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Do you tell people...?
- Thread starter CowTown
- Start date
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>chipper28</b></i> What part of her
post can't Shirley be serious about? Seems like she's sensible in
all aspects. It might not work for you, but she does seem very
logical and everything she says is clear. . .</end quote></div><br>
<br>
Never saw Airplane did you?
post can't Shirley be serious about? Seems like she's sensible in
all aspects. It might not work for you, but she does seem very
logical and everything she says is clear. . .</end quote></div><br>
<br>
Never saw Airplane did you?
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>chipper28</b></i> What part of her
post can't Shirley be serious about? Seems like she's sensible in
all aspects. It might not work for you, but she does seem very
logical and everything she says is clear. . .</end quote></div><br>
<br>
Never saw Airplane did you?
post can't Shirley be serious about? Seems like she's sensible in
all aspects. It might not work for you, but she does seem very
logical and everything she says is clear. . .</end quote></div><br>
<br>
Never saw Airplane did you?
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>chipper28</b></i> What part of her
post can't Shirley be serious about? Seems like she's sensible in
all aspects. It might not work for you, but she does seem very
logical and everything she says is clear. . .</end quote></div><br>
<br>
Never saw Airplane did you?
post can't Shirley be serious about? Seems like she's sensible in
all aspects. It might not work for you, but she does seem very
logical and everything she says is clear. . .</end quote></div><br>
<br>
Never saw Airplane did you?
so i just started college(which means meeting all new people that don't know i have cf) and im pretty much just telling people i have asthma. My three closest friends here know the whole story, but otherwise i just keep it to myself. I guess im just not at the place yet where i can tell people or be completely open about it. But my entire family tells me i cant have real relationships w/ people if im not honest about who i am and im just in denial. Its weird to think of other people having the same issues.
molly 18w/cf
molly 18w/cf
so i just started college(which means meeting all new people that don't know i have cf) and im pretty much just telling people i have asthma. My three closest friends here know the whole story, but otherwise i just keep it to myself. I guess im just not at the place yet where i can tell people or be completely open about it. But my entire family tells me i cant have real relationships w/ people if im not honest about who i am and im just in denial. Its weird to think of other people having the same issues.
molly 18w/cf
molly 18w/cf
so i just started college(which means meeting all new people that don't know i have cf) and im pretty much just telling people i have asthma. My three closest friends here know the whole story, but otherwise i just keep it to myself. I guess im just not at the place yet where i can tell people or be completely open about it. But my entire family tells me i cant have real relationships w/ people if im not honest about who i am and im just in denial. Its weird to think of other people having the same issues.
molly 18w/cf
molly 18w/cf
molly, telling someone you have cf takes a lot more time and energy than telling them you have asthma which doesn't provoke a whole lot of questions (or worry!). I don't think you are in denial. we cfers need to watch our energy. not everyone you meet (especially when you're in college) are worthy (or want to know TMI) since you may not ever see them again after that day. although if they are people you are making a part of your everyday life then I feel a disclosure might be worth it and might even reap some rewards. feel free to pm me if you'd like.
molly, telling someone you have cf takes a lot more time and energy than telling them you have asthma which doesn't provoke a whole lot of questions (or worry!). I don't think you are in denial. we cfers need to watch our energy. not everyone you meet (especially when you're in college) are worthy (or want to know TMI) since you may not ever see them again after that day. although if they are people you are making a part of your everyday life then I feel a disclosure might be worth it and might even reap some rewards. feel free to pm me if you'd like.
molly, telling someone you have cf takes a lot more time and energy than telling them you have asthma which doesn't provoke a whole lot of questions (or worry!). I don't think you are in denial. we cfers need to watch our energy. not everyone you meet (especially when you're in college) are worthy (or want to know TMI) since you may not ever see them again after that day. although if they are people you are making a part of your everyday life then I feel a disclosure might be worth it and might even reap some rewards. feel free to pm me if you'd like.
thelizardqueen
New member
I tell people on a need to know basis. I don't blurt out to every person I know that I have CF, but if it comes up, then I'll mention it. Like is someone asks me to go out but I have a cold, I'll say 'no I can't because I have CF'. Or if someone sees me taking my enzymes in public, then I say 'oh, I take these for my CF', etc. When it comes to new guys in my life, I tend to wait to tell them until I feel comfortable around them. I usually don't put it out there till the 3rd or 4th date, sometimes longer. I didn't start acting like this till I was about 20. In high school I didn't tell any of my friends until I got really sick and was put in hospital. I tended to be a very shy and private person when I was younger. But now that I'm older I really don't care. If they can't handle my having CF, then I don't need them in my life. Life's too short to worry about stupid stuff like that.
thelizardqueen
New member
I tell people on a need to know basis. I don't blurt out to every person I know that I have CF, but if it comes up, then I'll mention it. Like is someone asks me to go out but I have a cold, I'll say 'no I can't because I have CF'. Or if someone sees me taking my enzymes in public, then I say 'oh, I take these for my CF', etc. When it comes to new guys in my life, I tend to wait to tell them until I feel comfortable around them. I usually don't put it out there till the 3rd or 4th date, sometimes longer. I didn't start acting like this till I was about 20. In high school I didn't tell any of my friends until I got really sick and was put in hospital. I tended to be a very shy and private person when I was younger. But now that I'm older I really don't care. If they can't handle my having CF, then I don't need them in my life. Life's too short to worry about stupid stuff like that.
thelizardqueen
New member
I tell people on a need to know basis. I don't blurt out to every person I know that I have CF, but if it comes up, then I'll mention it. Like is someone asks me to go out but I have a cold, I'll say 'no I can't because I have CF'. Or if someone sees me taking my enzymes in public, then I say 'oh, I take these for my CF', etc. When it comes to new guys in my life, I tend to wait to tell them until I feel comfortable around them. I usually don't put it out there till the 3rd or 4th date, sometimes longer. I didn't start acting like this till I was about 20. In high school I didn't tell any of my friends until I got really sick and was put in hospital. I tended to be a very shy and private person when I was younger. But now that I'm older I really don't care. If they can't handle my having CF, then I don't need them in my life. Life's too short to worry about stupid stuff like that.
kelly,
i waited and thought a day or so after reading this to respond. in that time i think i realized something: your situation, i don't think, is really that specific to CF. (i don't mean this in a bad way! let me explain...)
i think that people in our society, or people in general, tend to act very shallow with strangers or acquaintences. you walk by someone (this happens to me all the time walking the dogs) and say "hello" "hi" [end] or "hey, how are you?" "hello. good, thanks." [end] sound familiar? when does anyone EVER say they're doing anyway except for good. it's just a script that society follows.
same thing when you call your buddy and say "what's up?" they will answer "nothing" because that question has changed from being a truthful question to simply an expression. only after this "formality" will they really tell you how they are or what they're up to. but i've digressed...
we all have a line we draw for ourselves about how much we want to share what we are really feeling at any given time with this disease. for me, i usually totally edit myself with people i don't know very well. for those i'm close to, i do edit also, but in a different way...it is more that i feel out how comfortable they are with talking about the not-so-good things about CF. same thing with my significant other, except there are times to dive into serious subjects even if it is difficult. with my family i am the most open, which is how i want it to be.
i agree with whoever said that people will look to you for clues how to handle what you tell them. but this is dangerous too, because, at least for me, it has led me to feel like i need to be strong all the time. or that i need to carry the burden and protect others from knowing the pain i really feel inside sometimes. i still need to learn to let my guard down with people who i trust, because i know that those people want to help me, and be there to support me...they don't see it as trouble, like i think they might. well, not think, but feel. it feels like if you put all that on someone that they will run away... i don't know. it's hard.
i waited and thought a day or so after reading this to respond. in that time i think i realized something: your situation, i don't think, is really that specific to CF. (i don't mean this in a bad way! let me explain...)
i think that people in our society, or people in general, tend to act very shallow with strangers or acquaintences. you walk by someone (this happens to me all the time walking the dogs) and say "hello" "hi" [end] or "hey, how are you?" "hello. good, thanks." [end] sound familiar? when does anyone EVER say they're doing anyway except for good. it's just a script that society follows.
same thing when you call your buddy and say "what's up?" they will answer "nothing" because that question has changed from being a truthful question to simply an expression. only after this "formality" will they really tell you how they are or what they're up to. but i've digressed...
we all have a line we draw for ourselves about how much we want to share what we are really feeling at any given time with this disease. for me, i usually totally edit myself with people i don't know very well. for those i'm close to, i do edit also, but in a different way...it is more that i feel out how comfortable they are with talking about the not-so-good things about CF. same thing with my significant other, except there are times to dive into serious subjects even if it is difficult. with my family i am the most open, which is how i want it to be.
i agree with whoever said that people will look to you for clues how to handle what you tell them. but this is dangerous too, because, at least for me, it has led me to feel like i need to be strong all the time. or that i need to carry the burden and protect others from knowing the pain i really feel inside sometimes. i still need to learn to let my guard down with people who i trust, because i know that those people want to help me, and be there to support me...they don't see it as trouble, like i think they might. well, not think, but feel. it feels like if you put all that on someone that they will run away... i don't know. it's hard.
kelly,
i waited and thought a day or so after reading this to respond. in that time i think i realized something: your situation, i don't think, is really that specific to CF. (i don't mean this in a bad way! let me explain...)
i think that people in our society, or people in general, tend to act very shallow with strangers or acquaintences. you walk by someone (this happens to me all the time walking the dogs) and say "hello" "hi" [end] or "hey, how are you?" "hello. good, thanks." [end] sound familiar? when does anyone EVER say they're doing anyway except for good. it's just a script that society follows.
same thing when you call your buddy and say "what's up?" they will answer "nothing" because that question has changed from being a truthful question to simply an expression. only after this "formality" will they really tell you how they are or what they're up to. but i've digressed...
we all have a line we draw for ourselves about how much we want to share what we are really feeling at any given time with this disease. for me, i usually totally edit myself with people i don't know very well. for those i'm close to, i do edit also, but in a different way...it is more that i feel out how comfortable they are with talking about the not-so-good things about CF. same thing with my significant other, except there are times to dive into serious subjects even if it is difficult. with my family i am the most open, which is how i want it to be.
i agree with whoever said that people will look to you for clues how to handle what you tell them. but this is dangerous too, because, at least for me, it has led me to feel like i need to be strong all the time. or that i need to carry the burden and protect others from knowing the pain i really feel inside sometimes. i still need to learn to let my guard down with people who i trust, because i know that those people want to help me, and be there to support me...they don't see it as trouble, like i think they might. well, not think, but feel. it feels like if you put all that on someone that they will run away... i don't know. it's hard.
i waited and thought a day or so after reading this to respond. in that time i think i realized something: your situation, i don't think, is really that specific to CF. (i don't mean this in a bad way! let me explain...)
i think that people in our society, or people in general, tend to act very shallow with strangers or acquaintences. you walk by someone (this happens to me all the time walking the dogs) and say "hello" "hi" [end] or "hey, how are you?" "hello. good, thanks." [end] sound familiar? when does anyone EVER say they're doing anyway except for good. it's just a script that society follows.
same thing when you call your buddy and say "what's up?" they will answer "nothing" because that question has changed from being a truthful question to simply an expression. only after this "formality" will they really tell you how they are or what they're up to. but i've digressed...
we all have a line we draw for ourselves about how much we want to share what we are really feeling at any given time with this disease. for me, i usually totally edit myself with people i don't know very well. for those i'm close to, i do edit also, but in a different way...it is more that i feel out how comfortable they are with talking about the not-so-good things about CF. same thing with my significant other, except there are times to dive into serious subjects even if it is difficult. with my family i am the most open, which is how i want it to be.
i agree with whoever said that people will look to you for clues how to handle what you tell them. but this is dangerous too, because, at least for me, it has led me to feel like i need to be strong all the time. or that i need to carry the burden and protect others from knowing the pain i really feel inside sometimes. i still need to learn to let my guard down with people who i trust, because i know that those people want to help me, and be there to support me...they don't see it as trouble, like i think they might. well, not think, but feel. it feels like if you put all that on someone that they will run away... i don't know. it's hard.