Dave did not *clearly* attach any guilt. At least not in my opinion. He merely brought forth a question that a lot of people don't like to look at. It's certainly not as if any parents would purposely give their child CF, but getting pregnant again knowing you're both carriers does make you more aware than many CF parents. Having that knowledge gives you more decision-making power. As I said, I saw no guilt. I only saw him make sure the people reading this post had at least once, thought of that. Now, as I said, I see no guilt in parents of CFers. I have never once blamed my parents for my CF. But I also don't doubt that at least sometimes, parents blame themselves. He was posting the question to make sure the parents were ready for the blame they may very well place on themselves.
And I suppose this part goes mostly to Sharon (also Maria, I guess). You're right in that no one is immune to ill health in this world. However, CF is one of the less common and generally more sucky things out there. Of course, there's always worse. I know that. But given that many people with other diseases still live to old age, just with some complications, while CFers average is still only in the 30s, does make a difference. Not only that, but as well all know, it's not just *boom* we hit 32 and drop dead. Each year we live, it gets worse and worse until we, usually slowly and painfully, die. CF is never wholly who we are, but whether or not you want to admit it, it is a BIG part. And no matter who we are, if we have it, you do have to live with it, which requires a lot more tolerance for life in general than most healthy people seem to have. I suppose I don't need to say any of this. We all know. I'm just making a point. Regarding what Dea said, after I passed through my terrible teenage years where life was nothing but a bottomless pit, I began to agree. CF or not, I'm glad I'm alive, and so even if you choose to have children that you know have the chance to have CF, you're not necessarily doing a bad thing. In fact, I wouldn't say it's a bad thing at all.
But back to Sharon, I have to bring up a rhetorical (yes thoroughly rhetorical, I don't intend to make any argument out of this, it's just something to ponder) idea. I understand family members and loved ones deal with CF to a great degree. In fact, every time the idea is brought up, I have said I'd rather it be me than anyone I love. I imagine it must be hard to be there and feel helpless. You may also believe that your children having CF is part of your god's perfect plan. However, your child may not think so. They're still young, so who knows. But just because you feel that way does not mean your children will. I think that was part of what Dave was saying. Like I said, I like being alive. CF or not, I'm glad I'm around. But no way in hell do I see my being sick as part of anyone's plan for me. Certainly in no way is it a "perfect" plan. Perfection by definition doesn't fit in that situation at all. Now, in my opinion, perfection sucks anyway. It's entirely too boring, and if everyone / everything was perfect, life would be entirely dull. I'm just trying to point out some of what may have been Dave's thinking. I don't see pointed blame. I saw a question asked just so that the parents could think it over before making that decision. Also, whether or not anyone thinks it's in any god's perfect plan for anyone to have CF, that doesn't mean everyone thinks that way... even your own children. I was raised going to church every Sunday, believing in the "popular" god that the general public refers to. When I reached an age where I could think for myself and form my own opinions, I decided I didn't believe in any of it.
I really think that was most of what Dave was saying... Now to Dave : If I spoke incorrectly or out of turn here at all, please tell me so. I hate when people misinterpret things I say to try and bring up another point of view, or be helpful... as nasty, unfair, and rude. I just wanted to speak up and voice what I saw in it, because I saw nothing that seemed mean. <img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">