Discipline and the CF child

grassisgreener · Apr 10, 2009

I have 2 kids and my CFer is the older of the 2. My younger one is almost 3 and he is the one that gives me the trouble. He bugs his older sister to no end while she is doing her treatments, it really bothers me (and his sister!). Anyway, I definately treat my kids the same. I am not telling you to do this because we all have to do what works for our families but as a former teacher now SAHM it is important to me that my kids are as well-behaved as their ages/personalities/circumstances allow. My kids are both smart, active, persistant, determined, exhausting, etc but I refuse to give into these wonderful qualities because if I did they would take over the house! When my daughter was dx her pediatrician told me that it would best serve my daughter to discipline (which means teach) her no differently than other kids. She (the ped) used the harsh example of a child who is sick often, coughs alot, etc and then is a brat on top of that...not exactly appealing to the general population. As harsh as that example was, it stuck with me.

grassisgreener · Apr 10, 2009

I have 2 kids and my CFer is the older of the 2. My younger one is almost 3 and he is the one that gives me the trouble. He bugs his older sister to no end while she is doing her treatments, it really bothers me (and his sister!). Anyway, I definately treat my kids the same. I am not telling you to do this because we all have to do what works for our families but as a former teacher now SAHM it is important to me that my kids are as well-behaved as their ages/personalities/circumstances allow. My kids are both smart, active, persistant, determined, exhausting, etc but I refuse to give into these wonderful qualities because if I did they would take over the house! When my daughter was dx her pediatrician told me that it would best serve my daughter to discipline (which means teach) her no differently than other kids. She (the ped) used the harsh example of a child who is sick often, coughs alot, etc and then is a brat on top of that...not exactly appealing to the general population. As harsh as that example was, it stuck with me.

grassisgreener · Apr 10, 2009

I have 2 kids and my CFer is the older of the 2. My younger one is almost 3 and he is the one that gives me the trouble. He bugs his older sister to no end while she is doing her treatments, it really bothers me (and his sister!). Anyway, I definately treat my kids the same. I am not telling you to do this because we all have to do what works for our families but as a former teacher now SAHM it is important to me that my kids are as well-behaved as their ages/personalities/circumstances allow. My kids are both smart, active, persistant, determined, exhausting, etc but I refuse to give into these wonderful qualities because if I did they would take over the house! When my daughter was dx her pediatrician told me that it would best serve my daughter to discipline (which means teach) her no differently than other kids. She (the ped) used the harsh example of a child who is sick often, coughs alot, etc and then is a brat on top of that...not exactly appealing to the general population. As harsh as that example was, it stuck with me.

grassisgreener · Apr 10, 2009

I have 2 kids and my CFer is the older of the 2. My younger one is almost 3 and he is the one that gives me the trouble. He bugs his older sister to no end while she is doing her treatments, it really bothers me (and his sister!). Anyway, I definately treat my kids the same. I am not telling you to do this because we all have to do what works for our families but as a former teacher now SAHM it is important to me that my kids are as well-behaved as their ages/personalities/circumstances allow. My kids are both smart, active, persistant, determined, exhausting, etc but I refuse to give into these wonderful qualities because if I did they would take over the house! When my daughter was dx her pediatrician told me that it would best serve my daughter to discipline (which means teach) her no differently than other kids. She (the ped) used the harsh example of a child who is sick often, coughs alot, etc and then is a brat on top of that...not exactly appealing to the general population. As harsh as that example was, it stuck with me.

grassisgreener · Apr 10, 2009

I have 2 kids and my CFer is the older of the 2. My younger one is almost 3 and he is the one that gives me the trouble. He bugs his older sister to no end while she is doing her treatments, it really bothers me (and his sister!). Anyway, I definately treat my kids the same. I am not telling you to do this because we all have to do what works for our families but as a former teacher now SAHM it is important to me that my kids are as well-behaved as their ages/personalities/circumstances allow. My kids are both smart, active, persistant, determined, exhausting, etc but I refuse to give into these wonderful qualities because if I did they would take over the house! When my daughter was dx her pediatrician told me that it would best serve my daughter to discipline (which means teach) her no differently than other kids. She (the ped) used the harsh example of a child who is sick often, coughs alot, etc and then is a brat on top of that...not exactly appealing to the general population. As harsh as that example was, it stuck with me.

izemmom · Apr 10, 2009

Oh Heather...Have you been peeking into my house with a spy-cam again? Honestly, Emily is JUST like you describe Alyssa. I, too, feel like some days consist of nothing except discipline, time-out, settling squabbles with big sister then back to time-out.

I think you probably approach things just like I do. I absolutely don't want Emily to be spoiled, so sometimes I think I let LESS of the "normal" three year old stuff slide than I did for her sister. SOmetimes I think if I just let it go a little we'd all be happier. But, I agree, Emily sees already that there are some things she "gets away with" just becasue she has to. She stay up later, gets to dictate what's for dinner (at least on her plate), gets full control of the TV at vest time...just like you said. And she's to darn SMART to not notice that she has the upper hand in many situations.

Like your boys, Isabelle, too doesn't play the "Not fair" card. But I do. I worry all the time about the long term effects for her of having to "Contend" with Emily all the time. (To most people this sound like a bad thing to say, but, Heather, I know you get it.....)

OK, so I have no advice from someone who has "Been there" because I'm still there...and trying to remind myself hourly that one day I will miss having her at this age.

I say that you (we) have the right approach. Our kids are going to turn out to be wonderfuly polite kids who do their own treatments and take responsibility for thier own meds and their siblings are going to spearhead fantastic fundraisers. We were given lions to tame, and we're figuring out how to do it, one time out at a time.

Here's a hug and a smile. Hang in there.

izemmom · Apr 10, 2009

Oh Heather...Have you been peeking into my house with a spy-cam again? Honestly, Emily is JUST like you describe Alyssa. I, too, feel like some days consist of nothing except discipline, time-out, settling squabbles with big sister then back to time-out.

I think you probably approach things just like I do. I absolutely don't want Emily to be spoiled, so sometimes I think I let LESS of the "normal" three year old stuff slide than I did for her sister. SOmetimes I think if I just let it go a little we'd all be happier. But, I agree, Emily sees already that there are some things she "gets away with" just becasue she has to. She stay up later, gets to dictate what's for dinner (at least on her plate), gets full control of the TV at vest time...just like you said. And she's to darn SMART to not notice that she has the upper hand in many situations.

Like your boys, Isabelle, too doesn't play the "Not fair" card. But I do. I worry all the time about the long term effects for her of having to "Contend" with Emily all the time. (To most people this sound like a bad thing to say, but, Heather, I know you get it.....)

OK, so I have no advice from someone who has "Been there" because I'm still there...and trying to remind myself hourly that one day I will miss having her at this age.

I say that you (we) have the right approach. Our kids are going to turn out to be wonderfuly polite kids who do their own treatments and take responsibility for thier own meds and their siblings are going to spearhead fantastic fundraisers. We were given lions to tame, and we're figuring out how to do it, one time out at a time.

Here's a hug and a smile. Hang in there.

izemmom · Apr 10, 2009

Oh Heather...Have you been peeking into my house with a spy-cam again? Honestly, Emily is JUST like you describe Alyssa. I, too, feel like some days consist of nothing except discipline, time-out, settling squabbles with big sister then back to time-out.

I think you probably approach things just like I do. I absolutely don't want Emily to be spoiled, so sometimes I think I let LESS of the "normal" three year old stuff slide than I did for her sister. SOmetimes I think if I just let it go a little we'd all be happier. But, I agree, Emily sees already that there are some things she "gets away with" just becasue she has to. She stay up later, gets to dictate what's for dinner (at least on her plate), gets full control of the TV at vest time...just like you said. And she's to darn SMART to not notice that she has the upper hand in many situations.

Like your boys, Isabelle, too doesn't play the "Not fair" card. But I do. I worry all the time about the long term effects for her of having to "Contend" with Emily all the time. (To most people this sound like a bad thing to say, but, Heather, I know you get it.....)

OK, so I have no advice from someone who has "Been there" because I'm still there...and trying to remind myself hourly that one day I will miss having her at this age.

I say that you (we) have the right approach. Our kids are going to turn out to be wonderfuly polite kids who do their own treatments and take responsibility for thier own meds and their siblings are going to spearhead fantastic fundraisers. We were given lions to tame, and we're figuring out how to do it, one time out at a time.

Here's a hug and a smile. Hang in there.

izemmom · Apr 10, 2009

Oh Heather...Have you been peeking into my house with a spy-cam again? Honestly, Emily is JUST like you describe Alyssa. I, too, feel like some days consist of nothing except discipline, time-out, settling squabbles with big sister then back to time-out.

I think you probably approach things just like I do. I absolutely don't want Emily to be spoiled, so sometimes I think I let LESS of the "normal" three year old stuff slide than I did for her sister. SOmetimes I think if I just let it go a little we'd all be happier. But, I agree, Emily sees already that there are some things she "gets away with" just becasue she has to. She stay up later, gets to dictate what's for dinner (at least on her plate), gets full control of the TV at vest time...just like you said. And she's to darn SMART to not notice that she has the upper hand in many situations.

Like your boys, Isabelle, too doesn't play the "Not fair" card. But I do. I worry all the time about the long term effects for her of having to "Contend" with Emily all the time. (To most people this sound like a bad thing to say, but, Heather, I know you get it.....)

OK, so I have no advice from someone who has "Been there" because I'm still there...and trying to remind myself hourly that one day I will miss having her at this age.

I say that you (we) have the right approach. Our kids are going to turn out to be wonderfuly polite kids who do their own treatments and take responsibility for thier own meds and their siblings are going to spearhead fantastic fundraisers. We were given lions to tame, and we're figuring out how to do it, one time out at a time.

Here's a hug and a smile. Hang in there.

izemmom · Apr 10, 2009

Oh Heather...Have you been peeking into my house with a spy-cam again? Honestly, Emily is JUST like you describe Alyssa. I, too, feel like some days consist of nothing except discipline, time-out, settling squabbles with big sister then back to time-out.
 
 I think you probably approach things just like I do. I absolutely don't want Emily to be spoiled, so sometimes I think I let LESS of the "normal" three year old stuff slide than I did for her sister. SOmetimes I think if I just let it go a little we'd all be happier. But, I agree, Emily sees already that there are some things she "gets away with" just becasue she has to. She stay up later, gets to dictate what's for dinner (at least on her plate), gets full control of the TV at vest time...just like you said. And she's to darn SMART to not notice that she has the upper hand in many situations.
 
 Like your boys, Isabelle, too doesn't play the "Not fair" card. But I do. I worry all the time about the long term effects for her of having to "Contend" with Emily all the time. (To most people this sound like a bad thing to say, but, Heather, I know you get it.....)
 
 OK, so I have no advice from someone who has "Been there" because I'm still there...and trying to remind myself hourly that one day I will miss having her at this age.
 
 I say that you (we) have the right approach. Our kids are going to turn out to be wonderfuly polite kids who do their own treatments and take responsibility for thier own meds and their siblings are going to spearhead fantastic fundraisers. We were given lions to tame, and we're figuring out how to do it, one time out at a time.
 
 Here's a hug and a smile. Hang in there.

welshwitch · Apr 10, 2009

Oh god, the crap I put my parents through....it's all coming back to me now <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

One thing that was really helpful, like what a lot of people have said, was positive reinforcement. Like if I would have to go to the doctor's office for an all-day appointment, plus blood tests, my parents would be extra positive. "Great doctor appointment today! You're doing so great!" ie they treated my CF as a fun challenge for me to do. Or if I was taking pills: "Wow, I can't believe how many pills you just took! Great job!"

I had my tough days, too. I hate, hate, HATED doing breathing treatments (this was the 80s, remember, I remember them taking like 3 x as long as they do now). We used to get in fights about them, which would lead to tears, crying, etc.I think my parents just put up with it like any other issue: let me have a tantrum, calm down , and eventually I'd do it.

I think the best thing was to put me in charge of things, like taking my own pills at school, or deciding for myself how open I wanted to be with my friends about CF. Good luck!

welshwitch · Apr 10, 2009

Oh god, the crap I put my parents through....it's all coming back to me now <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

One thing that was really helpful, like what a lot of people have said, was positive reinforcement. Like if I would have to go to the doctor's office for an all-day appointment, plus blood tests, my parents would be extra positive. "Great doctor appointment today! You're doing so great!" ie they treated my CF as a fun challenge for me to do. Or if I was taking pills: "Wow, I can't believe how many pills you just took! Great job!"

I had my tough days, too. I hate, hate, HATED doing breathing treatments (this was the 80s, remember, I remember them taking like 3 x as long as they do now). We used to get in fights about them, which would lead to tears, crying, etc.I think my parents just put up with it like any other issue: let me have a tantrum, calm down , and eventually I'd do it.

I think the best thing was to put me in charge of things, like taking my own pills at school, or deciding for myself how open I wanted to be with my friends about CF. Good luck!

welshwitch · Apr 10, 2009

Oh god, the crap I put my parents through....it's all coming back to me now <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

One thing that was really helpful, like what a lot of people have said, was positive reinforcement. Like if I would have to go to the doctor's office for an all-day appointment, plus blood tests, my parents would be extra positive. "Great doctor appointment today! You're doing so great!" ie they treated my CF as a fun challenge for me to do. Or if I was taking pills: "Wow, I can't believe how many pills you just took! Great job!"

I had my tough days, too. I hate, hate, HATED doing breathing treatments (this was the 80s, remember, I remember them taking like 3 x as long as they do now). We used to get in fights about them, which would lead to tears, crying, etc.I think my parents just put up with it like any other issue: let me have a tantrum, calm down , and eventually I'd do it.

I think the best thing was to put me in charge of things, like taking my own pills at school, or deciding for myself how open I wanted to be with my friends about CF. Good luck!

welshwitch · Apr 10, 2009

Oh god, the crap I put my parents through....it's all coming back to me now <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

One thing that was really helpful, like what a lot of people have said, was positive reinforcement. Like if I would have to go to the doctor's office for an all-day appointment, plus blood tests, my parents would be extra positive. "Great doctor appointment today! You're doing so great!" ie they treated my CF as a fun challenge for me to do. Or if I was taking pills: "Wow, I can't believe how many pills you just took! Great job!"

I had my tough days, too. I hate, hate, HATED doing breathing treatments (this was the 80s, remember, I remember them taking like 3 x as long as they do now). We used to get in fights about them, which would lead to tears, crying, etc.I think my parents just put up with it like any other issue: let me have a tantrum, calm down , and eventually I'd do it.

I think the best thing was to put me in charge of things, like taking my own pills at school, or deciding for myself how open I wanted to be with my friends about CF. Good luck!

welshwitch · Apr 10, 2009

Oh god, the crap I put my parents through....it's all coming back to me now <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 
 One thing that was really helpful, like what a lot of people have said, was positive reinforcement. Like if I would have to go to the doctor's office for an all-day appointment, plus blood tests, my parents would be extra positive. "Great doctor appointment today! You're doing so great!" ie they treated my CF as a fun challenge for me to do. Or if I was taking pills: "Wow, I can't believe how many pills you just took! Great job!"
 
 I had my tough days, too. I hate, hate, HATED doing breathing treatments (this was the 80s, remember, I remember them taking like 3 x as long as they do now). We used to get in fights about them, which would lead to tears, crying, etc.I think my parents just put up with it like any other issue: let me have a tantrum, calm down , and eventually I'd do it.
 
 I think the best thing was to put me in charge of things, like taking my own pills at school, or deciding for myself how open I wanted to be with my friends about CF. Good luck!

Discipline and the CF child

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