Dealing with the Holidays

MicheleGazelle · Nov 25, 2008

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Originally posted by: DEES4

This may sound very mean but I dont go to my husbands family get togethers because every family member smokes....with exception of my husband! Even if they dont smoke while we are there the house is already penetrated in it. I refuse to take my son into that. Of course I always tell my husband he is free to go if he wants to but ds cannot go. So we usually go to my mothers house and then my husband and my older son (17 years old) go to see my husbands mom. I feel really bad about it but I cant help it...its just the way it is! My family is so good about the whole cf thing....none are smokers and if one of the kids has a cold they always call and tell me or my mom...that way I can decide if I want to come or just keep my son at home. They have even offered to stay away so that we can come. It usually has a way of working out. Anyway I cant believe your mil....well try to enjoy the holidays and try not to stress to much.

Carrie

Mom to Daniel, Emily, Ethan, Sawyer(cf)</end quote></div>

(I mean this in the nicest, most supportive way possible. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> )

The next time you are tempted to feel bad about it, imagine how you would feel sitting in the hospital, with your child hooked up to all kinds of medical gizmos and being poked and prodded because he is deathly ill due to mom being too polite to protect him from such an environment.

I don't spend a lot of time feeling bad about choices I make to protect myself and my kids. I just feel irritated with the people who think I should be "polite" (ie put up with them smoking in my face) when their behavior is a threat to my welfare and the welfare of my kids.

Peace.

MicheleGazelle · Nov 25, 2008

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Originally posted by: DEES4

This may sound very mean but I dont go to my husbands family get togethers because every family member smokes....with exception of my husband! Even if they dont smoke while we are there the house is already penetrated in it. I refuse to take my son into that. Of course I always tell my husband he is free to go if he wants to but ds cannot go. So we usually go to my mothers house and then my husband and my older son (17 years old) go to see my husbands mom. I feel really bad about it but I cant help it...its just the way it is! My family is so good about the whole cf thing....none are smokers and if one of the kids has a cold they always call and tell me or my mom...that way I can decide if I want to come or just keep my son at home. They have even offered to stay away so that we can come. It usually has a way of working out. Anyway I cant believe your mil....well try to enjoy the holidays and try not to stress to much.

Carrie

Mom to Daniel, Emily, Ethan, Sawyer(cf)</end quote></div>

(I mean this in the nicest, most supportive way possible. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> )

The next time you are tempted to feel bad about it, imagine how you would feel sitting in the hospital, with your child hooked up to all kinds of medical gizmos and being poked and prodded because he is deathly ill due to mom being too polite to protect him from such an environment.

I don't spend a lot of time feeling bad about choices I make to protect myself and my kids. I just feel irritated with the people who think I should be "polite" (ie put up with them smoking in my face) when their behavior is a threat to my welfare and the welfare of my kids.

Peace.

MicheleGazelle · Nov 25, 2008

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Originally posted by: DEES4

This may sound very mean but I dont go to my husbands family get togethers because every family member smokes....with exception of my husband! Even if they dont smoke while we are there the house is already penetrated in it. I refuse to take my son into that. Of course I always tell my husband he is free to go if he wants to but ds cannot go. So we usually go to my mothers house and then my husband and my older son (17 years old) go to see my husbands mom. I feel really bad about it but I cant help it...its just the way it is! My family is so good about the whole cf thing....none are smokers and if one of the kids has a cold they always call and tell me or my mom...that way I can decide if I want to come or just keep my son at home. They have even offered to stay away so that we can come. It usually has a way of working out. Anyway I cant believe your mil....well try to enjoy the holidays and try not to stress to much.

Carrie

Mom to Daniel, Emily, Ethan, Sawyer(cf)</end quote></div>

(I mean this in the nicest, most supportive way possible. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> )

The next time you are tempted to feel bad about it, imagine how you would feel sitting in the hospital, with your child hooked up to all kinds of medical gizmos and being poked and prodded because he is deathly ill due to mom being too polite to protect him from such an environment.

I don't spend a lot of time feeling bad about choices I make to protect myself and my kids. I just feel irritated with the people who think I should be "polite" (ie put up with them smoking in my face) when their behavior is a threat to my welfare and the welfare of my kids.

Peace.

MicheleGazelle · Nov 25, 2008

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Originally posted by: DEES4

This may sound very mean but I dont go to my husbands family get togethers because every family member smokes....with exception of my husband! Even if they dont smoke while we are there the house is already penetrated in it. I refuse to take my son into that. Of course I always tell my husband he is free to go if he wants to but ds cannot go. So we usually go to my mothers house and then my husband and my older son (17 years old) go to see my husbands mom. I feel really bad about it but I cant help it...its just the way it is! My family is so good about the whole cf thing....none are smokers and if one of the kids has a cold they always call and tell me or my mom...that way I can decide if I want to come or just keep my son at home. They have even offered to stay away so that we can come. It usually has a way of working out. Anyway I cant believe your mil....well try to enjoy the holidays and try not to stress to much.

Carrie

Mom to Daniel, Emily, Ethan, Sawyer(cf)</end quote>

(I mean this in the nicest, most supportive way possible. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> )

The next time you are tempted to feel bad about it, imagine how you would feel sitting in the hospital, with your child hooked up to all kinds of medical gizmos and being poked and prodded because he is deathly ill due to mom being too polite to protect him from such an environment.

I don't spend a lot of time feeling bad about choices I make to protect myself and my kids. I just feel irritated with the people who think I should be "polite" (ie put up with them smoking in my face) when their behavior is a threat to my welfare and the welfare of my kids.

Peace.

MicheleGazelle · Nov 25, 2008

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Originally posted by: DEES4
 
 This may sound very mean but I dont go to my husbands family get togethers because every family member smokes....with exception of my husband! Even if they dont smoke while we are there the house is already penetrated in it. I refuse to take my son into that. Of course I always tell my husband he is free to go if he wants to but ds cannot go. So we usually go to my mothers house and then my husband and my older son (17 years old) go to see my husbands mom. I feel really bad about it but I cant help it...its just the way it is! My family is so good about the whole cf thing....none are smokers and if one of the kids has a cold they always call and tell me or my mom...that way I can decide if I want to come or just keep my son at home. They have even offered to stay away so that we can come. It usually has a way of working out. Anyway I cant believe your mil....well try to enjoy the holidays and try not to stress to much.
 
 Carrie
 
 Mom to Daniel, Emily, Ethan, Sawyer(cf)</end quote>
 
 (I mean this in the nicest, most supportive way possible. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> )
 
 The next time you are tempted to feel bad about it, imagine how you would feel sitting in the hospital, with your child hooked up to all kinds of medical gizmos and being poked and prodded because he is deathly ill due to mom being too polite to protect him from such an environment.
 
 I don't spend a lot of time feeling bad about choices I make to protect myself and my kids. I just feel irritated with the people who think I should be "polite" (ie put up with them smoking in my face) when their behavior is a threat to my welfare and the welfare of my kids.
 
 Peace.

DEES4 · Nov 25, 2008

Michele...I totally understand where you are coming from...let me just explain why I feel bad about not going to my husbands moms. She is in her 70's and has breast cancer...for the second time now...so we never know when it will be her last holiday and she is the most genuinely sweet person I know...but I still can't go for the fact that my son comes first no matter. I do not typically feel bad about the choices I make for my son. I always put him first. Its just that not going to my mil's for thanksgiving and christmas does make me feel sad....I guess sad for the situation...that it has to be this way! And yes I do know how it is to sit in the hospital beside my child as he suffers and is all hooked up to machines...he actually spent 10 days on a ventilator in ICU when he was nearly 1 year old. So that is the very reason I dont take him places where I know that he does not need to be!!
Carrie

DEES4 · Nov 25, 2008

Michele...I totally understand where you are coming from...let me just explain why I feel bad about not going to my husbands moms. She is in her 70's and has breast cancer...for the second time now...so we never know when it will be her last holiday and she is the most genuinely sweet person I know...but I still can't go for the fact that my son comes first no matter. I do not typically feel bad about the choices I make for my son. I always put him first. Its just that not going to my mil's for thanksgiving and christmas does make me feel sad....I guess sad for the situation...that it has to be this way! And yes I do know how it is to sit in the hospital beside my child as he suffers and is all hooked up to machines...he actually spent 10 days on a ventilator in ICU when he was nearly 1 year old. So that is the very reason I dont take him places where I know that he does not need to be!!
Carrie

DEES4 · Nov 25, 2008

Michele...I totally understand where you are coming from...let me just explain why I feel bad about not going to my husbands moms. She is in her 70's and has breast cancer...for the second time now...so we never know when it will be her last holiday and she is the most genuinely sweet person I know...but I still can't go for the fact that my son comes first no matter. I do not typically feel bad about the choices I make for my son. I always put him first. Its just that not going to my mil's for thanksgiving and christmas does make me feel sad....I guess sad for the situation...that it has to be this way! And yes I do know how it is to sit in the hospital beside my child as he suffers and is all hooked up to machines...he actually spent 10 days on a ventilator in ICU when he was nearly 1 year old. So that is the very reason I dont take him places where I know that he does not need to be!!
Carrie

DEES4 · Nov 25, 2008

Michele...I totally understand where you are coming from...let me just explain why I feel bad about not going to my husbands moms. She is in her 70's and has breast cancer...for the second time now...so we never know when it will be her last holiday and she is the most genuinely sweet person I know...but I still can't go for the fact that my son comes first no matter. I do not typically feel bad about the choices I make for my son. I always put him first. Its just that not going to my mil's for thanksgiving and christmas does make me feel sad....I guess sad for the situation...that it has to be this way! And yes I do know how it is to sit in the hospital beside my child as he suffers and is all hooked up to machines...he actually spent 10 days on a ventilator in ICU when he was nearly 1 year old. So that is the very reason I dont take him places where I know that he does not need to be!!
Carrie

DEES4 · Nov 25, 2008

Michele...I totally understand where you are coming from...let me just explain why I feel bad about not going to my husbands moms. She is in her 70's and has breast cancer...for the second time now...so we never know when it will be her last holiday and she is the most genuinely sweet person I know...but I still can't go for the fact that my son comes first no matter. I do not typically feel bad about the choices I make for my son. I always put him first. Its just that not going to my mil's for thanksgiving and christmas does make me feel sad....I guess sad for the situation...that it has to be this way! And yes I do know how it is to sit in the hospital beside my child as he suffers and is all hooked up to machines...he actually spent 10 days on a ventilator in ICU when he was nearly 1 year old. So that is the very reason I dont take him places where I know that he does not need to be!!
 Carrie

MicheleGazelle · Nov 25, 2008

Carrie,
You don't have to justify anything to me. Different people are wired differently. I was only suggesting that a different perspective might make you feel less upset about doing the right thing. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

I have a sister who has been battling breast cancer on and off for 9 1/2 years. My mom also had breast cancer (about 22 years ago) and lived through it. My mom is in her 70's and my dad is in his 80's and he has had serious health problems and is losing his memory (likely qualifies for a diagnosis of Alzheimer's). Because their home makes me so ill, I no longer visit my parents, though they live about 2 miles from where I live. My sister knows that but the last time she came to town she tried to invite me over to visit with her and them. I didn't have to be "rude" because I got the message too late to do anything about it, but it struck me as callous disregard for my welfare that she knows how ill it makes me but apparently thinks I should go anyway out of "politeness". I doubt it would go over at all well if I suggested to my sister that I am getting well and she is not in part because I choose to not visit relatives who make me ill.

I do sometimes feel bad that I am unable to help my sister get well. But I don't feel at all bad that I no longer go visit my parents.

So, you and I have some similarities in our circumstances but our feelings about it are different.

Peace.

MicheleGazelle · Nov 25, 2008

Carrie,
You don't have to justify anything to me. Different people are wired differently. I was only suggesting that a different perspective might make you feel less upset about doing the right thing. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

I have a sister who has been battling breast cancer on and off for 9 1/2 years. My mom also had breast cancer (about 22 years ago) and lived through it. My mom is in her 70's and my dad is in his 80's and he has had serious health problems and is losing his memory (likely qualifies for a diagnosis of Alzheimer's). Because their home makes me so ill, I no longer visit my parents, though they live about 2 miles from where I live. My sister knows that but the last time she came to town she tried to invite me over to visit with her and them. I didn't have to be "rude" because I got the message too late to do anything about it, but it struck me as callous disregard for my welfare that she knows how ill it makes me but apparently thinks I should go anyway out of "politeness". I doubt it would go over at all well if I suggested to my sister that I am getting well and she is not in part because I choose to not visit relatives who make me ill.

I do sometimes feel bad that I am unable to help my sister get well. But I don't feel at all bad that I no longer go visit my parents.

So, you and I have some similarities in our circumstances but our feelings about it are different.

Peace.

MicheleGazelle · Nov 25, 2008

Carrie,
You don't have to justify anything to me. Different people are wired differently. I was only suggesting that a different perspective might make you feel less upset about doing the right thing. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

I have a sister who has been battling breast cancer on and off for 9 1/2 years. My mom also had breast cancer (about 22 years ago) and lived through it. My mom is in her 70's and my dad is in his 80's and he has had serious health problems and is losing his memory (likely qualifies for a diagnosis of Alzheimer's). Because their home makes me so ill, I no longer visit my parents, though they live about 2 miles from where I live. My sister knows that but the last time she came to town she tried to invite me over to visit with her and them. I didn't have to be "rude" because I got the message too late to do anything about it, but it struck me as callous disregard for my welfare that she knows how ill it makes me but apparently thinks I should go anyway out of "politeness". I doubt it would go over at all well if I suggested to my sister that I am getting well and she is not in part because I choose to not visit relatives who make me ill.

I do sometimes feel bad that I am unable to help my sister get well. But I don't feel at all bad that I no longer go visit my parents.

So, you and I have some similarities in our circumstances but our feelings about it are different.

Peace.

MicheleGazelle · Nov 25, 2008

Carrie,
You don't have to justify anything to me. Different people are wired differently. I was only suggesting that a different perspective might make you feel less upset about doing the right thing. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

I have a sister who has been battling breast cancer on and off for 9 1/2 years. My mom also had breast cancer (about 22 years ago) and lived through it. My mom is in her 70's and my dad is in his 80's and he has had serious health problems and is losing his memory (likely qualifies for a diagnosis of Alzheimer's). Because their home makes me so ill, I no longer visit my parents, though they live about 2 miles from where I live. My sister knows that but the last time she came to town she tried to invite me over to visit with her and them. I didn't have to be "rude" because I got the message too late to do anything about it, but it struck me as callous disregard for my welfare that she knows how ill it makes me but apparently thinks I should go anyway out of "politeness". I doubt it would go over at all well if I suggested to my sister that I am getting well and she is not in part because I choose to not visit relatives who make me ill.

I do sometimes feel bad that I am unable to help my sister get well. But I don't feel at all bad that I no longer go visit my parents.

So, you and I have some similarities in our circumstances but our feelings about it are different.

Peace.

MicheleGazelle · Nov 25, 2008

Carrie,
 You don't have to justify anything to me. Different people are wired differently. I was only suggesting that a different perspective might make you feel less upset about doing the right thing. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 
 I have a sister who has been battling breast cancer on and off for 9 1/2 years. My mom also had breast cancer (about 22 years ago) and lived through it. My mom is in her 70's and my dad is in his 80's and he has had serious health problems and is losing his memory (likely qualifies for a diagnosis of Alzheimer's). Because their home makes me so ill, I no longer visit my parents, though they live about 2 miles from where I live. My sister knows that but the last time she came to town she tried to invite me over to visit with her and them. I didn't have to be "rude" because I got the message too late to do anything about it, but it struck me as callous disregard for my welfare that she knows how ill it makes me but apparently thinks I should go anyway out of "politeness". I doubt it would go over at all well if I suggested to my sister that I am getting well and she is not in part because I choose to not visit relatives who make me ill.
 
 I do sometimes feel bad that I am unable to help my sister get well. But I don't feel at all bad that I no longer go visit my parents.
 
 So, you and I have some similarities in our circumstances but our feelings about it are different.
 
 Peace.

HollyAnnsMom · Nov 29, 2008

Oh I can sympathize with everyone on this one. We definitely stay away from situations where we know someone is sick. We went to my dads a few weeks ago and my little niece had a really nasty cough, well my step mom tried to feed my little girl a bite off my niece's plate. Praise the Lord that I saw it and stopped her before Holly Ann could take the bite. People who don't deal with CF on a regular basis just don't think about germs like we do. I've always been told that ignorance comes from a lack of education on a subject and I totally agree. I just really wish our family members would take the initiative to do some cf research on their on. We were going to visit my grandmothers for Thanksgiving but she said my aunt had strep throat and the flu and that she would be there but would wear a mask so come at your own risk. Now that is unbelievable to me so needless to say we did not dare make the trip there. We all have to protect our kids and try to keep them healthy and I don't think that you should feel bad at all about asking if someone is sick. I think that makes you a better parent by not taking you child into an environment where you know there is a problem. Keep up the good work everyone and may God give us the peace of mind to make it through the holidays.LOL!

HollyAnnsMom · Nov 29, 2008

Oh I can sympathize with everyone on this one. We definitely stay away from situations where we know someone is sick. We went to my dads a few weeks ago and my little niece had a really nasty cough, well my step mom tried to feed my little girl a bite off my niece's plate. Praise the Lord that I saw it and stopped her before Holly Ann could take the bite. People who don't deal with CF on a regular basis just don't think about germs like we do. I've always been told that ignorance comes from a lack of education on a subject and I totally agree. I just really wish our family members would take the initiative to do some cf research on their on. We were going to visit my grandmothers for Thanksgiving but she said my aunt had strep throat and the flu and that she would be there but would wear a mask so come at your own risk. Now that is unbelievable to me so needless to say we did not dare make the trip there. We all have to protect our kids and try to keep them healthy and I don't think that you should feel bad at all about asking if someone is sick. I think that makes you a better parent by not taking you child into an environment where you know there is a problem. Keep up the good work everyone and may God give us the peace of mind to make it through the holidays.LOL!

HollyAnnsMom · Nov 29, 2008

Oh I can sympathize with everyone on this one. We definitely stay away from situations where we know someone is sick. We went to my dads a few weeks ago and my little niece had a really nasty cough, well my step mom tried to feed my little girl a bite off my niece's plate. Praise the Lord that I saw it and stopped her before Holly Ann could take the bite. People who don't deal with CF on a regular basis just don't think about germs like we do. I've always been told that ignorance comes from a lack of education on a subject and I totally agree. I just really wish our family members would take the initiative to do some cf research on their on. We were going to visit my grandmothers for Thanksgiving but she said my aunt had strep throat and the flu and that she would be there but would wear a mask so come at your own risk. Now that is unbelievable to me so needless to say we did not dare make the trip there. We all have to protect our kids and try to keep them healthy and I don't think that you should feel bad at all about asking if someone is sick. I think that makes you a better parent by not taking you child into an environment where you know there is a problem. Keep up the good work everyone and may God give us the peace of mind to make it through the holidays.LOL!

HollyAnnsMom · Nov 29, 2008

Oh I can sympathize with everyone on this one. We definitely stay away from situations where we know someone is sick. We went to my dads a few weeks ago and my little niece had a really nasty cough, well my step mom tried to feed my little girl a bite off my niece's plate. Praise the Lord that I saw it and stopped her before Holly Ann could take the bite. People who don't deal with CF on a regular basis just don't think about germs like we do. I've always been told that ignorance comes from a lack of education on a subject and I totally agree. I just really wish our family members would take the initiative to do some cf research on their on. We were going to visit my grandmothers for Thanksgiving but she said my aunt had strep throat and the flu and that she would be there but would wear a mask so come at your own risk. Now that is unbelievable to me so needless to say we did not dare make the trip there. We all have to protect our kids and try to keep them healthy and I don't think that you should feel bad at all about asking if someone is sick. I think that makes you a better parent by not taking you child into an environment where you know there is a problem. Keep up the good work everyone and may God give us the peace of mind to make it through the holidays.LOL!

HollyAnnsMom · Nov 29, 2008

Oh I can sympathize with everyone on this one. We definitely stay away from situations where we know someone is sick. We went to my dads a few weeks ago and my little niece had a really nasty cough, well my step mom tried to feed my little girl a bite off my niece's plate. Praise the Lord that I saw it and stopped her before Holly Ann could take the bite. People who don't deal with CF on a regular basis just don't think about germs like we do. I've always been told that ignorance comes from a lack of education on a subject and I totally agree. I just really wish our family members would take the initiative to do some cf research on their on. We were going to visit my grandmothers for Thanksgiving but she said my aunt had strep throat and the flu and that she would be there but would wear a mask so come at your own risk. Now that is unbelievable to me so needless to say we did not dare make the trip there. We all have to protect our kids and try to keep them healthy and I don't think that you should feel bad at all about asking if someone is sick. I think that makes you a better parent by not taking you child into an environment where you know there is a problem. Keep up the good work everyone and may God give us the peace of mind to make it through the holidays.LOL!

Dealing with the Holidays

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