactly how you feel, i am in a similar boat, except my poison of choice to destroy myself with is marijuana. Yep, a CFer with a several times a day pot habit, brilliant. Oh and did i mention i add tobacco to it as well? Just to really make it as damaging to my lungs as possible. I'm an incredibly smart girl <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-frown.gif" border="0">

I've been to so many counsellors, psychologists and even pyschiatrists over the years to try and deal with my depression and habit issues and none of it has made a blind bit of difference. I'm as much a depressed addict now as i was twenty years ago, with all the same self esteem issues. Personally, unless you have a specific personality type, i don't think these so called mental health professionals work at all, all they have done is emptied my pockets and destroyed my faith in the pysch profession.

I get like you, despondent. I ask myself 'what is the point in beating my addiciton when CF is killing me anyway?' It numbs me and takes away the reality and the pain for a while, which nothing else seems to be able to do.

My best CF friend died on Saturday morning at 23 years old, and having been in recovery for a few months, i fell off the wagon big time and have been basically stoned ever since.

I'm sorry i have nothing to offer you in the way of advice, i'm trying very hard to even care about living myself at the moment. But i just wanted you to know, you are not alone with this and i understand exactly how you are feeling and how incredibly hard recovery is.

I hope things pick up for you and you are able to kick the drink again <img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">

KrazyKat · Aug 3, 2009

Oh you poor thing, i know exactly how you feel, i am in a similar boat, except my poison of choice to destroy myself with is marijuana. Yep, a CFer with a several times a day pot habit, brilliant. Oh and did i mention i add tobacco to it as well? Just to really make it as damaging to my lungs as possible. I'm an incredibly smart girl <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-frown.gif" border="0">

I've been to so many counsellors, psychologists and even pyschiatrists over the years to try and deal with my depression and habit issues and none of it has made a blind bit of difference. I'm as much a depressed addict now as i was twenty years ago, with all the same self esteem issues. Personally, unless you have a specific personality type, i don't think these so called mental health professionals work at all, all they have done is emptied my pockets and destroyed my faith in the pysch profession.

I get like you, despondent. I ask myself 'what is the point in beating my addiciton when CF is killing me anyway?' It numbs me and takes away the reality and the pain for a while, which nothing else seems to be able to do.

My best CF friend died on Saturday morning at 23 years old, and having been in recovery for a few months, i fell off the wagon big time and have been basically stoned ever since.

I'm sorry i have nothing to offer you in the way of advice, i'm trying very hard to even care about living myself at the moment. But i just wanted you to know, you are not alone with this and i understand exactly how you are feeling and how incredibly hard recovery is.

I hope things pick up for you and you are able to kick the drink again <img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">

KrazyKat · Aug 3, 2009

Oh you poor thing, i know exactly how you feel, i am in a similar boat, except my poison of choice to destroy myself with is marijuana. Yep, a CFer with a several times a day pot habit, brilliant. Oh and did i mention i add tobacco to it as well? Just to really make it as damaging to my lungs as possible. I'm an incredibly smart girl <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-frown.gif" border="0">

I've been to so many counsellors, psychologists and even pyschiatrists over the years to try and deal with my depression and habit issues and none of it has made a blind bit of difference. I'm as much a depressed addict now as i was twenty years ago, with all the same self esteem issues. Personally, unless you have a specific personality type, i don't think these so called mental health professionals work at all, all they have done is emptied my pockets and destroyed my faith in the pysch profession.

I get like you, despondent. I ask myself 'what is the point in beating my addiciton when CF is killing me anyway?' It numbs me and takes away the reality and the pain for a while, which nothing else seems to be able to do.

My best CF friend died on Saturday morning at 23 years old, and having been in recovery for a few months, i fell off the wagon big time and have been basically stoned ever since.

I'm sorry i have nothing to offer you in the way of advice, i'm trying very hard to even care about living myself at the moment. But i just wanted you to know, you are not alone with this and i understand exactly how you are feeling and how incredibly hard recovery is.

I hope things pick up for you and you are able to kick the drink again <img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">

KrazyKat · Aug 3, 2009

Oh you poor thing, i know exactly how you feel, i am in a similar boat, except my poison of choice to destroy myself with is marijuana. Yep, a CFer with a several times a day pot habit, brilliant. Oh and did i mention i add tobacco to it as well? Just to really make it as damaging to my lungs as possible. I'm an incredibly smart girl <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-frown.gif" border="0">

I've been to so many counsellors, psychologists and even pyschiatrists over the years to try and deal with my depression and habit issues and none of it has made a blind bit of difference. I'm as much a depressed addict now as i was twenty years ago, with all the same self esteem issues. Personally, unless you have a specific personality type, i don't think these so called mental health professionals work at all, all they have done is emptied my pockets and destroyed my faith in the pysch profession.

I get like you, despondent. I ask myself 'what is the point in beating my addiciton when CF is killing me anyway?' It numbs me and takes away the reality and the pain for a while, which nothing else seems to be able to do.

My best CF friend died on Saturday morning at 23 years old, and having been in recovery for a few months, i fell off the wagon big time and have been basically stoned ever since.

I'm sorry i have nothing to offer you in the way of advice, i'm trying very hard to even care about living myself at the moment. But i just wanted you to know, you are not alone with this and i understand exactly how you are feeling and how incredibly hard recovery is.

I hope things pick up for you and you are able to kick the drink again <img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">

KrazyKat · Aug 3, 2009

Oh you poor thing, i know exactly how you feel, i am in a similar boat, except my poison of choice to destroy myself with is marijuana. Yep, a CFer with a several times a day pot habit, brilliant. Oh and did i mention i add tobacco to it as well? Just to really make it as damaging to my lungs as possible. I'm an incredibly smart girl <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-frown.gif" border="0">
 
 I've been to so many counsellors, psychologists and even pyschiatrists over the years to try and deal with my depression and habit issues and none of it has made a blind bit of difference. I'm as much a depressed addict now as i was twenty years ago, with all the same self esteem issues. Personally, unless you have a specific personality type, i don't think these so called mental health professionals work at all, all they have done is emptied my pockets and destroyed my faith in the pysch profession.
 
 I get like you, despondent. I ask myself 'what is the point in beating my addiciton when CF is killing me anyway?' It numbs me and takes away the reality and the pain for a while, which nothing else seems to be able to do.
 
 My best CF friend died on Saturday morning at 23 years old, and having been in recovery for a few months, i fell off the wagon big time and have been basically stoned ever since.
 
 I'm sorry i have nothing to offer you in the way of advice, i'm trying very hard to even care about living myself at the moment. But i just wanted you to know, you are not alone with this and i understand exactly how you are feeling and how incredibly hard recovery is.
 
 I hope things pick up for you and you are able to kick the drink again <img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">

lilywing · Aug 3, 2009

Thank you for your responses,
I have been in counselling in the past and am currently under "investigation" for "obsessive compulsive disorder" by my CF team. To take my mind off of staying sober, I turned my focus onto eating, and through restriction and being SUPER anal, I had lost over 25 pounds in 3 months. I guess what it comes down to is that I don't trust myself with any amount of freedom...i know i will self-destruct if left up to my own devices. so by not eating, i was in control, and it took up the HUGE focus of staying sober, which, (by the way) i think was the best thing i ever did!!! for anyone considering alcohol and the role it plays in your life....alcohol sucks if you abuse it...no two ways about it. A CF friend died 2 weeks ago, and i think i used that as an excuse to keep on drinking. Everyone around me has been so supportive of my attempt (and until july 12 - - SUCCESS!!!!) at being sober. I hate the thought of telling people that i have fucked up again!

lilywing · Aug 3, 2009

Thank you for your responses,
I have been in counselling in the past and am currently under "investigation" for "obsessive compulsive disorder" by my CF team. To take my mind off of staying sober, I turned my focus onto eating, and through restriction and being SUPER anal, I had lost over 25 pounds in 3 months. I guess what it comes down to is that I don't trust myself with any amount of freedom...i know i will self-destruct if left up to my own devices. so by not eating, i was in control, and it took up the HUGE focus of staying sober, which, (by the way) i think was the best thing i ever did!!! for anyone considering alcohol and the role it plays in your life....alcohol sucks if you abuse it...no two ways about it. A CF friend died 2 weeks ago, and i think i used that as an excuse to keep on drinking. Everyone around me has been so supportive of my attempt (and until july 12 - - SUCCESS!!!!) at being sober. I hate the thought of telling people that i have fucked up again!

lilywing · Aug 3, 2009

Thank you for your responses,
I have been in counselling in the past and am currently under "investigation" for "obsessive compulsive disorder" by my CF team. To take my mind off of staying sober, I turned my focus onto eating, and through restriction and being SUPER anal, I had lost over 25 pounds in 3 months. I guess what it comes down to is that I don't trust myself with any amount of freedom...i know i will self-destruct if left up to my own devices. so by not eating, i was in control, and it took up the HUGE focus of staying sober, which, (by the way) i think was the best thing i ever did!!! for anyone considering alcohol and the role it plays in your life....alcohol sucks if you abuse it...no two ways about it. A CF friend died 2 weeks ago, and i think i used that as an excuse to keep on drinking. Everyone around me has been so supportive of my attempt (and until july 12 - - SUCCESS!!!!) at being sober. I hate the thought of telling people that i have fucked up again!

lilywing · Aug 3, 2009

Thank you for your responses,
I have been in counselling in the past and am currently under "investigation" for "obsessive compulsive disorder" by my CF team. To take my mind off of staying sober, I turned my focus onto eating, and through restriction and being SUPER anal, I had lost over 25 pounds in 3 months. I guess what it comes down to is that I don't trust myself with any amount of freedom...i know i will self-destruct if left up to my own devices. so by not eating, i was in control, and it took up the HUGE focus of staying sober, which, (by the way) i think was the best thing i ever did!!! for anyone considering alcohol and the role it plays in your life....alcohol sucks if you abuse it...no two ways about it. A CF friend died 2 weeks ago, and i think i used that as an excuse to keep on drinking. Everyone around me has been so supportive of my attempt (and until july 12 - - SUCCESS!!!!) at being sober. I hate the thought of telling people that i have fucked up again!

lilywing · Aug 3, 2009

Thank you for your responses,
 I have been in counselling in the past and am currently under "investigation" for "obsessive compulsive disorder" by my CF team. To take my mind off of staying sober, I turned my focus onto eating, and through restriction and being SUPER anal, I had lost over 25 pounds in 3 months. I guess what it comes down to is that I don't trust myself with any amount of freedom...i know i will self-destruct if left up to my own devices. so by not eating, i was in control, and it took up the HUGE focus of staying sober, which, (by the way) i think was the best thing i ever did!!! for anyone considering alcohol and the role it plays in your life....alcohol sucks if you abuse it...no two ways about it. A CF friend died 2 weeks ago, and i think i used that as an excuse to keep on drinking. Everyone around me has been so supportive of my attempt (and until july 12 - - SUCCESS!!!!) at being sober. I hate the thought of telling people that i have fucked up again!

jdubbs · Aug 5, 2009

Hey Lily -

For what it's worth, I understand your struggle with alcohol. Basically, as you were just saying, the easiest way to avoid it is to make goals that incompatible with drinking. So, if you're in a rut, try to make another goal. Forget about the slip up, it happens. This is all easier said than done of course. Good luck! You could also try AA.

jdubbs · Aug 5, 2009

Hey Lily -

For what it's worth, I understand your struggle with alcohol. Basically, as you were just saying, the easiest way to avoid it is to make goals that incompatible with drinking. So, if you're in a rut, try to make another goal. Forget about the slip up, it happens. This is all easier said than done of course. Good luck! You could also try AA.

jdubbs · Aug 5, 2009

Hey Lily -

For what it's worth, I understand your struggle with alcohol. Basically, as you were just saying, the easiest way to avoid it is to make goals that incompatible with drinking. So, if you're in a rut, try to make another goal. Forget about the slip up, it happens. This is all easier said than done of course. Good luck! You could also try AA.

jdubbs · Aug 5, 2009

Hey Lily -

For what it's worth, I understand your struggle with alcohol. Basically, as you were just saying, the easiest way to avoid it is to make goals that incompatible with drinking. So, if you're in a rut, try to make another goal. Forget about the slip up, it happens. This is all easier said than done of course. Good luck! You could also try AA.

jdubbs · Aug 5, 2009

Hey Lily -
 
 For what it's worth, I understand your struggle with alcohol. Basically, as you were just saying, the easiest way to avoid it is to make goals that incompatible with drinking. So, if you're in a rut, try to make another goal. Forget about the slip up, it happens. This is all easier said than done of course. Good luck! You could also try AA.

beleache · Aug 5, 2009

{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}} to you Kelly.. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.. May your friend RIP & Breath easy now <img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">

<img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0"> joni

beleache · Aug 5, 2009

{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}} to you Kelly.. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.. May your friend RIP & Breath easy now <img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">

<img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0"> joni

beleache · Aug 5, 2009

{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}} to you Kelly.. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.. May your friend RIP & Breath easy now <img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">

<img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0"> joni

beleache · Aug 5, 2009

{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}} to you Kelly.. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.. May your friend RIP & Breath easy now <img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">

<img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0"> joni

beleache · Aug 5, 2009

{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}} to you Kelly.. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.. May your friend RIP & Breath easy now <img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">
 
 <img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0"> joni

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