CF and Divorce

Asexyblond23 · Oct 2, 2007

I was married before also. My ex always said that he understood my Cf and was there for me but one night I saw a story on dateline about a little girl with cf and she passed away young. I walked out of the house and stood in the driveway next to the car and brokedown. I had never done that before and it all just came out. My husband then walked out and stood there, he was like whats wrong I told him and he was like you will live long and it will be ok. He didnt hug me or console me or talk with me or even try anything it was just like he was sayin it will be ok suck it up. I never had felt so alone in my life. Thats when it hit me that no he istn in this with me. He could put up a good act but when it came down to it he wasnt in this for us, just him. I found out other ways also everytime I went into the hospital it was a hassle for him. Its really hard to feel like you are casing them to not handle everything. But you know what I have learned from him and that marriage that if he wasnt 100% commited to us then he wasnt the one for me. When it came down to it years down the road and I would be there for a transplant and i looked into his eyes, I would want to see the pure love for me shining back the strenght that he would give me and the want that he would protray for me to beat this Cf. With him that wouldnt of been there, it would of been an act and that would of been even harder on me to feel that I was fighting this alone. It took a while for me but I came to relize that life without someone who isnt ther for us 100% isnt healthy for us. Dont blame your cf. It wasnt cf, if she was truly in the marriage for love with you and a happy life then cf wouldnt of mattered. If you ever want to talk Im here.

Asexyblond23 · Oct 2, 2007

I was married before also. My ex always said that he understood my Cf and was there for me but one night I saw a story on dateline about a little girl with cf and she passed away young. I walked out of the house and stood in the driveway next to the car and brokedown. I had never done that before and it all just came out. My husband then walked out and stood there, he was like whats wrong I told him and he was like you will live long and it will be ok. He didnt hug me or console me or talk with me or even try anything it was just like he was sayin it will be ok suck it up. I never had felt so alone in my life. Thats when it hit me that no he istn in this with me. He could put up a good act but when it came down to it he wasnt in this for us, just him. I found out other ways also everytime I went into the hospital it was a hassle for him. Its really hard to feel like you are casing them to not handle everything. But you know what I have learned from him and that marriage that if he wasnt 100% commited to us then he wasnt the one for me. When it came down to it years down the road and I would be there for a transplant and i looked into his eyes, I would want to see the pure love for me shining back the strenght that he would give me and the want that he would protray for me to beat this Cf. With him that wouldnt of been there, it would of been an act and that would of been even harder on me to feel that I was fighting this alone. It took a while for me but I came to relize that life without someone who isnt ther for us 100% isnt healthy for us. Dont blame your cf. It wasnt cf, if she was truly in the marriage for love with you and a happy life then cf wouldnt of mattered. If you ever want to talk Im here.

Asexyblond23 · Oct 2, 2007

I was married before also. My ex always said that he understood my Cf and was there for me but one night I saw a story on dateline about a little girl with cf and she passed away young. I walked out of the house and stood in the driveway next to the car and brokedown. I had never done that before and it all just came out. My husband then walked out and stood there, he was like whats wrong I told him and he was like you will live long and it will be ok. He didnt hug me or console me or talk with me or even try anything it was just like he was sayin it will be ok suck it up. I never had felt so alone in my life. Thats when it hit me that no he istn in this with me. He could put up a good act but when it came down to it he wasnt in this for us, just him. I found out other ways also everytime I went into the hospital it was a hassle for him. Its really hard to feel like you are casing them to not handle everything. But you know what I have learned from him and that marriage that if he wasnt 100% commited to us then he wasnt the one for me. When it came down to it years down the road and I would be there for a transplant and i looked into his eyes, I would want to see the pure love for me shining back the strenght that he would give me and the want that he would protray for me to beat this Cf. With him that wouldnt of been there, it would of been an act and that would of been even harder on me to feel that I was fighting this alone. It took a while for me but I came to relize that life without someone who isnt ther for us 100% isnt healthy for us. Dont blame your cf. It wasnt cf, if she was truly in the marriage for love with you and a happy life then cf wouldnt of mattered. If you ever want to talk Im here.

Asexyblond23 · Oct 2, 2007

I was married before also. My ex always said that he understood my Cf and was there for me but one night I saw a story on dateline about a little girl with cf and she passed away young. I walked out of the house and stood in the driveway next to the car and brokedown. I had never done that before and it all just came out. My husband then walked out and stood there, he was like whats wrong I told him and he was like you will live long and it will be ok. He didnt hug me or console me or talk with me or even try anything it was just like he was sayin it will be ok suck it up. I never had felt so alone in my life. Thats when it hit me that no he istn in this with me. He could put up a good act but when it came down to it he wasnt in this for us, just him. I found out other ways also everytime I went into the hospital it was a hassle for him. Its really hard to feel like you are casing them to not handle everything. But you know what I have learned from him and that marriage that if he wasnt 100% commited to us then he wasnt the one for me. When it came down to it years down the road and I would be there for a transplant and i looked into his eyes, I would want to see the pure love for me shining back the strenght that he would give me and the want that he would protray for me to beat this Cf. With him that wouldnt of been there, it would of been an act and that would of been even harder on me to feel that I was fighting this alone. It took a while for me but I came to relize that life without someone who isnt ther for us 100% isnt healthy for us. Dont blame your cf. It wasnt cf, if she was truly in the marriage for love with you and a happy life then cf wouldnt of mattered. If you ever want to talk Im here.

Asexyblond23 · Oct 2, 2007

I was married before also. My ex always said that he understood my Cf and was there for me but one night I saw a story on dateline about a little girl with cf and she passed away young. I walked out of the house and stood in the driveway next to the car and brokedown. I had never done that before and it all just came out. My husband then walked out and stood there, he was like whats wrong I told him and he was like you will live long and it will be ok. He didnt hug me or console me or talk with me or even try anything it was just like he was sayin it will be ok suck it up. I never had felt so alone in my life. Thats when it hit me that no he istn in this with me. He could put up a good act but when it came down to it he wasnt in this for us, just him. I found out other ways also everytime I went into the hospital it was a hassle for him. Its really hard to feel like you are casing them to not handle everything. But you know what I have learned from him and that marriage that if he wasnt 100% commited to us then he wasnt the one for me. When it came down to it years down the road and I would be there for a transplant and i looked into his eyes, I would want to see the pure love for me shining back the strenght that he would give me and the want that he would protray for me to beat this Cf. With him that wouldnt of been there, it would of been an act and that would of been even harder on me to feel that I was fighting this alone. It took a while for me but I came to relize that life without someone who isnt ther for us 100% isnt healthy for us. Dont blame your cf. It wasnt cf, if she was truly in the marriage for love with you and a happy life then cf wouldnt of mattered. If you ever want to talk Im here.

Diane · Oct 2, 2007

When i was going thru my divorce, i wound up getting very sick very often and thinking it was just the stress and depression of it all. Then i was diagnosed with b.cepacia. That was so hard to deal with along with the loss of my marriage , my dreams, and my beloved Oskar( my pet iguana) who had just passed away. It takes time to pick the pieces up, but somewhere along the way you will do it. You will find a reson to go on and find other things that can make you happy. Maybe you can start a new hobby.... Or rent a favorite movie and invite friends over for pizza. I have to say that having my friends around a lot really helped me recover and feel cared about. Going thru a divorce is tough on anyone but it is really tough when you are dealing with the issue of cf. I am thinking it probably had nothing to do with your cf as to why she chose to leave. After all she married you knowing you had it. Sometimes people do fall out of love for one reason or another and need something to blame it on, but chances are it had nothing to do with cf. When you fall in love it is with the person, everything else comes second. It took me years to figure that out but it is true. It is better that she left and you are free of her, rather than stay in a unhappy marriage far too long. It is time to take care of you now and focus all of your attention on you. I dont recall your health status, but maybe walking on a treadmill once a day or even outside would help to clear your mind and also help your lungs as well. There is nothing better than to excell at what you do and do better health wise after the person who hurt you is gone. It is like a silent revenge almost, and also will give you a boost in the emotional area. Do you have a pet? Maybe getting a pet would help you focus your attention on something else. I wound up building a hotrod, meeting new people and joining a car club and making some good friends. I have to say i am so happy now and when i was first going thru the divorce , i never would have thought i could ever say that. It just takes time and lots of talking things out and rationalizing it out in your own mind and heart. Im always here if you need a shoulder <img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">

Diane · Oct 2, 2007

When i was going thru my divorce, i wound up getting very sick very often and thinking it was just the stress and depression of it all. Then i was diagnosed with b.cepacia. That was so hard to deal with along with the loss of my marriage , my dreams, and my beloved Oskar( my pet iguana) who had just passed away. It takes time to pick the pieces up, but somewhere along the way you will do it. You will find a reson to go on and find other things that can make you happy. Maybe you can start a new hobby.... Or rent a favorite movie and invite friends over for pizza. I have to say that having my friends around a lot really helped me recover and feel cared about. Going thru a divorce is tough on anyone but it is really tough when you are dealing with the issue of cf. I am thinking it probably had nothing to do with your cf as to why she chose to leave. After all she married you knowing you had it. Sometimes people do fall out of love for one reason or another and need something to blame it on, but chances are it had nothing to do with cf. When you fall in love it is with the person, everything else comes second. It took me years to figure that out but it is true. It is better that she left and you are free of her, rather than stay in a unhappy marriage far too long. It is time to take care of you now and focus all of your attention on you. I dont recall your health status, but maybe walking on a treadmill once a day or even outside would help to clear your mind and also help your lungs as well. There is nothing better than to excell at what you do and do better health wise after the person who hurt you is gone. It is like a silent revenge almost, and also will give you a boost in the emotional area. Do you have a pet? Maybe getting a pet would help you focus your attention on something else. I wound up building a hotrod, meeting new people and joining a car club and making some good friends. I have to say i am so happy now and when i was first going thru the divorce , i never would have thought i could ever say that. It just takes time and lots of talking things out and rationalizing it out in your own mind and heart. Im always here if you need a shoulder <img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">

Diane · Oct 2, 2007

When i was going thru my divorce, i wound up getting very sick very often and thinking it was just the stress and depression of it all. Then i was diagnosed with b.cepacia. That was so hard to deal with along with the loss of my marriage , my dreams, and my beloved Oskar( my pet iguana) who had just passed away. It takes time to pick the pieces up, but somewhere along the way you will do it. You will find a reson to go on and find other things that can make you happy. Maybe you can start a new hobby.... Or rent a favorite movie and invite friends over for pizza. I have to say that having my friends around a lot really helped me recover and feel cared about. Going thru a divorce is tough on anyone but it is really tough when you are dealing with the issue of cf. I am thinking it probably had nothing to do with your cf as to why she chose to leave. After all she married you knowing you had it. Sometimes people do fall out of love for one reason or another and need something to blame it on, but chances are it had nothing to do with cf. When you fall in love it is with the person, everything else comes second. It took me years to figure that out but it is true. It is better that she left and you are free of her, rather than stay in a unhappy marriage far too long. It is time to take care of you now and focus all of your attention on you. I dont recall your health status, but maybe walking on a treadmill once a day or even outside would help to clear your mind and also help your lungs as well. There is nothing better than to excell at what you do and do better health wise after the person who hurt you is gone. It is like a silent revenge almost, and also will give you a boost in the emotional area. Do you have a pet? Maybe getting a pet would help you focus your attention on something else. I wound up building a hotrod, meeting new people and joining a car club and making some good friends. I have to say i am so happy now and when i was first going thru the divorce , i never would have thought i could ever say that. It just takes time and lots of talking things out and rationalizing it out in your own mind and heart. Im always here if you need a shoulder <img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">

Diane · Oct 2, 2007

When i was going thru my divorce, i wound up getting very sick very often and thinking it was just the stress and depression of it all. Then i was diagnosed with b.cepacia. That was so hard to deal with along with the loss of my marriage , my dreams, and my beloved Oskar( my pet iguana) who had just passed away. It takes time to pick the pieces up, but somewhere along the way you will do it. You will find a reson to go on and find other things that can make you happy. Maybe you can start a new hobby.... Or rent a favorite movie and invite friends over for pizza. I have to say that having my friends around a lot really helped me recover and feel cared about. Going thru a divorce is tough on anyone but it is really tough when you are dealing with the issue of cf. I am thinking it probably had nothing to do with your cf as to why she chose to leave. After all she married you knowing you had it. Sometimes people do fall out of love for one reason or another and need something to blame it on, but chances are it had nothing to do with cf. When you fall in love it is with the person, everything else comes second. It took me years to figure that out but it is true. It is better that she left and you are free of her, rather than stay in a unhappy marriage far too long. It is time to take care of you now and focus all of your attention on you. I dont recall your health status, but maybe walking on a treadmill once a day or even outside would help to clear your mind and also help your lungs as well. There is nothing better than to excell at what you do and do better health wise after the person who hurt you is gone. It is like a silent revenge almost, and also will give you a boost in the emotional area. Do you have a pet? Maybe getting a pet would help you focus your attention on something else. I wound up building a hotrod, meeting new people and joining a car club and making some good friends. I have to say i am so happy now and when i was first going thru the divorce , i never would have thought i could ever say that. It just takes time and lots of talking things out and rationalizing it out in your own mind and heart. Im always here if you need a shoulder <img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">

Diane · Oct 2, 2007

When i was going thru my divorce, i wound up getting very sick very often and thinking it was just the stress and depression of it all. Then i was diagnosed with b.cepacia. That was so hard to deal with along with the loss of my marriage , my dreams, and my beloved Oskar( my pet iguana) who had just passed away. It takes time to pick the pieces up, but somewhere along the way you will do it. You will find a reson to go on and find other things that can make you happy. Maybe you can start a new hobby.... Or rent a favorite movie and invite friends over for pizza. I have to say that having my friends around a lot really helped me recover and feel cared about. Going thru a divorce is tough on anyone but it is really tough when you are dealing with the issue of cf. I am thinking it probably had nothing to do with your cf as to why she chose to leave. After all she married you knowing you had it. Sometimes people do fall out of love for one reason or another and need something to blame it on, but chances are it had nothing to do with cf. When you fall in love it is with the person, everything else comes second. It took me years to figure that out but it is true. It is better that she left and you are free of her, rather than stay in a unhappy marriage far too long. It is time to take care of you now and focus all of your attention on you. I dont recall your health status, but maybe walking on a treadmill once a day or even outside would help to clear your mind and also help your lungs as well. There is nothing better than to excell at what you do and do better health wise after the person who hurt you is gone. It is like a silent revenge almost, and also will give you a boost in the emotional area. Do you have a pet? Maybe getting a pet would help you focus your attention on something else. I wound up building a hotrod, meeting new people and joining a car club and making some good friends. I have to say i am so happy now and when i was first going thru the divorce , i never would have thought i could ever say that. It just takes time and lots of talking things out and rationalizing it out in your own mind and heart. Im always here if you need a shoulder <img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">

catchastar · Oct 2, 2007

First of all let me say that I echo what everybody else has said -this sucks and there's no way around that. I also got divorced (when I was 30 yrs old) and my husband definitely cheated on me - he hoped I would never findout and just move away but it didn't happen like that. One thing I learned throughout it was that anything he said was just a lie - a lie to protect himself from being found out, a lie to protect himself from being embarassed... a lie to keep from having to deal directly with my emotions/feelings.

Like somebody said above, I guess my thought is that the statements about leaving you because of CF are in some ways lies - made to justify what she has done. The one thing you have to remember is to take care of yourself. I really shied away from taking care of myself and now I can't help but wonder if I would have better lung function if I hadn't been so careless and self absorbed in my depression.

The things that helped me were 1) anti-depressants, and 2) a church support group where there were other individuals going through the same thing. I met some new people who I was able to socialize with and knew understood the things I was going through emotionally with the divorce.

Pleaes feel free to PM me anytime - I know thisis a hard thing to go through and sometimes friends just don't get it. -

catchastar · Oct 2, 2007

First of all let me say that I echo what everybody else has said -this sucks and there's no way around that. I also got divorced (when I was 30 yrs old) and my husband definitely cheated on me - he hoped I would never findout and just move away but it didn't happen like that. One thing I learned throughout it was that anything he said was just a lie - a lie to protect himself from being found out, a lie to protect himself from being embarassed... a lie to keep from having to deal directly with my emotions/feelings.

Like somebody said above, I guess my thought is that the statements about leaving you because of CF are in some ways lies - made to justify what she has done. The one thing you have to remember is to take care of yourself. I really shied away from taking care of myself and now I can't help but wonder if I would have better lung function if I hadn't been so careless and self absorbed in my depression.

The things that helped me were 1) anti-depressants, and 2) a church support group where there were other individuals going through the same thing. I met some new people who I was able to socialize with and knew understood the things I was going through emotionally with the divorce.

Pleaes feel free to PM me anytime - I know thisis a hard thing to go through and sometimes friends just don't get it. -

catchastar · Oct 2, 2007

First of all let me say that I echo what everybody else has said -this sucks and there's no way around that. I also got divorced (when I was 30 yrs old) and my husband definitely cheated on me - he hoped I would never findout and just move away but it didn't happen like that. One thing I learned throughout it was that anything he said was just a lie - a lie to protect himself from being found out, a lie to protect himself from being embarassed... a lie to keep from having to deal directly with my emotions/feelings.

Like somebody said above, I guess my thought is that the statements about leaving you because of CF are in some ways lies - made to justify what she has done. The one thing you have to remember is to take care of yourself. I really shied away from taking care of myself and now I can't help but wonder if I would have better lung function if I hadn't been so careless and self absorbed in my depression.

The things that helped me were 1) anti-depressants, and 2) a church support group where there were other individuals going through the same thing. I met some new people who I was able to socialize with and knew understood the things I was going through emotionally with the divorce.

Pleaes feel free to PM me anytime - I know thisis a hard thing to go through and sometimes friends just don't get it. -

catchastar · Oct 2, 2007

First of all let me say that I echo what everybody else has said -this sucks and there's no way around that. I also got divorced (when I was 30 yrs old) and my husband definitely cheated on me - he hoped I would never findout and just move away but it didn't happen like that. One thing I learned throughout it was that anything he said was just a lie - a lie to protect himself from being found out, a lie to protect himself from being embarassed... a lie to keep from having to deal directly with my emotions/feelings.

Like somebody said above, I guess my thought is that the statements about leaving you because of CF are in some ways lies - made to justify what she has done. The one thing you have to remember is to take care of yourself. I really shied away from taking care of myself and now I can't help but wonder if I would have better lung function if I hadn't been so careless and self absorbed in my depression.

The things that helped me were 1) anti-depressants, and 2) a church support group where there were other individuals going through the same thing. I met some new people who I was able to socialize with and knew understood the things I was going through emotionally with the divorce.

Pleaes feel free to PM me anytime - I know thisis a hard thing to go through and sometimes friends just don't get it. -

catchastar · Oct 2, 2007

First of all let me say that I echo what everybody else has said -this sucks and there's no way around that. I also got divorced (when I was 30 yrs old) and my husband definitely cheated on me - he hoped I would never findout and just move away but it didn't happen like that. One thing I learned throughout it was that anything he said was just a lie - a lie to protect himself from being found out, a lie to protect himself from being embarassed... a lie to keep from having to deal directly with my emotions/feelings.

Like somebody said above, I guess my thought is that the statements about leaving you because of CF are in some ways lies - made to justify what she has done. The one thing you have to remember is to take care of yourself. I really shied away from taking care of myself and now I can't help but wonder if I would have better lung function if I hadn't been so careless and self absorbed in my depression.

The things that helped me were 1) anti-depressants, and 2) a church support group where there were other individuals going through the same thing. I met some new people who I was able to socialize with and knew understood the things I was going through emotionally with the divorce.

Pleaes feel free to PM me anytime - I know thisis a hard thing to go through and sometimes friends just don't get it. -

cfarchitect · Oct 2, 2007

Hey Grendel

I am 41 with CF and my wife of 12 years just broke the same news to me. I am still literaly numb. If you want to call me so we can talk i would love to hear from you. 503-391-4357 home
503-852-2531 cell - iturn my cell of at night so call me at home. I go to bad after 9:00pm

Hang in there and dont give up. If you give up than she has won. God will prevail. Pray to have god hold you and tell your self to not let go of him no matter how slippery you hands get.

Call me!!!!!!!

cfarchitect · Oct 2, 2007

Hey Grendel

I am 41 with CF and my wife of 12 years just broke the same news to me. I am still literaly numb. If you want to call me so we can talk i would love to hear from you. 503-391-4357 home
503-852-2531 cell - iturn my cell of at night so call me at home. I go to bad after 9:00pm

Hang in there and dont give up. If you give up than she has won. God will prevail. Pray to have god hold you and tell your self to not let go of him no matter how slippery you hands get.

Call me!!!!!!!

cfarchitect · Oct 2, 2007

Hey Grendel

I am 41 with CF and my wife of 12 years just broke the same news to me. I am still literaly numb. If you want to call me so we can talk i would love to hear from you. 503-391-4357 home
503-852-2531 cell - iturn my cell of at night so call me at home. I go to bad after 9:00pm

Hang in there and dont give up. If you give up than she has won. God will prevail. Pray to have god hold you and tell your self to not let go of him no matter how slippery you hands get.

Call me!!!!!!!

cfarchitect · Oct 2, 2007

Hey Grendel

I am 41 with CF and my wife of 12 years just broke the same news to me. I am still literaly numb. If you want to call me so we can talk i would love to hear from you. 503-391-4357 home
503-852-2531 cell - iturn my cell of at night so call me at home. I go to bad after 9:00pm

Hang in there and dont give up. If you give up than she has won. God will prevail. Pray to have god hold you and tell your self to not let go of him no matter how slippery you hands get.

Call me!!!!!!!

cfarchitect · Oct 2, 2007

Hey Grendel

I am 41 with CF and my wife of 12 years just broke the same news to me. I am still literaly numb. If you want to call me so we can talk i would love to hear from you. 503-391-4357 home
503-852-2531 cell - iturn my cell of at night so call me at home. I go to bad after 9:00pm

Hang in there and dont give up. If you give up than she has won. God will prevail. Pray to have god hold you and tell your self to not let go of him no matter how slippery you hands get.

Call me!!!!!!!

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