for some this may be a simple question, but for others it is not. I am the mother of a 3 year old with cf - my first child, and always dreamed of having many children. Now that is not a reality - so do you chose to try and risk it and have more or no more children? I have been grappling with this for a while. please help. how many people have risked it and tried it again?
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do you have another baby????
- Thread starter anonymous
- Start date
Emily65Roses
New member
My parents had one more child after me, and she doesn't even carry the CF gene. She's 17 and healthy.
It is expensive but you can opt for PGD or adopt if you don't want to take the one in four chance. My second was born with CF and I would never knowingly chance having another child with cf but that is just my opinion. This is a VERY personal decision and I wish you well with it.
From one mom to another - this is really a decision you have to look into your heart and soul and decide what is best for you and your family. I have three children. My oldest (Sean, 6) was diagnosed at the age of two. At the time, we already had my oldest daughter (Carolyn, 5) who was 8 months old at the time. Maybe because we had Carolyn before the diagnosis and already knew the joys of having more than one child - we eventually went ahead with our "original plan" of having three children. I won't kid you - it was a hard decision. We talked about all of our possibilities. We opted to have an amnio done - and I would have to say that was the longest weeks I have ever had to endure. I knew it would be hard - knowing that there was a possibility of having another child with CF - but it was really hard being pregnant (and all those hormones) and with all the "what ifs" going through my head. I worried "what if the baby had CF and made Sean worse." I also worried "what if the baby was really sick right from the beginning." I doubted myself and my decision at least a hundred times. However, in my heart, I knew that I wanted another child - no matter what. In my heart I knew that this was the right decision for our family - no matter what. Sean and Carolyn were the two best things that have ever happened to me and I didn't want to live my life with any regrets. I wanted my life to be completely full.
We were very lucky - Allison was declared completely healthy and CF free. I am so thankful to have her in my life and can't imagine my life without her. She adds a sense of normalacy to our life, as well as to Sean's life. It is hard to be "too special" when you are one of three children. She gives him another person to play with, to laugh with, to keep him company, and for him to love. I personally am so glad that I went ahead and continued my life (and my family's) with all of our original intentions.
I also know several families who did not think that having more children would be in their best interest. Only you can make that decision. I wish you well and hope that you find a decision that makes you happy and at peace. Good luck!!
-Katrina, mother to Sean (6 w/cf), Carolyn (5 w/o cf) and Allison (3 w/o cf)
We were very lucky - Allison was declared completely healthy and CF free. I am so thankful to have her in my life and can't imagine my life without her. She adds a sense of normalacy to our life, as well as to Sean's life. It is hard to be "too special" when you are one of three children. She gives him another person to play with, to laugh with, to keep him company, and for him to love. I personally am so glad that I went ahead and continued my life (and my family's) with all of our original intentions.
I also know several families who did not think that having more children would be in their best interest. Only you can make that decision. I wish you well and hope that you find a decision that makes you happy and at peace. Good luck!!
-Katrina, mother to Sean (6 w/cf), Carolyn (5 w/o cf) and Allison (3 w/o cf)
I am mother to three and one step daughter. My youngest has CF, diagnoised on his 13th birthday........
had NO IDEA that we were carriers........... none of our three daughters have CF or are carriers..............
Would I have had to make the decision to have another child KNOWING that we are carriers????????????? All I can say is that you and your husband will know what is right for you!!!!!!
When I held my son in tears and we talked about him having CF and the genetics........ect......... what
I can tell you is that looking in my sons eyes.............. I would NOT have changed a thing. He was prayed
for before conception and I know there is a plan for his life.......................... Pray on this and God will
give you both clears minds and hearts. This is indeed a very personal decision, thought and prayers with you!
had NO IDEA that we were carriers........... none of our three daughters have CF or are carriers..............
Would I have had to make the decision to have another child KNOWING that we are carriers????????????? All I can say is that you and your husband will know what is right for you!!!!!!
When I held my son in tears and we talked about him having CF and the genetics........ect......... what
I can tell you is that looking in my sons eyes.............. I would NOT have changed a thing. He was prayed
for before conception and I know there is a plan for his life.......................... Pray on this and God will
give you both clears minds and hearts. This is indeed a very personal decision, thought and prayers with you!
I know exactly how you feel.. My oldest has Cf and I always wanted to have more. We decided that we would take a chance.. WE already knew what to expect if the 2nd had the cf. We had no tests this time and just crossed our fingers and prayed. My youngest was born bigger then my first so I had a feeling that he didn't have it.. I even licked him in the hospital to see if he tasted salty. WE found out about a week later that he didn't have it. They are 3 1/2 years apart. Good luck in whatever you decide.
I have a two year old daughter that was diagnosed with cf at 3 months old. It is a very personal decision. We just finished up with the PGD testing which is very expensive. You really should check out what your insurance will pay on that . Our insurance paid a very large portion of it. It did not take, but we have embryos frozen and are going to try again here soon. Take care and do not let anyone else infulence your decision. It is a decision that should be made between just you and your husband. You will do what is right for the two of you.
Dear anonymous
You have 1 child with cf so you know that you and your partner are both carriers and that if you have another child there is a 25% chance that the child will have CF. The decision to have another child is entirely up to you, don't let anybody tell you what to do.
Now that you know that you and your partner are carriers there is one tough question that you need to ask yourself. Will you be able to live with yourself if you have another child with CF when you knew that you were both carriers?
Dave 29 w/cf
You have 1 child with cf so you know that you and your partner are both carriers and that if you have another child there is a 25% chance that the child will have CF. The decision to have another child is entirely up to you, don't let anybody tell you what to do.
Now that you know that you and your partner are carriers there is one tough question that you need to ask yourself. Will you be able to live with yourself if you have another child with CF when you knew that you were both carriers?
Dave 29 w/cf
My husband and I took the risk and ended up with a beautiful baby girl without CF. She is a carreier and we found this out by doing CVS. Had the test come up positive with CF, who knows what we would have done, but at least we didn't have to make a decision. Like previous posters have said, you can do PGD which is very expensive (and why we chose not to do that option and try the old fashion way) but it is obvioulsy the safest!
My husband and I wanted a large family, maybe four kids. We did not stress over the decision to have another child after our first born was diagnosed with cf at six weeks of age. We knew that it is up to God to choose the path for our children and we would be blessed regardless of cf. Our second child was also diagnosed with cf while I was still pregnant by a routine ultrasound that showed meconium illeus. Our second child’s diagnosis was much more difficult for us to accept than the original diagnosis of our first child. Of course, we knew the 25% chance, but for us to realize that both of our children would have cf was a bit overwhelming. If we could go back, we wouldn't change the decision we made. Both of children bring us so much joy and they are living a wonderful life. Yes, we know be difficult at times in the future but none of us are promised a perfect life. We just accept God's perfect plan for both of them and we are honored that he choose us to be their parents.
Sharon, mom to Sophia, 3 and Jack, 16 months both with cf
Dave, please do not give a commentary on our decision to have another child. You have made your position clear in your postings this past year.
Sharon, mom to Sophia, 3 and Jack, 16 months both with cf
Dave, please do not give a commentary on our decision to have another child. You have made your position clear in your postings this past year.
Hey, Dave is allowed to state his opinion as much as anyone else.....even if he has
stated it at other times this year. Geez Louise.
Keep in mind that he did state that "The decision to have another child is entirely up to you" as
so many others have stated. It's such a personal decision.
I suspect you are just upset that he also stated "Will you be able to live with yourself if you
have another child with CF when you knew that you were both carriers?" He brings up a good
point. Some people would NOT be able to live with themselves if that happened......it is, however, something
that should be considered when making this very personal decision.
stated it at other times this year. Geez Louise.
Keep in mind that he did state that "The decision to have another child is entirely up to you" as
so many others have stated. It's such a personal decision.
I suspect you are just upset that he also stated "Will you be able to live with yourself if you
have another child with CF when you knew that you were both carriers?" He brings up a good
point. Some people would NOT be able to live with themselves if that happened......it is, however, something
that should be considered when making this very personal decision.
I believe everyone is entitled to their opinion and also to the right to voice them. However, when you make a statement like Dave does, you narrow the person's life entirely down to the fact that he/she has CF. I'm sorry, but I'm sure that my child's life is so much more than just CF. As I'm sure Dave's is, and anyone else.
You also attach a feeling of blame, which I feel goes beyond just giving your opinion.
Maria (mother of three daughters, the youngest, Samantha w/cf)
You also attach a feeling of blame, which I feel goes beyond just giving your opinion.
Maria (mother of three daughters, the youngest, Samantha w/cf)
Of course Dave is allowed to give his opinion on this subject. I think it is insightful for parents thinking about this decision and asking others for their personal opinions to hear from all different sides of the debate. Dave obviously has a lot to add due to the fact that he actually suffers from cf and a lot of us here do not.
Perhaps, my above comment was misinterpreted. Dave had just responded to another parent's individual circumstances. I am perhaps sensitive to the possibility that someone might respond directly to me about my husbands and I decision to have another child that ended up with a second child with cf. I know that there are others out there who do not think that my husband and I made the right choice to have another child (since it turned out that he also has cf). I obviously believe that it was God’s decison to bring my son into this world and my son is perfect despite any diagnosis. When any parent decides to have a child there is around a 5% chance something might not be right, in essence every parent makes the decision to have a child knowing that there might be risks involved. It is up the parents to make the decison.
Sharon, mom of Sophia, 3 and Jack, 16 months both with cf
Perhaps, my above comment was misinterpreted. Dave had just responded to another parent's individual circumstances. I am perhaps sensitive to the possibility that someone might respond directly to me about my husbands and I decision to have another child that ended up with a second child with cf. I know that there are others out there who do not think that my husband and I made the right choice to have another child (since it turned out that he also has cf). I obviously believe that it was God’s decison to bring my son into this world and my son is perfect despite any diagnosis. When any parent decides to have a child there is around a 5% chance something might not be right, in essence every parent makes the decision to have a child knowing that there might be risks involved. It is up the parents to make the decison.
Sharon, mom of Sophia, 3 and Jack, 16 months both with cf
Sharon
Oh goodness, I don't for a minute think that you & your husband made a poor choice.
The choice to have a child is very personal & does not come easily. As you said, every
pregnancy carries risks (cf is just one of many risks). Your children are a blessing & you
did what was right for your family. Are you still considering 2 more kids? Just curious really.
You know, your own experience with other people's reactions is something that could
be helpful to others in making their decision to have another child. It's pretty shocking to
me that others would say or do anything to make you feel bad about having a second child.
It's just awful that anyone would judge you that way. I guess that's something for others
to consider as well. How would they handle other people comments if they had a second
child with cf.
(Maria, Yes, any child with cf is much much more than their cf.)
Oh goodness, I don't for a minute think that you & your husband made a poor choice.
The choice to have a child is very personal & does not come easily. As you said, every
pregnancy carries risks (cf is just one of many risks). Your children are a blessing & you
did what was right for your family. Are you still considering 2 more kids? Just curious really.
You know, your own experience with other people's reactions is something that could
be helpful to others in making their decision to have another child. It's pretty shocking to
me that others would say or do anything to make you feel bad about having a second child.
It's just awful that anyone would judge you that way. I guess that's something for others
to consider as well. How would they handle other people comments if they had a second
child with cf.
(Maria, Yes, any child with cf is much much more than their cf.)
I am also an adult with CF. I want to give a positive outlook on this subject. I agree that I would not want anyone to have this disease, but this is a decision only you and your husband can make...not anyone on this board. I want to say..that I would not have held it against my parents if they would have known they were carriers...because then I may not be here today. I love my life...I would not change it for anything. It has made me who I am...I am very strong because of CF. It makes me look at life in a different way than someone who is healthy. I do not take anything for granted! Good Luck on your decision! Take Care!
Dea
31 w/CF and CFRD
Dea
31 w/CF and CFRD