Daughter in hospital

[Ratatosk]

DS' last stay for a bowel obstruction was 3 weeks long and we were both able to be there for that time, but if he wouldn've had to stay any longer we were making arrangements for one of us to stay for a couple days while the other went back to work and to switch off.
<br />
<br />DS only wanted his daddy to rub his tummy all night long, so DH was short on sleep and a couple times he snapped at me, I got teary -- close quarters.
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<br />When DS was a newborn he spent 2 weeks at the local hospital and I was supposed to spend the night, but the nurses were AWFUL, but didn't pull that kind of cr@# with DH, so he spent the night and I spent days. Was very stressful.
<br />
<br />Do they have any volunteers? I know they did at the hospital in the City. They'd play games with DS so we could run and get some fresh air, run to Target for essentials....

 

[NancyLKF]

We haven't had to do a tuneup yet, but the stress and emotions of the diagnosis of Maggie at 6 days old was enough to cause some big issues in our marriage. A year of counseling and we are at a place where we can understand where the other person is coming from in their reactions to stressful situations especially when it comes to Maggie. It's tough but I think it's normal to be at each other's throats because you both feel a little helpless I'd imagine. At least that was true for us. But what I learned is that he has an explanation behind his behavior - not an excuse, but an explanation - as my therapist would say. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> So when I want to ring his neck, I just try to breath and give him a chance to calm down. Emotions run high when it comes to our children - especially ones who need extra care.

 

[NancyLKF]

We haven't had to do a tuneup yet, but the stress and emotions of the diagnosis of Maggie at 6 days old was enough to cause some big issues in our marriage. A year of counseling and we are at a place where we can understand where the other person is coming from in their reactions to stressful situations especially when it comes to Maggie. It's tough but I think it's normal to be at each other's throats because you both feel a little helpless I'd imagine. At least that was true for us. But what I learned is that he has an explanation behind his behavior - not an excuse, but an explanation - as my therapist would say. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> So when I want to ring his neck, I just try to breath and give him a chance to calm down. Emotions run high when it comes to our children - especially ones who need extra care.

 

[NancyLKF]

We haven't had to do a tuneup yet, but the stress and emotions of the diagnosis of Maggie at 6 days old was enough to cause some big issues in our marriage. A year of counseling and we are at a place where we can understand where the other person is coming from in their reactions to stressful situations especially when it comes to Maggie. It's tough but I think it's normal to be at each other's throats because you both feel a little helpless I'd imagine. At least that was true for us. But what I learned is that he has an explanation behind his behavior - not an excuse, but an explanation - as my therapist would say. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> So when I want to ring his neck, I just try to breath and give him a chance to calm down. Emotions run high when it comes to our children - especially ones who need extra care.

 

[fourkidsmom]

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[fourkidsmom]

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[fourkidsmom]

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[fourkidsmom]

Hang in there- it makes it so hard usually I stay with our son and my husband stayed with the other 3 kids and kept working. We live 2 hours one way.... My son once stayed over 77 days one time-- as a newborn-- it can be very trying on your relationship-- but know you need each other to help get your child through this....

Angie

 

[fourkidsmom]

Hang in there- it makes it so hard usually I stay with our son and my husband stayed with the other 3 kids and kept working. We live 2 hours one way.... My son once stayed over 77 days one time-- as a newborn-- it can be very trying on your relationship-- but know you need each other to help get your child through this....

Angie

 

[fourkidsmom]

Hang in there- it makes it so hard usually I stay with our son and my husband stayed with the other 3 kids and kept working. We live 2 hours one way.... My son once stayed over 77 days one time-- as a newborn-- it can be very trying on your relationship-- but know you need each other to help get your child through this....
<br />
<br />Angie

 

[scrapper1264]

DS was in the hospital twice over the summer (for a non-CF related issue, believe it or not he now has Crohn's Disease also!). DH and I did not get along very well at all from the lack of sleep and stress not knowing what was happening to our son. Us not getting along only made matters worse, so finally I just said, hey, we have to work together on this because us fighting is not going to make our son better. The last thing he needs is for us to be arguing and fighting. It was so much better after that.

 

[scrapper1264]

DS was in the hospital twice over the summer (for a non-CF related issue, believe it or not he now has Crohn's Disease also!). DH and I did not get along very well at all from the lack of sleep and stress not knowing what was happening to our son. Us not getting along only made matters worse, so finally I just said, hey, we have to work together on this because us fighting is not going to make our son better. The last thing he needs is for us to be arguing and fighting. It was so much better after that.

 

[scrapper1264]

DS was in the hospital twice over the summer (for a non-CF related issue, believe it or not he now has Crohn's Disease also!). DH and I did not get along very well at all from the lack of sleep and stress not knowing what was happening to our son. Us not getting along only made matters worse, so finally I just said, hey, we have to work together on this because us fighting is not going to make our son better. The last thing he needs is for us to be arguing and fighting. It was so much better after that.

 

[adamsants]

When Adam was younger I took vacation time and staying all day and night and the hospital with 30 minute breaks so I would not go stir crazy. My husband worked also and could not take time off but he would take the friay night shift and stay until monday morning and head off to work. Yes we sometime were at each others throats but it was what we had to do.

He did not come every night to vist but came up at least 3 times after work. I did not expect him to come everyday he needed the rest too.

It will get easier as time goes on to figure out a routine.

I hope she gets better soon. Hugs and Prayers.

Peace

Ann

 

[adamsants]

When Adam was younger I took vacation time and staying all day and night and the hospital with 30 minute breaks so I would not go stir crazy. My husband worked also and could not take time off but he would take the friay night shift and stay until monday morning and head off to work. Yes we sometime were at each others throats but it was what we had to do.

He did not come every night to vist but came up at least 3 times after work. I did not expect him to come everyday he needed the rest too.

It will get easier as time goes on to figure out a routine.

I hope she gets better soon. Hugs and Prayers.

Peace

Ann

 

[adamsants]

When Adam was younger I took vacation time and staying all day and night and the hospital with 30 minute breaks so I would not go stir crazy. My husband worked also and could not take time off but he would take the friay night shift and stay until monday morning and head off to work. Yes we sometime were at each others throats but it was what we had to do.
<br />
<br />He did not come every night to vist but came up at least 3 times after work. I did not expect him to come everyday he needed the rest too.
<br />
<br />It will get easier as time goes on to figure out a routine.
<br />
<br />I hope she gets better soon. Hugs and Prayers.
<br />
<br />Peace
<br />
<br />Ann

 

[zeeannie]

How is Avery doing? I hope she's responding well to treatment...
I hope you and your husband are figuring it out as well. I've found that my husband and I sort of naturally migrate to our own "jobs", mine being the on-hand parent and his being the one to support us financially. I'm lucky that I don't have to work so that we don't have the argument over who is doing more. He is stressed out about keeping his job which provides a good living, and the insurance that allows us to care for our daughter as well as we can. Without it, I'm sure we'd be SOL. I have the stress of the more immediate concerns of day to day stuff. In the hospital it's the same thing. He has an hour long commute as well, comes and visits after work, goes home to sleep and then does it again. Meanwhile, I'm hanging out keeping an eye on the nurses, making sure homework is being kept up, etc... At best, a hospital stay can be VERY boring!
Good luck to you both, you'll find your groove too.

 

[zeeannie]

How is Avery doing? I hope she's responding well to treatment...
I hope you and your husband are figuring it out as well. I've found that my husband and I sort of naturally migrate to our own "jobs", mine being the on-hand parent and his being the one to support us financially. I'm lucky that I don't have to work so that we don't have the argument over who is doing more. He is stressed out about keeping his job which provides a good living, and the insurance that allows us to care for our daughter as well as we can. Without it, I'm sure we'd be SOL. I have the stress of the more immediate concerns of day to day stuff. In the hospital it's the same thing. He has an hour long commute as well, comes and visits after work, goes home to sleep and then does it again. Meanwhile, I'm hanging out keeping an eye on the nurses, making sure homework is being kept up, etc... At best, a hospital stay can be VERY boring!
Good luck to you both, you'll find your groove too.

 

[zeeannie]

How is Avery doing? I hope she's responding well to treatment...
<br />I hope you and your husband are figuring it out as well. I've found that my husband and I sort of naturally migrate to our own "jobs", mine being the on-hand parent and his being the one to support us financially. I'm lucky that I don't have to work so that we don't have the argument over who is doing more. He is stressed out about keeping his job which provides a good living, and the insurance that allows us to care for our daughter as well as we can. Without it, I'm sure we'd be SOL. I have the stress of the more immediate concerns of day to day stuff. In the hospital it's the same thing. He has an hour long commute as well, comes and visits after work, goes home to sleep and then does it again. Meanwhile, I'm hanging out keeping an eye on the nurses, making sure homework is being kept up, etc... At best, a hospital stay can be VERY boring!
<br />Good luck to you both, you'll find your groove too.

 

[BabyBeauty]

Avery is doing great! We did the tune up and now are at home. We are adjusting to a new chest therapy and breathing treatment routine, but it is not much harder than before.

As far as my husband and I go, we are doing much better since out of the hospital. I agree with many of the posts that we need to understand where the other person is coming from. I know he was so tired driving to and from. I was tired from the ongoing care of Avery in the hospital. Do we need to go to counseling to learn some communication tools for stressful times....YES! We love each other but need to understand each other better. Thank you for all of your insight!